💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
guy who has suffered two strokes, kidney stones, and lost the function in his arm is going on a week-long road trip eating nothing but burgers and fries

yeah sounds like a great idea
 
Pre-stroke Jack doing his best impression of what will soon be three-stroke Jack.

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Aaway said:
guy who has suffered two strokes, kidney stones, and lost the function in his arm is going on a week-long road trip eating nothing but burgers and fries

yeah sounds like a great idea
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Jack could be the basis for an entire medical documentary called "This is what you shouldn't do after having a stroke".

Because my god, he has done literally everything you shouldn't do after you managed to survive not one, but two strokes. I don't understand how he hasn't already died, especially since he is still relatively close to when he had a stroke.
 
LordofCringe7206 said:
Jack could be the basis for an entire medical documentary called "This is what you shouldn't do after having a stroke".

Because my god, he has done literally everything you shouldn't do after you managed to survive not one, but two strokes. I don't understand how he hasn't already died, especially since he is still relatively close to when he had a stroke.
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He works pretty well as a cautionary tale in general. Just have him talk about his life at seminars while the projector behind him flashes "whatever this man says you do the opposite" in 50 point, bold, red font. You could repurpose all those WWJD bracelets to relate to Jack and scare kids into clean, healthy living in ways no Bible can.
 
We have a man who ate five cheeseburgers and fries in a day within a year of having his second stroke. Every resource that I've pulled (Havard Medical, Cleveland Clinic, National Stroke Association) has said that saturated fats and high fat meats CAUSE strokes. They recommend eating lean meats like turkey or ham if you HAVE to eat meat.

Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
 
captkrisma said:
Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
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"Delicious" 🤔

On a serious note, what the people who use YOLO as an excuse to engage in self-destructive behavior don't realize is that death isn't the only consequence of their habits. It's not a matter of choosing a slightly shorter lifespan over a lifetime of deprivation. If Jack has a third stroke, or suffers whatever other major health complication, it's not guaranteed to kill him. It's very likely to leave him crippled though. He already lost the use of his right arm and based on how he sometimes slurs his words he must be more impaired than he admits to. But he still refuses to renounce his gluttonous ways and even dismisses proven scientific nutritional facts as vegan propaganda or equally ridiculous bullshit.

He thinks he knows what he's doing but if he had any sense at all he should be praying that the next stroke takes him out because the alternative might be grim beyond his wildest imagination. I sure hope these really cool tours filled with dainty bites of burger, spoonfuls of keto-friendly mayo, and tiny sips of milkshake will be worth it when you're paralyzed and unable to take care of yourself, drooling in your wheelchair in front of a TV for the rest of your existence, Jack :optimistic:
 
Damaged Goods said:
when you're paralyzed and unable to take care of yourself, drooling in your wheelchair in front of a TV for the rest of your existence, Jack :optimistic:
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Honestly I bet that sounds like heaven to him for the most part, with the only thing being a problem being that damn inability to just hork down the whole hoagie with no arms or mouth control anymore being a detriment to him.
 
Adamska said:
Honestly I bet that sounds like heaven to him for the most part, with the only thing being a problem being that damn inability to just hork down the whole hoagie with no arms or mouth control anymore being a detriment to him.
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Jack's ability to unhinge his jaw like a snake to garble down food shows us that no disability will keep him down. So brave.
 
captkrisma said:
We have a man who ate five cheeseburgers and fries in a day within a year of having his second stroke. Every resource that I've pulled (Havard Medical, Cleveland Clinic, National Stroke Association) has said that saturated fats and high fat meats CAUSE strokes. They recommend eating lean meats like turkey or ham if you HAVE to eat meat.

Jack's trying to go out on his own terms, eating delicious meats.
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shhhh don't tell jack

he's adamant that his second stroke was caused by nothing more than high blood pressure (and that his first was because he was tired and was drinking energy drinks) because eating like shit, being obese, not exercising, and suffering from diabetes aren't all risk factors for high blood pressure
 
Aaway said:
he's adamant that his second stroke was caused by nothing more than high blood pressure
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Nah he blames sugar for his second stroke. That's why he did fake-keto for a while and went to sam's club, pointed at some desserts and said "You did this to me" or something.
He's blamed sugar and caffeine for his strokes because it's easy to blame them than it is to blame his his overall poor diet and lack of exercise.
 
Eh...Jack's Suicide By Burger tour takes him up north to Knoxville today at The Burgers. This place has essentially everything that Jack would go nuts for...fried seafood, pork belly, double cheeseburgers with mayo and bacon...God help him.
 
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