💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
"life chat" lol

got nothing to do so i'll take a stab at this

0:41: awkward throat clearing
1:50: "so everyone's been talking about burger wars." lol sorry jack but no one's talking about burger wars
2:55: "one of us had to go to the hospital and you'll see on one of the burger wars episodes who it was and why." hmmmm i'm gonna take a wild guess and say it was jack
4:18: sneeze
5:40: jack says he penalized certain places if they didn't have milkshakes. much like how he did the same on his bbq tour when places didn't have certain sides.
6:06: jack talks about how there were some burger places that had amazing food but got "big fat zeros" because they didn't have shakes. awesome scoring system you got there jack
7:00: more throat clearing
9:05: "a lot of you think i have a crew of people." lols no jack we know its 100% you shoving your camera in people's faces while they eat
13:55: jack talks about how he's been dealing with a great deal of foot pain lately but that tammy bought him some magical shoe inserts that suddenly got rid of all the pain. says he'll do a video on it
18:30: jack starts giving fishing advice. oh please
19:10: "one of our goals on fish hook is to get more women involved." i think jack and charles should actually post some fishing videos first. that channel is basically jack on the go 2.0
27:10: "we're gonna do a gross recipe contest." jack wants people to send him gross recipes but they have to be delicious. say what?
36:26: jack gets into his usual BS about how if you have anything to say you can reach him on social media. "i read all your comments, well some of you i have to ban."
 
Wonder if they will follow this up on the Eye to Eye channel with a compelling discussion of whether filming worms mating counts as pornography.
 
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LOL leave it to jack to turn the process of: scrub pan -> give it a generous gloping of beef lard -> get it hot in the oven to open up the pores of the metal; into a god damn ordeal.

The Cooking with Jack way is to basically take easy shit and try and do it the "lazy man's" way that's almost inevitably harder than just doing shit right.
 
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"life chat" lol

got nothing to do so i'll take a stab at this
https://youtube.com/watch?v=77aWG_RYkHw
0:41: awkward throat clearing
1:50: "so everyone's been talking about burger wars." lol sorry jack but no one's talking about burger wars
2:55: "one of us had to go to the hospital and you'll see on one of the burger wars episodes who it was and why." hmmmm i'm gonna take a wild guess and say it was jack
4:18: sneeze
5:40: jack says he penalized certain places if they didn't have milkshakes. much like how he did the same on his bbq tour when places didn't have certain sides.
6:06: jack talks about how there were some burger places that had amazing food but got "big fat zeros" because they didn't have shakes. awesome scoring system you got there jack
7:00: more throat clearing
9:05: "a lot of you think i have a crew of people." lols no jack we know its 100% you shoving your camera in people's faces while they eat
13:55: jack talks about how he's been dealing with a great deal of foot pain lately but that tammy bought him some magical shoe inserts that suddenly got rid of all the pain. says he'll do a video on it
18:30: jack starts giving fishing advice. oh please
19:10: "one of our goals on fish hook is to get more women involved." i think jack and charles should actually post some fishing videos first. that channel is basically jack on the go 2.0
27:10: "we're gonna do a gross recipe contest." jack wants people to send him gross recipes but they have to be delicious. say what?
36:26: jack gets into his usual BS about how if you have anything to say you can reach him on social media. "i read all your comments, well some of you i have to ban."

10:29 "I don't use boobie maker"
 
Well, gents today is the big day. Will this be the day the good lord calls Jack home?
Sadly probably not, given they went to the hospital earlier this week.

As for Burger Wars, Stroked-Out Jack probably added in fries and shakes as a way to subtly shit on restaurants that offend him due to him being a petty asshole. Plus he's a gluttonous goober obsessed with food, so of course he'd be pissed if he didn't have his salty fries with his burger. In reality these are the only qualifiers that matter:
  • Bun quality
  • Meat quality
  • Topping variety
  • Topping quality
  • Appearance
  • Value
  • Overall Flavor
All with explanations on why in this case by the way.

Hilariously a better idea for "Burger Wars" that got brought up in a group I was on is to do a big Youtuber cook-off where each entrant makes a burger of their choice with the following requirements:
  • Must have a ground meat
  • Must have a bun
  • Must have some form of cheese
  • Must have at least two toppings
  • Must have a side order
You'd have hilarity and the potential for YT Red out of this one.
 
Does anybody know what this is about?

803110
 

lmao what a fucking treasure trove of classic Jack.

>makes open spectacle of himself on the "bad" side of town
>triggered by Obama poster sighting inside the premises
>chimps out at his friend for eating gravy the wrong way (both these faggots are using forks, might as well mop with a fucking cornhusk broom)
>smears butter on the waffles like a crack dealer smearing his cum on the face of a girl who can't pay for her fix
>gets way too turned on by pouring the fucking syrup....jesus christ he ruins all the "work" he did with the butter
>dissects the chicken in a way reminiscent of autistic japanese medical porn with closeups/interior shots of body cavities
>far more dynamic emotional affect when he is in the company of other men :gay:
 

oh man this is a classic jack gem

nothing like a guy from suburban orange county going to LA and pretending to get chased in the street. also, lol @ his friend saying "check your wallet" once they arrive at the restaurant and claiming that the obama poster is making him second guess eating there.

not sure what that comment about him saying the n-word is referring to though
 
Jack is what I imagine DSP will look like in ten years. Gout ridden fat sacks of shit waiting for death by coronary.

That said, holy shit at the Roscoe's vid. I'm surprised he didn't get shot.
Bugged Keto dude, I didn't fail the diet, I never failed the diet.

Jack at least has a pay pig (and I mean pig in all it's fashions) in his wife while DSP has to fund his wife plus himself. Jack has a stable roof over his head and unlimited junk food budget for his "brand" out of Tammy, DSP on the other hand, well ... "snorts in begging" Granted we might see it change after the next stroke and Jack's medical bills start coming up.
 
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