💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Misaki Nakahara]

Eh, a mayo cake sounds worse than it is. Mayo is 99% oil + eggs. Cakes are flour + sugar + oil + eggs.

Couldn't you just forego with the mayo entirely and bake a cake the normal, not-gross way? Seems like the kind of thing you do one time as a weird college experiment.

 

[JackDavis]

Couldn't you just forego with the mayo entirely and bake a cake the normal, not-gross way? Seems like the kind of thing you do one time as a weird college experiment.

Yeah but mayo cakes get you more pageclicks and views.

 

[FemalePresident]

What about Jack eating a spoon of mayo in front of his son just to annoy him? That's pure dumbass

 

[Shaved Kiwis]

Yeah but mayo cakes get you more pageclicks and views.

Normally I would agree, but between Aunt Myrna's Party Salad™ and all the other videos cataloging Jack's mongoloid behavior over the past decade he genuinely seems like the type of person that would make a mayo cake and unironically crow about how clever he is for saving time and money. This is the same guy that has a line of barbecue sauces that his wife has to keep reminding him to shill. The same sauces that he refuses to use in his cookery, opting instead for Sweet Baby Ray's. Between that, disabling his ratings/comments and not doing anything to capitalize on his hate watchers I just can't see such clever Machiavellian machinations coming from Salmonella man.

A large part of his appeal comes down to the fact that he is basically doing an earnest gonzo white trash reality cooking show. Jack actually delivers on the promise that reality TV offered. A peak behind the curtain. You're not gonna see Snooki on the Jersey Shore telling people to eat raw chicken or to napalm Palestinians. Jack doesn't have editors or image consultants. Just horribly unmarketable opinions and the uncanny ability to fuck up anything he touches beyond what should be humanly possible.

 

[Damaged Goods]

Ok, about the mayo cake. Mayonnaise cake is a thing. It's between a meme and a food hack. It became popular on the Internet because it sounds gross af but technically there's little to no difference between putting the ingredients in mayo into your cake one by one or in blended (mayo) form. So it makes for a good video. It can also be framed as a hack, like if you don't have fresh eggs on hand, or if you're short on time, or if you're lazy and you need something with as few ingredients as possible. Or if you're in prison.

 

[Aaway]

i think tomorrow morning he's going to upload his third video from the burger wars tour and i believe it's going to be the one where one of them had to go to the hospital

i'm betting all my money that person being jack. its pretty obvious he just ate too many burgers and ended up in the hospital. classic jack

 

[CatFace]

Spoiler: a bit late

If you care about Teflon getting into your food why do you leave a plastic cooking utensil bubbling in your pot?

 

[Kelly Bundy]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=AmKv4NHJ10E
Christ Jack. He's complaining about not seeing meat in his pita (similar to the complaint at the other restaurant) but then eating it saying it has plenty.

He says it's better to stack it with the meat on top so that you can see what you're paying for. What fucking logic is that???

If he were really the foodie he claimed to be he would know that fresh veggies should be stacked on top of hot meat rather than underneath it to stop it from wilting as quickly.

He judged the other place for having pitas devoid of meat without even ordering one where they probably followed the correct preparation.

And do I even need to say it... PITAS ARE NOT KETO!

I'm late, sorry, but yes. Jack's not impressed with anything else except his salmonella chicken and maggot bison. If they put the meat on top, he'd complain about the veggies being soggy and now he complained about not seeing the meat. JFC.

I absolutely love Greek food so I just find it hilarious that Jack's so impressed by a simple feta/greek/mediterranean style salad. When you don't drench your salad in a cup of thousand island, it has actual flavors especially a simple greek style dressing that they had (oil, vinegar, herbs) is perfect with a fresh salad and compliments it.

I wish Jack would bring his stroked arm to Europe. He wouldn't survive a day.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Eh, a mayo cake sounds worse than it is. Mayo is 99% oil + eggs. Cakes are flour + sugar + oil + eggs.

And vinegar or another acid. Usually cheap white vinegar. Fancy brands sometimes contain mustard, a variety of wines or spirits for flavor, herbs, spices, etc. Not exactly something I would want in a cake.

 

[AnOminous]

He's using $800 cookware because he read (presumably on Facebook) that teflon is poison that leeches into your food when you use non-stick pans.

Fuck that fat bastard. Get Revere Ware. That is the true shit.

 

[Damaged Goods]

And vinegar or another acid. Usually cheap white vinegar. Fancy brands sometimes contain mustard, a variety of wines or spirits for flavor, herbs, spices, etc. Not exactly something I would want in a cake.

Vinegar is a very common ingredient in baked goods and so is citric acid. But yeah, you want plain regular mayo if you're going to use it in a cake.

 

[AnOminous]

Vinegar is a very common ingredient in baked goods and so is citric acid. But yeah, you want plain regular mayo if you're going to use it in a cake.

Or cream of tartar.

Mayo is just a weird ingredient. It just always reminds me of this meme.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=5DXgTztK4zY
He's using $800 cookware because he read (presumably on Facebook) that teflon is poison that leeches into your food when you use non-stick pans.
He seems to think MultiClad (a Cuisinart brand) is some designation that is better than All Clad and is falling for the marketing that the more layers of steel in the bottom of a pan means it's better. Says it's the best cookware set, immediately after unboxing, before ever using it. Shill. Good thing he never cooks off camera, stainless steel sticks really well if you don't know what you're doing.
Not sure if he's getting this free or not, he says he called them up and wanted to "bring your cookware onto the show" which kinda insinuates he got it free. Then says he might keep it permanently after a year.

View attachment 819097
Brand new $800 cookware, first dish Jack makes in it? Frozen chicken thighs with salt, pepper, garlic and powdered chili peppers.
I have no fucking idea why it looks like that, those are the only ingredients he said he added. He mentioned "mushroom flavor" at the end so I guess he added some cream of mushroom.
Doesn't show clean up, doesn't show if the chicken stuck. He coulda cooked this in a foil lined ceramic bowl for all we know.
God damn that's a lot of food for 3 people. I counted about 12 chicken thighs.

Bonus footage. Enjoy Jack's dead arm dragging across the box:

Everything Jack cooks is a failure. I don't understand how he can be this terrible. That's not even how you cook what he is cooking. You'd use a dutch oven, casserole dish, or even a crockpot and you would do maybe four thighs at a time. What he has created here is salmonella stew and it appears that he just dumps the liquid. Why does he do this?

Also, the endless shilling. I know he buys this stuff so he can link it and hope that someone buys it through his link generating some cash but who would do that? I can't imagine someone watching Jack cook and think I want to do that too. I am curious if we'll ever see the knives/cookware again. He seems like the kind of scumbag to buy equipment to do the video and then send it back(like his tech channel). Obviously he doesn't do that with grills.

Either that or he is like someone who won't take the time to learn how to play guitar but constantly buys new gear thinking it will fool people into thinking he can play. This is my new Les Paul! It cost me $2500. Listen to me play Smoke on the Water.

I know this is a little spergy but I take cooking very seriously and it really insults me to see someone who disrespects every aspect of the process from both the preparation and consuming side.

Oh, look, new burger wars video is up. I won't steal the thunder of the people who usually post his vids but once again Jack stretches a two minute video into almost eleven minutes.

Okay maybe I'll steal a little thunder. Jack asks his friend if he can tie a cherry stem in a knot proving once again that Jack is totally not a homosexual.



For a second I thought I was watching Dark Crystal and is this guy low key filming Jack and his friends?



Tammy's watch seems to detect the influx of fat coursing through her ham-limbs.




There's a very special moment around 6:37 where Jack simulates giving a blowjob to his milkshake while people pretend they can't see him.



I know there are people in this thread who are far better at breaking Jack's videos down so I'll leave it at that but here's the link:

 

[Aaway]

well that was a total snoozefest. i thought it was going to be the episode where one of them had to go to the hospital

also, jack mentions at the end that he ate a better burger at mcdonalds earlier in the day. so i guess having 3 burgers in one day just wasn't enough to fill him up so he had to grab a 4th burger from mcdonalds

 

[Gladatha]

Everything Jack cooks is a failure. I don't understand how he can be this terrible. That's not even how you cook what he is cooking. You'd use a dutch oven, casserole dish, or even a crockpot and you would do maybe four thighs at a time. What he has created here is salmonella stew and it appears that he just dumps the liquid. Why does he do this?

Also, the endless shilling. I know he buys this stuff so he can link it and hope that someone buys it through his link generating some cash but who would do that? I can't imagine someone watching Jack cook and think I want to do that too. I am curious if we'll ever see the knives/cookware again. He seems like the kind of scumbag to buy equipment to do the video and then send it back(like his tech channel). Obviously he doesn't do that with grills.

Either that or he is like someone who won't take the time to learn how to play guitar but constantly buys new gear thinking it will fool people into thinking he can play. This is my new Les Paul! It cost me $2500. Listen to me play Smoke on the Water.

I know this is a little spergy but I take cooking very seriously and it really insults me to see someone who disrespects every aspect of the process from both the preparation and consuming side.

Oh, look, new burger wars video is up. I won't steal the thunder of the people who usually post his vids but once again Jack stretches a two minute video into almost eleven minutes.

Okay maybe I'll steal a little thunder. Jack asks his friend if he can tie a cherry stem in a knot proving once again that Jack is totally not a homosexual.

View attachment 820474

For a second I thought I was watching Dark Crystal and is this guy low key filming Jack and his friends?

View attachment 820477

Tammy's watch seems to detect the influx of fat coursing through her ham-limbs.

View attachment 820479


There's a very special moment around 6:37 where Jack simulates giving a blowjob to his milkshake while people pretend they can't see him.

View attachment 820483

I know there are people in this thread who are far better at breaking Jack's videos down so I'll leave it at that but here's the link:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=SXPopILgc2c

Ugh... it really was boring.

The high point was the sudden burst of anger and energy about them closing in 15 minutes only to realise that it is the closing time on a Thursday. They also took their sweet time while they were in there. They are the type people who come at closing, hang out for an hour and stiff you on the tip.

Jack also mentions that the McDonald's he had earlier was more satisfying than this... so you were supplementing your diet with unmentioned burgers so no one knows how fat and greedy you really are?

How disgusting!

 

[Aaway]

jack says he's going to move his saturday life chat to a later time because his only viewer told him it was too early. then proceeds to badly butcher the one person's name who commented.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

Ugh... it really was boring.

The high point was the sudden burst of anger and energy about them closing in 15 minutes only to realise that it is the closing time on a Thursday. They also took their sweet time while they were in there. They are the type people who come at closing, hang out for an hour and stiff you on the tip.

Jack also mentions that the McDonald's he had earlier was more satisfying than this... so you were supplementing your diet with unmentioned burgers so no one knows how fat and greedy you really are?

How disgusting!

As always Jack's attention to detail shines through in the ratings. Spelling aside the audacity of this dude rating how anyone else cooks meat is unreal.

@Aaway Jack's having a tough time with that eye and is that slurring I detect? Did Jack have another stroke that he isn't talking about?

 

[captkrisma]

Lol at the 9 for milkshakes. The past three places didn't even serve them, so the first place that does automatically gets high scores. Fuck off.

 

[Gladatha]

well that was a total snoozefest. i thought it was going to be the episode where one of them had to go to the hospital

also, jack mentions at the end that he ate a better burger at mcdonalds earlier in the day. so i guess having 3 burgers in one day just wasn't enough to fill him up so he had to grab a 4th burger from mcdonalds

Didn't they also have Whataburger? That brings them up to 5.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Everything Jack cooks is a failure. I don't understand how he can be this terrible. That's not even how you cook what he is cooking. You'd use a dutch oven, casserole dish, or even a crockpot and you would do maybe four thighs at a time. What he has created here is salmonella stew and it appears that he just dumps the liquid. Why does he do this?

Also, the endless shilling. I know he buys this stuff so he can link it and hope that someone buys it through his link generating some cash but who would do that? I can't imagine someone watching Jack cook and think I want to do that too. I am curious if we'll ever see the knives/cookware again. He seems like the kind of scumbag to buy equipment to do the video and then send it back(like his tech channel). Obviously he doesn't do that with grills.

Either that or he is like someone who won't take the time to learn how to play guitar but constantly buys new gear thinking it will fool people into thinking he can play. This is my new Les Paul! It cost me $2500. Listen to me play Smoke on the Water.

I know this is a little spergy but I take cooking very seriously and it really insults me to see someone who disrespects every aspect of the process from both the preparation and consuming side.

Oh, look, new burger wars video is up. I won't steal the thunder of the people who usually post his vids but once again Jack stretches a two minute video into almost eleven minutes.

Okay maybe I'll steal a little thunder. Jack asks his friend if he can tie a cherry stem in a knot proving once again that Jack is totally not a homosexual.

View attachment 820474

For a second I thought I was watching Dark Crystal and is this guy low key filming Jack and his friends?

View attachment 820477

Tammy's watch seems to detect the influx of fat coursing through her ham-limbs.

View attachment 820479


There's a very special moment around 6:37 where Jack simulates giving a blowjob to his milkshake while people pretend they can't see him.

View attachment 820483

I know there are people in this thread who are far better at breaking Jack's videos down so I'll leave it at that but here's the link:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=SXPopILgc2c

Here’s to the civilians that were caught in the crosshairs.