Law The Mueller Report

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The Mueller Report
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Well, it looks like we finally made it to the end of the line. To everyone who thought the Mueller report would drag on indefinitely: Take a sigh of relief. To everyone who thought the Mueller report would wind up resulting in impeachment proceedings: Sorry to disappoint, but that was never going to happen in the first place. In any event, we've made it to the end and somehow managed to avoid setting the country completely on fire, so that alone is worth a drink.

Seeing as how this is going to be THE most-spun political document since the fucking Clinton impeachment hearings, I'm not going to link to any articles about it. I don't care who has to say what about the Mueller report, be it FOX, MSNBC, CNN, or even smaller outlets like the Epoch Times. Everyone is going to spin this, so all I'm going to do is pore over the report and bring anything interesting to the fore, just like I did with the OIG Report on the Handling of the Clinton Email Investigation.

Yet again: The best advice I can offer is to read this yourself, but I don't expect everyone to do that because it's four-hundred fucking pages long. If you do not see a direct link to the information someone is quoting from this report so you can read the quote yourself, I'd advise disregarding it. If I do not directly quote something from the report and provide an easy way for you to look up the page for yourself, disregard it.

If you need an extremely-abridged TL;DR, I'll include one in the spoiler below. For everyone else: Buckle up, because I'm about to bore your fucking socks off.

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"It won't get released because Trump is scared and he's gonna censor all of it! He's in big trouble now!"

Skimming through the document, all I see is "HOM" and "Harmful to Ongoing Matters"- removals for shit that if it got out, things could go belly up immediately, and "Personal Privacy", which is keeping innocent people safe. Not a single "REDACTED BY DONALD J TRUMP". A lot of names are still visible, even.

Where's your smoking gun now, dumbfucks? The whole report is here, and it isn't headlined with "HE COLLUDED" like you thought it was. Get fucked. Maybe don't put all your eggs in one basket next time.
 
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This alone is going to be the underlying point that most people will want to see. The first few pages are covering how the Russians did attempt to interfere with the election (which we already knew), but that there was no tacit, explicit attempt to coordinate any interference they were causing with the Trump campaign. (Pg. 1 & Pg. 5)

Considering that at the time Hillary was practically screaming about how she wanted to start a war with Russia if she was elected, I can't possibly imagine why Russia would have seen a Trump presidency as a more desirable alternative.
 
I'm sure Democrats across the nation will take the results of the report with the upmost tact and humility.
 
Oh goddamn it I was busy making jumba-lentils and missed shit hitting the fan again :(

Ok imma check and see what i missed on twitte...oh my
 
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(Pg. 5 & Pg. 6) Oh man, I really hope there's more stuff in here about Mifsud as we make our way down through it. That guy's been borderline memory-holed by the press over the last year or so, they hate talking about that guy to the point where they were trying to float the idea that he'd actually died.
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(Pg. 7) Thanks, Obama.
 
The true TL; DR is in the conclusion, which is a on-the-fence win for a president, but they still wanna leave more to be discovered:


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They didn't draw any conclusions because they didn't find enough evidence to prove either side of the debate, so they are kind of worrying about this...which is just the nice way of saying "Shit, there's nothing." Basically, "it looks a little weird...but nothing has been proven".
 
- sighs -
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https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/1118882452007718912

At this point the media hysteria over memes and how they hold mystic and world changing powers is quite possibly the single stupidest fucking concept that has EVER been entertained and believed by the mainstream media in world history.

Seriously, point me out a time when media chucklefucks said something more fucktarded than "MAYME MAGIC IS REAL AND DRUMPFF USED IT TO BECOME PRESIDENT AND SMITE HIS ENEMIES!!!" because frankly even fucking north korean propaganda about how the dear leader never shits isnt this bad
 
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(Pg. 13) "Basically we overturned every single fucking rock in the entire world."

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(Pg. 14) Again, something that we've been aware of for quite awhile now, but it's still a good idea to consolidate all of this into one thread as we go down, especially for anyone who hasn't been following along to the autistic extent that some of us have.

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(Pg. 18 ) I love seeing meme shit in official documents.
 
Every twatter lefty is sharing a bit where Trump is saying shit along the lines of "I'm fucked" because of the investigation.

Disregard the fact that anyone who was falsely accused would have the same reaction, to them it's just admission of guilt, because everyone takes news of being accused of treason so well.
 
So Mueller found fucking nothing during two years of investigation with the latest and greatest techniques? In that case I guess it’s
 
Clop said:
Every twatter lefty is sharing a bit where Trump is saying shit along the lines of "I'm fucked" because of the investigation.

Disregard the fact that anyone who was falsely accused would have the same reaction, to them it's just admission of guilt, because everyone takes news of being accused of treason so well.
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Isn't the "I'm fucked" line taken from somebody's written note? That doesn't even seem like prominent evidence of the meeting.

I would certainly understand it, though, given that this investigation has obstructed a lot of presidential progress.
 
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(Pg. 48 & Pg. 49) For what it's worth, I actually no longer believe that Seth Rich was murdered because of something he was doing with the DNC and the theft and release of those leaked files. It's not widely reported on, but the police were on-scene within one minute of the shooting, and he was still alive and talking at the time. He didn't die until later that evening, and he made no efforts at all to mention anything to the police about his attacker doing anything but trying to mug him.

The reason that the attacker never took anything off of Seth Rich is because as soon as he fired the gun it was picked up by an automatic gunfire locator, sirens kicked off, and he sprinted away. People have since spun that into a million different theories and practically lionized Seth Rich--myself included at one point-- but once you start digging deeper into the attack, it's pretty obvious that there's nothing there, and he more than likely wasn't the source for the DNC leaks in the first place.

I know it's an anti-climactic end to the Seth Rich story, but it genuinely never went anywhere.

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(Pg. 36) In reality, this is almost assuredly where all of the DNC leaks came from: A large and comprehensive hacking and phishing campaign launched by the GRU.
 
So basically the Trump campaign knew that Russia was fucking around with the elections - as anyone with half a brain would know - and decided they could capitalize on it, while Russia decided that a Trump presidency was way better than an economic war with Hillary?

Yeah wow, how terrible. eye fucking roll.
 
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