E3 2019 / 2020 - 2020 Update - Dear God, they're going to make it worse.

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Who is your E3 2019 husbando? (multiple choice allowed because we know you're a bunch of WHORES.)

  • Phil Spencer from Microsoft - so dreamy how he always looks like he's staring directly into the sun.

    Votes: 25 9.4%
  • Bethesda's Todd Howard - tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.

    Votes: 122 45.7%
  • Devolver Digital, because I love being berated for half and hour and left bleeding in an alley.

    Votes: 58 21.7%
  • Ubisoft's Neverending, LSD-Fueled, Furry Orgy. I have no shame, bend me over Magenta Panda Daddy.

    Votes: 19 7.1%
  • Sqaure Enix and... who even presents this? Eh, doesn't matter. It'll probably be 90% recycled anyway

    Votes: 24 9.0%
  • Nintendo's Doug Bowser - because I need more Bowser/Bowsette memes in my life. Kill me.

    Votes: 110 41.2%
  • PC Gaming Show - forget the presenter, those new video cards GET. ME. SO. HARD!!!

    Votes: 33 12.4%
  • Not sure who is presenting E3VR, but if it's not Ugandan Knuckles, then this is a waste of time.

    Votes: 63 23.6%

  • Total voters
    267
"When you play Ubisoft games, we hope you'll spend more time with friends and family and meet new, inspiring people"

-the company that famously makes enormous single player sandboxes
 
Is this a sequel to Rollerball?
It looks like Rollerball meets Overwatch. I hope it will have Jean Reno and Paul Hayman because I've already been deprived of dragons in Wolfenstein.
 
I don't like pitbulls but I felt bad for this dog.
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Oh, that's all? Pretty abrupt ending. Time for the embarrassing celebrity showdown, I guess.
 
Literally all thats left is for square enix and nintendo to save us.... notice both are japanese.
 
Well that was an... odd way to end the show.

"Oh look at this new and fanciful game we've been working on for four yea--WHO LIKES RAINBOW SIX SIEGE?!!"
 
So since this is wrapping up, are all these E3 conferences so terrible, long, and boring? I almost always just watch Nintendo's all the way and no one else's. Nintendo's is usually at least fairly okay because it doesn't waste my fucking time for 1-2 hours with a bunch of random people talking about nothing.
 
I really get the sense from this E3 overall that everyone's holding back their best content for the PS5 generation. This one was... lightweight. Bethesda shitting the bed was funny. Ubisoft was status quo and nothing more.

I guess next year might be better, if they announce the PS5 and Xbox Faggot? We'll see.
 
I expected the lispy nigger guy to start rapping an awful, cringy Ubisoft-related song to end this and they didn't deliver.

Faggots.
 
So since this is wrapping up, are all these E3 conferences so terrible, long, and boring? I almost always just watch Nintendo's all the way and no one else's. Nintendo's is usually at least fairly okay because it doesn't waste my fucking time for 1-2 hours with a bunch of random people talking about nothing.
Yes, ever since motion controls died. E3 is only really good when it's a shitshow, so you can imagine how the late 2000's-early 2010's were crazy.

And here's the Konami 2010 conference, the apex of E3:
 
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