🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

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Mister Moo said:
Hey guys- I had an idea you guys might be able to help develop!


So I was thinking- why don't we afford Dr. Church an opportunity to have his thread removed? A noble contest of will and intellect, ala the Liquid Chris Singstar Challenge! And the victor could decide the fate of this very thread. As for the contest itself, it could take a number of forms, but I've been thinking of a writing competition. TJ feels writing is a strength of his, and prose seems an excellent way for him to demonstrate his superior intellect.


So, here's how I envision this going down...


Step One - we agree upon a format and topic (for example- a science fiction short story, an erotic poem, a treatise on the CWCki Forums and their detrimental effect on society as a whole, or perhaps none of the above). TJ would have input as to the contest's format, of course.


Step Two – CWCki forums nominates a champion (or maybe 2-4 champions), and everybody involved submits their work to a chosen forum moderator, who in turn, publishes the finished product without any names attached. This would prevent people from reflexsively shitting on TJ's work, or mindlessly voting for our champion, thus insuring TJ gets a fair shake.


Step Three – We read the finished products, and vote for “The Best.” Once the voting window closes, the moderator would reveal the authors, and the votes would be tallied. And if TJ prevails, we would remove the thread. And if he loses, well, he admits to being bested fair and square. Either way, the forum gets itself a much-craved injection of Hot TJ Goodness.


Anyway, that's my proposal! An honorable, winner takes all duel fought with pens, not swords. What do you guys think?
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I think that's a grand idea, however we have to find a way to make it fair for all those involved other wise @Cowlick won't agree. Perhaps each side should have their own judges so its even? Or maybe one or two of our champions would have to be not well versed in the art of erotica so as to level the proverbial playing field, like say a certain doctor who's never written a lick of smut in his entire life..... okay I'm sorry I just wanna join too :(
 
What if instead of a contest, we just write, TJChurch ordains his revisions for us, and we adapt accordingly? Our writing should improve pretty quickly.

Taily Puff said:
He's plagued by medical troubles, unemployed, not terribly bright, and shunned by active communities.
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It is a shame that anyone would feel pity for. I felt horrible when I found out. Christian Weston Chandler suffers from a debilitating condition which disables him from ever socially developing and living a productive life, but as the Wiki states, this isn't an excuse, and people continue to riff on his monthly tugboat (which, frankly, is completely necessary for him given what a let-down our socializing agents are).
 
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I think TJ was on and deleted all of the comments on his comments page last night, and he ignored the thread. Honestly, that's a step in the right direction, but he honestly needs to stop logging in altogether if he wants people to stop talking about him, but, you know, baby steps. Then again, it's also pretty hypocritical to delete things other people are saying about him.
 
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TJ's trying to lay low, but something tells me he won't be able to stay away since the thread is still growing without him, I think he made it reach critical mass and now even if he doesn't show up on his own, we can still talk plenty about him. Congratulations TJ, you modern Oedipus, you, in trying to stop it you've inadvertently caused the very thing you wanted stopped.
 
HawkerHurricane said:
TJ's trying to lay low, but something tells me he won't be able to stay away since the thread is still growing without him, I think he made it reach critical mass and now even if he doesn't show up on his own, we can still talk plenty about him. Congratulations TJ, you modern Oedipus, you, in trying to stop it you've inadvertently caused the very thing you wanted stopped.
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Are you subtly giving him Tyce-inspired erotica ideas? FUCKED UR MOM, etc.
 
HawkerHurricane said:
TJ's trying to lay low, but something tells me he won't be able to stay away since the thread is still growing without him, I think he made it reach critical mass and now even if he doesn't show up on his own, we can still talk plenty about him. Congratulations TJ, you modern Oedipus, you, in trying to stop it you've inadvertently caused the very thing you wanted stopped.
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Zeorus said:
Are you subtly giving him Tyce-inspired erotica ideas? FUCKED UR MOM, etc.
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I genuinely appreciate how literate and intelligent this forum is, it's quite delightful and pleasing. @Cowlick : See, dude? We aren't the mindless morons you portray us to be, most of us are actually well read and educated.

On the topic of Oedipus...
OEDIPUS
Thou lov'st to speak in riddles and dark words.
TEIRESIAS
In reading riddles who so skilled as thou?
OEDIPUS
Twit me with that wherein my greatness lies.
TEIRESIAS
And yet this very greatness proved thy bane. (439-442)

Damn it, now I gotta go reread Oedipus the King, I forgot how amazing it was (in the truest sense of that word).

Edit: Thinking about this too much makes me realize how applicable Oedipus is to so many lolcows... With themes of them loving their mothers a little too much, and their own actions in an effort to avoid ridicule ends up sealing their most feared fate.
 
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Has anyone dug up any examples of his fiction that aren't erotica? I'd be curious to see what kind of stories TJ wants to tell when fucking isn't involved.
 
Kitlen said:
I genuinely appreciate how literate and intelligent this forum is, it's quite delightful and pleasing. @Cowlick : See, dude? We aren't the mindless morons you portray us to be, most of us are actually well read and educated.
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The other day I was reading Meditations on the First Philosophy in the bathroom because it was the first book I grabbed and I was just like "This is either really intellectual or pretentious as fuck..." in reference to me using Descartes as a bathroom reader. (I'm leaning towards it being the latter.)
 
HawkerHurricane said:
I think TJ was on and deleted all of the comments on his comments page last night, and he ignored the thread. Honestly, that's a step in the right direction, but he honestly needs to stop logging in altogether if he wants people to stop talking about him, but, you know, baby steps. Then again, it's also pretty hypocritical to delete things other people are saying about him.
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Why won't he let us love him?
 
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