🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

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balcolm said:
what about something along the lines of "attention whore"?
then again that's every lolcow
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That might apply.

Cowlick said:
... This place is now on my proverbial radar. When this one is deleted, especially now that you have sworn to make another, I will regularly check for another, each/all of which will also be removed.
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Also he basically said he was gonna keep coming back, I think that was the highlight of last night.
 
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Cowlick said:
Ignoring something is not the same as it disappearing. If this thread does not disappear due to the actions of Staff or another member, it will go away for another reason.

I am certainly as smart as I think I am, as well as far smarter than any f you think I am, & far smarter than any of you actually are.

What I'd do if there was no way to make it disappear... Ever?! That's like asking what someone would do if I'd never been born; Now that we know I was (& the thread will disappear), no reason to think about the alternative.
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Well gee whiz! He done said he's a smart 'un, so mah poor simpleton brain done say that now we gots to listens to him because he said he's smarter than us despite offerin us no evidence for his smarts and infact, demonstrating nothing resembling intelligence. Please mister smart man, don't punish us poor dumb fools with your superior smarts.

TJ, I've got a song I think you'll identify with:
 
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93532 said:
i hate/dislike how fucking unreadable/unintelligible tj's writings/writing is/are. the stilted repetitious syntax structure is hackneyed (adding colons constantly to give some false pretense of literacy) and the constant grammar mistake/mistakes immediately identify him as a person with a mental illness/illnesses &/or social issues, like some sort of retarded stylistic fingerprint.

as someone who's worked in commercial writing this wouldn't be accepted as high enough quality for mass produced-SEO content let alone a novel.
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Like I said, dumb motherfuckers have to convince everyone they're not dumb motherfuckers, so they use stilted, awkward language that they think makes them sound smart. Except it doesn't. It makes them sound like a dumb motherfucker trying to sound like a smart motherfucker, and smart motherfuckers can see through that shit like Superman through Lois Lane's dress.

Smart motherfuckers aren't generally hung up on being smart motherfuckers, either, so they don't usually call attention to how smart they really are. They kind of consider it bad form, to be honest. The minute you get someone boasting about their own intelligence you can bet the house on the fact that they're actually a dumb motherfucker.

This guy, though. This guy's not just a dumb motherfucker, he's a smug dumb motherfucker. And that's terrible.
 
RecordStoreToughGuy said:
Like I said, dumb motherfuckers have to convince everyone they're not dumb motherfuckers, so they use stilted, awkward language that they think makes them sound smart. Except it doesn't. It makes them sound like a dumb motherfucker trying to sound like a smart motherfucker, and smart motherfuckers can see through that shit like Superman through Lois Lane's dress.

Smart motherfuckers aren't generally hung up on being smart motherfuckers, either, so they don't usually call attention to how smart they really are. They kind of consider it bad form, to be honest. The minute you get someone boasting about their own intelligence you can bet the house on the fact that they're actually a dumb motherfucker.

This guy, though. This guy's not just a dumb motherfucker, he's a smug dumb motherfucker. And that's terrible.
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Fuckin' A.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
I don't think the "Batshit Insane" label fits this guy. He isn't "insane" so much as "Fucking Stupid".
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This could be his plan. Bring down the forums by starting a civil war between those who think he is insane and those who think he is stupid.
 
I still think we should have some sort of TJ Church subforum, maybe not a subforum in the sense that Jace and GK have one, where there's a main one for news and updates, but a sort of "TJ Church General" forum that's like Side Ops without the main forum, where we can have side discussions aside from this thread, because he makes a pretty big deal out of people discussing him, and he's sparked some pretty interesting discussions in this thread and elsewhere on the site, so the next logical step would be to create an area for multiple discussions to take place simultaneously. IIRC, That was one of the things that stuck in his craw on the Literotica thread that sought to chronicle his almost innumerable sockpuppets.
klystron said:
This could be his plan. Bring down the forums by starting a civil war between those who think he is insane and those who think he is stupid.
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Think about it, we can discuss that question and more! :biggrin:
 
For those who have been eagerly awaiting the subject's input, he appears to ignore questions when they're spot on.

Also, it is possible he is not always truthful:
TJChurch said:
In my opinion, it’s rude to lie to people.
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Source.
 
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Idling said:
Wow. Never thought I'd say this, but even the Golden Knight is a better writer...

TJ constantly reiterates everything in the most stilted unnatural and unpersonal way possible - all in the middle of what are supposed to be erotic scenes. Most of the time that just makes the scene unreadable, but every now and then the style becomes so terribly inappropriate for the setting, it all just slides over into hilarity. Like in the rape scene that was quoted earlier.

If I hadn't known the rest of his writing I would have just taken this as some kind of parody. Knowing he meant it serious makes me crack up even more:

Lisa's mind kept replaying what had just happened as the busty brunette couldn't believe that she had just sucked off her stepson. She was just glad that this was over...

At least she thought it was. But looking at Billy's face, & the look she saw on it as he looked back at her, told her he had more in mind.

"Ohhh, no," she said. "Billy, that had to be what you wanted! You got me to suck your cock! I sucked it until you came! Quite a bit! All of which I obviously swallowed! That had to have been all you've got!"

"Oh, yes; That was very nice," he replied.

That was very nice indeed, rapist stepson.
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What do you expect from somebody that has probably never actually had sex in his life. There's a reason why I always tell budding writers is to write what you know or at least base it on personal experience.
 
Ronald Raygun said:
Are there any examples of TJ's Literotica works available?
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TJChurch said:
"Could you help me?!" she asked, looking over her shoulder at Will. "I have a REALLY bad itch!"

"Oh!" Will said. "Well, I always heard if you have an itch, scratch it!"

"I've heard that, too," she said. "But I don't think scratching it with my fingers would get the job done!"

"You think we should get some toilet paper?!" Will asked, heading towards a stall.

"No!" Sasha replied angrily. "Any chance we could use... Your tongue?"
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Source.
 
let's not forget the line immediately preceding that:

Before Will could say anything in response, she unzipped and lowered her jeans, exposing her bare ass.
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now look at all will's responses

and tell me
they're logical
 
Altissimo said:
let's not forget the line immediately preceding that:



now look at all will's responses

and tell me
they're logical
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Alan Smithy could write better porn dialogue.

Cowlick said:
"Pinerun" is not a member of my family by blood or law, & if there is a God, never will be.
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Is Pinerun your daddy's new mistress, TJ?
 
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qMqecKt.jpg
 
ASoulMan said:
Hey Cowlick, what are your political leanings? We really would love to know that.
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TJChurch (as rippitydoo) said:
NEM's posts are shit, jealous of legal, employed Americans (including Obama)

Lots of things in life are free (went through some time where if a pamphlet or something said, "Take one", I did, regardless of need).... You need to get a house instead of using some place's free Wi-Fi, so you can have a mailing address & realize what country you live in & who its leader is.
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Source.
TJChurch (as rippitydoo) said:
Just saying, you are repeatedly/incessantly posting opinions in a meant-to-look-like-facts way.
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Source.
 
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