Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

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What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?

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I T S H A P P E N I N G

Will this be the end for Chris? Will Barb lose the house? Will Chris spend the money on autistic Pickle Rick Dildo's? Find out on the next episode of Soap.
 
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Its really like as if reading the past few pages created in a 2 hour period is like that scene where they walk to the convenience store, and from behind comes this surfer van booming loud music with the punks going "EXTREME!"

I'm so fucking glad its finally coming to a head and imploding. He just needs to get a fucking job. Suck it up. Do a 4 hour Wal-Mart stint. Sort glass.

Someone gave you $1200 less than a few weeks ago because you were whining about Bronycon. And you also went to Magfest during the "Six month period" where your finances got messed up.

Funny thing is, Donald Trump would've helped you if maybe you tried reaching out. But nope, you went Pmurt on him.

Glad this is unraveling on my day off at my house with better internet so I can watch the videos.
 
looks like chrissy is willing to come to your house to suck your duck for a $300 more than if you go to him. Did anyone take him up on his previous offer. He said he was coerced though I think thats a load of balone
 

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Purely hypothetical but I wonder how much it would cost for a visit from classic Chris instead. A haircut, male clothing, pedo glasses and all. He should charge a premium for that versus the bag lady look.
 
You gotta love that the thanks you'd get from Chris for pulling his ass out of the fire is a maximum 30 minutes of hang out time.
Note to Chris enablers: that's how little he thinks of you.
 
Wibbly_pips said:
looks like chrissy is willing to come to your house to suck your duck for a $300 more than if you go to him. Did anyone take him up on his previous offer. He said he was coerced though I think thats a load of balone
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Stealing Cole's idea I see.

Although I would imagine this will sell quickly so some EPIK WEEN can do another stupid ass interview that no one will listen to
 
Alright Chris. I saw the Barb video this morning but during the span of my ferry, you posted two more.

You've spoiled me for the day. Post another begging video of you raging like a monkey for Bronycon money for mortgage to prevent foreclosure.
 
Mason Verger said:
You gotta love that the thanks you'd get from Chris for pulling his ass out of the fire is a maximum 30 minutes of hang out time.
Note to Chris enablers: that's how little he thinks of you.
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Awww, give him a little more credit than that. You'd also get a nice doxing out of the deal.
 
Oh my fucking god honest to god this shit looks like a comic number. The way he talks, the fake rough voice, his facial expression. Sad that Chris is too autistic to follow a comedic career cause he has potential.

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Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
He sounds like Frankie the Weatherman
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He fucking sounds like Bobcat Goldthwait at points for fuck sake.

Edit:
Am I the only one that thinks he is faking this shit? There are point where you can see he is trying to hide a smile, but you still notice a smirk, not to mention how it all feels so acted, how he is acting and talking, like someone trying to replicate what he saw in dramatic movies. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
 
Dattechpriest said:
Purely hypothetical but I wonder how much it would cost for a visit from classic Chris instead. A haircut, male clothing, pedo glasses and all. He should charge a premium for that versus the bag lady look.
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Now this is... such a wonderfully deviant idea.

Chris is used to getting money handed to him, but how low will he sink to dance like a monkey for his sheckels.

Meeting the true and honest Chris chan for money vs his massive ego that he's a pretty sailor moon feeemale.
 
Captain Oblivious said:
I T S H A P P E N I N G

Will this be the end for Chris? Will Barb lose the house? Will Chris spend the money on autistic Pickle Rick Dildo's? Find out on the next episode of Soap.
Click to expand...
I wonder if we're approaching the last and final chapter in Christory, "the Sifting Through Garbage For Food While Homeless Saga".

Banks don't fuck around, they can and WILL take your house away if you fail to meet your mortgage payments. The Chandlers are gonna be in for a rude awakening if they fail to realize this.
 
BananaBlue said:
He fucking sounds like Bobcat Goldthwait at points for fuck sake.

Edit:
Am I the only one that thinks he is faking this shit? There are point where you can see he is trying to hide a smile, but you still notice a smirk, not to mention how it all feels so acted, how he is acting and talking, like someone trying to replicate what he saw in dramatic movies. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
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Totally dude, 100%. It's not just you. Every time he's emoting rage or distress you can totally see him try (& fail) to suppress these demented little grins that work their way in btwn sentences. Like the swamp witch video from last year where he's screaming in quarter-assed falsetto in the muumuu about trolls hacking Quinn..


He's doing the same shit in the pissmoaning whining video today. Like he knows some inside joke.

Edit: Not implying that he does, or that it's not just a stock trait of his :autism:, but he's definitely trying not to smile when he's imitating duress.
 
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Two months of mortgage due for tomorrow or Chris and barb will have the hoard 2.0 foreclosed. Typical Chris leaving everything last minute until freaking out and shouting at fans to sort things out.
 
Nurse Ratchet said:
Totally dude, 100%. Every time he's emoting rage or distress you can totally see him try (& fail) to suppress these demented little grins working their way in btwn sentences. Like the swamp witch video from last year where he's screaming in quarter-assed falsetto in the muumuu about trolls hacking Quinn..

He's doing the same shit in the pissmoaning whining video today. Like he knows some inside joke.
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Exactly. Think for a moment. You are Chris, you are a lazy fuck but you still want to make money. You already know people will give money if you tell them you need it for survive. He used his mother in the past for sympathy shekels, it no longer works.
So now he is telling his "fans" that you will either buy his toys from ebay, or he will lose the house.
Adding to that all the shit you too said. How he is a lousy liar and how suspicious it is all his behavior.

I mean, you can blame his autism for acting in such way, but seriously, this latest videos, him trying so hard and failing with all the dramatic posture, the occasional smirks he slips every now and then.
I might be wrong, we might be wrong, but it definitely feels like there is something going on that Chris is intentionally trying to hide.

Or not. Maybe next week he will be homeless and I will be eating this same words.
 
Even if Chris is lying, unlike his normal begging this has a toy attached to it. We know Chris isn't the best when it comes to honoring his side of a deal but due to sites policies and stuff he normally has to cough shit up. I dunno I think if he's willing to even risk losing toys something is up.
 
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