🎨 Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[gummy]

So... this entire business plan is built upon lies to your family, lies about earnings to your potential investors, and lies to your business partner? Yeah, sounds like things will go great.

Simeon just assumes I will make that much in the book sales.

C'mon Cynthia. You know how much you've make in eBook sales so far. You know how much money your Indigogos and Kickstarters have made. How are you going to suddenly get 100k in eBook sales?

I was too afraid to tell him for fear he wouldn't want to help me anymore. He doesn't have to know either. What doesn't know about me won't hurt him.

So these are the morals the Wogglebug espouses in his books and movies? I didn't know he was so impish. You should let him breathe fire.

 

[FF 215]

Hello bug lady.

I was too afraid to tell him for fear he wouldn't want to help me anymore.

If you're paying him, he isn't helping you. He is your employee.
P.S. the bug should have 6 legs because of being a bug

 

[AbraCadaver]

I've been paying him since April. I've paid $1,250 for his working on look for a film company to make my movie. And for making the business plan I've paid him $550 so far and still owe him $750 for it which I'm paying in installments whenever I can.

You FUCKING IDIOT. You paid him THAT MUCH to do fuck all for you so far?? Are you insane? Jesus this is a textbook scam.

Also no one needs to be PAID to be setting you up with a self-publishing company. A vanity press like that is happy to take your money and print whatever unsellable books you want! That’s like paying someone to set you up with a pizza joint that will sell you pizza. You don’t need an “in,” you just need to offer them money for the service.

You are being scammed out of THOUSANDS and you are wasting your mom and aunt’s money in this fashion and LYING to them about it. Unlike your nigerian prince friend, I know this industry from experience and you are having money stolen from you hand over fist. On top of that Simeon has flattered you with “oh I want to marry you because you’re so special” to gain your trust and make you keep paying.

You are PAYING A CON MAN. I’m sorry you have no tard wrangler to make you stop, but you need to stop.

 

[Picklechu]

This thread is still very funny, but also sad(der) now. Cynthia's new meds and/or therapist seemed to be doing her some good, she got some dental work done, blah blah blah, but she's still obsessed with making a media empire about a bedbug that no one but her cares about (and that doesn't breathe fire or shoot people), and she is also literally the most gullible lolcow on the entire site. Literally a scammer's dream target. "Yeah, sure, I like the Wobble Guy movie, please send me another $50." "Here's some half-assed voice work, that will be $500." "Henlo my firend how are you I love you, I am ministed from God. Please give me $2 thousand U S Dollars American to make Woggle-Bug movie, and also please marry me."


Oh well.

 

[AbraCadaver]

No one should ever get involved with cows, but I almost wish her mother knew about this and could put a stop to throwing away this money.

 

[FF 215]

No one should ever get involved with cows, but I almost wish her mother knew about this and could put a stop to throwing away this money.

If her mother could put a stop to any of this, I would hope she would have tried by now.
And if she has, she should try harder.

 

[Mike Hunt]

Cynthia, thank you for posting the business plan. It is clear to me that this person does not have any experience in the film industry, fails at basic arithmetic within the document, and overall this was cobbled together to earn your trust and take your money. I'm sorry you got your hopes up but this is not worth any further payments or contact with this individual.



He doesn't even spell the name of your proposed company correctly.

He doesn't even know Cynthia's surname. That's how much he "loves" her.

And she said she would get in touch with an agency where we live to help me get my movie made. But I'm sure she lacks the skills and intelligence to do so, however she may want to.

With all due respect, I'm not sure you have the high ground to talk about your mother lacking intelligence when A, she had the better idea of finding local agencies to work with you, and B, she wasn't the one who got conned out of $2000 and just a Word document that doesn't help you at all to get Wogglebug out into the world to show for it.

You're getting quality suggestions from KF members for FREE here. Do yourself (and your relatives' poor wallets) a favor and listen to them.

Edit: Removed leftover line at the top.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I just told her I wanted the pictures for my Facebook. I get my money from them and just tell them I am paying off other kinds of people I am working on books and movies with (illustrators, voice actors, ect.) I can't tell them about how I've been paying Simeon because I started to tell my mother in January and found out she doesn't trust foreigners. And she said she would get in touch with an agency where we live to help me get my movie made. But I'm sure she lacks the skills and intelligence to do so, however she may want to.

I was too afraid to tell him for fear he wouldn't want to help me anymore. He doesn't have to know either. What doesn't know about me won't hurt him.

Frankly, I was a little upset that you were scammed but these horrible statements remind me of how you treated people who worked for you for money and how you didn't pay them until people in this thread insisted. It's dubious at best whether you acutally paid them or just said you did so we'd get off your back.

But to put it in a way that you actually understand:
If Wogglebug was real, he would absolutely detest you for the horribly selfish things you do, how you take advantage of others, of their kindness, how you lie to them and how you withhold information to further abuse that trust and kindness.

 

[Miss Misery]

You need to pause the creative side of your business and work on the realistic aspects. ANYONE can write a business plan. Google 'how to write a business plan' and do it yourself; that's probably exactly what Simeon did and yours will actually have correct spelling and grammar and cost you $0.

Several people have suggested books about making movies, you should probably get those and read them first.

And before you get involved with anyone in 'the business' again? Google THEM too and check out their bonafides.

For instance: Film Connection Ltd is a production company that was incorporated in FEBRUARY of 2019. They have never made a movie. They also do not pay to make your movie--you have to find a producer to that.

I know this is optimistic as hell, but if you want to get your movies made YOU need to do the research and educate yourself before you even think about hiring people to help you... and next time don't choose the cheapest freelancer you can find.

Edit: And by the way...

Spoiler: Cynthia Hanson is her nom de plume.

He doesn't even know Cynthia's surname. That's how much he "loves" her.
View attachment 825763

Cherie Hapney.

 

[Clockwork Dragon]

I've been paying him since April. I've paid $1,250 for his working on look for a film company to make my movie. And for making the business plan I've paid him $550 so far and still owe him $750 for it which I'm paying in installments whenever I can.

OK, so, you probably have gotten the idea that everyone here thinks this guy is a crook, but for your own sake going forward, please stop giving him money. You would have done better to take that money and light it on fire. At least fire is pretty and gives warmth.

For the record, for vanity presses, you don't need an agent or some sort of middleman, or whatever. The whole point of a vanity press is that you pay them to produce something. They could give a shit about an agent representing you, as long as they get their money. E.g., if you want to go the vanity press route (and whatever the equivalent of it for movie production is) do some research to find reputable ones-- and there are some extremely predatory vanity presses-- and figure out how much money you want to spend and how you want to spend it.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

OK, so, you probably have gotten the idea that everyone here thinks this guy is a crook, but for your own sake going forward, please stop giving him money. You would have done better to take that money and light it on fire. At least fire is pretty and gives warmth.

For the record, for vanity presses, you don't need an agent or some sort of middleman, or whatever. The whole point of a vanity press is that you pay them to produce something. They could give a shit about an agent representing you, as long as they get their money. E.g., if you want to go the vanity press route (and whatever the equivalent of it for movie production is) do some research to find reputable ones-- and there are some extremely predatory vanity presses-- and figure out how much money you want to spend and how you want to spend it.

Case in point: With the money Cynthia threw at this Simeon asshat, she could have started financing the release of her vanity cockroach-fanfiction already.

It's like she doesn't want to produce results, as long as she can blow other people's money on nonsense and fantasize about how she'll be releasing her works soon.

 

[AnOminous]

LOL @ these people trying to get this complete idiot not to continue doing stupid things. You Kiwi Farms motherfuckers with good intentions, you are just going to bang your heads into reality over and over until you become as evil as the rest of us.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Case in point: With the money Cynthia threw at this Simeon asshat, she could have started financing the release of her vanity cockroach-fanfiction already.

It's like she doesn't want to produce results, as long as she can blow other people's money on nonsense and fantasize about how she'll be releasing her works soon.

No, it's like she's a retard.

 

[Sam Losco]

I think someone else mentioned the guy just wanting a green card... With her forking over that much money for nothing, I'd say that theory is very likely. He figured he might have a big enough sucker to do the green card scam. As soon as he's in the country he'd either disappear or maybe stick with her just to milk her for everything he can before disappearing

 

[Rabbit Bones]

No, I don't live with my parents anymore. My father is dead but I still call my mother most every day. And no, she doesn't know about Simeon. She knows I'm making movies and writing books, but she doesn't know anything about them, either. And my aunt doesn't know about him, either. I just told her I wanted the pictures for my Facebook. I get my money from them and just tell them I am paying off other kinds of people I am working on books and movies with (illustrators, voice actors, ect.) I can't tell them about how I've been paying Simeon because I started to tell my mother in January and found out she doesn't trust foreigners. And she said she would get in touch with an agency where we live to help me get my movie made. But I'm sure she lacks the skills and intelligence to do so, however she may want to. She must not and never will know about Simeon anymore than she ever will about this forum thread. And since she doesn't even have a computer there is no need to worry about that.

You're in absolutely no position to criticize your mothers intelligence. You're the idiot that's wasted hundreds of her hard earned dollars on your idiot quest to make a movie no one will watch, of a character that literally no one but you finds endearing. You're insanely ungrateful, and the only reason I hope you listen to us and cut this Nigerian asshole off is that it's her money you're wasting. If you were just hemorrhaging your tard bucks to Africa, I really wouldn't give a shit.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

You're in absolutely no position to criticize your mothers intelligence. You're the idiot that's wasted hundreds of her hard earned dollars on your idiot quest to make a movie no one will watch, of a character that literally no one but you finds endearing. You're insanely ungrateful, and the only reason I hope you listen to us and cut this Nigerian asshole off is that it's her money you're wasting. If you were just hemorrhaging your tard bucks to Africa, I really wouldn't give a shit.

So, like, are you attending the premiere of the movie, err?

 

[AbraCadaver]

LOL @ these people trying to get this complete idiot not to continue doing stupid things. You Kiwi Farms motherfuckers with good intentions, you are just going to bang your heads into reality over and over until you become as evil as the rest of us.

I’m turning away from my earnest advice and starting to wonder if I could get in on this. How long would it take me to get a bare bones “professional” production company website up and running and then email her as an interested producer? I’ve got my eye on some designer shoes this month, and we only need a few hundred more dollars to finally get pre-pre-pre-production rolling on Wogglebug 3: Woggle Harder! I’ll even send her a business plan and free tshirt.

 

[Ido]

Ok, who's writing to Dr. Phil? He's done a shit ton of these Nigerian scammer things, maybe he has the heart to do one more and send her to the ranch so she can't contact this guy.

 

[WogglebugLover]

So, like, are you attending the premiere of the movie, err?

Yes, I will be attending the premiere of my movie on YouTube in three days. As I've always wanted to interact with my real fans and friends all at once in live chat while watching my great work.

 

[Rabbit Bones]

So, like, are you attending the premiere of the movie, err?

I already know it's going to be as creepy and shitty as every other movie she's put out. It's going to be badly animated and have horrifying nightmare faces, the voice acting is going to be heinous and grating, and the story is going to be both nonsensical and completely boring at the same time. The only reason I would go is to read Kiwis (i.e the only people who will be watching it) ripping it in the chat feed, but I imagine most of the highlights of that will end up here anyway.