🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

  • Yes

  • No

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Piggy continues with the schizoposting.
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Edit: King Mersh promises an epic felting, WOAH BUDDY!
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Fuck you alogs I didn't send emails to Brixton I wish I did if you wanna know the truth about it ok I did but I've been very open about it on this show and if they aren't funny than it's actually been a work you retards wouldn't understand
 
Rage Pig said:
Piggy continues with the schizoposting.
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Edit: King Mersh promises an epic felting, WOAH BUDDY!
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Hopefully this isn't like that one time where King Mersh (glory to his name) softly, passively implied he was gonna strike the Ralphaserf down from where his piggly hooves stand and then not do it. I'll give him a pass for that time since he didn't really state anything to that effect. It was mostly an implication derived from timing and circumstance. When the filthy Ralphapeasant had just started hollerin' at King Mersh (glory to his name) after lightly teasing Ralph for desperately simping over future Queen Consort, Icedanc3r (glory to her name). All after King Mersh (glory to his name) regally advised the dimwitted Ralphachurl unsuccessfully over a woman his sovereign deemed not worh driving 30 minutes for, much less booking fucking international flights.

Of course, our noble chronicle isn't complete until I mention the benevolent, newly anointed King Mersh (glory to his name), freshly crowned with da Sektur diadem, invoking ius primae noctis regis (hehe, no I don't occasionally doomscroll through YouTube shorts and come across clips of Fallout, why do you ask?) to impale Queen Consort Icedanc3r (glory to her name) with his massive and divine schlong.

Thusly, awakening her to the spiritual realization of the faintest hope. To live, not an accused life of villainy and treachery, certain if she accepted the Ralphaknave as her beloved on this mortal coil, but a life of fealty and service to the freshly crowned King Mersh (glory to his name) and his mouldering dominon. A dominion, known as da Sektur, the craven and improvident false King Ralph (spit on his name) left neglected and crumbling in his pill-addled wake.

Thankfully, with his divine foresight, King Mersh (glory to his name), saw it fit to carnally know the foretold Queen Consort Icedanc3r and cure her of her wicked ways. Whereunto she assented to her lord's rightful claim, absconding the Ralpharibald, and we all lived happily ever after.

fin


My point being if King Mersh (glory to his name) delivers, I fucking kneel. I doubt it needs to be too much to send Ralph over the edge, so it just needs to be enough.

If he doesn't deliver though... Well, I guess we better look at a revolution or something to either anoint a new king of da Sektur. Any ideas? Fuck it, I'll go with PPP. Why not? If that doesn't work, I guess we'll have to install democracy or communism or something. Fuck if know.
 
Perusing through X to look for anything funny that's slipped through the cracks.

This showing up under probable spam cracked me up. The Xitter spam algorithm even has Ralph figured out.

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Rehab? Fuck that, bish. He's the Ralphamale!


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I honestly don't know how to accurately describe, and encompass all my thoughts, when he posts stuff like this. I really don't. There's a bit of:

- "Ralph....Come the fuck on."

- "Ralph, why do you lie about this?"

- "Ralph, why do you even bother lying like this?"

- "Ralph, as much as you hate hearing his because everyone is an alog, and everything the alogs say is nawt trewww, you desperately need to seek help."

- "Ralph, who do you think is stupid enough to believe this?"

- "Ralph, this is an important question. Are you retarded or are you pretending to be retarded?"

- "Ralph, be honest with yours Do you believe this shit?"

- "Ralph, The fact you have a "planned relapse" any time something, anything, slightly negative happens in your life is incredible funny and embarrassing. It's kinda indicative that you have a few severe maturity problems, which you're clearly unable to resolve on your own."

- "Whatever Ralph."

"Das rite Ralph, show da gaylogs who the Ralphamale is."

Those are only the first ones that immediately come mind. There are just so many thoughts...

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This one kinda confuses me because I'm not sure what he's trying to accomplish and not sure why he fled to the Killstream account. The former is obviously standard Ralphamale hollerin', but like dude....You flew from Mexico to Florida twice for this woman. Say what you want about her eating your ass or whatever, but none of it changes the fact that you were desperately in love with her for a few weeks until she refused your offer to move in with her, lol.

The latter confuses me though. The only way it makes any sense is if he's got her blocked on this account and doesn't want her to see his impotent xeeting. If that's the case... Ralph...You're such a sad and weak "man", lol.


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Standard Ralph seething at his first Internet daddeh.
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I don't think Ralph really understands that the vast majority of people who laugh at him do not follow the retarded goings on of 90% of the groups or people he's hollerin' about. The dude is a lolcow that people laugh at without knowing basically any of the names he ever mentions, LOL.


Also, he's streaming in about 40 minutes. If King Mersh gets Ralph to do a pillstream, I'll be eternally greatful.
 
lester said:
Ha, y'know the Ralphasimp with his dreams of making 100 grand on a porno with her would be right in line with that porn scum Hunter.
The abomination that people would pay to see truly would be revenge porn on the world.
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Yikes, you'd have to have one of those warnings at the start of the video about those sensitive to motion sickness to be advised. Watching that shape he calls a body rolling would just make you puke. His revenge porn video was made into a meme by someone and it made me nearly throw up seeing used as an avatar, watching those rolls of fat sort of ebb and flow like an ocean wave.
 
Stiffy said:
I was watching the Whatever podcast earlier to see if Scarlett showed up. Nope! Something
went down because she was talking about it a lot this week, That's a big deal for her to miss it.
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Yeah, it's called crack. Have you seen this woman go? She's basically a female BMJ, sans gamba.
 
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