🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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He Sets Me On Fire said:
Oh, hey, did you ever wonder what Jon's plan was to sue the folks at ASU? Well, I think I might have, as explained in the emboldened print in the quote below. Oh, it's as nuts as any of Jon's plans, but once again, he displays a distinct lack of basic intelligence here. Check it out:



Couple problems with this.

1. Jon acknowledges that the staff at the Herald won't talk to him. Torpedo.

2. It is unlikely that the Herald would slip up and threaten him openly, as all evidence indicates that the Herald wants nothing to do with him (such as point number 1).

3. Using the exact same tactical brilliance he displayed when he openly admitted he was going to troll this thread, Jon blatantly announces that he intends to trick someone into acknowledging something that doesn't exist in order to win a court case. Winning a case on evidence you know doesn't exist is dumb enough, but no - he had to go further and tell his plan to the internet.
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4. If he actually had a case, a lawyer would take the case on contingency with no cost to Jon.
 
The dogfight story sounds familiar but I can't find it. I did find some interesting stuff while I was looking, though.

A little more on why Sweet can't drive. He failed the written test three times, and then there were the pack of scary, scary dogs on his one practical lesson. How many scary, scary dogs? Four! I do like how he calls his brother an idiot, and yet Tim managed to pass both the written and practical driving tests.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
My first attempt at driving was a disaster. Right in the middle of the lesson, a pack of dogs surrounded the car. Seriously. Four mangy farm mutts came out of nowhere and circled the vehicle. It was surreal, like something in a movie.

I failed the written test three times. I think I had a mental block or something.

Also, my eyes aren't very good. With glasses, I lack peripheral vision, without them I am horribly nearsighted. And I keep losing them for days, even weeks, at a time.

Plus my idiot brother has the car most of the time anyway, and I don't want to have to fight with him over it.
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(Source, backup)

On a strange compulsion:

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
I guess it's like watching my cat take a poop on the neighbor's lawn. I know it's wrong and nasty, but [in strained, echoing voice, teeth clenched, eyeballs bulging and vein-riddled] I can't...look...away!
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I think the ladies would be just as appalled if I or any of the other men sat here and tallied up our instances of, say, wind-breakage or cursing.
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(Source, backup)

Sweet seems genuinely terrified of his younger brother...

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
Anyone ever have one of those nightmares that you wake up from, only to discover that you're still asleep and in the dream, and you "wake up" about two or three times before you finally really wake? I've been doing that crud for three days now. Long story short, I've recently learned someone I despise is in jail...and I keep having dreams about him getting out and showing up at my house. I see the bum crossing my front lawn, or sitting on the couch in my living room grinning his brain-damaged grin at me, or open my bedroom door and see him casually walking past...and then I freak out and have a fit, or grab a weapon and take after him with it. It's horrifying. I feel as if I were living in a Wes Craven movie....
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(Source, backup)

On why his racism is too funny to be racist, and in any case at least it's not as racist as Africa...

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
My humor is so over-the-top it couldn't be considered racist. I mean, how could you not laugh at a series set in a town so polarized it has a racial slur for a name, and at any given time of day you can see black gang members randomly having knife fights in the streets? Brian Griffin barking at a black guy, you find funny? Edgy? Insightful? My dog Buddy barked at black people all the time. On one occassion two blacks came up to me, insulted me, threw me to the ground, and beat me up over it. Who's laughing now? It's called writing from life. I guess MacFarlane is somehow holier-than-thou because he never had a black guy kick him in the head at a bus stop. To call my work "racist" is to cheapen the real meaning of the word. Go look at Somalia, Darfur, Botswana, anyplace in sub-Saharan Africa, then come back here and tell me about real racism.
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(Source, backup)
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Then he misrepresents me by saying I give out my enemies' addresses at my website and order their deaths. Bull. Nowhere on my site do I call for anyone's death, and I only give out Ashleigh's address and phone number in order for people to help her. It's what I call the "thousand mouths" theory: where my voice, literally and figuratively, has failed, I call upon the public to do their duty as Americans and help me to help myself and others by spreading my message. I call on hundreds of people to wake up, see the growing danger, write letters, make phone calls. Convince Ashleigh's father to admit he has a very licentious daughter who needs help and to see she gets it. Convince the people at the College of Communications to give me a new hearing and finally settle an old injustice. Where do you get from this that I want to hurt anyone, General Baseless? Think about it (I know it's hard for a leftie, but do what you can). If I have all their addresses and I really wanted them dead, why would I need your help or anyone else's? I could have just hunted them down and killed them myself. It sure wouldn't have dragged on over nine years. A few weeks, a month, tops. What I'm proposing is a peaceful protest appealing to a mass' frustrations and a bruised sense of justice. There are college students in my audience; parents of college student and young men and women heading off to college next month. Do you want to send Junior to a school where communists run the campus paper and wicked underage girls roam the residence halls and frathouses like horny little predators? Do you want to go to such a school? I thought not. So take a few minutes to pen a nice but firm letter asking The Herald to grant me an interview to talk about what I've done with myself since graduation, sell a few books, and discuss my views in a proper forum.
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One of the best lines for me was when he criticized Chris on AJM for not being able to let go of his old grudge against Snyder :lol::lol::lol:

He Sets Me On Fire said:
Finally, General Hateful, canning is a hobby, not my "primary profession". And even if it was, at least it's honest work, something the left fails to comprehend. I've been earning pocket money picking up cans since I was eleven. See, unlike much of the left I didn't have my money handed to me in a trust fund [...] Can money kept me in a steady supply of snacks and laundry quarters all through college. I know what it is to struggle. I come from da hood, yo. I grew up on Broke Black Mountain. Sometimes I think if I hadn't spent all my cash on candy, novelty buttons, and that silly Humpty Dance tee (which went out of style five minutes after I bought it, along with my M.C. Hammer poster) and had socked some away in the bank fifteen or twenty years ago, I could be driving a Porche by now.

When no magazine bought my short stories, rather than sit around and wait for someone to hand me a publishing contract, I invested some of my earnings in publishing two books. They mock me for this, rather than laud my good conservative incentive.

What do you do for a living, might I ask, General Tipsy? And did they train you to do it in college, and stay the hell out of your way while you learned to do it? Because all I ever really took away from college was a few new prejudices and a great recipe for taco pie--and it only cost me a few grand in student loans to do it, which I'm still paying off at this late date...all for an education I wasn't allowed to finish because a glorified copy boy didn't know how to keep his stupid yap shut. And I stand by this no matter what you or Sybs might think.
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Lecturing the left about unearned money...while on welfare. I love it.
 
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Jon Sweet: White Man's Burden said:
To call my work "racist" is to cheapen the real meaning of the word. Go look at Somalia, Darfur, Botswana, anyplace in sub-Saharan Africa, then come back here and tell me about real racism.
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Okay, white southern redneck!
 
Wait. He's saying that because he isn't as racist as some of the worst colonialists of the 19th century (the history of pre-independence Botswana is particularly appalling), nobody should call him racist?

We shouldn't call him an asshole, either, I guess, because Hitler. Way to set the bar awfully low, Mr. Sweet.
 
Excellent work as always guys!

I really think that Ashleigh, if that is her real name, might have simply had a change of heart regarding Sweets when she heard about his death. Think about it: the Inner Circle stopped organized trolling of Chris out of respect for his father when Bob died, right? Perhaps this is something similar.

Still doesn't change the fact that Sweets is a simpering little wimp though.
 
Jon seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy watching All in the Family because he wouldn't understand that its racism and sexism was supposed to be satirical.
 
Holdek said:
Jon seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy watching All in the Family because he wouldn't understand that its racism and sexism was supposed to be satirical.
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Or writing angry letters to Tarantino because Django Unchained was too pro black.
 
Holdek said:
Jon seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy watching All in the Family because he wouldn't understand that its racism and sexism was supposed to be satirical.
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Didn't he claim to relate to Al Bundy at one point, completely missing the point of that character?
 
Sweet is complaining about us again, and calling us pinheads. It seems that "pinhead" is the highest form of insult among the Thumb People...

He's also accusing us of quoting him out of context; and it strikes me as a good time to point out exactly how we don't do that.

For example, when I find something amusing that Sweet has written, I almost always quote the entire post, usually preceded by a summary of what the post contains. In the example below, we see Sweet admitting that he is friendless and obsessed with trying to recapture his idealised youth.

Jonathan M. Sweet said:
Jan 21, 2013 at 2:08am Nightspade said:

I'm not sure at all were the bit about huge tool kits comes into play... is there something you'd like to share with the class, Doctor?
Well, I am getting older, let's face it, and I've thought about looking into some of those pills that help cork the ol' bat. Maybe I'll try those testosterone supplements I hear ads for on the radio sometimes, Active Male, Enhanced Male, something like that. I like their tagline: "Be the way you used to be." Because, really, that's what my work is about, rebuilding my life the way it used to be. That includes a college job, college dating, college rules and mores, just like I was taught. What's wrong with that? It's better than my idiot brother controlling my money, my food, and only allowing us to use the car once a week on Sunday--your basic law-and-order liberal, who rose to power after my partner blew town and took it upon himself to micromanage every aspect of the family's life. I had things a lot better before. So I'm a college peaker. Big deal. I tried moving on, in both my career and my relationship, and it failed. If anything, things got worse. So, as I said, I'm going back to my old formula for success. Why change? My motto: it was good enough for me in 1997, and it's good enough for me now.

I don't really have any friends my age. They've all moved on with their own lives or haven't talked to me since the Herald scandal. Over 15 years have passed and they're still mad about that. And if their business model is so horrible, why is that rag still up and running? It defies logic.

Conservatism is not dying. Many people hold conservative or moderate beliefs, and even highly left-leaning states like California are very leery of same-sex marriage, voting it down on every ballot initiative. I say we on the right are willing to respect gay relationships if the left is willing to honor and protect non-traditional straight ones, such as dating across social and faith boundaries. I've mentioned my ex's dad and how he spurned and insulted me, all because I'm a lower-class Lutheran wanting to date his rich Catholic daughter. If it had been a homosexual or a person of color who got the same treatment, Jesse Jackson would pack his bags and hurry out there on the next thing smoking. Where's my anti-defamation group? If my reconciliation had been permitted I might not be living under my brother's thumb enduring a decade of abuse and torment right now. This man's sneering elitism and intolerance ruined my life. I demand immediate justice.
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I will then go on to provide a link to Sweet's original post - in context - on the AJM website, and a backup link to an archive of his original post, again in context. (Source, backup)

There we have it - whole posts are quoted, along with links to the original text in the original context. It's interesting how Sweet always offers vague, blanket defences, and never addresses the points which are actually being made. I contend that the post is evidence of Sweet admitting he is friendless and obsessed with recapturing his idealised youth. If he or anyone else disagrees with this, I would encourage them to give their reasons for so doing.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Speaking of books, 6/06/06 was also the day Anne Coulter released her book Godless, all about the left and their poison religion of liberalism. Coulter's one of the few people besides me who truly understands how utterly hate-filled and depraved the left-wing things are.
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I shouldn't be surprised by his boner for Anne Coulter shit still made me smh.
 
Absinthe said:
Sweet is complaining about us again, and calling us pinheads. It seems that "pinhead" is the highest form of insult among the Thumb People...

He's also accusing us of quoting him out of context; and it strikes me as a good time to point out exactly how we don't do that.

For example, when I find something amusing that Sweet has written, I almost always quote the entire post, usually preceded by a summary of what the post contains. In the example below, we see Sweet admitting that he is friendless and obsessed with trying to recapture his idealised youth.



I will then go on to provide a link to Sweet's original post - in context - on the AJM website, and a backup link to an archive of his original post, again in context. (Source, backup)

There we have it - whole posts are quoted, along with links to the original text in the original context. It's interesting how Sweet always offers vague, blanket defences, and never addresses the points which are actually being made. I contend that the post is evidence of Sweet admitting he is friendless and obsessed with recapturing his idealised youth. If he or anyone else disagrees with this, I would encourage them to give their reasons for so doing.
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He seriously lumped "her dad doesn't like me" with institutionalized discrimination.

And anyone wonder why he calls us koalas? Is it suppose to be offensive? Because koalas are adorable.
 
Jon Thumb said:
I don't really have any friends my age. They've all moved on with their own lives or haven't talked to me since the Herald scandal. Over 15 years have passed and they're still mad about that. And if their business model is so horrible, why is that rag still up and running? It defies logic.
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Over 15 years have passed and they're still mad about that.
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Over 15 years have passed and they're still mad about that.
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Over 15 years have passed and they're still mad about that.
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John Titor said:
And anyone wonder why he calls us koalas? Is it suppose to be offensive? Because koalas are adorable.
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He's referencing an old, forgettable Hanna-Barbera cartoon called Kwicky Koala.
 
His brother, who's been in and out of jail on drug and DUI charges, is "a law-and-order liberal?" Mr. Sweet lives in a wilderness of strawmen.
 
John Titor said:
He seriously lumped "her dad doesn't like me" with institutionalized discrimination.

And anyone wonder why he calls us koalas? Is it suppose to be offensive? Because koalas are adorable.
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EDIT: Beaten to the punch.
 
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