- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I wonder how their children feel about that. I am guessing not good. But the husband doesn't care because he's a selfish piece of shit who only wants to get his dick wet
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That makes a lot of sense actually, it would definitely explain Onision.Is it just me or is it that all these Poly relationships are a wet dream for BPD psychos?
It’s got everything a BPD Psycho would want:
•Endless attention
•Lots of drama
•Plenty of opportunities for manipulation
No wonder Borderlines are attracted to this shit
Edit:
View attachment 657604
Good god, I was just fucking joking.
Is it just me or is it that all these Poly relationships are a wet dream for BPD psychos?
It’s got everything a BPD Psycho would want:
•Endless attention
•Lots of drama
•Plenty of opportunities for manipulation
No wonder Borderlines are attracted to this shit
Mmhmm, polyamory seems to be a hotbed for people with borderline. I don't mean to be an armchair psychologist, but after reading through some posts on the subreddit and on here, a lot of people who get involved with this shit show classic signs of BPD. No doubt a lot of them are just abusive assholes, but when I see people who're 30+ addicted to the drama and instability that polyamorous relationships are infamous for, it's not difficult to think that they could be borderline.
If you’re trying to use Google try using DuckDuckGo or something, Google is built to give you biased search results. If you’re already doing that then maybe the problem (clarification: polyamory) is worse than I previously thought.I'm trying to look that up, but all I'm getting for search results is a bunch of fluffy bullshit about how monogamy is so first-century and the future belongs to the sluts.
They may also have suffered from childhood narcissistic abuse or abuse by borderlines themselves, to be perfectly fair. Having an absolutely crap set of examples when you're forming your ideas of how people should or shouldn't be toward one another can impact how one acts out one's own relationships.
Side thought: I wonder how much overlap there is between polyamorous nutbars and children whose parents were adulterers, "serial monogamists", out-of-wedlock parents, or multiple divorcees. I'm trying to look that up, but all I'm getting for search results is a bunch of fluffy bullshit about how monogamy is so first-century and the future belongs to the sluts.
It’s possible the term “serial monogamy” is only used by polyweirdos so searching for that skews results. Other people just say “normal.”If you’re trying to use Google try using DuckDuckGo or something, Google is built to give you biased search results. If you’re already doing that then maybe the problem (clarification: polyamory) is worse than I previously thought.
a serial monogamist is someone who can't be out of a relationship for any length of time. i think it's something like the "branch/vine swinging" manosphere types talk about (broken clocks)It’s possible the term “serial monogamy” is only used by polyweirdos so searching for that skews results. Other people just say “normal.”
Than I guess using the term “monogamy” unironically when most people say husband/wife/partner. Excellent flag for who to avoid.a serial monogamist is someone who can't be out of a relationship for any length of time. i think it's something like the "branch/vine swinging" manosphere types talk about (broken clocks)
I knew a poly person I hung out with a few times (enby, of course) who’s parents were poly. She had 2 moms and a dad, and her house was kind of a pigsty, but in my defense, her boobs are amazing.They may also have suffered from childhood narcissistic abuse or abuse by borderlines themselves, to be perfectly fair. Having an absolutely crap set of examples when you're forming your ideas of how people should or shouldn't be toward one another can impact how one acts out one's own relationships.
Side thought: I wonder how much overlap there is between polyamorous nutbars and children whose parents were adulterers, "serial monogamists", out-of-wedlock parents, or multiple divorcees. I'm trying to look that up, but all I'm getting for search results is a bunch of fluffy bullshit about how monogamy is so first-century and the future belongs to the sluts.
It’s possible the term “serial monogamy” is only used by polyweirdos so searching for that skews results. Other people just say “normal.”
We have been non-monogamous trending to poly for 15 years, but generally private about it. I threw a birthday party for my wife Saturday. Her bf was there and about 20 of our closest friends; some knew and some didn’t. She introduced him as her bf and everyone was great. At the end of the night, everyone left except him. The two of them slept in the guest room together while I went to bed in our room. In the morning, they had sex and she came in to see me afterwards. We made each other orgasm and she went back to cuddle with him. After we all got up, the three of us made breakfast and ate together. It was perfect.
I think my wife is still floating and I’m proud to say I was able to do it with minimal jealousy. I’m glad she feels the way she does about him and that our friends know. Looking forward to them meeting my gf now and hoping he’s more comfortable being around us now.
My wife met her bf three months ago. They have been intensely involved ever since, spending the night together once a week. They have said ILY and she wants more time with him. I'm freaking out, but I don't know why or what to do about it.
We have been married 25y, open 15y. We have rarely done overnights until she met him. She mostly would meet a guy, have sex, and their relationship was focused on sex with not a lot of emotional connection from them. She would have a crush and want more, but they didn't. This guy is different.
Here's the thing: I am not jealous of him. I like him, he's very respectful of me and I don't ever feel like putting him down. I know she likes him because he's half her age. I don't want to be him. I don't get jealous of the sex - it's actually a turn on for me, which feels fortunate because I know a lot of people here have a hard time with that. I don't get jealous that she loves him and that he probably loves her - I do believe that a person can love multiple people.
My issue seems to be more about how she feels about me and it has brought up trust issues with me that create this fear and anxiety. I simply don't believe that she isn't fantasizing about a life with him. She wants more time, they are in love, she says she "can't help herself" and that he is a "powerful pull". Rationally, I can understand why. However, I get panic attacks and can't settle my emotions. It is my first thought upon waking up - "she doesn't want me anymore". I'm constantly looking for confirmation that's not true. I'm obsessed with what she is feeling, saying to friends, writing in her journal, texting to him, etc. I've never been this way. (I've never violated her privacy, to be clear, and I never would. But, it doesn't stop me from thinking about those things.)
I am in therapy. I have offered to give her more time as long as I have some notice so that, if I want, I can plan something myself. We hung out together on New Year's Eve. I invited him to her birthday party and we introduced him to our friends. We hung out and watched the Super Bowl together recently. I offered to even have him join us on a vacation we are taking to Singapore next month! She spends our money on gifts for him and takes him out to dinner and drinking. But, there still is this frustration she seems to have with me that I'm making her feel guilty because of my emotional reactions sometimes. I feel like I have done everything and it still isn't enough.
And I freak out daily. I become beside myself with fear and anxiety about the future and how she feels about me. I haven't been able to work (I'm the sole source of income with a high paying, high stress job). I haven't been able to eat or sleep (I've lost 17% of my body weight). I wake up in the middle of the night with crushing thoughts of them together. My first thought in the morning is fear of losing "us" and anxiety about spending the whole day at work obsessed with these thoughts.
I'm reading books, doing exercises, writing in a journal, reading these posts from you good people, going to therapy. I want the pain to end and I can't stop it. Any ideas are welcome. Please.
Posted earlier about our awesome weekend with her boyfriend introduced to all of our friends and coming out to our daughter. I set up the party for my wife’s birthday, welcomed him to our home, they had sex (her and bf, not the guests!), hung out together. I was totally cool and supportive. Four days later and it’s gone badly again.
Yesterday, she wanted to go see him while I was at work. I was, again, accepting and supportive. She said she’d be home at 5 because I had to leave at 5:30 for an appointment and really wanted to connect before I had to leave. At 4:45, she still had not left to come home (it’s 45 minutes away). As it turned out, she didn’t leave in time to see me. At first, she said she “lost track of time” and “is always late” so I shouldn’t be upset. Later, she admitted she was “deep in conversation about a serious topic” and didn’t want the conversation to end. She assumed I would be understanding.
Then, she told me that while they were talking, he said he was busy Saturday night so she offered to see him Friday instead, which is our standing “date night”. Since he didn’t accept (yet) she didn’t think it mattered and, if he did accept, she figured I wouldn’t mind anyway. She says I should be “flexible”.
All this is making me feel quite insecure. Am I supposed to just always “understand” simply because she’s in NRE? She has no obligation to follow through because her brain is in love? Do I have any rights to set an expectation, like “when you say you’re coming home, come home” or “don’t cancel your date plans with me just because he’s busy without asking me first”? Or am I too rigid and setting expectations too high?
I feel like I’m being gaslighted sometimes. Now, I feel like it’s my fault.
My wife and I have been in an open relationship for most of the last 15 years and married 25 total years. She recently met someone and the relationship has taken off really fast and got really intense.
As some history, she has always been the jealous one and I have not typically been jealous. I also had a number of choices for partners, really none of which she was ever comfortable with. After a lot of self-work, she got to the point she wasn’t (as) jealous and would let me pursue partners, primarily one in particular who we both have known for 4 years. During this time, I have encouraged her to be with other people and have enjoyed the pleasure she got from it. It made our relationship more intense and exciting and the reclamation sex was amazing.
She met this guy 7 weeks ago and has been very distracted. I’ve grown very jealous as their relationship deepened. She says it’s NRE and will probably fade - he’s 26, she’s 57. In the meantime, I’ve struggled with feelings of abandonment and suspicion. Both are new feelings for me. It has made it hard for her to be affectionate with me and made our relationship very contentious with more fighting and hurt feelings than love and fun. She continues to pursue the relationship with him in spite of our own relationship seeming to get harder and harder. She says she has no intention of going anywhere. I would never ask her to choose, but I’m not sure I can do this right now the way things are.
We went out as a group for the first time on NYE, her, him, myself and some other people who knew. She was very affectionate towards him. Although she tried to make sure I wasn’t excluded, it was clear she is smitten with him. At the end of the night, we went to our hotel room and he went home with his friends. I know my wife was disappointed at not being able to spend the night with him.
I’m struggling dealing with my own feelings of jealousy and competition. He’s a nice guy and I trust his feelings for her. What I’m struggling with is her feelings for me. I feel like a second place choice. Maybe not even that.
A couple of years ago, my wife had sex with me and another guy in the same day. She ended up with a painful infection and, since then and for obvious reasons, has not wanted to do that again. As a result, when she has seen her current boyfriend, she doesn’t want to have sex with me soon after.
While I understand the health aspect, I’m searching for how not to feel rejected when she doesn’t want to have sex or not have intercourse. Or wants me to wear a condom so she can be fluid bonded with him.
Any ideas?
Freaky Friday. Incel propaganda was right for once.Came across this one - it's like a piece of art. It's a long one though.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aks3gl/came_out_to_our_friends/ (Archive)
We start with our protagonist, reddit user "tkuck" and him sharing his poly happiness with his family, close friends, reddit, and now (indirectly) kiwi farms. But he's just a man having trying to share a positive success story within his online poly community and what is really so wrong with that? Is it maybe he doesn't use a different username when he posts other things and has been crying out for help constantly? Nah.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/ao68xs/i_cant_get_over_my_fear_and_anxiety/ (Archive)
It turns out, our protagonist is actually falling apart and shines a light on a few things in his life. She's a housewife spending money she doesn't earn on this guy who is half her age and doesn't seem to care that her husband of 25 years is quite explicitly falling apart at the seams over it. In the comments he provides one more info piece that the wife doesn't want him "to scare him (the boyfriend) away". Maybe he's just reading too much into it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/am6xxs/am_i_asking_too_much/ (Archive)
So not only is he falling apart over this but his wife is routinely blowing him off to see this other, younger guy. She goes when he's working, she goes when she feels like it, and now she goes even on his "standing date night". Maybe that's as bad as it gets?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/abvhd3/needing_advice/ (Archive)
Here we get a few more details - primarily that she would restrict who he was able to see (if anyone, at all) during their 15 years of poly time. It was during this time that she would still be jealous/uncomfortable with poly and he still pursued it and suggested that she does the same. It would look like our protagonist may have made his own bed here, so to speak.
Additionally she states that she has no intention of leaving and honestly why would she? This guy is the father to her kids and is basically paying for her to get routinely creampied by a much younger man. She's in an unbelievably great position - it's a hedonist's dream life.
Oh, yeah, creampie confirmed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aduljh/reclamation_sex_rejection/ (Archive)
She doesn't like having frequent sex anymore so she seems to have it primarily with her new partner. When she has sex (infrequently) with the husband she makes him wrap it up so the boyfriend can drop loads inside carefree.
TL;DR - this guy basically was a swinger for 15 years who thought he was poly until his wife (of 25 years) got a semi-serious boyfriend and try as he might to be cool about it, he is having a giant internal meltdown about it. She, after jealously dealing with him swinging with others, seems to refuse to let her new relationship go despite the devastation it seems to be causing her husband. Seemingly any situation where she can blow off her husband for her boyfriend she will do it without a moment's hesitation.
Bonus -
"Reclamation sex". What is this insanity ? You fuck your spouse as a way to get back at her for cucking you ? That's incredibly twisted.Came across this one - it's like a piece of art. It's a long one though.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aks3gl/came_out_to_our_friends/ (Archive)
We start with our protagonist, reddit user "tkuck" and him sharing his poly happiness with his family, close friends, reddit, and now (indirectly) kiwi farms. But he's just a man having trying to share a positive success story within his online poly community and what is really so wrong with that? Is it maybe he doesn't use a different username when he posts other things and has been crying out for help constantly? Nah.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/ao68xs/i_cant_get_over_my_fear_and_anxiety/ (Archive)
It turns out, our protagonist is actually falling apart and shines a light on a few things in his life. She's a housewife spending money she doesn't earn on this guy who is half her age and doesn't seem to care that her husband of 25 years is quite explicitly falling apart at the seams over it. In the comments he provides one more info piece that the wife doesn't want him "to scare him (the boyfriend) away". Maybe he's just reading too much into it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/am6xxs/am_i_asking_too_much/ (Archive)
So not only is he falling apart over this but his wife is routinely blowing him off to see this other, younger guy. She goes when he's working, she goes when she feels like it, and now she goes even on his "standing date night". Maybe that's as bad as it gets?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/abvhd3/needing_advice/ (Archive)
Here we get a few more details - primarily that she would restrict who he was able to see (if anyone, at all) during their 15 years of poly time. It was during this time that she would still be jealous/uncomfortable with poly and he still pursued it and suggested that she does the same. It would look like our protagonist may have made his own bed here, so to speak.
Additionally she states that she has no intention of leaving and honestly why would she? This guy is the father to her kids and is basically paying for her to get routinely creampied by a much younger man. She's in an unbelievably great position - it's a hedonist's dream life.
Oh, yeah, creampie confirmed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aduljh/reclamation_sex_rejection/ (Archive)
She doesn't like having frequent sex anymore so she seems to have it primarily with her new partner. When she has sex (infrequently) with the husband she makes him wrap it up so the boyfriend can drop loads inside carefree.
TL;DR - this guy basically was a swinger for 15 years who thought he was poly until his wife (of 25 years) got a semi-serious boyfriend and try as he might to be cool about it, he is having a giant internal meltdown about it. She, after jealously dealing with him swinging with others, seems to refuse to let her new relationship go despite the devastation it seems to be causing her husband. Seemingly any situation where she can blow off her husband for her boyfriend she will do it without a moment's hesitation.
Bonus -
"Reclamation sex". What is this insanity ? You fuck your spouse as a way to get back at her for cucking you ? That's incredibly twisted.
I think he meant it as "how can I reclaim sex?" as the wife used to sleep with both people (her side guy and then also her husband) but then a medical issue forced her to chose a single partner to have sex with in a day. Whenever she gets the choice, she always chooses whoever isn't her husband and now whenever she has no choice and bangs him, she makes him us a condom so the other guy(s) can raw dog her. That's assuming she feels like it, which apparently rarely happens for the husband.
Came across this one - it's like a piece of art. It's a long one though.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aks3gl/came_out_to_our_friends/ (Archive)
We start with our protagonist, reddit user "tkuck" and him sharing his poly happiness with his family, close friends, reddit, and now (indirectly) kiwi farms. But he's just a man having trying to share a positive success story within his online poly community and what is really so wrong with that? Is it maybe he doesn't use a different username when he posts other things and has been crying out for help constantly? Nah.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/ao68xs/i_cant_get_over_my_fear_and_anxiety/ (Archive)
It turns out, our protagonist is actually falling apart and shines a light on a few things in his life. She's a housewife spending money she doesn't earn on this guy who is half her age and doesn't seem to care that her husband of 25 years is quite explicitly falling apart at the seams over it. In the comments he provides one more info piece that the wife doesn't want him "to scare him (the boyfriend) away". Maybe he's just reading too much into it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/am6xxs/am_i_asking_too_much/ (Archive)
So not only is he falling apart over this but his wife is routinely blowing him off to see this other, younger guy. She goes when he's working, she goes when she feels like it, and now she goes even on his "standing date night". Maybe that's as bad as it gets?
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/abvhd3/needing_advice/ (Archive)
Here we get a few more details - primarily that she would restrict who he was able to see (if anyone, at all) during their 15 years of poly time. It was during this time that she would still be jealous/uncomfortable with poly and he still pursued it and suggested that she does the same. It would look like our protagonist may have made his own bed here, so to speak.
Additionally she states that she has no intention of leaving and honestly why would she? This guy is the father to her kids and is basically paying for her to get routinely creampied by a much younger man. She's in an unbelievably great position - it's a hedonist's dream life.
Oh, yeah, creampie confirmed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aduljh/reclamation_sex_rejection/ (Archive)
She doesn't like having frequent sex anymore so she seems to have it primarily with her new partner. When she has sex (infrequently) with the husband she makes him wrap it up so the boyfriend can drop loads inside carefree.
TL;DR - this guy basically was a swinger for 15 years who thought he was poly until his wife (of 25 years) got a semi-serious boyfriend and try as he might to be cool about it, he is having a giant internal meltdown about it. She, after jealously dealing with him swinging with others, seems to refuse to let her new relationship go despite the devastation it seems to be causing her husband. Seemingly any situation where she can blow off her husband for her boyfriend she will do it without a moment's hesitation.
Bonus -