Musical LOLcows

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Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, who flipped his shit at the I Heart Radio Music Festival in 2012.
[youtube]g9zogQOmQVM[/youtube]
Later, Green Day's official Facebook page posted that their set had in fact not been cut short and that Billie Joe was seeking treatment for substance abuse.
 
Abethedemon said:
Ted Nugent, because he's only remembered for one song.
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The guy did say he'd be dead or in jail by now because of Obama. Well, he's got a little more than a month yet.

Axl Rose may have let himself go and Gene Simmons will put his name on almost anything, but they won't make political threats, brag how war and violence is the answer to almost everything (while not lifting a finger when war needed them) and take in teen brides.
 
Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
The guy did say he'd be dead or in jail by now because of Obama. Well, he's got a little more than a month yet.

Axl Rose may have let himself go and Gene Simmons will put his name on almost anything, but they won't make political threats, brag how war and violence is the answer to almost everything (while not lifting a finger when war needed them) and take in teen brides.
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Also, he like to rip on musicians that are far more talented and popular than he'll ever be (Bon Scott, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon).

And sorry if it sounds like I'm A-logging, but I'm pretty sure that being a self admitted chi-mo is way worse than any of the drug/alcohol problems that those four dealt with. At least Page and Moon (at the time of his death anyways) were actually committed overcoming their addictions and become better people in the process. Something Nugent will probably never do.
 
ZepFloyd94 said:
Also, he like to rip on musicians that are far more talented and popular than he'll ever be (Bon Scott, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon).

And sorry if it sounds like I'm A-logging, but I'm pretty sure that being a self admitted chi-mo is way worse than any of the drug/alcohol problems that those four dealt with. At least Page and Moon (at the time of his death anyways) were actually committed overcoming their addictions and become better people in the process. Something Nugent will probably never do.
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Don't worry, I don't blame you at all.
 
ManicPixieDreamGirl said:
I was gonna say, I am not sure if Andy Milonakis counts as a lolcow. He's going for the lolcow thing but, ultimately, remains highly cognizant of how ridiculous his actions and words are. Lolcows are impoverished of self-awareness.

He's actually the cousin of one of my best friends. She says that he's much wittier and sarcastic IRL but that his roles always feature a childish slant to it because of his appearance. She also said that he's really intelligent, chill, and totally anti-Hollywood douchebaggery. I spent my early adolescence sperging over his web videos. He's one of the few people I've ever seen on TV and thought, "Whoa, I wanna meet this dude."

But since Andy doesn't mind being milked for the lulz, here's a few good ones:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=gzkVDb54oeU
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tFSMBRP0N5M
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Old gold…
 
Start your Holidays with a nice cup of lolnog. After much contemplation, I have decided that yes, CWCki needs to know about the mini-revolution that was incited by one Christmas song. In an instant, the holidays AND souls were forever transformed by one unknown hero: Twinkle the Christmas Elf.

My friends and I have always loved stocking up on lolcows before we even knew what they were. My friend had a cassette full of horrible music sung by an elf named Twinkle and a bunch of monotonous zombie children whom might as well have been eating flesh. Considering how laughably bland the voice of the children's chorus was, even "zombie" is an overstatement. But when I turned to YouTube to relocate Twinkle, I was introduced to Twinkle the Christmas Elf by Henderson-Tapscott. Brace yourselves, dude:


Being someone with a decent amount of viewers on his channel, my friend decided that everyone else needed to hear it. My friend made a call-to-arms video that called upon the masses to partake in the heavenly trill of (what I assume is) Henderson-Tapscott's voice and rejoice in the name of Twinkle. When we discovered the video, there was about 15 likes. Even that much might be stretching it. I can tell that my friend and I generated most of those 5,533 views because "One Toke Over the Line" by Brewer & Shipley, a song we listened to a lot back then, is one of the recommended videos. Needless to say, our lives were changed and judging by all 4 pages of the comment section, so were many others. Months later, we discover that someone completely unbeknownst to us made their own YouTube tribute to Christmas's real champion. Sadly, I cannot find that video, but here's one of the related videos that come up on the side:

Why, yes; 1:46 does, in fact, feature the contents of a Planned Parenthood dumpster.

When we researched the band behind Twinkle the Christmas Elf, we found out that they live in the same hometown of another lolcow my other friend and I followed, a man in his late fifties whom we discovered lounging like one of Jack's French girls on the back of a Playgirl Magazine cover where he placed a personal advertisement, full name included. But that's an entirely different story...
 
The "Elvin The Tiniest Elf" video made cringe. I'm not sure what is worse, the high-pitched sugar coated slightly off pitch singing or the creepy elf with the baby face.

They're probably equally awful.

€: Wait, at the beginning of the Video and at 2:58 you can see that the Lyrics and Singing was done Connie and the Music by B O B B I E Prince!
I hope that was him. Then i could at least explain to myself why Elvin looks like a Creature straight from Christmas Hell.
 
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Shokew said:
If I could get away with recommending Insane Clown Posse here, please tell me it's OK for Nickelback to be recommended as well...
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Part of me thinks Insane Clown Posse are marketing geniuses, cornering the whole "white trash" market with their horror themed rap and keeping the fanbase growing year after year while adding other things the poor white demographic like such as wrestling.
 
ZepFloyd94 said:
Not sure who's the bigger rock lolcow?

Axl Rose, Gene Simmons, or Ted Nugent?
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Probably Gene Simmons, at least the other two haven't made any cringeworthy attempts at becoming mainstream again, nor have they tried to act tough towards internet pirates only to end up looking like a complete ass.
 
I got someone that I found while researching videos of geishas on Youtube.

Her name is Geisha Davis, she is a weeaboo from the UK and considers herself a "performance artist." Her debut album was a recitation of Humpty Dumpy done in a staccato manner. The girl cannot sing and has no sense of rhythm at all. She wears this godawful "geisha" makeup and brightly colored clothes, nothing which has anything to do with real geishas and Japan.

Here's her Humpty Dumpty song:

And Geisha Again

She also appeared on Britain's Got Talent where somehow the judges let her go through to a second act:

She also appeared on Snog Marry Avoid, a "makeover" show that takes bizarrely dressed people and make them more normal:

Needless to say this girl is weird and comes across as some Lady Gaga wannabe.
 
Eatme said:
Fadades.
Probably the best \M/ETAL musician ever walked on Earth.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=lEMbhPMltRchttps://youtube.com/watch?v=Qp9V2bpT1cIHis youtube Channel

Hi, BTW.
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This guy's videos are really strange performance art , he is on an alien planet with pyramids and making funny expressions.
The music sounds like it's made entirely with computers , more industrial than metal. I can't figure out the language he's "singing" in , is it French or his own self invented gibberish ?
 
Dr.Scrotem said:
The music sounds like it's made entirely with computers
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Im sure that the guitar he used is real. Not sure about the rest though.
He does show a list of his equipment in some videos or youtube descriptions.
I'm not sure if he lists the gear used for the current song or his overall gear.

Dr.Scrotem said:
I can't figure out the language he's "singing" in , is it French or his own self invented gibberish ?
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Im pretty sure that nearly all of his songs are in French, with one exception:

Which is the only song i can understand, translate, and provide the Lyrics of.
Beside of a few grammatical errors ( ich nicht das = i not this ) his "German" is good understandable.

And yes, most of the Lyrics are just the word "das" repeated over and over again.

Again this, i not this, and it is this.
This, this, this.
Again this, And again this, it is this.
Not again this, and only this, but not this.
This, this, this.
It is this, and agian this, and again this.
Again this, and again this, it is this.
This, this, this.
Again this, and again this, it is this.
This, this, this.
Not again this, and only this, but not this.
This, this, this.
It is this, and again this, and again this.
This, this, this.
This, this.

-------- Original Lyrics: ---------

Wieder das, ich nicht das, und es ist das.
Das, das, das.
Wieder das, und schon wieder das, es ist das.
Nicht wieder das, und nur das, aber nicht das
Das das das.
Es ist das, und wieder das, und wieder das.
Wieder das, ich nicht das, und es ist das.
Das, das, das.
Wieder das, und schon wieder das, es ist das.
Das, das, das.
nicht wieder das, und nur das, aber nicht das.
Das, das, das.
Es ist das, und wieder das, und wieder das.
Das, das, das.
Das, das, das.
Das, das.

Since I can't find any lyrics to copy and paste in google translator, i don't know what he is singing about in the rest of his "songs"

His Facebook page is also worth a look
He seems well aware of his own shittyness.

Sorry of the long post and possible grammatical errors
 
Arctic said:
Blood on the Dance floor definitely deserves a mention. They're a lot more dangerous than most though, since Dahvie Vanity actually raped a minor according to reports. There's also the constant drama with former bandmates. It's like somebody took ICP and thought "Hmh, this isn't quite enough."
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I found out about them on an ED trawl. The lead singer seems like quite the Horrorcow. They were apparently the favorite band of Jessi Slaughter, arguably a lolcow herself, and she claimed he was the reason she got pregnant at 12 (it was actually her 15-year-old boyfriend).
 
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