Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[S.C.U.D.]

I'd never heard of the Beatbox drink, so I looked it up:

That looks like it tastes like sugar with light hints of alcohol, perfect for a basic white girl who can't hold her liquor. Staph is probably buzzed from half of one of those.

As a man, I don't think I'm legally allowed to consume one of these even if I did drink alcohol, hopefully someone here can come in clutch with a review for us.

 

[Pillar Of The Community]

The “intrusive thoughts of saying slurs” is so clearly new and invented for the stupid Tourette’s thing. It’s like when the first round of cancelling happened on tumblr regarding the MJ grooming cult and she suddenly claimed to have pedo OCD.

Is this her saying she gets the urge to call a tranny a tranny at the old folks gay club?

 

[BoobWhiskers]

The “intrusive thoughts of saying slurs” is so clearly new and invented for the stupid Tourette’s thing. It’s like when the first round of cancelling happened on tumblr regarding the MJ grooming cult and she suddenly claimed to have pedo OCD.

Is this her saying she gets the urge to call a tranny a tranny at the old folks gay club?

I also sometimes get the urge to call a tranny a tranny, but I think it's probably safer to assume that's good old-fashioned transphobia or 'are you freakin' kidding me that is NOT a woman'. Probably the same with Stapphy, though in her case it's probably more of a 'can I see your soft birb' situation.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Was just thinking the other day: The Friglis are lucky they don't have to rely on Staph to run their errands or help around their household. They're blessed to not be reliant on a spud of questionable morals and almost zero capability.

As a man, I don't think I'm legally allowed to consume one of these even if I did drink alcohol, hopefully someone here can come in clutch with a review for us.

You're allowed to drink whatever booze you want as a free man...but I'm also not saying you wouldn't be judged for a straight beatbox, fam.

They look like they might be like a juicebox variant of Bartles & Jaymes.
- Probably tastes like disappointment and faking it but still not making it.

 

[Aunt Carol]

They look like they might be like a juicebox variant of Bartles & Jaymes.
- Probably tastes like disappointment and faking it but still not making it.

Speaking of faking it, anyone remember a few years back, when infusing herbs into vodka to make gin made it so big in the zeitgeist that suddenly all the gorls were doing it? I think there were a few subscription kits, too.



And then that gifting season there were easy-to-wrap "gin kits" everywhere, which have been a staple of TJ Maxx/TK Maxx/Marshall's - type retailers every year since.

I dunno; brewing is hard, but infusing seems like a fun baby step for a Druid. Mixology too.

 

[Stan]

Speaking of faking it, anyone remember a few years back, when infusing herbs into vodka to make gin made it so big in the zeitgeist that suddenly all the gorls were doing it? I think there were a few subscription kits, too.

View attachment 8619996

And then that gifting season there were easy-to-wrap "gin kits" everywhere, which have been a staple of TJ Maxx/TK Maxx/Marshall's - type retailers every year since.

I dunno; brewing is hard, but infusing seems like a fun baby step for a Druid. Mixology too.

brewing is easy, distilling is the tricky step that can kill you if you fuck it up.
However infusing marijuana into grain liquor results in a concoction so potent you can get compromat on any friend dumb enough to use it around you (even if you warn them "hey babe... this stuff is for real") . I think Staph on green dragon would be really amusing, actually.

 

[DatBepisTho]

@Aunt Carol I had forgotten about those gin infusion kits, what wild times.

brewing is easy, distilling is the tricky step that can kill you if you fuck it up.
However infusing marijuana into grain liquor results in a concoction so potent you can get compromat on any friend dumb enough to use it around you (even if you warn them "hey babe... this stuff is for real") . I think Staph on green dragon would be really amusing, actually.

Please God let this happen it would be so funny to have a green dragon arc.

Shit tastes swampy ASF no matter what alcohol you use, tho. Maybe THC sodas or THC infused butters are more her speed. lol

 

[space man]

As a man, I don't think I'm legally allowed to consume one of these even if I did drink alcohol, hopefully someone here can come in clutch with a review for us.

I've unfortunately tried one before. It was supposedly pink lemonade flavored. These are basically Kool aid with a thimble of liquor. The drink of choice for people who either do not like or cannot stand the taste of alcohol yet still desperately want to appear cool. Basically an adult Hawaiian Punch juice box for dumb fat retards like staph. It even has an easy to open spout for fat sped potato fingers.

 

[The Salt Mines]

You know what is easy AF to make? Basic bitch mead. Sanitize equipment, 3:1 honey to water ratio, pop some yeast in there, put it in your closet and forget about it for 4 months. Boom, you have mead. You should strain/siphon it before consuming as an added step, but you can be disgusting and just chew it I guess.

The vikingest of LARP beverages is beyond her.

 

[JaneThough]

You know what is easy AF to make? Basic bitch mead. Sanitize equipment, 3:1 honey to water ratio, pop some yeast in there, put it in your closet and forget about it for 4 months. Boom, you have mead. You should strain/siphon it before consuming as an added step, but you can be disgusting and just chew it I guess.

The vikingest of LARP beverages is beyond her.

TWU

 

[glass_houses]

I've unfortunately tried one before. It was supposedly pink lemonade flavored. These are basically Kool aid with a thimble of liquor. The drink of choice for people who either do not like or cannot stand the taste of alcohol yet still desperately want to appear cool. Basically an adult Hawaiian Punch juice box for dumb fat retards like staph. It even has an easy to open spout for fat sped potato fingers.

Sounds like a standard alcopop. I used to drink Bicardi Breezers back when I first started drinking and had no taste. A few years back I felt a bit nostalgic and and ordered one at a bar... I wanted to go back in time and slap myself silly, it was so fucking awful.

It's bemusing how Staph the transboomer is so fucking young when it comes to alcohol. You'd think that she'd be musing upon the differences between top shelf single malt whiskies or some pretentious shit like that.

She's been talking about grinding her teeth for years, too.

I shouldn't be, but I'm surprised at her external locus of control yet again. If her insurance wouldn't pay for a mouthguard, back when her dentist told her she grinds her teeth, seems like the obvious next step would be to buy the boil-your-own night guard from the drug store. Not perfect, not professional, but dude, teeth.

Eh... I had a dentist tell me that they were a bad idea because they encouraged more chewing, and really only transferred the damage from the teeth to the TMJ.

Grinding is often linked to anxiety, and anxiety is frequently sited as a common malady for narcissists. I'm not surprised that she's a grinder.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

It's bemusing how Staph the transboomer is so fucking young when it comes to alcohol. You'd think that she'd be musing upon the differences between top shelf single malt whiskies or some pretentious shit like that.

I think that, since there isn't much of a stereotypical alcohol of choice for little old ladies, she's defaulted to her other setting of 'mentally never matured past embarassing teen behavior'. She doesn't have the cash for anything refined, she likes sugary garbage, and most importantly despite wanting to be the boxiest boxy to ever boxy, she doesn't have male friends to reinforce the 'that is an incredibly faggy drink, my dude' that I think helps push guys in the direction of nonflavored drinks.

I'm not saying that SHOULD be a gendered thing, anyone should drink whatever they want, but socially it is very much still quite normal for girls to like fruity cocktails and guys to like 'manly' straight alcohol or a much more limited selection of mixed drinks. Stapphy doesn't have a social setting to drink in, so she drinks fruity starter girl alcohol alone in her apartment and pretends she's totally smashed, tee hee.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Eh... I had a dentist tell me that they were a bad idea because they encouraged more chewing, and really only transferred the damage from the teeth to the TMJ.

I agree, not fixing the root problem, but the take-away is that, once again, Stephanie's plan is to do nothing.

And to both of our points: look at Stephanie's whole "neck pain" saga. Do the PT exercises? Stop sleeping on the couch? Mindfully adjust pillow situation for safe doomscrolling?

No, the only solution is to take muscle relaxants (and Mom's Norco) and cast hexes on Donald Trump. With a side of "if you argue with me online I'll have neck pain" guilt trips.

since there isn't much of a stereotypical alcohol of choice for little old ladies

I thought old ladies historically loved port and sherry. Anecdotally I know the ones currently in their 80s do, and the generation before them.

I wonder if the whole problem is that Wine Mom jokes are so gendered. There's a whole thinkpiece, if someone insufferable wants to write it.


Stephanie could still have gotten into IPAs, though; she's spiritually a neckbeard, but even a neckbeard can aspire to be a hipster. And you can buy a mixed 12-pack and sperg on and on about how they each taste a little different and bad.

Maybe IPA culture, for lack of a better word, turned her away from the beer sphere. "More hops than U" microwbrew is bitter, where a basic lager is just liquid bread made for drinking after you planted the field, rotated the tires or watched a football. Dad beer would have more cred and fewer calories, but here's Stephanie drinking all alone, like the undergrad who got invited to parties that she never was.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Time for a cap dump. She did a blog post, randomly about her old cat, Simba.

Spoiler: Text

Today, I’m doing an extra blog post on what would have been my baby boy’s 29th birthday (which sounds impossible, but cats can live into their 30s!).

Since the second anniversary of Pete’s death in January, I have felt more at ease and less pained to talk about my late boys.

Simba came to us as the baby of a cat who belonged to one of my mom’s coworkers at the time. His mother was a tortoiseshell, and he was the smallest of all her kittens. For many years, he would climb up my father’s leg and sit on his shoulder. As an adult cat, Simba was shy and did not like visitors. As an elderly cat, he was still rambunctious and playful. He was very healthy, and his veterinarian once remarked that he could very well live to be 20!

His passing was a freak accident that can happen to a cat of any age. It’s like a stroke or aneurysm, and it strikes suddenly and kills instantly. My parents, who knew I would be devastated, concealed his passing from me until they came to see me at college on the Columbus Day holiday. Even still, I was not aware that he literally collapsed and died instantly until many years later. I had been told initially that he had simply passed in his sleep.

Simba was my first great love. When he passed in 2011 at the age of 14 (nearly 15), I felt as if I had lost one of the only “people” in my life who had understood me. Losing my grandmother the following July sent me on the trajectory of a several-year-long, agonizing abyss of depression and anxiety that nearly killed me. Even with my first husband, I felt as if no one truly knew me, or loved me unconditionally, as much as those two had. It would be seven years before I would dare to love another cat again, and that came in the form of Pete.

Now that I find myself much more happy and stable, with a place to call my own, the love of two beautiful souls, and a bedrock of faith, I can look back on my little man with fondness and nostalgia today.

I miss you, baby boy.

Even with my first husband, I felt as if no one truly knew me, or loved me unconditionally, as much as those two had.

Not even her imaginary friend understood her as much as her nan and cat.

Time to change the tone:

Thankfully she doesn't.


Crossing the streams of her main and horny account. So by saying it's a 'paraphilia' rather than a 'kink' I guess this is some way of protecting herself from criticism and one-upping the kinksters, in a 'I can't help it, I was born like this' way, with an added bonus of being oppressed for it.


Shut up, Stephanie, you had your womb yeeted and don't have periods.


When I saw this, I predicted to my friends it will be a nana sweater that she will call cottagecore.


Called it. She actually looks nice here. The colour and fit compliments her more. She should embrace being nanacore.


There isn't nothing illegal about the 'magic mushrooms' she has been taking.


I wonder how many people she encounters who like her vibe.


'I know that other people have it much worse, but...' is a common theme. 'My brain sustained damage' happened a long time before you got covid.


Staph hates dogs, pass it on.


Lame.


Staph side character, Jacquin, has made an album about Jeffrey Dahmer, which you can stream here. I presume the whole thing is made with AI.

There are 8 songs and it runs for 16 minutes, barely an album. I have listened to it and it is god awful and hilarious. It sounds like if someone wrote a piece of fan fiction from the POV of one of Lestat's groupies in Queen Of The Damned (2002) and inputted it into an AI music generator. If you like cringe music ala Zak Bagans 'Nekrofusion' then you'll enjoy it.

The AI did that nose dirty.



Saying that you 'took' a chocolate truffle is fat behaviour cope.


What happened to the hiatus where she was only going to reblog cat and nature posts?


New book wishlist! Go and be nosy here. There are some interesting choices:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents... Queer & Christian... ? Also, I can't imagine her tackling House Of Leaves.


'I don't have the money or patience to constantly do big marketing campaigns' lol.


Aww, that's nice for you, nana!


Not with that bad attitude.


What like...? Pretend to be his ghost to groom teenagers online? That's a pretty unforgiveable thing to do to him.


Is she talking towards her ghost husbandos or humans...? Her social views are so retarded. People generally don't fall in love with someone different every week.


Eww.


Her insistence that no one will trace her account from her main account (whilst giving people ways to do it) always tickles me.


... with no one there to fulfil these desires. Larping into the void. How tragic.


Aww Peetie plaque.


Thanks Mr Frig for your stellar dadjoke, I genuinely laughed out loud at this. (As a big TDS sperg).


Imagine having your third eye opened but still having the ability to post on social media during it.


LOL.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

On a very minor side note, no shit you were having trouble getting a fish sandwich on a Friday, Stapphy, it's Lent.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Imagine having your third eye opened but still having the ability to post on social media during it.

OK, I'm getting out my binder of Tool CDs and circling it with salt, just in case.

But man, I do kinda want Stephanie to get into sacred geometry. Imagine the patches.

 

[Pillar Of The Community]

Called it. She actually looks nice here. The colour and fit compliments her more. She should embrace being nanacore

She does look pretty cute (in an old lady way) there. If near-identical to Chumlee lol.

 

[glass_houses]

I thought old ladies historically loved port and sherry. Anecdotally I know the ones currently in their 80s do, and the generation before them.

And gin and wine. Lots of older wine drinkers in my neck of the woods.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents...

Staph lacking all self awareness, as usual.

 

[AfghanBlue]

And gin and wine. Lots of older wine drinkers in my neck of the woods.



Staph lacking all self awareness, as usual.

I was more moved by the cynicism of the Christian book listed for purchase-motivated entirely by the need to swot up on some Gotchas!
This bish fantasising about Slapfights Future.
Thinking they'll be better.
For someone who allegedly gets visited by ghosts, she's really short of a dickens type moral lesson about how those will go (spoiler - guess)

A Boxy Carol.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Last night, Staph had a MONEY PANIC!! What is it over this time...? Have a comical guess. Staph satire level. You are correct.



Panicking that her bougie drinks might not arrive and ebegging about it. How is she real. How is she not a parody of herself. She deleted the ebegging post after I capped it. If she read online listings properly, this kind of shit wouldn't happen. All she had to do was message the seller, request a refund, or, I dunno, wait a bit longer, but she always wants an instant solution and instinctively ebegs instead.


Oh, that cab driver knows, and probably doesn't give a shit.


Note the new name change.


It's never an improvement.



'All pedos should be gassed' isn't a scary or frustrating thing to hear from someone when you're not one.


I don't think it's about handling her anxiety, it's just about leaning in to her druid larp.


She might become sadder with a kitten around, but Staph never thinks about what Siggy needs.


Loki gatekeeping vore.


They're commenting under a bible quote, so she has no reason to get mad.


Play with her, brush her, take her to the vets to check she's not in pain, just accept that some cats are noisy. It's not that hard to learn what your cat is yelling about.


Sperging where there is no need for sperging, as usual.


At first I just clocked this out of context:

I don't think I transitioned so much as just expanded outside the United States.

... and thought it was about her gender transition making her fat lol.


The state of her mouth horrifies me, I genuinely don't understand how a 37 year old's mouth can be that wrecked.


Love the image of Beelzebub having an Amazon warehouse full of Staph level offerings. People need to up their offerings from foot skin jars to Teslas.


EW. Tell me you're not also drinking from the same glass of water that your cat has been drinking from. They lick their own buttholes.


Get back to writing it!


I would love to know what her therapist's reaction was to Staph's talk of taking 'magic mushrooms.' I imagine her therapist assumes it's snake oil and isn't concerned. Why she is still applying for a new apartment is beyond me, when there is nothing wrong with the one she is in. What is she hiding?


How dare someone park their car near her apartment.


Back with the headaches.


What a fucking weird thing to say.

we're going to bring about Ragnarok together

Oh, it's now a two person job, is it? LOL.

Jesus doesn't fuck with them either. I've never talked to him personally, but from what Loki says, he sounds like he would hate this shit.

Loki and Jesus hang out, apparently.


Not obsessed with him anymore?


OK.


I wonder what online snake oil website she has bought the gummies from.


Being sad about Bruce Campbell is based AF (she has posted a few articles about it), but remember that her mom has had cancer multiple times and she has not expressed a level of sadness like this for her.

ETA: Update about the cab driver.

Sounds like the two of them could be friends. One spergs about covid conspiracies and chemicals in the water, the other spergs about sex on the astral plane and how Ragnarok is coming.