The Golden Knight (Original, Archive)

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Bah, I'm still pissed he's so quick to dismiss Heather. Dead to him? Fucking three years and you essentially cheat on her in public then try to buy her back. But when something new comes along he's throwing vows of love, buying webcams, and all his fetish fuel at her. And Heather is dead to him? Good lord man. Just because it doesn't work out, especially if he was the problem, doesn't mean the person still can't be acknowledged and respected. He wants to be a knight so bad let's compare him to these 7 knightly virtues I found.

Courage: Not a chance. He shrinks at the first real sign of conflict. Dodging questions and responsibility for his own personal comforts. He should man up and admit to his mistakes then pretend they never happened. I'd even show a little respect if he admits the christmas journal thing was way out of line and he was sorry rather than just dancing around it.

Justice: One that holds themselves to highest standards of behavior, never breaking the rules. Crying when you don't get your way and that whole "Draw powerpuff porn but label it different so DA doesn't ban it. No here as well.

Mercy: He constantly alludes to using violence and bloodshed to solve his problems. Thinking war and fighting is the answer and if he could blast people it would make his life smoother. (at least from what I picked up)

Generosity: As long as it suites his agenda. So...Selfish. Yup 4 in and not a single one so far.

Faith: Well he says he upholds the jedi code, but with his selfish acts and eagerness to attain ultimate power I'd say he'd fall more in the sith camp. If you take it as he's trustworthy guy, then no. For reasons above he seems all to eager to break his commitments as long as something new is entertaining him.

Nobility: To be Noble. Noble: of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence. He wouldn't know a setup if it came and bit him on the nose and I think it's safe to assume we find his morals lacking at times.

Finally: Hope. While I'd say he actually has this one. Even despite the odds he's hopeful one day he'll hit it big. He holds onto that like no other. But we examine the opposite of hope in the seven knightly sins: Hate. Assumption that a person or group of people are beyond redemption. He hates us sure, but this whole Heather being dead to him so fast. From what I've seen Heather has only ever been nice to this guy. Not once mean or spiteful without reason. So to disregard them so quickly is insulting.

That's why I made this post. He wants so hard to be the badass action hero knight of the people but ultimately fails every fundamental aspect. It's pitiable. I /know/ he can do better. If he could refocus his thoughts and evaluate his actions more he'd see the errors of his ways. I'm just afraid he's going to do something he regrets and someone or something gets hurt.
 
Emperor's Champion said:
Bah, I'm still pissed he's so quick to dismiss Heather. Dead to him? Fucking three years and you essentially cheat on her in public then try to buy her back. But when something new comes along he's throwing vows of love, buying webcams, and all his fetish fuel at her. And Heather is dead to him? Good lord man. Just because it doesn't work out, especially if he was the problem, doesn't mean the person still can't be acknowledged and respected. He wants to be a knight so bad let's compare him to these 7 knightly virtues I found.

Courage: Not a chance. He shrinks at the first real sign of conflict. Dodging questions and responsibility for his own personal comforts. He should man up and admit to his mistakes then pretend they never happened. I'd even show a little respect if he admits the christmas journal thing was way out of line and he was sorry rather than just dancing around it.

Justice: One that holds themselves to highest standards of behavior, never breaking the rules. Crying when you don't get your way and that whole "Draw powerpuff porn but label it different so DA doesn't ban it. No here as well.

Mercy: He constantly alludes to using violence and bloodshed to solve his problems. Thinking war and fighting is the answer and if he could blast people it would make his life smoother. (at least from what I picked up)

Generosity: As long as it suites his agenda. So...Selfish. Yup 4 in and not a single one so far.

Faith: Well he says he upholds the jedi code, but with his selfish acts and eagerness to attain ultimate power I'd say he'd fall more in the sith camp. If you take it as he's trustworthy guy, then no. For reasons above he seems all to eager to break his commitments as long as something new is entertaining him.

Nobility: To be Noble. Noble: of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence. He wouldn't know a setup if it came and bit him on the nose and I think it's safe to assume we find his morals lacking at times.

Finally: Hope. While I'd say he actually has this one. Even despite the odds he's hopeful one day he'll hit it big. He holds onto that like no other. But we examine the opposite of hope in the seven knightly sins: Hate. Assumption that a person or group of people are beyond redemption. He hates us sure, but this whole Heather being dead to him so fast. From what I've seen Heather has only ever been nice to this guy. Not once mean or spiteful without reason. So to disregard them so quickly is insulting.

That's why I made this post. He wants so hard to be the badass action hero knight of the people but ultimately fails every fundamental aspect. It's pitiable. I /know/ he can do better. If he could refocus his thoughts and evaluate his actions more he'd see the errors of his ways. I'm just afraid he's going to do something he regrets and someone or something gets hurt.
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Yes, because all knights followed those.
 
Emperor's Champion said:
Bah, I'm still pissed he's so quick to dismiss Heather. Dead to him? Fucking three years and you essentially cheat on her in public then try to buy her back. But when something new comes along he's throwing vows of love, buying webcams, and all his fetish fuel at her. And Heather is dead to him? Good lord man. Just because it doesn't work out, especially if he was the problem, doesn't mean the person still can't be acknowledged and respected. He wants to be a knight so bad let's compare him to these 7 knightly virtues I found.

Courage: Not a chance. He shrinks at the first real sign of conflict. Dodging questions and responsibility for his own personal comforts. He should man up and admit to his mistakes then pretend they never happened. I'd even show a little respect if he admits the christmas journal thing was way out of line and he was sorry rather than just dancing around it.

Justice: One that holds themselves to highest standards of behavior, never breaking the rules. Crying when you don't get your way and that whole "Draw powerpuff porn but label it different so DA doesn't ban it. No here as well.

Mercy: He constantly alludes to using violence and bloodshed to solve his problems. Thinking war and fighting is the answer and if he could blast people it would make his life smoother. (at least from what I picked up)

Generosity: As long as it suites his agenda. So...Selfish. Yup 4 in and not a single one so far.

Faith: Well he says he upholds the jedi code, but with his selfish acts and eagerness to attain ultimate power I'd say he'd fall more in the sith camp. If you take it as he's trustworthy guy, then no. For reasons above he seems all to eager to break his commitments as long as something new is entertaining him.

Nobility: To be Noble. Noble: of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence. He wouldn't know a setup if it came and bit him on the nose and I think it's safe to assume we find his morals lacking at times.

Finally: Hope. While I'd say he actually has this one. Even despite the odds he's hopeful one day he'll hit it big. He holds onto that like no other. But we examine the opposite of hope in the seven knightly sins: Hate. Assumption that a person or group of people are beyond redemption. He hates us sure, but this whole Heather being dead to him so fast. From what I've seen Heather has only ever been nice to this guy. Not once mean or spiteful without reason. So to disregard them so quickly is insulting.

That's why I made this post. He wants so hard to be the badass action hero knight of the people but ultimately fails every fundamental aspect. It's pitiable. I /know/ he can do better. If he could refocus his thoughts and evaluate his actions more he'd see the errors of his ways. I'm just afraid he's going to do something he regrets and someone or something gets hurt.
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Wow. That is definitely a list of things.
 
exball said:
Yes, because all knights followed those.
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okay fine, I know not every knight lived up to the legend of knightly virtues, but can you really think of any good virtues the guy follows? I guess that's why I'm both frustrated and confused with him. He tries so hard to be something he's not. But if he just took a step back, looked at his situation, I think he could really change it around.
 
The Ulitmate Quest for Glory has been updated! You know what that means? Time for another sporking!

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82

(here's the prologue for anyone who missed it)

The Chosen One and Player Character was a 20 year old human woman named Lily. She was adorned with a thoroughly covering white and gold gown which contrasted her dark tan skin and ink black hair.

liz-lemon-eye-roll-o.gif

Grammer-Nazi my ass.

She worked to maintain a temple to honor those who have literally created the world she lives in. She has recognized the Creators by their appropriate title: Developers. Most of the NPCS - or Non Player Characters - did not heed her so well, as they barely acknowledged her own existence. She could see the will of the Developers manifest by itself within her Journal. There was even a quest page devoted to tracking her deeds among Pangaea. It currently read, "Get a feel for your surroundings." She knew she was chosen, because she had no predetermined routine or any scripted movement. Instead, she felt like there was a hand dragging her in every direction. She knew this was the almighty force that granted her existence.


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Who wants to bet that this is how TGK actually views real life?

As she stepped outside the Temple of the Creators, a gust of fresh air greeted her face. She was surrounded by a lush meadow, with a village just down the hill. Her temple was on top of that hill, with little more than the village below, made from logs provided by the forest off to the horizon. Nothing was going to happen with her just standing around, so she went down to the village.

When she reached the village, she started asking each NPC how life was. One in particular just said, "I have a bad feeling about this."
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Me too, random village NPC. Me too.

She asked, "What do you mean?" The character just repeated, "I have a bad feeling about this." Growing slightly flustered, she roared, "Is there anything else you can say?!" Once again, the only answer was the same, "I have a bad feeling about this." She groaned and gave up, moving on. Another example was the elder, who could only say, "Can you spare me a piece of bread?" Lily answered, "I do not have any bread on me." The elder repeated, "Can you spare me a piece of bread?" She growled, "I just told you, I don't have any." Yet again, "Can you spare me a piece of bread?" She exploded, "What the hell is wrong with these people?!"

Right so, Lily knows she is part of a video game. She knows that her movements aren't predetermined, and that the Creators/ Game Developers exist. We know this because TGK told us this when he established that Lily worshiped him/them in her temple. So why is Lily only now noticing that the Villagers can only say one thing?

When she was done, she realized there was more going on than the bats and rats of every video game beginning ever. As she began to leave the village, the villagers ran screaming for shelter. The light from the sky was blotted out by dark clouds. Out from the eye swooped down a dragon, spreading majestic wings and stretching its crimson red body. It has landed on the side of the hill between the village and the temple. Unlike the NPCs, Lily charged towards the dragon, but the dragon did not attack. Before she could reach it, it boomed:

"I bring a message from the Other Side: Prepare for my arrival, as I descend into your world and assume control."

The dragon flew off into the sky and simply disappeared into thin air!

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Lily is cocking an eyebrow as she's hurrying back to the temple. While this is all happening, the whole world is flashing white on and off.

Normally I'd cut him a break, but the fact that he's such a prick about grammar makes sentences like these unacceptable. And hilarious.
What she could see through all that distraction was a small number of lightning bolts fall from the sky. Past the flashes and past the deafening explosions, there were eight that shot off towards all the corners of the known world! After those eight, there were three others.

So like, eleven?

These three looked as if they were all going to hit the temple. However, only one of them actually did, and the rest clearly missed the mark.

She has ascended to the temple's front yard, but the darkness and blasts woke the dead. While most of the dead were well beyond resurrection, this incident did spawn a series of evil zombie dogs, clawing their ways out of the dirt and flipping towards Lily.
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Ohh we're getting spooky! But how are the dogs flipping towards Lily?
She tightened the fluff out of her dress and rumbled with the dogs, jumping and kicking until their bones crumbled into piles of dust.

I've read the first part of this sentence like eight times and I still have no idea what he means. But I'd be interested in seeing some artistic interpretations...

After storming through the waves of zombie dogs, she bursts into the temple. She hurried towards the Heart of the Temple, but found the main door was shut tight and the pedestals were bare. She cried, "Where are the eight gems?" An omnipresent voice rocked the giant temple hall:

"They have been sent to the eight corners of this world! It is your duty to find and protect them! Now, GO!"

WHAT EIGHT GEMS!? He makes it sound like we're supposed to know what those are! But we don't because he never introduced them or their significance!

Chaos_emeralds.gif


She gasped as the commanding tone threw her on her rump, her covered cheeks smacking hard on the marble floor.
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After picking herself up and brushing herself off, she squealed in panic as she noticed something about herself that she felt was not supposed to be. There was no hand pulling her anymore. She scurried around her own being, flailing to figure out what has happened. After settling down to a sputtering, she reached the conclusion that this must mean free will. She is in control of her own life.

It's good that this book has a tutorial. I mean, people just LOVE them so much in video games, why not insert them into other media?
But she has no idea what this means about the rest of the world, or that message. Who's assuming control of what? Does this have to do with the hand that used to guide her?

There were still so many questions she needed to seek answers for. She now knows the basics of talking, exploring, and battling.

All things that she already knew, since she has always known she was/is part of a video game. Unless the first chapter just doesn't count for some reason.

She was ready for THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!

Oh that's it? We didn't even get to learn anything about Lily? Or hear more from Luke? Awww. That's disappointing. :(
 
The worst part of that is the constant changing of tenses.

For being such a brilliant, intelligent writer, he sure is an awful writer.
 
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my tablet just won't stop crapping out. another quick doodle. I promise I'll contribute real artz to this thread someday.
Trust me Jay, I'm a doctor!

I can't wait for the Liquid saga.
 
He writes like he's describing the actions he takes in a video game that he's playing. There's nothing there that makes it sound like an actual story, it's like he's reeling off the stuff he wrote on a story board. Hopefully that makes sense.
 
OBAMATRON said:
He writes like he's describing the actions he takes in a video game that he's playing. There's nothing there that makes it sound like an actual story, it's like he's reeling off the stuff he wrote on a story board. Hopefully that makes sense.
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It did, to me at least. He doesn't break up his sentences well with figurative language like he should.
 
So I'm pretty much a tenth level lurker around here but I had to break my vow of silence to ask: Is he unaware that Quest for Glory is already a game, or is his fictional game supposed to be the ultimate version of the series? I know it's a dumb nit-pick all things considered but every time his writing pops up (thank you for that, littlebiscuits, your summaries are great) I can't help but wonder.
 
SpaceAce said:
So I'm pretty much a tenth level lurker around here but I had to break my vow of silence to ask: Is he unaware that Quest for Glory is already a game, or is his fictional game supposed to be the ultimate version of the series? I know it's a dumb nit-pick all things considered but every time his writing pops up (thank you for that, littlebiscuits, your summaries are great) I can't help but wonder.
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He's probably not aware of it. It peaked before his time. Great series from what I played of it back in the day.
 
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