💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Shartavius]

I'm not sure Jack's ego could accept that the only reason he gets as many views as he does is because people have to click on his videos at least once to archive them out of refusal to accidentally support him through discussion bringing in ironic views he can monetize. Or that people are only watching those archives because we believe he is stupid enough to accidentally manage to publish footage of his own death.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

How does a guy that calls himself a “chef” believe steakhouses are a good value, when you would think his years of cooking experience would mean he could make it cheaper at home? If you know the very basics of cooking steak, you can do it probably as good as some restaurants. I’m assuming fatty doesn’t know the basics despite his love of meats. The only big difference with the steakhouses is that they might have access to some higher quality meats, which is where part of the price difference comes in, though I personally don’t get the hype around wagu.

Steak is not hard if you know what you are doing, and fatty just admitting to that openly is funny. I’ve seen people that don’t cook often know how to grill a steak properly, as it’s easier than many other cooking techniques. The harder part, in my opinion, is making the sauces for the steak, because if you do it wrong, it can burn or start to separate. That’s another thing I assume fatty can’t do unless the ingredients are all premade beforehand, and don’t require techniques like tempering eggs. Overall, I’d assume any steak fatty would make at home is either way too raw and practically mooing, or way to overdone with the texture of leather; which is why he probably goes out for steak rather than makes it himself, and calls it a “good deal” because basic cooking skills are beyond his comprehension.

I'm probably in the minority but I prefer stovetop to grilling for a steak. That way I can cook it in butter and sautee it while controlling the heat better. Can also pop it in the oven to finish off if it's a thicker steak

 

[the khat quaffer]

Well this was beyond retarded. Fatty honestly thinks AI is making videos all on it's own to push out humans. Guy literally seems to think T2: Judgement Day is real.

And the less said about how "certain races" play into his overt racism the better.

To be fair to the argument (not Jack), a shitton of videos are being churned out of a content farm now and it's becoming fucking insufferable. A lot of my favorite shows have video after video put out often multiple times a day that are AI voices, AI scripts, stock images/clips relevant to the topic, and uploaded soullessly to farm views, and ultimately, money.

Spoiler: old man yells at cloud

The scripts are just regurgitated forms of scripts that other real humans put time and effort into making.
The narration, well, nothing needs to be said here.
The stock footage played while narration goes on? It will be relevant to the show/game/whatever, but it often won't line up with what is being narrated. "And when audiences saw darth vader tell luke he's his father, they collectively GASPED." *cue clip of chewbacca and han on the millennium falcon*
There probably IS/was a human being behind these, but I suspect the human involvement began and ended with laying down the framework then peaceing out and letting the channel run itself while they farm views. Just a suspicion. There is no possible way some of these small channels can be uploading content at the pace and amount they're uploading if a human being is doing it all.

...working back to Jack,

"let's say how...you know how like...a certain nationality will try to get other nationalities fired and get in their relatives? it happens"
Jack wants to say Indians so bad lmao

something something "youtube promotes AI channels"
That's tinfoil hat territory to be sure. I suspect it's more to do with stupid people and third worlders seeing content they like and not seeing a spade for a spade. People keep clicking, so the algorithm keeps promoting. Why do Gordon Ramsay videos keep getting millions of views when his many, MANY channels constantly reupload old episodes? Because stupid people keep clicking.

"Youtube is literally the worst it's ever been"
SO FIX IT.

..."as an income"
Oh. Yeah that's you, Jack. It's not AI. Nobody's stealing & repackaging your content because nobody wants to see your content except trolls and maybe Rob (also troll). You just suck as a creator. Your best videos were from 15 years ago and they were just you being awful. People made more money reacting/making fun of you with one video than you did in an entire year.

I'm not sure Jack's ego could accept that the only reason he gets as many views as he does is because people have to click on his videos at least once to archive them out of refusal to accidentally support him through discussion bringing in ironic views he can monetize. Or that people are only watching those archives because we believe he is stupid enough to accidentally manage to publish footage of his own death.

I toss the fat fuck a view a video just to keep him on life support. The occasional stray Like. But I agree, his is not a sustainable model.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack asserts that steakhouses are "winning" (and also mentions Chili's for some reason). The reasons he gives are that you can't easily cook steaks at home, and steakhouses are a good value.

The fuck is this dumb fat loser even talking about? They're about the easiest possible things to make right. Here, Gordon Ramsay can explain it in less than three minutes.

I don't even think you can call yourself a man if you can't cook a steak.

I'm probably in the minority but I prefer stovetop to grilling for a steak. That way I can cook it in butter and sautee it while controlling the heat better. Can also pop it in the oven to finish off if it's a thicker steak

My current preferred method is sous vide followed by a minute on each side in a screaming hot cast iron skillet. My previous preferred method was the meme-y "reverse sear."

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

The fuck is this dumb fat loser even talking about? They're about the easiest possible things to make right. Here, Gordon Ramsay can explain it in less than three minutes.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AmC9SmCBUj4
I don't even think you can call yourself a man if you can't cook a steak.

My current preferred method is sous vide followed by a minute on each side in a screaming hot cast iron skillet. My previous preferred method was the meme-y "reverse sear."

My only problem with Ramsay's method is that you don't need to take the steak out 20 minutes before cooking. The inside of the steak won't be any warmer from that and the outside doesn't matter because the pan is so hot that any temperature it goes up from sitting at room temp will be dwarfed by what the pan does to it. It's like people who say to wash raw meat... it doesn't matter

Otherwise, that's exactly how I cook it although if it is a thicker steak I'll usually finish it in the oven

 

[Aunt Carol]

Atomic Shrimp (aging Brit who does foraging and simple cooking challenges)...

Aw, man, it's a shame nobody's told Jack about the awe and mystery of Fray Bentos.

 

[Tiresome]

Aw, man, it's a shame nobody's told Jack about the awe and mystery of Fray Bentos.
View attachment 8749860

I guarantee the kidneys in that tin are healthier than Jack's are right now.

 

[souschef]

The thing about Jack, and i might sound preachy about it, is that he has no love for cooking. None. If you want to cook well you have to love it. I always loved it, since i was a piss-pant brat. You get to the stove and you transform ingredients into something delicious for your loved ones, it's a vocation

Jack does it for the youtube money, he's too lazy to actually work. His body of work revolves around "lazy-man's" recipes, bullshit "viral" recipes (that i never seen anywhere online) and AI-driven insane abominations. Being that he has no respect for cooking, he does in the most nigger-ish way possible. What i find hilarious about Jack is that he actually have some acknowledgement for quite a few cooking techniques, but he manages to fuck it up everytime:

Jack sautees veg -> gets boiled veg instead
Jack tempers egg -> gets scrambled egg instead
Jack uses liquor on his food -> just dump 600ml of it on the pan and hope for the best
Jack tries to make a roux -> haphazardly toss obscene amounts of fat with no balance to flour whatsoever

Doesn't care about mise en place, gets everything canned, fuck it. Or get Tammy to chop stuff for him, she's not any good at it either. Then you see the building of recipe, no layering, no technique, nothing. It's the uncanny valley of cuisine, there's some vague resemblance to a proper process, but it never comes together

What is amazing is that his mistakes are so NOVICE level, that if he was to get some serious mentoring, in one afternoon his cooking could be fixed. One afternoon, not exaggerating. Cooking is a science, and shit can go horribly wrong regardless of how little your mistake was

But he is allergic to self criticism. I've seen him recognizing that he fucked up once or twice. Everything else is "delicious". Fucking your way up to success is the key to cook well, it's the required road to go. I fuck up to this day, my chefs fuck up, their chefs also fuck up, in 40 years we'll still be fucking something up, but unlike Jack, we use this as a window to the past to learn from this mistakes, understanding what went wrong and avoiding it in the future

Jack will die doing this, never actually being able to take pride in making a coherent, presentable dish with his own flair. His tomb will be like this, high in sodium and covered in shreddy cheese

 

[Adamska]

The Adpocalypse was like 10 years ago and he's only finding out about it now?

I think I know why Fat Jack is seething on this. He's been putting "effort" into fudnews, he's "reconfigured" his cookin, and other things and expected it to take off in entitlement and delusion. It hasn't, and now he's angy that it hasn't. He also may have lost some of his old fud videos to demonetization too, which is affecting him.

Either that or Tammy is forcing him to limit what he can blow money on for fud now because his metrics are eating shit, which always gets him pissy.

The thing about Jack, and i might sound preachy about it, is that he has no love for cooking. None. If you want to cook well you have to love it. I always loved it, since i was a piss-pant brat. You get to the stove and you transform ingredients into something delicious for your loved ones, it's a vocation

It also doesn't help that he clearly stopped even pretending to give a shit after he lost his arm. He used to actually try things slightly outside of his comfort zone in CA, but now it's all the same meat-n-cheese piles of endless slop.

He doesn't want to quit since it's the one thing he has to brag about. But like he also can't stand how people make fun of him. So it's a cycle of trying to be so shit no one watches him. Even though he wants the attention.

Cluster B headcase cows are a fucking trip.

 

[p1138]

The thing about Jack, and i might sound preachy about it, is that he has no love for cooking. None. If you want to cook well you have to love it. I always loved it, since i was a piss-pant brat. You get to the stove and you transform ingredients into something delicious for your loved ones, it's a vocation

Eh... I don't know about that. I think you can cook well and not have to love cooking. There's shit I'd rather be doing than cooking, but I'll still do it because I know I can and it usually works because I understand basic concepts.

You have to remember that for Fatty, he doesn't like cooking. Cooking is the journey, he wants to get to the destination as quickly as possible which means meat and grease in his gut. If he could get away with not cooking and simply ordering takeout and fast food all the time he would, but he can't afford that. The cooking show and fat on the go are entirely a LARP so they can claim the money spent on food as business expenses to avoid paying taxes on that portion of their income, and at this point just to keep Fatty busy with something to do. That's it.

 

[souschef]

Eh... I don't know about that. I think you can cook well and not have to love cooking. There's shit I'd rather be doing than cooking, but I'll still do it because I know I can and it usually works because I understand basic concepts.

You have to remember that for Fatty, he doesn't like cooking. Cooking is the journey, he wants to get to the destination as quickly as possible which means meat and grease in his gut. If he could get away with not cooking and simply ordering takeout and fast food all the time he would, but he can't afford that. The cooking show and fat on the go are entirely a LARP so they can claim the money spent on food as business expenses to avoid paying taxes on that portion of their income, and at this point just to keep Fatty busy with something to do. That's it.

Nah, i reiterate. You have to have love for it. Otherwise you won't go through all the labor to master it. It's different than just being able to whip up a decent meal, i'm talking about it as a craft, but i'm only going in that direction because Jack fancies himself a cooking influencer

I know some people that dislike cooking and cook very well, but their case is not the norm, as they're professionals that got burned out by the profession, that happens

Like you said, Jack likes to gorge himself with food. And yep, it's a larp, a very lengthy one at that, because he's almost 2 decades in and won't even bother to fix his simple and avoidable mistakes. There's plenty of youtuber chefs that gave him positive criticism and feedback without mocking him and he didn't give a fuck. He disrespects the craft, his viewers, and should be awarded with no respect

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The harder part, in my opinion, is making the sauces for the steak, because if you do it wrong, it can burn or start to separate.

That's if you're making a pan sauce which, with a few ingredients, can really add something. Take it a step farther and make a Bearnaise sauce and that's next level.

But Fatty? He just pours some shitty BBQ sauce on it and calls it a day. Ironically not his sauce I might add.

I'm probably in the minority but I prefer stovetop to grilling for a steak. That way I can cook it in butter and sautee it while controlling the heat better. Can also pop it in the oven to finish off if it's a thicker steak

They both have their advantages. Cooking a steak over real hardwood is awesome. Cooking a steak in a cast iron pan means you can really build up that crust on it. And the bonus is a bit of red wine to deglaze, add cream and freshly cracked pepper and you can make a killer peppercorn sauce to go over top.

A lot of my favorite shows have video after video put out often multiple times a day that are AI voices, AI scripts, stock images/clips relevant to the topic, and uploaded soullessly to farm views, and ultimately, money.

Oh yeah I've seen those. At first I wasn't sure but the more I looked at that guy sitting in the corner talking absolute bullshit I knew it was 100% AI generated. But beyond that there's still a person behind it all churning them out. It's just AI is doing all the heavy lifting. Fatty is acting like AI is sentient and taking over Youtube.

My current preferred method is sous vide followed by a minute on each side in a screaming hot cast iron skillet.

That is a good way to do it. My favorite? Get a chimney starter for your charcoal and fill it to the top. Light it and get those coals cherry red and hot. Stick a grate over top to get it nice and hot and finish the steaks that way. Thirty seconds per side, flip twice and get that diamond pattern on them. The bonus is you get some of the smoke from the coals which adds flavor.

You have to have love for it. Otherwise you won't go through all the labor to master it. It's different than just being able to whip up a decent meal, i'm talking about it as a craft, but i'm only going in that direction because Jack fancies himself a cooking influencer

To be a chef and work in a kitchen you have to love it and for all my love of food and eating it I couldn't work in a kitchen. I trained as a chef. I went to culinary school and everything and I found out quite quickly that I didn't love doing it. I gained a lot of knowledge and technique. I can whip up a seven course meal all by myself. But I don't like cooking and I could never work in a kitchen. It's too hot, too stressful and I'd rather cook for friends and family who appreciate it than doing 100 covers for people who couldn't care less.

 

[souschef]

To be a chef and work in a kitchen you have to love it and for all my love of food and eating it I couldn't work in a kitchen. I trained as a chef. I went to culinary school and everything and I found out quite quickly that I didn't love doing it. I gained a lot of knowledge and technique. I can whip up a seven course meal all by myself. But I don't like cooking and I could never work in a kitchen. It's too hot, too stressful and I'd rather cook for friends and family who appreciate it than doing 100 covers for people who couldn't care less.

It's a vocation for sure. A chef before all is a managerial position where you have to lead a team, there are good chefs that aren't really good at cooking

But in all cases a good chef is a good teacher, and you have to love teaching. Jack doesn't. He teaches nothing... besides the fact that there's nothing to teach on his videos, he just wants to show case the laziest shit in order to get money. I don't think he's smart enough to realize 90% of his views are from hate watchers

 

[p1138]

Nah, i reiterate. You have to have love for it. Otherwise you won't go through all the labor to master it.

Well now you're saying "master it" before it was "to cook well" There is a massive gulf of difference between statements like those.

 

[souschef]

Well now you're saying "master it" before it was "to cook well" There is a massive gulf of difference between statements like those.

Don't get fresh with me, it's clear what i meant

 

[p1138]

Don't get fresh with me, it's clear what i meant

No, it wasn't actually. No one is expecting youtube cooking channels to be michelin star chefs, or even remotely close(even though many of them are pretentious enough to think they are). And as @Falcon Sebben pointed out, cooking for yourself and family isn't the same as cooking in a restaurant environment.

 

[souschef]

No, it wasn't actually. No one is expecting youtube cooking channels to be michelin star chefs, or even remotely close(even though many of them are pretentious enough to think they are). And as @Falcon Sebben pointed out, cooking for yourself and family isn't the same as cooking in a restaurant environment.

Ok, let me rephrase it then: master a craft to justify having a cooking show. Better now? I don't hold Jack to a Michelin level because it's ludicrous to put both of those things on the same phrase. I don't think average is cooking well, i'm sorry. I hold the bar high in Jack's case for the amount of hubris he displays. He fancies himself a professional, he tried to sell his show to TV! So if he wants the praise he'll get the scrutiny, it goes with the territory

 

[Tiresome]

Thirty seconds per side, flip twice and get that diamond pattern on them. The bonus is you get some of the smoke from the coals which adds flavor.

Even better, soak a small handful of your preferred wood chips and toss them on the coals right before the steaks go on the grill. Tiny bit more effort and you get something real special.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He fancies himself a professional, he tried to sell his show to TV!

That was younger Fatty when he still had some life in him and two working arms. Seeing him now almost makes me wish for a time when he tried new things and wasn't so dead inside.

Almost. The man is rotten to the core and deserves all the hate he gets.

Even better, soak a small handful of your preferred wood chips and toss them on the coals right before the steaks go on the grill. Tiny bit more effort and you get something real special.

Interesting. Might have to try that next time.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

0:53 "I have a few thoughts" ...he says less than fuck all for the next ~2 minutes. He says "I don't know" like three times. This was a literal nothingburger video. These wet shart food news videos used to consist of him gurgling news articles...he couldn't even do that.

I don't know what PR campaign he's talking about and a brief web search yields nothing. Some bullshit about a new customer-created whopper. Given that he didn't mindlessly read off an article, it's possible he is just farting in the wind.

I go to burger king all the time. Well, I used to. I'm a burger pauper these days. Anyways never been disappointed at BK. I don't even have to tell them to do the fries crispy.


https://youtube.com/watch?v=Jml38FcnQOg:197
3:17.

Spoiler: not really worth archiving

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY 2019!!.mp4

Jack isn’t doing news. There is zero analysis here, He’s reading press release headlines out of mainstream news (rather than primary sources or industry journals) and when challenged with anything he can’t meatgasm to, he pulls the “I dunnah know what dat is allabowt…”


Jack is not doing his own research. He’s reading what some junior level marketing clown shat out for his frat buddy on the editorial board of Franchise Times asked for, and then got picked up by the Washington post on a slow new day.