Culture Grandparents are glued to their phones, families are worried - "Think of the children!" more like, "think of the boomers!"

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In a recent essay for The Atlantic, writer Charlie Warzel explored why so many older adults are spending more time on their digital devices — and why their children and grandchildren are increasingly uneasy about it.

But is this shift actually worth worrying about? Or are younger people just projecting their own anxieties about screen time onto their parents and grandparents?

Katty Kay speaks with Charlie Warzel about his piece and the complicated questions it raises about family relationships, technology, and loneliness among older adults.

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The Phone-Based Retirement Is Here

Do your parents have a screen-time problem?

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A friend of mine had just traveled across the country to see his family when he texted me, deeply concerned. The chaos of holiday travel is always a drag, but usually, it was offset by getting a break and watching his kids spend quality time with their grandparents. But this year was different, he said: “They were just absorbed in their phones a lot of the time, and distant.” He wasn’t talking about the kids, but the grandparents.

I’ve heard similar anecdotes in recent years—adult children worried about their parents slipping into screen addiction as they age. Stories like this pervade the internet. (One representative thread from the Millennials Subreddit: “Are all of our parents addicted to their phones?”) These accounts are striking in part because they mirror the concerns parents have been expressing for years about their children—that young minds are being influenced and warped by devices designed to seize and capitalize on their attention. Screen-time panics typically position children as being without agency, completely at the mercy of evil tech companies that adults must intervene to defend against. But a version of the problem exists on the opposite side of the age spectrum, too: instead of a phone-based childhood, a phone-based retirement.

Over the past year, I asked people to share their stories with me. “I am constantly begging my mom to put her phone down, every time I see her she is just mindlessly scrolling. I swear her attention span is GONE,” one person wrote. Another described a parent as “playing Candy Crush for hours while the grandkids fight for a spot on her lap to play with her because that’s ‘spending time together.’”

Some described what sounded like an omnipresent sensory assault: “Visiting my folks is very often two TVs blaring in different parts of the house while everyone scrolls their ipads/phones,” one person wrote. Many of the messages were quite blunt: “I’ve had to tell my boomer parents not to be glued to their iPads around our 3yr old.”

Many people messaged me privately to express real concern. Most asked me not to use their full name, as they did not want to speak publicly about their family members. Josh, who lives in Ohio, said his father is consumed by vertical-video content on Instagram and TikTok. “I definitely think it’s more of a coping thing with him,” he said. “He has depression and bad anxiety. Trying to get him to turn to better hobbies.”

Others were concerned about scams. “Worry more about him online than I do my 11 yo,” a man named Conor said. “Every time I go back home I have to take my dad’s iPhone and unsubscribe him from the myriad of scam virus scanning subscription apps he’s been duped into downloading from an ad in some word game or something. Had to turn off his ability to download apps from the App Store as a preventative measure.” One person who wished to remain totally anonymous said their parent had been spending inordinate amounts of time on Instagram and accidentally reposting NSFW videos to their feed and soothing themselves with brain-rot AI-slop content.

These stories aren’t just anecdotal: Older people really are spending more time online, according to various research, and their usage has been moving in that direction for years. In 2019, the Pew Research Center found that people 60 and older “now spend more than half of their daily leisure time, four hours and 16 minutes, in front of screens,” many watching online videos. A lot of this seems to be happening on YouTube: This year, Nielsen reported that adults 65 and up now watch YouTube on their TVs nearly twice as much as they did two years ago. A recent survey of Americans over 50 revealed that “the average respondent spends a collective 22 hours per week in front of some type of screen.” And one 2,000-person survey of adults aged 59 to 77 showed that 40 percent of respondents felt “anxious or uncomfortable without access” to their device.

But usage surveys do not capture the nuance of a person’s relationship with their device. It is easy to retreat to broad stereotypes about older adults—to suggest that they’re illiterate when it comes to social media or confused by new technology, or to see them as dupes for scams. Reality is far more complicated, Ipsit Vahia, the chief of geriatric psychiatry at Mass General Brigham’s McLean Hospital and the director of its Technology and Aging Laboratory, told me.

“There is just a fundamental error in the way we think about older adults, where we classify everyone 65 and over as this one kind of block,” he said. Not only are the elderly not a monolithic group, but as Vahia argues, the older a generation gets, the more diverse that generation is. As he sees it, two 5-year-olds are going to have more in common by default than two 87-year-olds are likely to: The older you get, the more opportunities you have for different experiences, and to develop different habits and perspectives. “Our rule of thumb is that if you’ve met one older adult, well, you’ve met one older adult.”

Many of today’s screen-time concerns are rooted in the coronavirus pandemic, which drove a noticeable uptick in tech adoption among seniors. “When the alternative is isolation, then the technology becomes a very powerful, positive force,” Vahia said. In many cases, he notes, Zoom was the on-ramp. In the early days of the pandemic, families started having Zoom reunions, and churches began Zoom services. The technology became useful for telehealth appointments. All of this helped some older people become more confident using these technologies.

The thing to remember is that not all screen use is equal, especially among older people. Some research suggests that spending time on devices may be linked to better cognitive function for people over 50. Word games, information sleuthing, instructional videos, and even just chatting with friends can provide positive stimuli. Vahia suggests that online habits that might be concerning for young or middle-aged people ought to be considered differently for older generations. “High technology use in teenagers and adolescents is often associated with worse mental health and is a predictor of sort of more isolation and loneliness, even depression,” he told me. “Whereas in older adults, engaging in technology seems to be protecting them from isolation and loneliness.”

And yet many of the technology-use examples Vahia offered seemed somewhat idealized. Epic Words With Friends sessions or productive Wikipedia binges clearly fall in the less-problematic camp. But many of the people I’d heard from described device spirals that seemed far more depressing. One person who identified herself as a nurse working in the United Kingdom, and who asked not to be identified because she was not authorized to speak about patients, told me in a direct message that in her inpatient ward, many of her older patients are trapped in a cycle of “excessive scrolling,” where “the amount of slop they consume on phones and iPads is unreal!”

“Some of it is fairly benign,” she said. “And sometimes it’s actually been pretty funny, like when folks end up in an autoplay cul-de-sac of Chinese language videos.” But the negative effects “are bleeding through more,” she said. She pointed to virulent anti-immigration content, “and the conspiracy thinking and medical distrust, too.” Spend enough time on Facebook or Instagram and you can probably spot this dynamic in action. It looks like confused comments on AI-slop images from people who don’t appear to recognize that what they’re seeing is fake. It looks like hyperpartisan pages feeding generated images depicting minorities committing crimes reshared by concerned users who appear to be getting more fearful, paranoid, or polarized. It looks like scams from fake accounts pretending to be a bank or loan provider or a lonely man with some 30 female AI chatbot companions.

Even here, Vahia urged against moral panic: When I brought up the idea of older people soft-brain scrolling AI slop on Facebook all day, he suggested a meaningful difference between active and passive consumption. Who’s to say that every old person is necessarily being fooled by slop? Maybe they’re making fun of it together or trying to figure out what’s real and what isn’t. “Slop as giving people a common thing to talk about that might not have too many common things to talk about—now that’s a little more nuanced, isn’t it?” he said.

Maybe so. There’s certainly a bit of projection happening. The anxieties I heard from people who reached out to me—the anxiety I myself have felt—seem rooted in our own tortured relationships with our devices. Many of us are constantly concerned about what we’re consuming, how much we’re scrolling, and the subtle ways we’re all being pushed, prodded, and manipulated online. And we map our individual worries onto others, fair or not.

But Shrimp Jesus and synthetic videos of ICE agents arresting people are meant to confuse or enrage users, along with all the other clickbait clogging social platforms. True, we shouldn’t assume that older people are dupes, but this is a system run by tech giants that reward engagement, not quality: For people with more free time than they know what to do with, who may already be struggling with isolation or other mental-health issues, the glowing screen may be an irresistible temptation.

When I asked Vahia about the holiday elder-scrolling phenomenon that I’d heard so much about, he encouraged me to look at it from a different perspective. “Yes, you observe it when you meet them during the holidays,” he said. “But the problem is you’re not there the rest of the time. Their phones are a big part of their lives, for better or worse, and your arrival is actually the disruption.”

It’s worth considering, he argues, what the phone is doing when nobody is around. Is it preventing a loved one from sinking into depression? Is it giving them a tether to the world around them? Are they happier with the world in their pocket or on their tablet than they might be without it? Algorithms complicate human agency, but some people may want to spend their golden years on their phone consuming an endless scroll of entertainment. Who’s to judge?

This is a muddled mess. The same tools that are keeping some people connected to reality are blurring the lines of what is real for others. But rather than rush to judgment, younger people should use their concern to open up a conversation—to put down the phones and talk.




Now that's quite the spin from the "think of the children" narrative.

My anecdotal evidence is that my mom is hooked on doomscrolling on Faceberg and she barely takes a break. As a result, she takes almost EVERYTHING at face value, not a second of critical thinking. Then again, they had the same attitude towards cable TV, 20 years ago... it's just a smaller screen now.
 
But please keep in mind many at this time of life are very lonely people, that phone may be all they have. You see another manifestation of this when some people at this time of life take extra time in the checkout line to talk to the cashier, that may be about all the human contact they get that day.
What's sad is that nowadays a lot of the interactions these older people get online are just plain fake OR fake and scammy. At least the cashier is actually real... Okay I'm getting depressed now
 
My boomer relatives doomscroll endlessly. They TV will be blasting and they'll be doomscrolling. I guess smartphones are so addictive even the elderly can't resist the pull.
 
Like kids these days. When I was a kid, kids usually could play outside freely. Nowadays, parents always have to tag along if kids play outside. "iPad kids" are a thing now.
When I was a kid, in the summer we'd eat breakfast, go fuck around outside at a park about a mile away, ride our bikes all over creation, or go down in the woods doing shit that could (and sometimes did) get you seriously injured, go to someone's house for lunch, sometimes our own, more often just whoever's house we ended up on that day, go back outside to fuck around some more, and be out until dark.

The last kids to have a childhood like that were the Millenials born in the early 90s, and ironically, they're the most overprotective bunch of faggots I've ever seen. They aren't letting their children learn about the world on their own terms, which is something kids really need to do if they're going to grow up with an appropriate tolerance for risk and become well-rounded, non-pussified adults.
 
My boomer relatives doomscroll endlessly. They TV will be blasting and they'll be doomscrolling. I guess smartphones are so addictive even the elderly can't resist the pull.
Ya, don't watch TV, either. Simply cannot stand to watch shit that makes me dumber. Watch a lot of documentaries and the like on YouTube.

Believe it or not, TV has been called a 'vast wasteland' as early as the 1960s, and nothing has happened between then and today to disabuse anyone of that notion.
 
The last kids to have a childhood like that were the Millenials born in the early 90s, and ironically, they're the most overprotective bunch of faggots I've ever seen. They aren't letting their children learn about the world on their own terms, which is something kids really need to do if they're going to grow up with an appropriate tolerance for risk and become well-rounded, non-pussified adults.
What kind of wondrous outside world can parents release their kids to explore in the year 2026?

Live in urban area, go outside, skip over sidewalk needles and trash to get assaulted by homeless and shitskins.
Live in rural area, go outside, see nothing but crumbling infrastructure and drugged out trailer trash.
Live in suburban area, go outside, malls have closed down, nothing to do, all the other kids are hiding at home on their computers.
Go to school, education system spends more time indoctrinating you into globalism and feminism than teaching practical skills.
Go to publicly funded community centers for kids, they turn out to be money laundering operations for the local gangs to recruit new members.
Go to church, the female pastor is lecturing you about how Jesus commands Christians to donate to refugee NGOs releasing 1 million shitskins in your country every year.
Fine. Sit at home on the computer... get groomed to become a suicidal tranny by pedos on the internet.
 
There's an older member in my family like this, worst is when they play some slop video at max volume regardless of surroundings. There was also some niggress doing it on public transport a few weeks back. Said before, but I think a lot of the phenomenons attributed to Gen Z tend to affect older generations just as badly.
 
Ya, don't watch TV, either. Simply cannot stand to watch shit that makes me dumber. Watch a lot of documentaries and the like on YouTube.

Believe it or not, TV has been called a 'vast wasteland' as early as the 1960s, and nothing has happened between then and today to disabuse anyone of that notion.
I think there are gems here and there... old star trek, 70s show, and others. Problem is the amount of competent people you need for a good show is crippling. Its why when something works everyone clings to it till it falls apart.

I don't see elderly people being online as being some nightmare scenario. It isn't just your body that starts to go but your mind as well. The problem is there isn't really any drive to check who is all there and who isn't past 60.
 
MY GRANDFATHER IS PULLING FAT STACKS
ON HIS PHONE, WHILE ON DIALISYS
HE AINT AFRAID OF NO EVIL EDDIE
GRANDMOTHERS BE AWARE
 
Just wish now that normal people spend as much damn time on the internet as us computer types that they'd realize there's interesting stuff you can do here.
Well, there used to be a lot more interesting stuff, but corporate conglomeration and social media put a stop to that.
 
There's an older member in my family like this, worst is when they play some slop video at max volume regardless of surroundings. There was also some niggress doing it on public transport a few weeks back. Said before, but I think a lot of the phenomenons attributed to Gen Z tend to affect older generations just as badly.
Boomers have some of the worse etiquette about the online videos and music. I see the IPad kids watching a video, ok fine it’s a 3 year old. Head or earphones are just not a thing with them.
 
Once you hit 60 you really need to turn off the news. The old people in my life are whirled into a frenzy over the news at a higher rate than my peers (aka the people who will actually face consequences for current events.) The ones not on their phones have the news blaring every waking hour.

My grandma lives in the middle of nowhere on a farm she was born on on. She's traveled no where, done nothing other than raise some kids. She is nearing 90 with dementia and all she does is bemoan Trump. She gets uneasy when I don't allow her to have the news on when I am visiting. I tell her to watch the farm outside and make stuff. (Her and many boomers I know used to cross stitch, etc and now all they do is watch the news.) She says she needs to know what is happening RIGHT NOW. It's like 90% of people over 60 are like that old woman in Requiem for Dream. It's so twisted and there's pretty much nothing we can do about it other than maybe a mass culling.
My Silent Gen grandmother reminds me of this in more ways than one. Likewise, the last time my uncle was visiting, my father and him were carrying on a conversation while they were staring into their phones the whole time. These sorts of people the article and a number of us are describing (though not all) seem to talk like they're in movie trailers as well if you stop and pay attention.
 
Had a medical appointment this morning at the VA. There were three other guys in the waiting room, two my age or older. All three were engrossed in their phones. Mine wasn't even on, preferred to use the time to think.
 
I have a strong distaste for older generations, they act like know-it-alls when they've lived in the same place and grew up/interacted with the same people for their entire lives. You couldn't get a boomer to tell their ass from their head if it's what they've been taught since childhood, this applies to most things that are about "life in general", i.e Not tech related, let me give you an example:

"Hey, that chirp means the alarm battery's low"

"Oh no no no no, it's just programmed that way!"

For as bad as the Internet and internet have been for society, they've taken experience that would've taken a lifetime to earn and let you get it in like, 5 years.
My parents are like this so much with any sort of alarm. A few years ago they moved from a house built in 1950 to one built in the 1980s. I feel safer knowing that they have grounded electricity that doesn't throw a breaker when you run the microwave. They were used to using three prong adapters to plug surge protectors into two-prong outlets.

One time I talked to them on the phone in their new house. Something was beeping. My mom told me that was the fire alarm, it went off because there was a fire. But nothing was damaged or burned. So I asked how that could be, a fire needs fuel. She said it was the kind of fire that was away from anything flammable, and so it went out by itself.

So I go over there and find what was beeping. It was the refrigerator. The refrigerator wanted a new filter for the water dispenser.

The thing is, my parents had a fridge at their old house with a water dispenser that supposedly filtered the water. They had used it with very hard water for 20 years. The filter never needed changing. My stepdad was adamant he had installed the filter and it was a special filter that does not get clogged. So I asked him how it can filter things without them getting stuck in it. It is a very expensive filter, he says. My stepdad is one of the boomers who is glued to a TV with a busted speaker where he watches Youtube videos about how everyone who got a covid vaccine will die next Tuesday and when that video is done he watches an AI-generated HFA story where aliens are stupid and humans are smart.

I have to replace their smoke alarm batteries, they never had them in their old house so those are confusing too.

Boomers have some of the worse etiquette about the online videos and music. I see the IPad kids watching a video, ok fine it’s a 3 year old. Head or earphones are just not a thing with them.

I don't understand how boomers got this way. Everything has to be maximum volume. They're the same way with cigarettes. Like they would rather let someone else get an asthma attack than just walk a little bit away.
 
My boomer relatives are woke to the iPhone Q—haters of slop, resisters of social media, etc.—but they do leave the tv on all the time.

There are channels with all their old favorite shows on them. I like those shows too. But there are constant commercials for trash products and scams and there are huge chunks of every episode missing. They don't seem to care.

Weird brain.

In the nursing home I'm gonna be listening to Spiderland and Loveless interrupted by constant porn ads—

"Babysitters in your area want to watch you jack off..."
 
I, for one, am persuaded by this article that there's a serious problem. So I'm going to provide my boomer relatives with quality, curated online content by signing them all up to the Farms
Sounds like a monkey s paw for our dear leader, gets the farms an unruly number of new registered daily users but they are all boomers registered under real identities with no opsec and an assumption this is Facebook 2.
 
I'll just be happy if they have something to do. It's hard to stay busy when you can't do much. My grandparents used to pretty much spend 90% of their time napping.

If prefer if they got into video games. Video games made for old people with poor eyesight and reflexes are an untapped market.

"Press A to take your best girl to the barn dance", Press A to give a firm handshake".
 
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