The Cole Smithey Thread

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Syaoran Li said:
Meh, I get the feeling why Bob's kids became estranged from him had a lot less to do with him and almost everything to do with Barb (and possibly Chris after he achieved internet infamy)

Barb's family explicitly hate her because of her horrible personality and backstabbing ways, so I wouldn't be surprised if Bob's kids had the same sentiments and avoided Barb at all costs, even if they still liked Bob.

The only one of Chris's siblings who we can definitely confirm as hating Bob is Cole.

Cole hates Bob, but Cole is also a notorious douchebag and mainly hates Chris out of a mix of projected hatred towards Barb and envy over the fact that Chris is a legend in internet culture (especially after PewDiePie and other mainstream e-celebs started talking about him) while he's pretty much a "literally who?" figure among anyone who isn't closely following Chris's antics.

Cole's only claims to fame or notoriety are the fact he's Chris's brother and for being the asshole hipster that gave Toy Story 3 a bad review.

We know next to nothing at all about Carol Chandler other than she has a government job somewhere, and David Chandler was already leaving the nest by the time Barb entered the picture and was likely in college and working on his professional life when Chris was a kid.

Notably, Dave Chandler did show up to Bob's funeral, so he couldn't have hated his father that much. Carol didn't show up, but she has a government job and we don't even know if she lives in the same state as the Chandlers. It may have been possible she wanted to say her goodbyes but couldn't due to distance or some other unknown factor.

Honestly, Barb is the main reason why Chris is so fucked up as a person and has no real family support to speak of.

Don't get me wrong, Bob was a shitty parent too, but his parental failings stemmed mostly a mix of from incompetence and old age while Barb was more directly malevolent and abusive.

Bob at least tried up to a point, while Barb only cared about herself and the hoard.
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Outside of the trolling, notice how everything went to shit for Chris once he died? Ends up in court multiple times, troons out, house fire, constant money problems... So on and so forth.
 
8777BB5 said:
Something I've always wondered is where did Cole go when he moved out at 17? He wouldn't be able to go to University of San Diego until the next year, the Rocking Dogs weren't yet formed so he couldn't stay with them and it couldn't have been anyone locally because I have a feeling Chris would've let slip about Cole staying with someone locally. Did he just drive out to California in his car and stay in Section 8 housing or did he know someone already there and stay with them? Or did he spend his time as a barely legal sexy buddy for some old Hollywood socialite?
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he was a street punk rocker kid.
 
8777BB5 said:
Something I've always wondered is where did Cole go when he moved out at 17? He wouldn't be able to go to University of San Diego until the next year, the Rocking Dogs weren't yet formed so he couldn't stay with them and it couldn't have been anyone locally because I have a feeling Chris would've let slip about Cole staying with someone locally. Did he just drive out to California in his car and stay in Section 8 housing or did he know someone already there and stay with them? Or did he spend his time as a barely legal sexy buddy for some old Hollywood socialite?
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Like the Weston men do when they hit skid row, he'd have worked his hustle.
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With the ladies only, of course.
 
praktica said:
Like the Weston men do when they hit skid row, he'd have worked his hustle.
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With the ladies only, of course.
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Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried. Granted he wouldn't be banging 10s, but he could probably fuck chicks like Lagoona Blue, which would probably be far more than he could have ever scored by being himself. They share some common interests and are both utter autists, so it could have worked. And with Chris' penchant for e-begging he could likely scrounge up enough to afford to get her a ticket over here to bang him. She might even have been able to keep him more grounded than he is now.

But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet, ruined his sex drive with tiddy pills, never took care of himself physically or mentally and fell screaming into insanity where he once used to be gently drifting on the winds of tism.

It could have been yours, Chris. A somewhat normal life.... or as normal as you could ever have hoped for.
 
ExceptionallyExceptional said:
Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried. Granted he wouldn't be banging 10s, but he could probably fuck chicks like Lagoona Blue, which would probably be far more than he could have ever scored by being himself. They share some common interests and are both utter autists, so it could have worked. And with Chris' penchant for e-begging he could likely scrounge up enough to afford to get her a ticket over here to bang him. She might even have been able to keep him more grounded than he is now.

But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet, ruined his sex drive with tiddy pills, never took care of himself physically or mentally and fell screaming into insanity where he once used to be gently drifting on the winds of tism.

It could have been yours, Chris. A somewhat normal life.... or as normal as you could ever have hoped for.
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A beating as a teenager would have sorted him out too.
 

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Cole Smithey said:
I'll never forget seeing the outline of the Rockin' Dogs demo in Lou's pocket. I'm sure he listened to it at least once.
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Yeah, no buddy. I'm sure it went in the garbage can as soon as he got off stage. People do that shit all the time to folks in the entertainment industry (everybody's got a script or a demo), these guys are used to it. Reed just picked it up to be polite.
 
ExceptionallyExceptional said:
Holy shit, Chris actually looks like a normal dude there. He should have kept THAT up at least. He might be a sperg but this way he at least looks like someone who could find a girlfriend if he really tried... But no, instead he listened to assholes on the internet...
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Assholes on the internet are the ones that got him to dress "like a normal dude" there. Left to his own devices, before the internet really discovered him and started messing with him, he looks like this:
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Since he's always being fucked with (and because he's got the tism), I can see why he was unable to determine that he should go with a particular brand of fuckery over the others. Cole is a pretentious ass but he was able to actually get himself a life.
 
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