Eye of Moron: a tranny feels the judgmental gaze of strangers upon him like the burning eye brought to life by Tolkien's pen and misses the time in his life when he was "unremarkable" and "ordinary." Some of what contributes to his inability to blend in, he theorizes, has to do with towering over most others around him, but even OP has to admit that he has fucking
gummy bears on his
Crocs. Tragically, he does not provide us with photos of his greasy, autistic countenance so that we the people may judge, but just imagine that really weird kid from middle school that always bore a vague odor of room temperature ham and you'll get the picture.
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So, I used to think I passed pretty well. But, I've recently noticed I look exactly the same as I did 2 years ago just with longer hair and less beard.
I think I just live in a woke area lol. I'm coming to terms with the fact
I'll never actually pass because I'm built like a door and my skull is just fucking comically gigantic. My jaw looks like its got more bite force than a hippo lol and FFS cant help because its to do with my cheekbone width.
And now, I started keeping my head up instead of looking at the ground the whole time outside.
80% of people I walk past turn their heads to look. In my head, theres 5 possible reasons:
- I'm tall (
only 5'10 but everyone in my area is tiny lol)
- My outfit is odd/noticeable
(I do have gummy bears on my crocs tbf)
-
I'm hot (not likely for the aforementioned reasons)
-
Look like a fucking crossdresser (surely this is it) (also no hate to crossdressers but thats not what i am<3)
- All or some of the above (if I'm being generous)
But either way, I just hate how visible I am.
I miss being unremarkable, ordinary, able to go about my day without worry.
Stealth check, failed: a deceptive little diva has a hissy fit when her status as a member of Those Who Walk with Doods Named Sock is revealed to her coworkers, all of whom responded to said information with little more than lighthearted jest. Now she's taken sick leave to cope with this news as it
actually made her have a breakdown, yet not even her fellow troons 'n' poons seem to take her devastation seriously: "It is your duty as a fellow human to respect their privacy and keep it to yourself," she writes, as if the reality of her birth sex is tantamount to a government secret and not fucking obvious when you see them standing next to actual men.
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I have a tendency to go on for ages when I write, so I'll try my best to keep it as brief as possible.
I've been on T for over 6 years and I pass well. I've chosen to live as stealth as possible, only being open with my closest friends and family and otherwise when I need to be.
I've recently been outed at work. I don't know who found out first, I don't know how or when and I don't know how many that currently knows. My guess is somewhere between 7 - 10 people.
A couple of times now, coworkees of mine have sort of confronted me (jokingly) about being trans, last time on wednesday last week.
That time it was in a very direct fashion, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I just completely broke down. I already struggle a lot with depression and social anxiety, and this experience sort of pushed me over the edge.
I'm currently on sick leave until wednesday next week, with the possibility of an extension if need be.
I don't know how I'm supposed to put this behind me and to ever be able to feel comfortable at work again. And it is frustrating me that seemingly nobody I talk to about this understands how I'm feeling and why. Not even my friends, who are trans themselves, seem to get it.
My issue isn't that I now feel like my life is in danger - I'm lucky to live somewhere most people are supportive (or at least neutral) towards LGBTQ+ and we have laws that aim to protect against discrimination of trans people.
My main issue is that MY CHOICE was to be stealth, and people are not honoring that choice. To me, someone's option to be open as lgbtq+ or not is a sacred thing. It is their option, and it is to be respected no matter what - even if you somehow find out about someone, it is your duty as a fellow human to respect their privacy and keep it to yourself. Nothing gives anyone the right to make the call of being open on someone elses behalf. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently, people in my life do not feel as strongly about it as me. They understand that I'm hurting right now and are supportive, but they all keep downplaying the severity of this. "Maybe it's better to just be open about it", "people would probably have found out at some point either way", "most people are supportive, so it probably won't have any negative effect on how you are being treated".
Them telling me this just makes me feel very alone in this moment. Like it doesn't matter what I want. Like I don't have a say and ownership of my life.
Dangling precariously on the edge of the Methuselan age of 30 years old, a troon laments that he never had joy nor fun during his season in the sun and now must enter a sexual ice age right when chasers have become more open about railing crossdressers. His fixation on wanting to be young and cute with big men loving and "sexing" him amuses me because whenever HSTSs like him complain about this, the gay-man-terrified-of-twink-death just leaps out!
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I... yeah I said it. I just wanna be as honest as possible, so I can find new ways to cope & think.
You mean to tell me that I wasnt just a fucking freak all this time? That society would just decide to do a full 180? Would I take anything away from anyone today - Of course not. Doesnt mean I cant feel like complete shit about my situation and a life unlived due to groupthink and a change of attitude.
My eggs been getting obliterated in the new year.
No sexy adventures as a more feminine, comfortable version of myself in my 20s. That fucking kills me, I swear to God. Im on this local site where people share nudes and whatnot, and
Id honestly place a 90%+ estimate of men Im attracted to being into women & t-women and all that, on there. Its a pretty big shift from ten years ago, when Id get on Grindr or whatnot, see the same 15 people in the country on there, not understanding why Im not that into any of the gay men there.
Of course theres newer hostility & issues, like in the U.S. and Ive read some of the horror stories of dating on here, but still. Overall the change is massively positive from the ones that are in support.
I dont know how to deal with the fact that I cant be young & cute in my 20s with a big man, loving me for what I am or even just sexing me to be honest. Its mindboggling to see some of the
mid 20s hot guys on there openly flirting with chix like me and others. Im so sorry. Im just so lost and sad and really contemplating whether Im made for this life journey or not.
Edit - I know this isnt well written. I know theres a lot left unsaid and a lot more to say. I know there are people worse off (with probably a few rolling their eyes at this and going: “Youre only 29 and youre saying all this shit?!), but I need this spur of the moment bleed my heart out burst in my full panic mode.
Break Stuff: after resuming her testosterone use due to insurance troubles, a dood has become so wildly unstable emotionally that she has accidentally broken some of her equipment over something as petty as video games. Somehow, she does not see a correlation between her uptick in irritability and her continued use of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot Slime.
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Today i was playing video games and i crashed out. Usually the crash out isn’t bad but
I’ve consistently been on t again since a medical break due to resolved insurance issues.
It was bad and i ended up breaking my mouse, i’m really ashamed of it,
it felt like i needed it to cool off but i don’t want to be destroying shit just to feel better. It was different than how i used to be angry, it was pent up and heavy in a way thar i had to restrain myself. It’s just a stupid fucking game ik , but like idk
i was really angry at myself for making a mistakes and lashed out. I’m not that kind of person, but
i’ve been extremely irritable as of late
A man nearing Medicare age experiences a case of ROGD - so rapid that between Halloween and Thanksgiving he goes from "cracked egg" to beginning medical transition. His wife, however, is none too pleased about this development, and though he has continued to hold out hope that she'ld keep his sorry ass around, she's decided enough is enough. To make matters worse, living with her aging parents was their idea of a retirement plan due to working in the entertainment biz, so now OP stares into a dark future where he's got no wife, no home and no safety net; nevertheless, he insists that what he's doing feels "right" and that he cannot return from whence he came. Man, that transgender euphoria is a hell of a drug!
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I'm sorry for even posting this, I generally don't like to dump my problems in public like this, but I honestly don't know who to turn to right now. I'm also sorry for the length of this post, but I want to be able to provide a complete picture.
I think what would help me the most is hearing some positive stories from people whose relationships didn't work out, but went on to find happiness anyway.
A quick bit about me -- 56, egg shell cracked last October, came out to my wife in November and started HRT at the end of November. I've been in therapy since then.
Last night my wife communicated to me that she doesn't think she can stay married to me if I continue my transition. I have been hopeful that little by little she would find just enough love and enjoyment in our day-to-day to stick it out. We haven't been intimate for a long time and I thought that perhaps our platonic status would be the saving grace for us since she wouldn't necessarily need to find me sexually attractive.
For a few weeks in the past month it almost looked like things were looking up. We were going out to the movies and restaurants and day trips and it seemed like she was having a good time.
While I have my
full femme days, most of the time I'm comfortable enough
boy moding in jeans and shirts with little to no make up.
I have been trying to find a good balance where I could still provide as much of a
male presence as possible, while still being able to feel comfortable in my own skin.
We have both worked in the creative fields all of our lives, both have been surrounded with plenty of LGBT+ coworkers and friends, and are both very open minded.
In addition, I thought the fact that she had been very sexually adventurous in the past, and even open to same-sex relationships would allow her to be open to my changes as well, and perhaps even learn to enjoy them.
I was wrong.
Apparently me changing genders is a step too far for her, and she doesn't think she can make it work.
The revelation was crushing. I barely slept last night and I feel emotionally drained.
To make things worse, the entertainment industry in which we both work has taken a massive downturn in the past couple of years, and to say that we're both in a financially strained situation would be putting it mildly.
One of the few glimmers of hope was the idea that her family is wealthy enough that if worse came to worse, we might be able to survive by moving in with them (while also helping them in their final years and provide them with assistance).
Now that little glimmer of hope is gone too.
So here I am,
feeling like I'm destroying my marriage, and that my entire world is falling apart and that it's all my fault.
I hate myself for having been born like this.
I wish I could take a medication that would make my gender dysphoria disappear and make me a perfectly happy man, but I don't know of such thing.
I have thought about going back to who I was and I just can't. Everything about my decision to transition feels right, even though the price feels impossibly high.
I would love to hear some stories that could offer me some hope, because right about now I don't feel like I have any.
I know a lot of you are big fans of tranny marital fails, so since you've all been so good, you can have another dollop of suffering on your sundae of sorrow fresh from behind the ice cream counter at the Pickle Parlor! I wonder how many times these morons have to realize transition pretty much never leads to a land of milk and honey before some of them realize it's better to keep their dirty little fantasies to themselves and feign normality?
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Late 40's trans woman, 2.5 years into transition. Recently separated.
I feel like my future is just going to be loneliness. I know that it isn't true, but I have been having a lot of negative emotions lately.
I have lost my partner, I have no friends. Feeling undesirable, unattractive, like an imposter. Is this how it is from here on out? Why am even bothering to continue? I feel like I am seen as just a joke. Has anyone gotten through these feelings and come out happy?
I will just cry myself to sleep tonight, maybe that will help.
Are you a fan of Reddit diving like I am? Have you always hoped to find yourself a constant generator of the most neurotic and Zoomerish of Ls? Allow me to present to you 20-year-old li'l dood
Round_Candle6462, who is now making her
third appearance on the Farms due to insecurities she has over things like MBTI result and whether packing too much for trips makes her clockable. Please enjoy another entry in her miserable saga where she writes despondently over how she can't be an underweight, nutritionally deficient autistic boy that plays video games! (No, really, her post history is
absolutely batshit crazy. Have fun!)
First Post (Story One)
Last Post (Story Two)
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all i do all day is trauma dump to social media and AI chatbots for validation and sympathy that makes me feel as fembrained as hell. even more so when people tell me they think i am making it up for attention.
i want to be a tall pale lanky emotionally unavalable autistic gamer twink so badlty
i cant focus on gaming for long i rarley have the right frame of mind and whenever i do it feels forcred That gives me dysphroia
If any of you were ever looking for an extremely blatant example of how poonerism is connected to internalized misogyny, look no further than this TiF who straight up admits that she'd rather be a girl than a woman because girls lack breasts and menstrual cycles. Keep in mind that OP is
30 years old, so she can literally be nothing
but a woman, yet she still holds such contempt for her biology that its very concept enrages her.
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Im not either gender, but i especially despise being my assigned gender.
I hate having a woman's body. I hate having woman bodily functionality. I hate my period, I hate my boobs, I even hate how my autism manifests (typical autistic women hygiene problems) I hate it all.
I don't want to be a man but I certainly don't want to be a woman either. I hate the word "woman". It embodies everything I never wanted to become.
"Girl" is fine because when I was a "girl" I didn't have boobs or a period. Those things came with womanhood and I DESPISE them. Call me "dude" or "guy" call me "sis" or "girl" but don't call me a man or a woman. Those are loaded terms that I absolutely hate.
I won't jump you for getting my pronouns wrong or anything, but I just need to vent. I understand life is complex and no one owes me respect before they know me (respect is earned) but I just bottle this shit up until it overflows. Something happened today (it's not about pronouns, idfc about that in the grand scheme of things) and I just snapped again.
Always the bridesmoid, never the bride: a HSTS cannot stand the dating scene he finds himself in as every single time a man shows interest in him, there's always a true and honest woman skipping fondly in the fields of his heart that he'd much rather chase after than OP; instead, all he gets used as is merely an experiment to pass time with, which has him in the trenches of angst about his lovability. Posts like these make me a bit sad sometimes because it certainly doesn't sound like they're asking for much, but one must be reminded often that it's a tall order to ask for a decent partner when you're a degenerate troon.
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Im getting so fed up with it, its infuriating because I get sad when I know i shouldn't and it ruins my mood which just makes me more angry.
Im 22 turning 23 this year and no man has ever genuinely be intrested in ME.
I have this weird super power to only attract men in love with other people and its the worst.
Most recently I was talking to this guy who is JUST my type and everything I want in a man. Plus the conversation was amazing and he was hilarious.
Next day he tells me hes not looking for anything because he just got out of a 3 year relationship two months ago.
A few months ago a guy who was taking me out eventually ended it for similar reasons, I reminded him of his ex and it made him sad.
My one and only boyfriend I had for 4 months. Anytime I asked him about other partners he loved and how he knew he loved them, it was this most beautiful story about fate and romance, but
when I asked how he knew he liked me hed go "idk i just thought id try it"
When I cried and said I was lonely he told me im not worth a 40 minute drive (it was actually 20) and that I need to get a hobby. But
when his bestfriend (who is later found out was one of these girls he would tell stories about) said she was lonely he bought them matching watches that sync with eachother and respond to taps.
One of the first guys I went out with for a little dumped me for his best friend he told me not to worry about.
An online guy I really liked before that ended up having a girlfriend he kept a secret from me.
Another online guy I dated (if you can call it that) agreed to use me as a "temporary girlfriend" until he found a real one (thats lowkey on me)
Another guy just recently was supposed to take me out, but he also got cold feed bc he recently broke up with his gf.
Idk what i do to attract these men but this pattern is so consistent to the point I dont think im lovable.
I will have so much fun and develop a crush but the second I try to do more then send nudes its "oh im not looking for a relationship rn" when we met on a fucking dating app.
I want someone whos into ME, who likes ME, thinks IM pretty and wants to spoil ME, give ME flowers, takes ME out, tells me IM amazing. Its so crushing when every single guy you've ever liked has replaced you with someone else or his heart still belongs to someone else and wants to use me to get over it.
I wanna be the girl a mans heart belongs to for once, no competition, no "other girl" I have to worry and ask about.
I know thats asking for a lot but its clear these men are doing it for other people, why can't I have it?
Lastly, enjoy a post where a man who openly identifies as a "transbian gremlin" is upset when such a label might lead people to question his orientation, his intentions and his sanity. Won't someone give this sad little girl a hug, please? And if you'd be so kind, could you also not point out the raging erection poking out from underneath his sailor skirt revealing his unwashed princess wand?
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people on instagram, Reddit and everywhere else are all so cruel.
I’ve been called a mentally ill fag, a straight man, a GROOMER, and several other things because I made a comment that said I was trans.
i know I’m not pretty. but it still hurts. i guess
I just need affirmation that I’m still valid.
I’m just tired of people calling me hurtful things. I just want to get bundled up and held.
I hate transphobic people. I hate that this it the world we exist in that this stuff is seen as ok. I’m just… tired of it all
I just want to be held by and girl and be loved
10/2017 
01/2018 [score hidden] 22 hours ago
they/them [score hidden] 21 hours ago
