Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Raging Capybara]

C3PO is the last character still standing in the Star Wars universe, so disney needs to attack him and this is the last chance they have. Solo is a cuck, Leia is a failure, Lando is a polysexual deviant, Luke is a loser incel, R2 was dominated by evil sith magic, Chewie is a pathetic porg eater and so on. They still have C3PO to destroy, and that's the reason why he is going to be so prominent is episode IX, for the purpose of character assassination and nothing else.

He's always been a diplomatic droid, a futuristic and glorified google translator. A robot that was hardwired to never commit violence because diplomats are pacifists. Now he will be a badass killer because disney has yet to humiliate the last unscathed character from Star Wars.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

I say the joke's on Disney because no one likes 3PO.

 

[Adamska]

Anyway, is it just me or is it weird how they're going to try and have 3PO suddenly be all buddy-buddy and a traveling pal for Rey and her nobody gang despite that after two movies I don't think he even knows they exist or vice versa? Especially since all he's been is degrading background comic relief in these shitty movies. Did they ever even interact?

It's the mark of a bad writer when they have to rely on nostalgia for an IP. Doubly so when by this point they fucked it up beyond repair and most people who'd get tricked by nostalgia wouldn't care. Triply so when the nostalgia factor is they bring in the old comic relief since they character-assassinated and actually assassinated all of the major characters and most of the minor characters already.

Also I can not tell you how much I LOATHE the idea of Palpatine coming back, in a way that makes Dark Empire look genius and also gives the potential to just bring him back in the past as this infinite and eternal sith. It is probably the thing I hate most out of all the leaks, and that ignores Finn's family getting dragged in, fucking 30 minutes of Kylo Ren getting his mask fixed as a petty fuck you to Roundhead, the fact they're dragging back Prequels references because they're looking good at this point, and most of all how JarJar Abrams is so fucking retarded he is doing four fucking awful mcguffin/mystery box chases that will do fucking nothing to satisfy the viewer.

Fuck the 1983 Labour Party Manifesto, THIS is the longest suicide note in history.

 

[Miller]

I LOATHE the idea of Palpatine coming back

Me too, there's no build-up, you can easilly get the brainstorming that happened at Disney LucasFilm: "ok, we need something. Let's bring Palpatine for nostalgia sake, people won't pay attention to the rest of the script".
This trilogy is just painful to watch. There's no character to root for, no character development, no interesting location, no big story, each movie feels like a one-shot. Ironically enough, the only recent SW movie that felt like Star Wars was Rogue One and it's not even the version envisioned by the director.

 

[Adamska]

Me too, there's no build-up, you can easilly get the brainstorming that happened at Disney LucasFilm: "ok, we need something. Let's bring Palpatine for nostalgia sake, people won't pay attention to the rest of the script".
This trilogy is just painful to watch. There's no character to root for, no character development, no interesting location, no big story, each movie feels like a one-shot. Ironically enough, the only recent SW movie that felt like Star Wars was Rogue One and it's not even the version envisioned by the director.

It's funnier because I don't like Rogue One due to how weak the characters are in that movie and how superfluous their story was. I'd have cared more if they were divorced from the Death Star plot and the film gave us time to learn and care about the characters. I don't mind Dirty Dozen Takes the Guns of Navarone in Space; I just thought that the execution was weak. Like instead of it being the Death Star, how about they bust into and blow up a Dockyard making Super Star Destroyers or something.

But at this point? It's the least bad movie; at least unlike TFA you can watch it and get a full experience from it. TFA relied heavily on the sequel answering a lot of its point and it was answered with Ruin being a bitch, so that is now retroactively ruined.

 

[Creep3r]

It's funnier because I don't like Rogue One due to how weak the characters are in that movie and how superfluous their story was. I'd have cared more if they were divorced from the Death Star plot and the film gave us time to learn and care about the characters. I don't mind Dirty Dozen Takes the Guns of Navarone in Space; I just thought that the execution was weak. Like instead of it being the Death Star, how about they bust into and blow up a Dockyard making Super Star Destroyers or something.

But at this point? It's the least bad movie; at least unlike TFA you can watch it and get a full experience from it. TFA relied heavily on the sequel answering a lot of its point and it was answered with Ruin being a bitch, so that is now retroactively ruined.

My thoughts exactly (almost eerily so...). It doesn't help that the cast is so over-bloated that it hardly gives the film enough time to develop any single one of them. So they all just end up being dull or unmemorable. Only names I can even remember from that shit are "Jen Erso" and "K2SO", since Jen Erso is just a knockoff of Jan Ors and the edgy droid was the only thing that remotely stood out. Honestly the only good parts of the movie were the ones not focusing on the main characters, like the Imperial scenes, the ones with the other background Rebels like those mon calamari (I still don't understand why they didn't use Ackbar, of course that could just be another example of Disney wanting to glorify their own donut steals again) and the scenes with Vader. Hell ask any common joe and the only thing they'll remember from the movie are the Vader and Leia scenes which are the main reasons for insane praise.

I've gone into rants about RO, its characters, its story and its retcons before in this thread so I don't want to repeat myself. But most of what I've said can be summed up here (minus the shitposting).

Also, this is a really minor nitpick, but Bail Organa telling Mon Mothma for no reason that "[Kenobi] served me well in the Clone Wars." was so out of place, especially since Mon Mothma knew who Kenobi was in both old canon and Disney canon and was a close friend of Bail's for years, so she should know this. But they just had to have that line in the movie for nostalgia's sake so they can explain why Leia said what she said to Luke. Its like its trying to imply that Bail says this on a weekly basis.

But the biggest fuck up in the movie was the obvious retcon they made to the opening of A New Hope which makes Vader's behavior completely weird and contradicts what's seen in RO.

At the end of Rogue One, we see Princess Leia’s starship Tantive IV blast its way out of the Rebel flagship. Darth Vader should now clearly know this is a Rebel ship as it just left a Rebel battle. This contradicts established events in A New Hope in several ways. First, in the original film Vader says “several transmissions were beamed” to the ship. This is now a little different. The transmissions were sent to a different ship — Admiral Raddus’s flagship — and then put on a disc, and then handed off to a guy who runs through an airlock to the Tantive IV. Vader watches this all happen, so, presumably Vader knows this when he boards the ship in A New Hope.


Second, when Vader kills Captain Antilles, that guy says “we intercepted no transmissions.” It’s a weird denial, because he’s actually telling the truth. Based on what we’ve seen in Rogue One, Vader should have said this: “I saw a guy give a disc to another guy, and then leave the middle of battle where one of my bases got ripped-off.” And then Antilles should now say — post Rogue One retcon — “Hey, man, that wasn’t us. You’ve got the wrong ship. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

 

[Miller]

It's funnier because I don't like Rogue One due to how weak the characters are in that movie and how superfluous their story was. I'd have cared more if they were divorced from the Death Star plot and the film gave us time to learn and care about the characters. I don't mind Dirty Dozen Takes the Guns of Navarone in Space; I just thought that the execution was weak. Like instead of it being the Death Star, how about they bust into and blow up a Dockyard making Super Star Destroyers or something.

Originally the characters weren't a group of "diverse" misfits, I think they were all spies and they would all end up getting killed by Vader as the story went on, Krenic wasn't written as a moustache-twirling villain either, his role would've been more important. It was supposed to be a war movie but the people currently in charge of Star Wars didn't like Garreth Edwards' take.

By the way there's an anon on /tv/ who claims to have seen the first cut of Episode IX. https://boards.4channel.org/tv/thread/117987575

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

By the way there's an anon on /tv/ who claims to have seen the first cut of Episode IX. https://boards.4channel.org/tv/thread/117987575

I liked it, but a lot of stuff I’m seeing people speculate on isn’t going to happen, so heavy fan boys might be disappointed. It cements Luke Skywalker as the best character in fantasy ever though, and for me redeemed Last Jedi.

and for me redeemed Last Jedi

I call shenanigans.

 

[Creep3r]

By the way there's an anon on /tv/ who claims to have seen the first cut of Episode IX. https://boards.4channel.org/tv/thread/117987575

Yeah... I don't trust what he's selling. He offers nothing new and doesn't present any evidence or even spoilers that have actually been confirmed other than the broadcast thing. In fact most of what's he's saying comes from a pre-existing and disproved spoiler which an anon in the thread even posts, and it doesn't help that most of his answers are vague or simply finish up with "wow guys, this movie has totally redeemed TLJ!" while actually trying to defend said film. His claim that C-3PO is the true star of the film and that he has a high kill count also sounds like bullshit to try (while failing) to keep people hyped for the film, but the most obvious sign that he's lying is his claim that Kylo Ren will become a true Sith Lord and become the ruler of the Galaxy, but he claims its actually optimistic because the "message of Luke" will inspire people to Resist.

His writing style also seems highly reminiscent of an infamous anon on /tv/ known as the "Rian poster" who is a turbo sperg that's been shitposting and spamming /tv/ since TLJ. He even had his own thread on 8chan's /cow/ once.

 

[Miller]

Yeah I don't trust him either.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

I've lurked long enough, may as well jump into the abyss:

Yeah, i think that story from 4chan is fucking nonsense(although kinda funny). From what I can piece together, the last shot was on a closed set with Ridley and Driver on Lars homestead.

I think I know where this crap is heading, but it would just be speculation. There are hints of it in TFA and TLJ. Its going to be sloppy, but its going to try to wrap up this incoherent saga as a fairy tale....

Here is my autistic speculation, if I'm taking certain bits and pieces as true:

• The macguffin containing Palpatine's essense. I guess some sort of weird artifact.
• The ending of lars homstead with Ridley and Driver
• The lightsaber duel that moves the characters through space/time
• Ren/Rey's force bond being further explored.
• Ren redeaming himself(I guess fighting possession?)through self sacrifice...

I'm leaving out some other stuff, but thats the only shit I can think of....​

​

What we have seen and how it ties into this bullshit:​

• Rey having the flashback when touching Anakin's lightsaber in TFA.
• The drip of water on Ren's hand when he bonds with Rey in TLJ.
• Luke's projection at the end of TLJ, where(with all of his powers)projects himself across space and time. But, its only a projection.
• Yoda's comment about hoping the next generation does better than the previous one(paraphrasing).

So, where are they going with this nonsense? Its time travel; fixing the past to make for a better future(instead of destroying it).​

​

This is Disney, so I'm thinking fairytale or 'Wizard of Oz'. Rey and Ren both have a unique ability. Rey can travel through time, but Ren can manipulate it. So, at some point, they both realize(if they work together)they can change reality...​

​

This is probably the real power that Palpatine coveted. I think they're probably going to turn him into an eternal Sith Demon(why not? Who fucking cares?)whose been traveling through Sith hosts forever. So he possesed Plageius, Palpatine, Snoke...​

​

All to eventually figure out to become a God himself who can manipulate reality to his whim....​

​

So how do we get to the ending? So there is some sort of climactic ending, everyone fights. Rey and Ren fight stand-in Emperor. Big battle happening somwhere else. But, its totally fatalistic. The heroes win but everybody dies except for Rey. Finn, Poe, Chewie, and the falcon are destroyed. Ren(now Ben) is in the process of dying, and he tells Rey to destroy the artificat once he is dead(cause it will contain the essence of Palpatine).​

​

Sensing this is the most pyhrric victory ever, Rey, while Ben is still alive, uses the force flash stuff to travel to Palpatines death in ROTJ, and destroys the artificat.​

​

This creates a new reality(which is shown in imagery)​

• The first order never happens
• Snoke never happens
• Finn is never kidnapped
• Han and Leia alive
• Luke is alive and his temple restored
• Whatever
• Whatever
• You get the idea

We end it with Ben and Rey(Ben never becoming kylo, nor Rey a jedi) a simple couple, on Ben's uncles old farm(on Tatooine). They're watching the two suns rising in the distance...​

​

It's totally sloppy, but audience getting their emotional dopamine won't care initially....​

​

​

 

[CamelCursive]

I just realized that Supershadow may have actually been better at handling the franchise than Disney.

SuperShadow

SuperShadow is the alias of a Star Wars fan who ran two fan sites – first PrequelRumors.Tripod.com, then SuperShadow.com on which he fabricated insider knowledge and claimed that he was a close friend of George Lucas, and one of the leading Star Wars fan experts in history. According to a Whois...

starwars.fandom.com

The Original Star Wars Internet Troll - The Story of SuperShadow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKCeXqLiH3A Before there was YouTube, before there was what you could call social media, there was a man known as "SuperShadow". SuperShadow got his start on the free web hosting service called Tripod, that was popular in the 90's. SuperShadow's Tripod web

starwarshub.net

 

[Creep3r]

Here is my autistic speculation, if I'm taking certain bits and pieces as true:

• The macguffin containing Palpatine's essense. I guess some sort of weird artifact.
• The ending of lars homstead with Ridley and Driver
• The lightsaber duel that moves the characters through space/time
• Ren/Rey's force bond being further explored.
• Ren redeaming himself(I guess fighting possession?)through self sacrifice...

I'm leaving out some other stuff, but thats the only shit I can think of....​

​

What we have seen and how it ties into this bullshit:​

• Rey having the flashback when touching Anakin's lightsaber in TFA.
• The drip of water on Ren's hand when he bonds with Rey in TLJ.
• Luke's projection at the end of TLJ, where(with all of his powers)projects himself across space and time. But, its only a projection.
• Yoda's comment about hoping the next generation does better than the previous one(paraphrasing).

So, where are they going with this nonsense? Its time travel; fixing the past to make for a better future(instead of destroying it).​

​

This is Disney, so I'm thinking fairytale or 'Wizard of Oz'. Rey and Ren both have a unique ability. Rey can travel through time, but Ren can manipulate it. So, at some point, they both realize(if they work together)they can change reality...​

​

This is probably the real power that Palpatine coveted. I think they're probably going to turn him into an eternal Sith Demon(why not? Who fucking cares?)whose been traveling through Sith hosts forever. So he possesed Plageius, Palpatine, Snoke...​

​

All to eventually figure out to become a God himself who can manipulate reality to his whim....​

​

So how do we get to the ending? So there is some sort of climactic ending, everyone fights. Rey and Ren fight stand-in Emperor. Big battle happening somwhere else. But, its totally fatalistic. The heroes win but everybody dies except for Rey. Finn, Poe, Chewie, and the falcon are destroyed. Ren(now Ben) is in the process of dying, and he tells Rey to destroy the artificat once he is dead(cause it will contain the essence of Palpatine).​

​

Sensing this is the most pyhrric victory ever, Rey, while Ben is still alive, uses the force flash stuff to travel to Palpatines death in ROTJ, and destroys the artificat.​

​

This creates a new reality(which is shown in imagery)​

• The first order never happens
• Snoke never happens
• Finn is never kidnapped
• Han and Leia alive
• Luke is alive and his temple restored
• Whatever
• Whatever
• You get the idea

We end it with Ben and Rey(Ben never becoming kylo, nor Rey a jedi) a simple couple, on Ben's uncles old farm(on Tatooine). They're watching the two suns rising in the distance...​

​

It's totally sloppy, but audience getting their emotional dopamine won't care initially....​

​

​

This is all actually pretty likely and fits with some of the confirmed spoilers. And its seems bullshitty enough to result in a bunch of mystery boxes that won't get answers, which is how JJ works and fits with Kennedy's claim that the film won't give any solid answers.

The hippy dippy space-time travel bullshit is also likely, not because its mentioned in spoilers, but because Disney-Lucasfilm keeps referencing it in their media and JJ just loves to abuse time travel for plot convenience. Here's a list of Disney Wars media showing spacetime shit in order of release:
1: The 10th episode of the Rebels cartoon ( 2014 )
2: TFA ( 2015 )
3: The second issue of Dr. Aphra ( 2016 )
4: The final episode of the Rebels cartoon ( 2018 )
5: That cringeworthy Women of the Galaxy guide ( 2018 )
6, 7, 8: The 5th, 6th and 7th issues of the Vader comic ( 2018-2019 )
9: There's also a lot of other media like Lost Stars that won't shut up about how wonderful time travel is but doesn't actually show space time shit.

There's no common name for the concept, but Wookieepedo just calls them portals (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Portal) and it involves the "World Between Worlds" as being the nexus of the universe. I usually just call it the space anus.

I can see them pulling that bullshit so very easily, especially since its exactly as you said, as they had Palpatine lusting after the space anus, with characters claiming it would make him a god.

Also, just having Rey and Kylo ambiguously together on Tatooine with no real explanation just to satisfy the insane Reylo shippers is even more likely. But if time travel is a thing and they change reality, what's the point of broadcasting Luke's message? If they reboot the universe, Luke will have his academy and be famous again, so what's the point? And if they really do push the reset button, the masses will eat that shit up no matter how bad or corny it is. Or worse, they announce that they're recanonizing the old canon, but now it'll have Rey, Ren, Dr-FUCKING-Aphra and all of that crazy woke shit in it, making it an even bigger mess. But people will eat that shit up because of cheap fanservice and shipper wank.

 

[Antipathy]

Palpatine lusting after the space anus

Well, Disney's really reduced him to that, huh? A cosmic buttsex enthusiast?
I'm being sarcastic to hide the unfathomable rage that such a shit ending would do to the franchise. RIP Star Wars, we hardly knew thee.

 

[Wyzzerd]

I will only accept time travel if it resets all the disney trash and we go back what we had.

It's only 5 billion or so dollars down the drain, the golden franchise tarnished, and thousands of angry fans, no big deal.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I will only accept time travel if it resets all the disney trash and we go back what we had.

It's only 5 billion or so dollars down the drain, the golden franchise tarnished, and thousands of angry fans, no big deal.

I'll tell you what would have been nicer, George could have just retired and leave Lucasfilm.

 

[BR55]

Me too, there's no build-up, you can easilly get the brainstorming that happened at Disney LucasFilm: "ok, we need something. Let's bring Palpatine for nostalgia sake, people won't pay attention to the rest of the script".
This trilogy is just painful to watch. There's no character to root for, no character development, no interesting location, no big story, each movie feels like a one-shot. Ironically enough, the only recent SW movie that felt like Star Wars was Rogue One and it's not even the version envisioned by the director.

So all in all the Sequel Trilogy suffers from the exact same problem that New Star Trek suffers from.
Pointless and irrelevant beyond the initial dopamine hit in the theater and leaving you with no desire to ever see it again.
Yeah that sounds about right.
It's kinda J.J. Abrams style. Although no one could have predicted Rian Johnson so New Trek wins on that front at least.

 

[Oaat]

I will only accept time travel if it resets all the disney trash and we go back what we had.

Then Disney can start changing legends canon.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Also, just having Rey and Kylo ambiguously together on Tatooine with no real explanation just to satisfy the insane Reylo shippers is even more likely. But if time travel is a thing and they change reality, what's the point of broadcasting Luke's message? If they reboot the universe, Luke will have his academy and be famous again, so what's the point? And if they really do push the reset button, the masses will eat that shit up no matter how bad or corny it is. Or worse, they announce that they're recanonizing the old canon, but now it'll have Rey, Ren, Dr-FUCKING-Aphra and all of that crazy woke shit in it, making it an even bigger mess. But people will eat that shit up because of cheap fanservice and shipper wank.

To be fair, if its executed properly(JJ does have some visual panache): you can convey quite a bit of info, with imagery and sound, for a "flash forward". For example, you can make Finn a student at Lukes academy. Another idea would be a line from Hamill(as a lead in for the final shot), "I bear a gift for my nephew and his lovely bride." It just has to be enough to know that our heroes are in a better place....

I think the broadcasting luke's message stuff is bullshit. That rumor could be a plant for all we know.

Part of me would LOVE for it to be true, cause its inanely bold and tone deaf. But, it doesnt really fit as an unnecessary ending to a nine part saga.

See, the thing with TLJ, its not that subversion is bad: its the utter contempt for the audience(admittley, i enjoyed that initally. Star Wars fans are insufferable)and the characters. Not to mention a terrible script with pointless subplots and ancilarry characters. We dont need Holdo, or DJ. You can keep Tico, but position her as a supporting character in your third act. Most importantly, develop your leads. Outside of Luke and Kylo, there is no progression for anyone else(we waste time on bullshit ancillary characters).

Anyway, since we have a middle act that doesnt develop your leads. JJ will infer and try to rely on fan service and emotional black mail to get the train on the tracks. A lay up like TFA will be sufficent I think. Nobody will care thats its lazy, or that its a well worn cliche(time travel out). Its safe and happy which I guess is appropriate for Star Wars...

The soft reboot would be interesting. It would effectively wipe out Wendig's nonsense and most of terrible book tie ins. How would that effect Galaxys Edge though? Thats more interesting.

Its also telling that The Mandalorian would be completely unaffected either way(given its scope and position in whatever timeline)...

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Also I can not tell you how much I LOATHE the idea of Palpatine coming back, in a way that makes Dark Empire look genius and also gives the potential to just bring him back in the past as this infinite and eternal sith.

Count me among those that despise dead characters being revived for "reasons." It was bad enough Maul was revived for Filoni's Clone Wars, Rebels, and other media simply because he was deemed misused or underused in TPM. Palpatine's alleged return/revival seems to concede that the new trilogy has no meaningful or readily-identifiable villain and this is the last-ditch effort to have one to close this trilogy.

This trilogy is just painful to watch. There's no character to root for, no character development, no interesting location, no big story, each movie feels like a one-shot.

And worse, no clear-cut, fearsome villain. Snoke was a joke. Ditto for Hux and anyone else part of the First Order. one need not like -- in the traditional sense -- the villain, but it helps to have one that one knows is the villain and his or her motivations for what makes them so evil. Kylo Ren doesn't even count because he seems more like an an angsty teen goth than a bona fide villain. Worse, the two movies shown thus far are so disjointed that low tier SW fan fiction seems to be better written.

But the biggest fuck up in the movie was the obvious retcon they made to the opening of A New Hope which makes Vader's behavior completely weird and contradicts what's seen in RO.

I've been convinced that the people working on SW since Disney's takeover (Filoni et al) would think nothing of contradicting the canon established by the OT and pre-Disney media if they could get away with it. This sadly confirms my fears.

I call shenanigans.

I say it's just another one of those SW shills that blindly claim anything SW is awesome, but mostly praise the stuff that's absolute garbage.

This is Disney, so I'm thinking fairytale or 'Wizard of Oz'. Rey and Ren both have a unique ability. Rey can travel through time, but Ren can manipulate it. So, at some point, they both realize(if they work together)they can change reality...This is probably the real power that Palpatine coveted

can see them pulling that bullshit so very easily, especially since its exactly as you said, as they had Palpatine lusting after the space anus, with characters claiming it would make him a god.

Of all the things to take from other SW media, why do we have to get the awfulness of space/time travel. It was bad enough to see it used to keep Filoni's Pet (aka Ahsoka) from dying at Vader's hand. Now, it may be used to mess up the cinematic SW universe and that's anything but a pretty thought.

It seems more and more that my watching Episode IX will be solely to see how much of a trash fire it ends up as.

To make up for all that, let me keep a promise I made here. At the end of last year, I gifted myself a used copy of Splinter of the Mind's Eye to read when I had the chance. Well, I recently had the chance to read and finish it. It was shorter than my younger self thought when I read it when it first came out. However, there is plenty of action at a good pace -- not too much and not too little. When I finished my rereading, part of me wished we could have seen an on-screen version of this. It's a shame those writing SW novels under Disney seem to be taking what made SotME good and doing the exact opposite in terms of characters, development, action, pacing, and overall execution.