💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7qNB91qusc8

Spoiler: archive

Burger King's New Honest Stance ｜ What Changed？ [7qNB91qusc8].mp4

0:53 "I have a few thoughts" ...he says less than fuck all for the next ~2 minutes. He says "I don't know" like three times. This was a literal nothingburger video. These wet shart food news videos used to consist of him gurgling news articles...he couldn't even do that.

I don't know what PR campaign he's talking about and a brief web search yields nothing. Some bullshit about a new customer-created whopper. Given that he didn't mindlessly read off an article, it's possible he is just farting in the wind.

I go to burger king all the time. Well, I used to. I'm a burger pauper these days. Anyways never been disappointed at BK. I don't even have to tell them to do the fries crispy.

Eating all the frog legs was one of his signature dick moves. They take effort to collect. They're small. They have very little meat on them. And this fat son of a bitch ate them all.

3:17.

Spoiler: not really worth archiving

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He followed that up with a second FUD NUS, this one just as pointless as the last.

Jack asserts that steakhouses are "winning" (and also mentions Chili's for some reason). The reasons he gives are that you can't easily cook steaks at home, and steakhouses are a good value. Oh, and you get a lot of meat. But then he contradicts himself by pointing out that steakhouses are expensive. He invites the audience to give him reasons for why he thinks the way he does.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

They're small. They have very little meat on them. And this fat son of a bitch ate them all.

I've had them before and I don't really get the appeal.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7qNB91qusc8

Spoiler: archive

Burger King's New Honest Stance ｜ What Changed？ [7qNB91qusc8].mp4

The fuck is this faggot going on about? He's saying words but he's making no sense. At this point I don't think even fatty knows what he's talking about.

He followed that up with a second FUD NUS, this one just as pointless as the last.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=cnprmCi9QfA
Jack asserts that steakhouses are "winning" (and also mentions Chili's for some reason). The reasons he gives are that you can't easily cook steaks at home, and steakhouses are a good value. Oh, and you get a lot of meat. But then he contradicts himself by pointing out that steakhouses are expensive. He invites the audience to give him reasons for why he thinks the way he does.

If you can't easily cook a steak at home you don't know what you're doing.

No, you don't go to steakhouses now because steaks are fucking expensive.

 

[souschef]

??

View attachment 8738680

That's multiple organ failure jack...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7uXjnNZzHaQ

I just skipped to the cooking, don't know if it's the "social media" recipe or the "AI" one. Could be one of another, it doesn't matter, because the steps are nonsensical nonetheless

1 - Right off the bat, 80% of his ingredients are canned and preserves. Not a good look

2 - There's no browning on this meat whatsoever, and even if there was any, all wasted because he didn't even layered his cooking, no residue deglazed from the pans, a rookie mistake and a waste

3 - Just soaking everything in beer, no flavor building, no reduction, no shame, no nothing

4 - Chucking everything together in his fancy cooker, he learned NOTHING since his rotten brisked chili many years ago

5 - Peanut butter? What the fuck are you even doing? Peanuts, and many other nuts, are a good ingredient in many dishes. Peanut butter however adds no complexity to this besides FAT

6 - Four hours of simmering and it's a watery mess. Topped with, guess what, sawdust flavored shreddy cheese

7 - Goes for the spoonful in the most disgusting way possible, dribbling food from his mouth, and proceeding to describe spicy food as spicy. Insightful as always

8 - Tammy groans in disgust, but not as much as me watching this declaration of war against Mexico

Mexican cuisine is notorious for being spicy, but colorful and fresh. This feels sterile and disgusting. A jeet would fare better. A fourth stroke couldn't come soon enough, however i wish not death against Jack Scalfani because this goes against my religion, just a bolt from beyond that'll keep him away from a kitchen and spare the world from his atrocities

I rate this tenebroso/10 and wouldn't eat

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Mexican cuisine is notorious for being spicy, but colorful and fresh.

Truer words have never been said.

Mexican is all about bold flavors with lots of veggies.

Fatty just wants meat and shreddy cheese.

 

[Shartavius]

More than anything, he seems to want another stroke.

 

[p1138]

2 - There's no browning on this meat whatsoever, and even if there was any, all wasted because he didn't even layered his cooking, no residue deglazed from the pans, a rookie mistake and a waste

Remember, this is the retard who normally cooks things to be simultaneously burnt and raw. Anything other than a single steak and he'll just overcrowd the pan until he's just boiling the meat. I haven't watched the video yet, but I'm just guessing this is what happened.

Ok now that I've checked, yep he just overcrowded the pan causing it to lose too much heat too quickly and just boiled it once all of the moisture sweated out initially.

3 - Just soaking everything in beer, no flavor building, no reduction, no shame, no nothing

4 - Chucking everything together in his fancy cooker, he learned NOTHING since his rotten brisked chili many years ago

It's not even just the rotten brisket chili he likely still thinks should have won. It's the fact that he hasn't simply learned nothing over the years regarding cooking, he's gotten worse.

5 - Peanut butter? What the fuck are you even doing? Peanuts, and many other nuts, are a good ingredient in many dishes. Peanut butter however adds no complexity to this besides FAT

Because Fatty knows nothing. All of the other shit in his bean soup will just completely overpower any flavor that peanutbutter could provide, and of course there's no amount of it that could have been added to that crock pot that would make any sense and be anything detectable other than by someone with a peanut allergy.

 

[AltisticRight]

??

View attachment 8738680

I thought I was having a stroke as I read that.

 

[ZipDisk]

I got a facebook notification he was doing burder wars again. I don't even follow jack, I think I clicked a carol anne once by accident while logged in.

Either way being reminded he was alive pissed me off. Fucker.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Peanut butter? What the fuck are you even doing? Peanuts, and many other nuts, are a good ingredient in many dishes. Peanut butter however adds no complexity to this besides FAT

I love how peanuts are such a common allergen, yet he adds them to this food that no one would expect them to be in. Can you imagine having a severe peanut allergy and scarfing down some chili, just to have someone reveal it had peanut butter in it!

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack is the kind of person who thinks individuals with peanut allergies should die quietly so the world can move on from them, not reflecting on his own negative impact on the world... ever.

 

[densedance]

What changed? You barely scrape by the fucking numbers, how did you expect to get a livable income from that you retard

 

[the khat quaffer]

I thought I was having a stroke as I read that.

For me it was the "are your mouth and leg connected?". Like what?? Physically? Some kinda involuntary reaction thing like with the patellar (knee-jerk) reflex?
If it's the former case, well technically, but...no.
The latter...NOOOOOO.

It's not even just the rotten brisket chili he likely still thinks should have won. It's the fact that he hasn't simply learned nothing over the years regarding cooking, he's gotten worse.

Well he no longer uses (or admits to using) 14 month-old brisket in his dishes. The chili ones anyways.
Now some might see that as, "he stopped being a retarded, homicidal maniac". For Jack, I see it as genuine improvement.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

What changed? You barely scrape by the fucking numbers, how did you expect to get a livable income from that you retard


View attachment 8748881

Doesn't fatty now get like 3000 views per video and like 90% of those are people like us?

 

[the khat quaffer]

What changed? You barely scrape by the fucking numbers, how did you expect to get a livable income from that you retard


View attachment 8748881

What changed? It's ALWAYS changing! A month on this platform is an eternity. You're a youtube dinosaur that's been lumbering around on life support.
Crucially, you've been doing this twenty years, but you have no clue. That should tell it all.

• You have half a million subs on your main. Very impressive, but you rarely pull more than, at best, a few thousand views per new upload.
• You diversified your output into like a dozen channels (most never/rarely updated) and even more onto other venues. Your empire isn't big enough for that, Jack. I'm not checking any of that other shit to find out what one-armed one-balled shenanigans you're up to that week.
• You're just not that interesting and you're a supremely boring man and wife couple uploading wet sharts out of necessity rather than inspiration.
• You're kind of a piece of shit on twitter and your views on current events are five time zones behind your own ass.
• You have embraced AI trends, which are extremely despised, in the most aesthetically displeasing way possible. The worst of both worlds.

Look at a comparable youtuber (age- and content-wise): Townsends. Nice, oldish white guy. Talks about food, albeit from an 1700s era. Little to no AI in his thumbnails, interesting content, suuper nice in his delivery. Does guest stars, seemingly only has one side channel, doesn't have a million stupid links in his description, likely has a small team helping him put out videos. Regularly pulls in 100k+ views per vid.

Did I mention Rob

The money's not horrible, Jack. It's something else. You can't cook, you can't film, you can't edit, what else is there to say. You're an entertaining fuckup and that's all you've got going for you. Some ween will toss you a fiver now and then in livestreams and that's all you're gonna get.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What changed? You barely scrape by the fucking numbers, how did you expect to get a livable income from that you retard

People with fewer subscribers than Jack manage to make a modest living off YouTube, or at least use that income to build a nest egg or improve their channel. This beluga-headed moron has failed to deliver quality content for nearly two decades, and wonders why his dozen channels make less money in a month than the average storm drain. I follow a few culinary-adjacent YouTubers, and all of them seem to be doing well despite producing niche content: Townsends (18th century food and living), Ordinary Sausage (shitposting through the medium of food), Atomic Shrimp (aging Brit who does foraging and simple cooking challenges)... meanwhile, Gurgly here can't even find a few thousand people to sincerely watch him follow a recipe stolen from trending TikTok videos.

 

[semitooth]

Spoiler: archive: "Morning Moment - AI vs YouTube"

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What changed? You barely scrape by the fucking numbers, how did you expect to get a livable income from that you retard


View attachment 8748881

The Adpocalypse was like 10 years ago and he's only finding out about it now?

Not that he gets a lot of views but this is slow even for Fatty. Or he's trying to play it like he's been raking in the money making him seem like he's more important than he really is.

EDIT: To avoid double posting.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zjEwZSvhHVA

Spoiler: archive: "Morning Moment - AI vs YouTube"

Morning Moment - AI vs YouTube [zjEwZSvhHVA].mp4

Well this was beyond retarded. Fatty honestly thinks AI is making videos all on it's own to push out humans. Guy literally seems to think T2: Judgement Day is real.

And the less said about how "certain races" play into his overt racism the better.

 

[JambledUpWords]

The reasons he gives are that you can't easily cook steaks at home, and steakhouses are a good value.

How does a guy that calls himself a “chef” believe steakhouses are a good value, when you would think his years of cooking experience would mean he could make it cheaper at home? If you know the very basics of cooking steak, you can do it probably as good as some restaurants. I’m assuming fatty doesn’t know the basics despite his love of meats. The only big difference with the steakhouses is that they might have access to some higher quality meats, which is where part of the price difference comes in, though I personally don’t get the hype around wagu.

Steak is not hard if you know what you are doing, and fatty just admitting to that openly is funny. I’ve seen people that don’t cook often know how to grill a steak properly, as it’s easier than many other cooking techniques. The harder part, in my opinion, is making the sauces for the steak, because if you do it wrong, it can burn or start to separate. That’s another thing I assume fatty can’t do unless the ingredients are all premade beforehand, and don’t require techniques like tempering eggs. Overall, I’d assume any steak fatty would make at home is either way too raw and practically mooing, or way to overdone with the texture of leather; which is why he probably goes out for steak rather than makes it himself, and calls it a “good deal” because basic cooking skills are beyond his comprehension.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

The Adpocalypse was like 10 years ago and he's only finding out about it now?

Not that he gets a lot of views but this is slow even for Fatty. Or he's trying to play it like he's been raking in the money making him seem like he's more important than he really is.

Well this was beyond retarded. Fatty honestly thinks AI is making videos all on it's own to push out humans. Guy literally seems to think T2: Judgement Day is real.

And the less said about how "certain races" play into his overt racism the better.

Jack has complained about YouTube payouts in the past but usually in an indirect way. This is probably the first time that he's practically admitted that his videos are performing poorly. Of course, he can't bring himself to think that the problem might be that his content is low-effort trash that nobody wants to watch. Instead he comes up with some insane conspiracy theory that AI is now sentient in the form of the YouTube algorithm and is systematically discriminating against humans. The lengths that this guy will go through to avoid facing the fact that his "career" is over would be worthy of pity if he wasn't such a piece of shit.