🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

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HawkerHurricane said:
Can we talk about the fact that he has Type 1 Diabetes and doesn't believe he does? He still takes his medication for it, which is fortunate because if he doesn't he'll die, but I'm curious as to why he takes his medicine if he swears he doesn't have it, or rather, why he still swears he doesn't have it, all the while taking his medicine for it? Isn't that tantamount to admitting you do have it? Injections are a little extreme for a disease you don't believe you have.
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I bet TJ is meds-compliant simply because taking meds is part of his highly structured daily routine, but he doesn't believe he has or has ever had diabetes because he's delusional. Browsing one of his now-defunct xanga blogs, he describes multiple episodes where his feelings and memories become unmoored from verifiable events. He also asks his relatives and acquaintances to let him know if they've seen him around town, because he can't trust his own recollections.

His older writing is more comprehensible than his current disjointed and repetitive ramblings. He also seems like less of a massive dick all the time. Poor TJ really seems to have gone downhill.
I was just about to write that I've been here this whole time, except I know I wasn't. Earlier today (it was Tuesday, according to my watch), I went to the store. That also comes as no surprise, since all my diabetic supplies come from a pharmacy located in a local grocery store, & I know/knew I had some pick-ups coming soon. I picked-up some supplies, & some groceries while I was at it. Then, I came home. (None of this on my own, I am sure; My toes are not fully healed from my breaks earlier in the Summer, & I wouldn't walk to the store if my foot was 100%.)

I was sitting watching some TV (not sure what), & the memories of the store/pharmacy seemed less-sure in my mind. Not just "fainter", but like they weren't even actually memories; It seemed like some part of my mind was making them up. Then, I went on a commercial break to grab a soda from the "fridge", & what do I see? A new 12-pack of sodas sitting in there, which I saw myself picking-up in the "fainting" memories in my head.

Here's the thing... Now, I know I went to the store & picked-up a bunch of stuff. I also know that my Dad came over to watch the Monday-night WWE show. However, I have several pictures (& it seems even some moving-picture) of myself either solo in places, or here with other people, that I know never happened. (Some of the other people I am picturing with me in those aforementioned cases are deceased, which is how I know.) My mind/brain, or whatever, is giving me the things that did &/or didn't happen with the same level of strength, so I have them all mixed-up in my head with no sure way to differentiate what happened & what my mind is completely creating.
source
 
TJ said:
However, I have several pictures (& it seems even some moving-picture) of myself either solo in places, or here with other people, that I know never happened. (Some of the other people I am picturing with me in those aforementioned cases are deceased, which is how I know.) My mind/brain, or whatever, is giving me the things that did &/or didn't happen with the same level of strength, so I have them all mixed-up in my head with no sure way to differentiate what happened & what my mind is completely creating.
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that....is fucking insane.
TJ said:
did &/or didn't
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what.
how could it be did AND didn't?
he really forcibly injects the forward slashes/&or's at every cringe-inducing opportunity.
ex:mind/brain
I feel like he thinks he's covering all his bases and being more descriptive, but it comes across as indecisive/amateurish.
don't ever change, my friend.
 
I like how the thread is chugging along just fine even though he hasn't graced us with his presence last night, from what I can tell he wasn't on literotica last night either so he either took a night off or he tardraged so hard the night before that his mom wouldn't let him on the computer last night.
 
TJ buddy are you ok?
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Come back.
 
I think we should have some sort of "It's ok to put stuff you'd usually put in spoilers just in a post if you really want TJ to see it." policy, I don't think he's clicking on spoiler tags.
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Cowlick said:
1] Irony of that is you were being sarcastic, but I am truly the most-intelligent poster yet in this thread.

2] Who will search my name? Potential relationships, employers, etc.
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1] Riiiiiight. :stupid:

2] Of course! I always Google potential lovers. You're such a romantic. :tomgirl:

Alan Pardew said:
Why do you dislike opinions?
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Because they're wrong!
 
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Wow. I hadn't even heard of this guy a couple of days ago, and now I can't stop reading. Can't wait to see what the future holds for the Pope of Teeth.

Actually, if I peer into my crystal ball* ... hmmm. Through the swirling mists of Internet time, I see that there will be a lull. For yea, he shall be distracted or possibly hospitalized, and though there be much to discuss this thread shall eventually wither like Chris's netherbits without him. Silence. Darkness. Banished to the wastelands of the Lolcow back pages. And then ... behold! He shall return to crow at us about his victory, light shall returned to the darkened thread, and once more Church will be in session! Can I get an AMEN?!

*Warning: crystal ball may be an overturned chip bowl. Results may vary. Do not use internally. See store for details.
 
Slowboat to China said:
Wow. I hadn't even heard of this guy a couple of days ago, and now I can't stop reading. Can't wait to see what the future holds for the Pope of Teeth.

Actually, if I peer into my crystal ball* ... hmmm. Through the swirling mists of Internet time, I see that there will be a lull. For yea, he shall be distracted or possibly hospitalized, and though there be much to discuss this thread shall eventually wither like Chris's netherbits without him. Silence. Darkness. Banished to the wastelands of the Lolcow back pages. And then ... behold! He shall return to crow at us about his victory, light shall returned to the darkened thread, and once more Church will be in session! Can I get an AMEN?!

*Warning: crystal ball may be an overturned chip bowl. Results may vary. Do not use internally. See store for details.
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Hallelujah &/or Amen.
 
We shouldn't feel too disappointed:
  • Mr. Church has been trolling the Lit forums for ten years. If this doesn't merit him enough persistence to return here, then we accomplished in half a week what it took a bunch of celebrity-worshiping Mary Sue-laden-porn enthusiasts a decade to accomplish.
  • If he does leave, then it means his ego finally kowtowed to people wanting him to leave without even having to ban him. Truly a badge of honor for the CWCki.
  • He's still there to this day, forever arguing with people who are bigger trolls than he could ever aspire to be. A fitting purgatory.
  • There's still enough content to go on that he's completely unnecessary. It's almost as if this entire thread isn't even about him, personally.
 
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RequiredName said:
TJChurch said:
"Could you help me?!" she asked, looking over her shoulder at Will. "I have a REALLY bad itch!"

"Oh!" Will said. "Well, I always heard if you have an itch, scratch it!"

"I've heard that, too," she said. "But I don't think scratching it with my fingers would get the job done!"

"You think we should get some toilet paper?!" Will asked, heading towards a stall.

"No!" Sasha replied angrily. "Any chance we could use... Your tongue?"
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Source.
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Is she asking him to lick her asshole?
 
OMG this story gets better, can't even levels reaching critical mass.
Will had no intention of licking this chatty airhead's anus.

"Sasha believes ANYTHING Will says," he thought. "Sasha will trust Will completely. Sasha cannot lie to Will and will do anything Will says.."

"Sasha, do you enjoy having a man give you rim job?"

"Yes," she said still squirming."

"Tell me why."

"Having a man lick my asshole makes him submissive."

"But really, it's YOU who have a strong desire to lick a MAN'S asshole. You've just been trying to supress that fetish. YOU love being submissive to men. You even crave a little humiliation and degradation."

Sasha blushed.

"Now, we are going into the MEN'S room," said Will. "YOU will tongue out MY asshole. You will get that tongue of yours up as deep as you can. After that, I'm going to fuck you up the ass because you've always had a desire to be fucked up the ass. That will satisfy your itch. Then you will suck my cock clean. You're turned on and horny just thinking about this, aren't you, bitch?"

Sasha blushed more deeply. Her chest started heaving. "Yes," she said meekly.

Will took her into the men's room and into a stall. Soon she was giving him a rim job.

"This REALLY gets you horny," said Will, "you find this so disgusting, but you can't help it as it gets you hot. You won't even have sex with a man unless he lets you tongue out his asshole first."

Sasha moaned as she kept tonguing out Will's asshole.
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