UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[Norvic]

Have they started issuing crazy denomination notes yet? I treasure my 10 trillion Zimbabwe dollar note.

 

[ConcernedCitizen]

If we couldn't fight little groups of leftists with hunger in our jungles for fifty years, is gonna be a nightmare fighting against a national army of them.
Hold me bros

 

[Cubanodun]

Have they started issuing crazy denomination notes yet? I treasure my 10 trillion Zimbabwe dollar note.

Not yet, but if we follow the info we are getting from the border the new minimum wage that Maduro put went from 30 $ to 13$ in less than 48 hours, the new bills have now a estimated life expectancy of WEEKS, also he lied about eliminating the exchange control policy, the only thing he did was to announce that the bid system that they always use and always fail are going to be daily, motherfucker you could not even maintain it when it was 3 times a week

Tomorrow is apparently the first day of the national strike, like always i expect it to fail spectacularly

 

[kcbbq]

Not yet, but if we follow the info we are getting from the border the new minimum wage that Maduro put went from 30 $ to 13$ in less than 48 hours, the new bills have now a estimated life expectancy of WEEKS, also he lied about eliminating the exchange control policy, the only thing he did was to announce that the bid system that they always use and always fail are going to be daily, motherfucker you could not even maintain it when it was 3 times a week

Tomorrow is apparently the first day of the national strike, like always i expect it to fail spectacularly

I hope that some sanity kicks in. If there's a Central American country that should be thriving its Venezuela.

 

[Kyria the Great]

Just be happy that everyone is a multimillionaire.

Then by that logic we should be jealous of those Zimbabwean Trillionaires

 

[Raging Capybara]

Tomorrow is apparently the first day of the national strike, like always i expect it to fail spectacularly

How could a country like Venezuela strike? Nothing and nobody work there already.

 

[Maxliam]

Then by that logic we should be jealous of those Zimbabwean Trillionaires

Reminds me of that scene on Malcolm in the Middle where Reese tells Malcolm what to say to a stupid girl to impress her.

Something about changing the one dollar bill to the million dollar bill so nobody would be poor. That's how this all seems when I see million dollar bills in these shitholes.

How could a country like Venezuela strike? Nothing and nobody work there already.

They'll stop breaking into zoos and eating wild animals if they don't stop their shenanigans.

 

[millais]

In more BIG NEWS, Maduro decide to fuck with everything by pegging our worthless currency to our worthless crypto, using that excuse he ramped the minimum wage to a super awesome 3500% (it was 5 millions of old now is fucking 180 millions) the thing was so fucking exceptional that everyone screamed in terror because every time there is a raise the prices got sky high, his "plan" consist in the state taking the hit for the industries by paying them the difference, that sounds all right? hell no, you want to pay your employees? fuck you, kiss the ring first they we are going to see, the opposition called a national strike but considering how fucking stupid they are and their record of ruining everything i expect they are only going to do it for a day or so before going back to the status quo

Also his new brilliant idea was controlling the price of things.... again... using the crypto as a "base", every single day he is going more autistic, the rage for the gasoline was "delayed" for "technical difficulties" i expect this to be delayed too probably in two days because he is a big coward

My initial prediction was that the petro-crypto currency, being essentially dead on arrival, would subsequently be quietly swept under the rug a few months after the announcement in order to avoid the embarrassment of its total failure, so it is very scary that Maduro is actually still talking about it today, to say nothing of the fact that he has now made it the cornerstone of the national currency system.

 

[Maxliam]

So is it possible that Venezuelans rise up and cut this guy to pieces in a town square? It just seems like he's begging for it at this point. I mean really if your chicken cost like millions of Bolivars you're just asking for trouble.

 

[Cubanodun]

How could a country like Venezuela strike? Nothing and nobody work there already.

That is what everyone is asking, tomorrow we are going to see what is going to happen but dont get your hopes up

So is it possible that Venezuelans rise up and cut this guy to pieces in a town square? It just seems like he's begging for it at this point. I mean really if your chicken cost like millions of Bolivars you're just asking for trouble.

Like i have repeated myself again and again, its unlikely that is something is going to happen, every time someone rises the "opposition" runs immediately to negotiate the same shitty points with the same shitty results, the points are:

1) To let humanitarian organization to enter the country, Maduro refuse to accept them unless they gave him the medicines and the food so he can "distribute it to the people" aka only if you suck his dick you are going to get the food

2) Liberation of political prisoners, this is the most fantastic one, Maduro is always willing to liberate a couple of idiots with shitload of conditions (no internet, no declarations, and banned to go to any election) because he has a huge supply of them, he liberate 3, then put in jail 10 for the heck of it

3) The removal of the economy sanctions that USA has against Venezuela, this is the one that he always insist talking first and to be the MOST URGENT MATTER, the problem is that our political parties doesn't have ANY kind of blame for it, it was not them that put the sanctions, it was Trump and Maduro refuses to acknowledge that outside of Venezuela he doesn't have any power, all negotiations always die here because he want those sanctions out NOW NOW NOW NOW, and God Emperor only mock him with "lol no, get bent"

 

[HIVidaBoheme]

I hope that some sanity kicks in. If there's a Central American country that should be thriving its Venezuela.

South American friend, South American.

Also correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't the healthcare workers begun a strike yet? I recall reading something about it some days ago...

 

[Cubanodun]

Also correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't the healthcare workers begun a strike yet? I recall reading something about it some days ago...

They do but are isolated cases, now the national army are in every hospital, they are not there to deliver medicines and supplies, they are just there to shot/give a beating to anyone that complain

In a new update the Venezuelan federation of commerce refuse to go to the strike, to the surprise of no one the strike got fucked before it even begun

 

[Maxliam]

That is what everyone is asking, tomorrow we are going to see what is going to happen but dont get your hopes up



Like i have repeated myself again and again, its unlikely that is something is going to happen, every time someone rises the "opposition" runs immediately to negotiate the same shitty points with the same shitty results, the points are:

1) To let humanitarian organization to enter the country, Maduro refuse to accept them unless they gave him the medicines and the food so he can "distribute it to the people" aka only if you suck his dick you are going to get the food

2) Liberation of political prisoners, this is the most fantastic one, Maduro is always willing to liberate a couple of idiots with shitload of conditions (no internet, no declarations, and banned to go to any election) because he has a huge supply of them, he liberate 3, then put in jail 10 for the heck of it

3) The removal of the economy sanctions that USA has against Venezuela, this is the one that he always insist talking first and to be the MOST URGENT MATTER, the problem is that our political parties doesn't have ANY kind of blame for it, it was not them that put the sanctions, it was Trump and Maduro refuses to acknowledge that outside of Venezuela he doesn't have any power, all negotiations always die here because he want those sanctions out NOW NOW NOW NOW, and God Emperor only mock him with "lol no, get bent"

Trump wins again....flawless victory.

 

[Ahriman]

Another pic by Reuters LATAM, a bunch of 100 Bolivars bills in the trash, taken in a gas station in Caracas.

 

[Ahriman]

And here's a video of Venezuelans being chased away, from the Brazilian border. Looks like tension is escalating between Brazil and Venezuela.

 

[Ahriman]

You can see hundreds of Brazilians shooting fireworks towards them, dousing their camps with gasoline, and chanting "fora, fora" which means "get out, get out" in Portuguese.

 

[Nobunaga]

You can see hundreds of Brazilians shooting fireworks towards them, dousing their camps with gasoline, and chanting "fora, fora" which means "get out, get out" in Portuguese.

Now the question is if the brazilian goverment is gonna start hiring the favela gangs to take care of the venezuelan problem in their borders

 

[CWCissey]

Now the question is if the brazilian goverment is gonna start hiring the favela gangs to take care of the venezuelan problem in their borders

Neymar's just going to roll over the migrants.

 

[Cubanodun]

My initial prediction was that the petro-crypto currency, being essentially dead on arrival, would subsequently be quietly swept under the rug a few months after the announcement in order to avoid the embarrassment of its total failure, so it is very scary that Maduro is actually still talking about it today, to say nothing of the fact that he has now made it the cornerstone of the national currency system.

It was not even on arrival, it died just after it was planned, the entire thing was a mess that he planned to use it to bypass USA sanctions, he is only using it as a excuse because HE REFUSE TO SAY DOLLARS unless is mocking it, the main thing that he doesn't want to admit is that the black market fucked him so bad that he put the "official" price of the dollar to the one of the black market but he could not say it on television so he invented the "pegging our currency to the petro" to raise the minimum wage to oblivion

He is rambling like a idiot right now on television screaming about how he finally defeated that dreadful dollar and how with his new "plan of economical progress" he is going to save Venezuela, fucker the only thing you did was raise the minimum wage and slash five zeros to our worthless currency, you have not opened the market, you scare any person that want to come here to invest because you call them a US spy, you refuse to let the exchange control go, you keep insisting in destroying any kind of Industry in the country, also this is the TENTH PLAN OF ECONOMY GROWTH YOU HAVE MADE IN 6 YEARS AND ALL OF THEM FAILED BECAUSE IT WAS THE SAME THING YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Man, it's such a good thing we don't have CIA-backed military coups to take over the country and throw all the clowns currently in charge out of helicopters, amirite?