While obviously avoiding powerleveling, I needed to rant somewhere about some concerns I'm having with two close friends of mine. This thread is the most appropriate place to do so.
Two of my good friends are pregnant, and unfortunately, they got pregnant by the dumbest failmales.
Friend #1 is a little bit older than me and is due soon. She got pregnant by a longtime friend of hers: they were hooking up for 1.5 years and when she got pregnant last year, she said, at the time, he was "not looking for a relationship." Neither was she with him. She's got a degree and a good, stable job and has been happily independent for years, but has always wanted a baby. I'm happy for her on that end, since I know that she's going to be an incredible mother. She's smart, socially active and conscious, and an all-around great woman. I know her baby will be loved and well-supported, especially financially.
Friend #1 also has a large group of mostly female friends (including me), so that baby will be surrounded by a group of independent feminist women who will help support her and her mother.
Throughout her pregnancy,
Friend #1 and the baby daddy have grown closer. To his credit, he's financially supportive of the incoming baby's needs (paying for supplies, paying for things my friend has needed like groceries, gas money, etc.), has shown up to the baby events like the shower, her ultrasound, all that. He's been present throughout all her pregnancy, pretty much. She and he are taking it slow and trying to basically figure out what their relationship is.
HOWEVER. As she nears her due date, the BD is now seemingly getting cold feet. He started to miss appointments and didn't have any reason or excuse beyond "I couldn't get off work." Now he's up and told
Friend #1 that he didn't want to be there for the birth of their baby, since he's "afraid of blood." What? Are you fucking kidding me? This is putting a lot of stress on my friend, since she was told that the baby's growth wasn't as ideal at this late stage in the pregnancy as she should be, and that they may have to induce labor sooner than her initial due date. This also is causing a lot of stress on my friend, and she's been asking the BD to be there for her as he has been for the past 9 months. Now he's essentially ghosting her at the eleventh hour and
she's due in a matter of days. We're all collectively trying to keep her calm and organize shifts to be there with her, especially if the baby is induced earlier than expected. We're also all pissed at the BD, since he's jut farting around being like "well um uhhhh I'm afraid of blood and I won't be any good to her if I'm passed out at the sight of blood."
Friend #1's sister pointed out that the BD is a hunter, ex-military, the whole nine yards--he's used to bloodshed and doesn't have a problem with it in any other context. So we're all figuring out (especially because of the ghosting) that he's just not wanting to be present anymore since everything is getting Too Real
and that he'd rather dip the fuck out than man up and be present for the birth of his own child.
Friend #1 is having a hard time dealing with the sudden shift in his behavior and is opting to just defend him and his excuse. This is understandable since she's been told a lot of scary pregnancy medical news lately. We're not bringing up the issue with her since we're trying to make her as calm as possible.
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Friend #2 is nearly a decade younger than me and got pregnant by her on-again-off-again ex-fiancé. I fucking hate him. They've broken up before for major reasons: he wouldn't help around the house, he shouts at her when he's angry or stressed out at work, he blows up at the slightest thing, he's vengeful, he's too controlling, he gets jealous for no reason, he won't hang out with her or do fun things with her. He's the kind of moid to brag about being "petty" and has several times been petty against her. Main example is that, if their dog pees or poops in the house, he won't clean it up since it's "her dog," even though he's the one who adopted it "for her." He's also genuinely stupid, so much so that her own mom had asked how she can be with someone of low intelligence. I hesitate to repeat some of the things he's openly asked or wondered about since it could be powerleveling but let me give you a hypothetical. Let's say you ask a retard to spell the word "orange." To clarify, the retard asks you: "The color, or the fruit?"
That's how legitimately fucking retarded this nigger is.
Friend #2 and her baby daddy are living together again (but are no longer engaged and are "taking it slow") and she's had a whole host of troubles before the pregnancy happened.
Major Issue #1: She was in a major car wreck and her car was totaled.
He "will not let" (her words!!!) her buy another car, because HE wants to be the one to buy it. Of course, every time she finds a reasonably priced used car, or anyone else in the friend group sends her one being sold locally, he finds a problem with the car and the potential sale is dropped. It's been months since she's had a car, and I find it intentional that she has to borrow his car and rely on his attitude that day in order to get to work. I've been driving her to her shifts a few times a month for the past year.
Major Issue #2: She worked two low-wage jobs and lost one of them.
He "will not let" her get another job, because HE wants to be the one to pay for everything. Every time she has brought up getting another job, he shuts it down because he says she's "insulting" him, telling her that by doing so, she's implying that he's "not as much of a man" or whatever. This stupid nigger is chimping out at any perceived slight. He wants to be the one to pay for everything with his singularly shitty job, which he hates and always bitches about, and which DOES NOT PAY ENOUGH, not even for their own standards of living.
Major Issue #3 is that they live in a very small apartment in a very shitty complex and have a big, uncontrolled dog. They simply do not have the room for a baby, and since he doesn't do any domestic labor, she's having to clean up after the dog AND him while pregnant.
He will not consider moving to another place, not even when confronted with the fact that the complex itself is financially irresponsible: water for the complex was shut off, the gates to the complex are constantly broken, several tenants have been robbed, etc. It's a fucking shithole, but because the rent is so cheap, he wants to stay there and shouts her down any time she's brought it up.
When she told me that she was pregnant, she could tell by my face that I wasn't stereotypically happy for her. She asked me my thoughts, and I just asked her outright how she could feel comfortable having a baby with someone whom she'd ended a relationship before for very serious, very consistent reasons. She didn't really have an answer. She was like "oh well...we're working on our relationship? Like we're trying to communicate more?" I'm so concerned for her since she's young and has no resources. She can't move out to stay with her family or anything like that and doesn't make enough money to be on her own. I also recognize she's very much under the thumb of this dumbass nigger and will be unlikely to leave him, especially since she got back together with him after they broke off their engagement the first time. I don't know if it's low self-esteem or what, but whenever she's complained about his behavior or asked if she's overreacting to what is essentially his psychological and emotional abuse, she ignores all the advice and continues to be with him.
I am legitimately so scared for
Friend #2, because of her lack of resources and willpower to stand up to this chimp. I cannot imagine what kind of hellhole her baby will be raised in. I'm trying to be positive for her and am offering my presence to the big baby appointments and all that since her lazy nigger boyfriend will not go with her. He has no excuse or reason not to go with her to the ultrasounds or check-ups. He just doesn't want to go. I'm hoping that the further along she gets into the pregnancy, the more she'll see what a worthless faggot she's tied to and will wise up and dump him, but again--she's got no fucking car, money, or place to go.
There's no neat conclusion to this rant. I'm concerned for
Friend #1 but know that, even if her piece of shit wimpy baby daddy isn't there, she'll be okay raising the baby on her own and we'll all surround her with love and support.
Friend #2's situation, however, is unnerving me. It pisses me off so much that her BD is a do-nothing piece of shit. His job doesn't support them, they live in a shitty place, and it's just going to get worse once the baby comes. I foresee him dumping her because the baby is
tew much stwess on him or something. I also fear that he's the kind of guy to accuse her of baby trapping him when he's the one who didn't want to use protection (again, her words) because in his mind, he's a big stwong man who can support his needs, her needs, the needs of their unruly dog, and their incoming baby...even though history has told us all that no, he isn't. He's just a greedy, lazy, delusional faggot.
Idk what to do, Lady Kiwis. I'm trying to be there as much as possible for the both of them, but I have no other recourse besides offering rides, whatever money I can spare, and a repeated shoulder to cry on...and my shoulder is soaking wet. What do? What even can do???
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