💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Midnight Cooking said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=rDu-dxrvgsgTRYING POPEYES NEW ONE PIECE BENTO BOX [rDu-dxrvgsg].mp4
We get a second Jack on the Go this week. He stayed home and made Tammy bring the food back for a change.
He doesn't even try the food, and he complains about the price after making Tammy go pick up several meals. Because strokey is incapable of reading prices beforehand.
Click to expand...
Could he maybe try to make a point next time?

This review had no review, was him bitching about the price and he didn't even eat it.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
Could he maybe try to make a point next time?

This review had no review, was him bitching about the price and he didn't even eat it.
Click to expand...
The point was to trick the tax man into allowing him to eat meat. Oh, and wanting a toy from an anime he doesn't remember, because it's probably one Jr. told him about.

One Piece is the retard's anime at this point as far as I give a shit given the number of cows who love it. Jack probably would become obsessed with Delicious in Dungeon or Toriko if he knew about those.
 
Adamska said:
The point was to trick the tax man into allowing him to eat meat. Oh, and wanting a toy from an anime he doesn't remember, because it's probably one Jr. told him about.

One Piece is the retard's anime at this point as far as I give a shit given the number of cows who love it. Jack probably would become obsessed with Delicious in Dungeon or Toriko if he knew about those.
Click to expand...
Delicious in dungeon would require more mental capacity to understand than fatty has ever been capable of. He'd hate it due to liberals making them eat bug meat or something.
 
Slavic Patronym said:
I know asparagus impacts the smell of urine (in a way most people can't smell actually -- it's a genetic ability), but you're saying it also affects the smell of actual genitals? Is that just because that's where urine comes from?
Click to expand...

Yeah. Not as noticeable, but sweat glands down there will reflect it.

And it also impacts the smell and taste of squirt and allegedly cum (including pre-cum so it’s not like a cum-dodger can just avoid the nut).

Also, there is always a little pee contact and the asparagus / Brussels sprout smell doesn’t just “wipe” off.

I mean there could be worse tastes and smells, and I’ve faced them. But when you put a lot of care into your genital cleanliness and actually enjoy the smell and taste of your partner, a face full of “oh you had bustle sprouts tonight” is kind of a killjoy. So I just find it considerate to avoid those foods if there is a chance of oral activities.
Then again, not everyone is me. I just saw a pic of Scar eating’s EOR’s starfish the other day, Asparagus sounds like heaven compared to that.


Recipe down below for 🧼 🥑 🍆:
no asparagus/sprouts within 48 hours, shower after dookie always (bidet or baby wipes don’t cut it), shave shaft at minimum, scrub ass cheeks, cleft, thighs, torso with charcoal scrub, wash with unscented moisturizes bar soap and lightly loofa scrub, brand new undies (bacteria survive many washings), or no undies at all, no touching dick after applying deodorant, aftershave, cologne, etc until you’ve washed hands with isopropyl alcohol to not transfer perfumed tastes. No moisturizer creams or whole body deodorants,


Dry off after shower with hair dryer

Don’t be gassy

Don’t fart a lot
. I’m not Jordan peterson
 
Last edited:
the khat quaffer said:
Rightly so in my opinion. It's high time that big boned slacker started pulling her weight around here. If ever there was a back that was aching for the lash...

0.5/10 I hate you Jack. Have a stroke you fat fuck. Not even tossing you a view. (thx for archive)

Stop bitching about the price!!! I don't give a FUCK about the price! I mean I do but not enough to listen that long. Fifteen dollars is fine for a fried chicken meal w/ large drink you fucking Christ killer.
This is just a regular combo at Popeye's with a limited time flavor lemonade. I'd toss the cupcake* because I'm not 8 years old. And have they ever given out toys at Popeye's???

You get half a point because Hope showed up in the background. Fucker coulda least made a joke about how idk "hey guise, we got a One Piece two piece chicken combo hehehe [puts left hand over mouth like a schoolgirl]".

*EDP445 has entered the chat
Click to expand...

Addendum

"Broke, immobile fatass begs caretaker to bring home fried chickies, doesn't look up price. Fatass most affected"

He uploads this to JotG. He doesn't go anywhere. He picks up his phone says "TAMMY GIT SUM CHICKEN, BITCH" and waits wobbles into his booster seat at the kitchen table. This is literally Tammy on the Go.
Jack oozing big DSP vibes here: back when PandaLee was dating DSP, she got sick or something and DSP infamously got mad at the nurses or whatever for charging too much for pain medication. He went on a mini rant about how from now on they were no longer allowed to pick her up if she was dying. My recollection is vague but it's the same energy as Jack bitching here about putting a price range restriction on Tammy from now on. Jack you're lucky Tammy is too old to get back on the saddle and search for a real man like Panda did.

Jack has never mentioned liking One Piece. He basically saw LIMITED TIME FRIED CHICKEN and rang Tammy up. Mattera fact his whole stated justification is stupid. "They're selling out like crazy so get it. Plus it's right by our house." Around New Years he admitted to buying some hi-tech gook glasses based solely on the fact that they cost $20. So yeah, Tennessee Fats sees things and has Tammy buy.
"I woulda bought them!!!" then GET IN YOUR SCOOTY PUFF AND SCOOT DOWN TO THE POPEYE'S.
"From now on I gotta be aware [of the price]" not like it's been your job for 20 years you chair moistener
"Lemme help you...make a better meal" = "buy shit at wally world"

Revised score of 0/10.

Tammy is absolutely seething in the background. I swear she's one more bad fried chicken order from pulling a Creepshow Father's Day on Jack.


T/S like a 1:10 or so
 
Uber driver reviewer said:
Why can’t Jack just get DoorDash? Why does he put hammy through all of this driving around for him?
Click to expand...
Why doesn't he just get DD? Bet money it's his LARP as a youtube foodie, business/tax purposes, doesn't wanna tip etc. If it wasn't for going out to eat goy slop or say churchy words to his sky daddy, he'd never leave the house.

Why does he make Tammy drive? Half his body doesn't fucking work. He probably legally cannot drive. Also not enough seatbelt extenders to get his canyonesque ass into the driver's seat.
 
I know Jack has tried to make butter before, but I want to see him make homemade cream cheese. IMG_7256.jpeg IMG_7257.jpeg IMG_7258.jpeg
 
Liquid Jack continues his reign of terror by persisting in being more talented, more personable, more informative, more inviting and more competent in literally every way than Solid (fat) Jack.
 

I like how Jack released a new video today and nobody has talked about it yet. Probably because, per usual, it's boring as fuck. Yet another Combining With Jack video.
 
So I'm almost completely in 100% certain that Jack stole the basic concept of this recipe from something like this.

Once again The pathetic childish attempt to get the attention without putting a lot of work and trying to starve out the haters. Also this isn't really worth it. What you would just do if you had someone that came over all of a sudden who wanted snacks is just crack open like a bag of Cheez-Its or something. Serve that bitch with some cream cheese.
 
Super Hans v2 said:
What are you talking about boring? I choked myself laughing when he pulled out the kitchen shears to cut up the cherry tomatoes.
Click to expand...
I think it's actually one of the funnier things that for whatever reason Jack's instant solution to dealing with tomatoes is to scissor them. Like I really would love to hear him explain why he uses shears instead of knives.
 
Spasticus Autisticus said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=H5_ZAeXCITU
I like how Jack released a new video today and nobody has talked about it yet. Probably because, per usual, it's boring as fuck. Yet another Combining With Jack video.
Click to expand...
"Hey guise how you doing. So, I just fell into an open ditch as evidenced by my shirt."

I've been wondering this for the last few videos, is his right tit hanging lower than the left?

sdfgsgsg.jpg

0:58 nnderrzzcherrmters alright?

Yeah no shit we can't see it you have the FUCKING THING OUT OF THE CAMERA

2:00 Michael Meyers breathing through his mask

I am so glad I have two hands.

3:00 misspells Crab Rangoon. He misspells his own advertisement.

4:50 "i love balls in my mouth btw" "you're gonna love it if you're keto"

4/10 in my book. He did stuff.
 
Spasticus Autisticus said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=H5_ZAeXCITU
I like how Jack released a new video today and nobody has talked about it yet. Probably because, per usual, it's boring as fuck. Yet another Combining With Jack video.
Click to expand...
Fucking Fatty stealing a recipe that probably wasn't all that good to begin with. Everything there looks wrong.

But why does a man who claims to be Italian call it "brushetta"? There's a hard "c" in there and you pronounce the t's making it "broo-skeh-tuh", He' probably also says "expresso" instead of "espresso". I'm not even Italian and I know this.

And of course he needs to say it's "healthy" because it lacks bread. Ignoring the salt, nitrates and fat that goes into making salami.

Even for Fatty this is low effort.

EDIT: double post.

Adamska said:
So I'm almost completely in 100% certain that Jack stole the basic concept of this recipe from something like this.
Click to expand...
That at least looks better. It's got basil for color and flavor, the cups look nicer and she drizzles some real balsamico over it. Personally I would have added a touch of garlic but that's just me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom