A poon learns that the troon who shtupped her has a nigh exclusive preference for women, leading her to panic about what this implies about the sex that he had with her because at the time, she believed him to play for both teams. So to explain this to all of you normal, God-fearing Kiwis, a man is aware that the woman he fucks wants to look like a man so pretends to be bisexual to get in her pants and then admits outright he's only attracted to women, so OP is upset because that means
he thinks
she's a woman. And the final nail in the coffin?
She's still worried about invalidating "his" lesbianism by standing up for herself! If you need a shot after reading all of that, please let staff know if you prefer yours alcoholic or made of lead.
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I recently had sex with a really close MTF friend of mine who I thought was bisexual.
Well, a week later she dropped the bombshell that she's "never really been into guys" and is a lesbian.
I'm FTX but lean VERY hard to the "man" side of things. I'm 3 years on T and
my transition goal is to look like a flamboyant gay man. She knows all of this, I have said it explicitly multiple times.
When I told her that was a bold thing to say to the trans guy she just had sex with, her response was, "Well you're non-binary," which honestly kind of felt like a slap in the face? It feels like she's saying I'm not a REAL man because I'm ALSO non-binary, and it also makes me feel like she sees me as "woman-lite."
And I get there are non-binary lesbians, but at least to me,
the word "lesbian" has always been centered around WOMEN loving WOMEN. It can include non-binary people but like the focus is women. Everyone else just kind of opts in. Same thing with gay men - it means you like MEN; non-binary people are secondary to that.
Soooooo
does this mean she doesn't see me as a guy? Or is me being non-binary (while also a man) enough for her to still be lesbian? Cause RN I just feel like shit - like she's only into me cause I have the body of a girl, a body that I'm trying to desperately to get away from.
I know I just need to talk to her but I don't want her to get upset. Since she's also trans I feel like she should understand but I also know a lot of binary trans people who don't get that non-binary does NOT always mean "I'm cool with whatever."
She's pre-everything and I know she's really attached to the lesbian label cause it's like the only gender affirming thing she has and
I kind of just want to let her have that. She also did tell me one time when I was having a dysphoria-induced mental breakdown that I look "more like a boy than a girl," but she might've just said that because I was being actively suicidal.
...and it's also been months since we fucked.
A couple weeks ago she tried initiating sex (that also kinda fucked me up so I just ignored her) but nothing has happened other than that. So I feel like I should just "man up" and get over it.
But obviously I can't, that's why I'm posting about it on reddit. It's been eating away at me for literal months now.
I can't help but feel like she doesn't see me as a guy and it's low-key kinda ruining the friendship. I CANNOT be close with someone who doesn't accept and respect my identity. I just can't.
Does anyone have any advice on how to bring this up with her?
I'm so afraid she's gonna double down and I'm gonna have to cut her off.
Speaking of sad relationships with TiFs and their fellas, this one is married before she's even able to legally rent a car in the USA and has a toddler and has still fallen victim to the poon plague which sort of serves as proof that settling down early into a nice, monogamous little family is not the silver bullet many hope for. This one has the added humor of her husband refusing to identify as anything but straight, which OP admits she has no business trying to tamper with - but she can't help herself, as "(I) just get upset when (hes) so adamant about being straight even though (I'm) nonbinary." Funny how she can try and mess with
his labels, but it's not a two-way street...
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I’m 23, and my husband is 24. We have been together going on 8 years and married for 3. We have a toddler together. I came out officially as a nonbinary man at the end of 2024, and I’ve started talking about starting T and getting top surgery.
He’s always identified as straight (and I know.. don’t date a straight guy and expect him to turn gay). I’ve been feeling like he’s been bothered when I refer to him as queer or queer adjacent. Which I know I shouldn’t put a label on him, but I just get upset when hes so adamant about being straight even though I’m non-binary.
We have never had strict gender norms and I’ve talked about being gender non conforming our whole relationship.
We recently had a conversation about my transition goals (I want to be androgynous, kind of feminine man, but want to experiment with my masculinity) and he says he feels ~less~ concerned about no longer finding me attractive. But
he also said it’s hard for him because he still sees me as a woman. That really sucks for me, especially when he has been very supportive (and is a great ally, he’s active in the community).
I think the idea of bottom growth gives him the ick, and he really likes my huge chest (I hate it). He said he won’t mind a deeper voice as my voice is already pretty naturally deep.
Truly,
I love him and scared he won’t love my true self: separation is not an option for us. We want to make it work, and we also just financially can’t move apart either. I don’t want to live a lie anymore, and now I’m feeling even more insecure about transitioning the way I need to. He has told me I should stay in the closet, especially with this administration, but that’s just not an option for me. I’ve been openly queer on the internet for like a decade at this point.
Any advice on discussions/things to do for us would be great! Because idk what I’m doing!
In the wake of winding up hospitalized
for a second time with spiritual delusions invoked by drug use, a partly-transitioned MTF's wife and doctor worry that his transition may be making him one hell of a loony troon and are hoping to dissuade him from hopping further down the bunny trail. Reading the
kinds of
posts he's been making to r/Meditation, I'm inclined to believe it's less that transgenderism made him crazy and more that being crazy made him transgender, but where does one end and the other begin?
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I am beyond words. I cannot believe what happened.
I’m 99% sure it was spirituality and obsessing over Ram Dass and meditation that got be both times. First time was also marjiuanna induced.
I feel as if I had finally been born. Starting transition has given me life. Now it is all being taken away.
I have boobs.
My beard is lasered off
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
After beginning his transition from manlet to clownlet, a troon struggles with leaving a woman who supported his gender retardation through rain, snow, sleet or shine because he couldn't stop imagining consuming cock every time he had to munch some muff. Even holding hands with her was agonizing as he continued to compare himself in all ways feminine; now, though he admits to being much happier to submit to men than to her, he still feels pangs of shame for what HRT did to his orientation.
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I broke up with my girlfriend in November. We were together since like late 2023.
We started dating before I even started hrt in July 2024...
Day 1 I told her I was going to transition, and she had zero issue with it. Fully supportive the whole time. Never mean, never toxic, just a genuinely good person. Which honestly makes this harder.
The problem is
my sexuality flipped hard after HRT. Before transition I thought I was bi/pan and didn’t really care. Now I’m basically straight. I’m not into women anymore.
And
the dysphoria stuff was constant in a way that sounds dumb until you live it. She’s 5'1, a tiny cis girl. I’m only 5'4, but next to her I felt huge and mannish all the time, like I was stuck being “the masculine one” by default even though she was very much the more dominant/masculine one energy/role wise in our relationship she was the "leader/in charge."
Even small things would mess with my head.
Holding hands would make me uncomfortable because my hands looked bigger/more masculine next to hers (even though objectively my hands aren’t even big). My brain would just spiral.
Sex got weird too because I’d catch myself thinking “I wish this was a dick in my mouth if she told me to eat her out for example” and then immediately feel like a horrible person for even thinking that. It felt like I was forcing myself to be someone I’m not, and she didn’t deserve that.
With men it’s the opposite. I’m clearly the feminine one and it feels natural instead of forced... Like ill actually initiate sexual stuff in the bedroom now with a guy. Whereas with my ex gf she would be the one initiating cause I wasnt truly into it.
So I ended it. No cheating, no drama, just crying on both sides. I
still feel guilty because she didn’t do anything wrong, but I also felt relieved like I stopped lying.
Did anyone else’s sexuality shift this hard after transition? And did you regret leaving someone good because of it? Don’t hugbox me.
Behind the iron bars of his own cowardice, a closeted tranny feels his life waste away as he stares out of the locked keyhole of his life, wishing he could be the brave and strong woman he longs to be but feeling far more akin to a persecuted Jewish girl instead. Imagine comparing yourself to Anne fucking Frank because you won't commit to public skirt-go-spinny and choose to hide away in your hovel instead!
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The title.
I've been unemployed for over a year.
While I do occasionally go out to go job searching, going to the unemployment office, passing out resumes, it's getting rarer and rarer.
I recognize that I have the privilege of living in a blue state, and that I am safer than my peers, but it does little to dissuade me from this unhealthy behavior.
I feel disgusting for comparing ourselves to the victims of the Holocaust, but this is how I've thought of myself off and on throughout the entirety of last year.
I want to go to protests, to have a job, a life, but I entirely rely on my family for much of what I need. I do what chores I can around the house to help, but it isn't enough.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
EDIT:
Why am I being downvoted? We're all scared, and I'm aware there's a lot of fear-mongering lately, but I need this community now more than ever. I'm not trying to spread fear. I feel incredibly insecure and alone.
Unwanted visitor: a terminally online transbian shows us the importance of speaking up against the transgender menace even if we fear we may stand alone, for even the presence of a single dissident voice is enough to wound him deeply - especially among lesbians, whom he feels own the house of homosexuality and, through rejecting him, are "[shoeing] him out." Keep up the good work, ladies - and maybe add some salt rings and crucifixes to the mix!
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I dont know how to put it but if there's a sea of nice comments under a trans womens post, but maybe like 5 transphobic ones, ill instantly assume most people are transphobic. It dosent matter how many dislikes it has, One transphobe is enough to ruin me. Like It makes everything else feel double sided, like they just wanna be nice. Not like they actually care. I feel like every bodies so fake. Like
I feel like a fake lesbian because transphobic ones exist, and arent they technically already more lesbian then me? I mean
I already feel like a fucking guest of a lesbian so it feels like the owner of the house shoeing you out. I feel this horrible deep dark hole inside of me. I feel like i could never truly be loved. I feel like ill never truly be seen as a women. I feel like everybody constantly fakes it because they wanna feel good about "being nice to the delusional male." I feel like the entire world is just transphobic. I feel like it's impossible to not be transphobic.
I feel like ill never atcually be seen as a lesbian just a fake one, or a fethish. I hate it so fucking much.
I know im "suppose to have more positivity" but go onto a "positive" subreddit search "trans" and let the massacre begin.
A gayden - i.e., a gay-fetishizing heterosexual woman - can't shake the feeling she has that she's got no business being among gay men as compatriots, even though she's definitely gay. Her evidence? She's been to Folsom, she's been thinking "nothing but gay thoughts" since doping up and historically, she's been the biggest fruit fly the gay bars of her area had ever seen. But what causes her trepidation, however, isn't that she was born female and is divorcing a man she'd enjoyed a loving marriage with, but because she doesn't want to do hook-ups on Grindr because she's old and her bones hurt. With such a loving and kind way of viewing gay men, I think I should advise that the homosexual homies reading this also take up some salt rings and crucifixes of their own.
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First up, I have a therapist and this is one of the things I am going to work on, but I want to see if there are any guys out there my age that have struggled with this and if you can kick me in the ass about it. Warning for some internalized transphobia near the end (I am aware it's false and unhealthy - I mean it when I say kick my ass).
I'm 39 and I've been on T for 2 years, post-top as of last summer, legal docs changed, and I am living out as a man now after having spent several years living as non-binary before I realized that no it was just my fear of medical transition and rejection holding me back.
I'm also going through a sad dissolution of my marriage. My ex-partner is also trans, but she realized she's a lesbian. I realized that I'm gay, so it's amicable, but I am in a tough mental phase processing that loss while also worrying about the future.
Because
I'm still struggling with accepting that I am a gay man. Which feels weird. I was raised in an atheist household and I was out as "bisexual" since 14. No direct religious trauma, etc. (sure there's societal messaging, but I at least never had to religiously deconstruct), but I do feel that I was terribly impacted by TERF rhetoric through some queer spaces when I was younger that led to repression.
The thing is that I've been in gay and queer spaces for much of my life. I spent years in my 20s going to gay bars as a "cis woman" (gee, I wonder why I was so drawn to it...). Even just last year I went out to the gay bars for Pride.
I have even volunteered for San Francisco Pride, done Folsom, and gone out in the Castro, that's how damn gay I am. I am gay! Since going on T where my libido not only came back but shot up to 1000,
I have been thinking nothing but constantly gay thoughts. I hope this sounds hilarious, because it really is. You have no idea. I am extremely gay for men. It is breathtaking that I managed to force myself into the closet this long. My egg finally cracking and everything coming together sure has everything make a lot of damn sense now!
I was that girlie that hung out at the gay bars around the gay boys because oops actually I am just a gay man. I even was that friend that would help and encourage other people to go to Pride or gay bars and would chaperone. It's that ridiculous.
But I am
terrified now. Post-top surgery I pass. I have a deep voice. I am read as male in public.
No problem, right? This is good? No, because it's like I am now being seen as me. There was some feeling of armour when I was just a queer woman hanging out around queer people, now it's hitting all of these raw feelings that kept me in denial in the first place. Examples:
That I'll never have the right anatomy. That I'll never be a real man, so why bother? That I'll be seen as a fetishist. Obviously, it's irrational to think that former friends that are gay would be offended or even know, but my imagination runs away with what they might think if we ever catch up. I took my social media profiles down, even. Then
there's also the difference between being around gay men, but still feeling totally culturally illiterate because I had different experiences. I've never been on Grindr and really don't want to be, for example. Which just adds to the imposter syndrome.
I feel like all of the advice and videos I run across are from trans men in their early to mid twenties and talking about sexual health and hooking up. But it falls flat for me, because I know all this. I already had a big long queer life - just as the wrong gender. There's a lot of embarrassment and grief going along with that, like
maybe my 20s would have gone a lot better than being wasted on hooking up with closeted bi/gay guys trying to make it with a "woman" (yes, I actually did that. Ugh).
I'm really feeling my age, too. I have some (online) friends that are trans guys who are excited about cruising and getting to live that in their 30s/40s, whereas I end up feeling alienated and exhausted at the idea because I don't really want to relive my 20s? My joints hurt, going to raves is behind me, and I already went through the self-discovery phase of terrible casual sex. Hookups aren't for me, but I feel all this imposter syndrome and pressure, like if I don't like casual sex and I'm not excited about cruising, does that mean that I'm even gay or am I just delusional like I always feared I was? I haven't been with men in several years, so that's also part of it. Add into the complications around ending a long term relationship/marriage, and altogether, it has me despair and it's really poorly affecting my mental health with some severe grief and depression with all this imposter syndrome crashing in.
Has anyone else felt like this? Managed to push through it?
It has to be similar to how trans women feel like they're "invading" lesbian spaces. It's unexpected, probably triggered by the end of my relationship, and I don't know how to start to unpack and counter this.
If a friend felt like this, I'd drag him out and tell him to shut up and flirt, but when it comes to myself I just feel frozen like a hypocrite.
Digital deadname dilemma: back when he still believed he was a man, a Redditor gave himself a very mature, clever and amusing username - but now that cat ears and Discord servers are whispering to him like the Green Goblin mask, his chosen username leaves a sour taste in his mouth.
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So I made this account when I was still repressing myself. So I made it something stupid.
u/FuckCock69420. I hate this fuckass name so much. I wish I made it something more feminine. Honestly I might make another account and tell all the friends I made here to message me there.
Sainsbury's saint: on a trip to the supermarket, a tranny is intercepted from his attempt to enter the ladies' loo by a brave woman who chose to
physically block him from entering the room all by herself To keep from making a scene, OP relents and goes to a gender-neutral family bathroom instead, only to learn that the woman had attempted to have staff remove him from the premises to no avail. Though the staff may have had spines of Jell-O that day, I tip a briny bowler to any defender of women's spaces, so this is both a W and an L - one of my favorite genres of posts.
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Quick vent. I was at Sainsbury’s grabbing some supplies and suddenly really needed to use the bathroom.
As I headed toward the women’s restroom, a woman physically stepped in front of me and said, “You’re not a woman.”
I replied, “I’m definitely not a man either, so I’m not using theirs.”
She didn’t respond just kept standing in my way. So I turned around, said “fine,” and went to the single-use family bathroom instead. When I came back out,
she stood there for a few minutes giving me dirty looks.
While I was checking out, one of the employees came up to me and apologized.
Apparently, she had gone to them to try and get me kicked out. The worker told her, “I’m not kicking someone out for trying to use a public restroom. You need to move on.”
A FTM too disabled to remember when to eat or drink without outside assistance has been put on testosterone, but her troubled little body isn't taking well to it as each injection causes her horrific amounts of pain for days after. I just feel like by the time you can't even care for yourself in such basic ways, you really shouldn't be eligible for a controversial and understudied cosmetic therapy, but maybe some doctors have a "ant under the microscope on a sunny day" mentality where they like to watch lesser life forms burn.
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Hello everyone,
I take injections in the back/ass muscle every 3 months.
Each time I have extreme, long lasting pain. I already have chronic pain, but I literally cannot put any weight on that leg for 2-4 days after injection, no matter what.
It sets in 2 mins after injection. During injection I have only very mild, very ignorable pressure, nothing to complain about or out of the ordinary.
I tried Gel already, but I am disabled w/ issues with memory and routine to the point where I struggle w/o outside help with drinking and eating and such, so this didn't go well at all, no matter how hard I tried.
When I brought it up to the doctor, he kinda shrugged and said we cant try another injection, we did, and the pain came back again.
So I went back to the doctor, who then berated me on "what am I supposed to do now? " and didn't even glance at it. He just kinda left me and I got picked up bc I once again couldn't walk properly. This time it was a lot better a lot faster (pain started going down at night, so after 12hs instead of fucking 4 days straight of pain worse than when I fractured my ankle, but this pain DOESN'T STOP.)
I really don't know what to do. I can't switch providers, but I'm scared it's like an allergic reaction or that I am actually harming my body by continuing the injection. I don't know what I'd do without being able to get the injection's tho, as I can't imagine going back and I sure as hell won't be able to get bottom surgery any time soon either.
Does anyone have any advice on what to try? What to do? I've been thinking maybe making an appointment with my gynocologists and asking her for different options since she did offer to inject it for me before.
I'm pretty sure the injection I used to get is testosterone undecanoate by ratiofarm (1000mg) by ratiopharm. I sadly don' remember to which we switched.
I'm terrified, please be kind.
Finally, a TiM who is barely fucking literate expresses anxiety around nipples - specifically his own, as he feels it is innately feminine for women to have a discomfort around being seen topless; however, because OP is transgender and therefore a deranged pervert, he admits that much of his opinion on the subject of bikini tops involves his own arousal invoked by them. I think rather than worrying about who wants to see his revolting gynecomastic nipples, OP should consider wearing a potato sack from head to toe for the rest of his life, and that way we'll all be happy.
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I get nightmares of using the men's restroom. I wish i was not allowed to show my nipples in public. I hate going to beaches and pools while secretly loving em because people in bikinis trigger me with layers of different emotions ranging from intense envy to sexual attraction. I wish I was born a bikini girl.
You can perhaps tell about my distress and severe anxiety.
I afraid of seeing my male chest as my breast are missing. I need Female Breasts. I afraid of taking my shirt off even in the bathrooms by myself. I don't want anyone too see my nipples as I feel violated and sexually harassed like a woman would.
No matter what gender I am, i
wouldn't want to have people see my nipples in public. Even if I were a cis male I would wear a bikini top because I love love such attire.
Its bullshit that an AFAB can't show their nipples while AMAB can get away.
In my opinion only Cis-males can show their nipples. This would eliminate the confusion with obscenity.
TBH,
as a feminist I think its taboo to police women's nipples. I argue a bikini top shows a woman's breasts more than cover em despite it's intended purpose. It's about perspective and I don't think either topless or covered is obscene.
My double standard with bikini tops bras as a trans-woman is I really love em and yet the patriarchy has us ladies wear em by law.
Yet
i found it gender affirming to be pressured to cover my chest thanks to these laws. Being shirtless outside was very dysphoric as a kid.
we need to be shocking so the cissies will listen to us!!1 We are THE most oppressed evar!!!"
