- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
It doesn't count if you just show up and take a nap!
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
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- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I knew that just by seeing the word "Hibachi" in the name. Shows lack of focus.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
they go "nigger I died for THIS ? fuck Jack Scalfani!"
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
American Chinese dishes on the menu of a "Japanese" restaurant are never a good sign.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
literal fucking bowling ball. serious James Hanzey vibes.
that's not saliva.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Bobo noodles when it's clearly marked "soba" noodles?
I mean I know the man is a fucking retard but how do you get "bobo" from "soba"?
"Sashimi is like sushi with no rice". Or you know, raw sliced fish. Besides the sushi part is actually the rice.
Not only lack of focus but unless there's a hibachi grill right there on the table it's not hibachi in fact more likely it's something like teppanyaki or just cooked on a flattop.
It's the fact that it's Chinese and Japanese food served in the same place that makes it weird to me.
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
Very hard time for me right now. Writing this as much to distract myself as to hopefully provide some humor or information for the board. My apologies if someone has already covered the dreadful, deranged and unbearably political F As In Fake & Gay from last weekend. I only had the strength to get through the first 15 minutes, plus a few random timestamps.
If you come to this corner of the Farms to avoid politics... well, condolences. Jack, in his advancing dementia, is irrepressibly political -- often by some miracle finding the exact, improbable stance that almost everyone would think is disingenuous and poorly informed. I press on his beliefs when relevant and, in so doing, slightly expose a small part of my own; I'm not sure how to avoid that, but if it's overbearing, please tell me.
I ridicule Jack because I hold him to the same standard I hold myself to, in matters both spiritual and secular: verse 1 Peter 3:15 tells us we should always be able to defend and explain the beliefs we hold.
Also, you've gotta love how Jack vacillates randomly between (a) acknowledging the word "woke" is so overused it's meaningless now and (b) overusing it himself with no sense of irony or self-reflection.
In addition, Jack here is doing something that many forever wounded narcissists do: expressing pity for someone or something that is doing just fine. The most pitiful among us love to elevate themselves by making a show of pitying others.
his Tammy's money), but also it's an industry he knows fuck-all about. If a more worthless human being has ever dragged its knuckles on the face of this planet, I beg the hive-mind to present them for analysis.
Surely this has nothing to do with the fact he hosts a "cooking" show where all he's ever done is poison himself.
Most people, even when they're being irrational and wrong, believe they're being rational and correct. And most of us keep this in mind when we consider other people's opinions. Not Jack. He can't even fathom why some people, somewhere, might disagree with a government's decision to capture a foreign leader (and his wife) against their will.
Hell, he can't even move beyond thinking, Well, if all the people there like it, then it must be good, which even if true (and it can't be, because no population unilaterally likes anything) would not make the liked thing a good thing necessarily.
No, Jack is content to merely not "get" why anyone would ever disagree with him -- mouth agape to catch some flies from his egg jar.
kk gg no re
Two, even if we were to grant that a crap-ton more Venezuelans are watching Crowder's show than before, it doesn't explain why they're watching. It doesn't prove they're watching because they're "not upset." The viewing patterns for Louder with Crowder are not evidence for the collective sentiment of an entire country.
It's Jack's right to think the killing was justified. But on his show he claims to share objective facts and common sense with us. Why not discuss the fact that all of the agent's bullets were discharged in under one second, yet some of them entered through a side window? Is that not even a discussion-worthy challenge to the narrative that a man's life was at risk because he was sufficiently 'in front' of the car?
It's also Jack's right to think the agents are good people. But why not talk about how the ones on that particular scene denied this citizen medical treatment -- despite the presence of a self-identified physician -- which is unconstitutional?
We already know the answer: Jack is not interested in real, honest conversation. He wants to lecture us based on the glop of facts that he hamster-drinks from biased sources which affirm his worldview. This, and he's a nasty avatar for all seven deadly sins (lust includes homosexuality), and to his last curdled breath will just root for "his team" to annihilate anyone he thinks is not on it. Which is rich given he looks like this:
Are car draggings the opposite of lightning strikes? If you've been hit and dragged by a car before, odds are you'll be hit and dragged in the future by more cars?
Also, for whatever it's worth (nothing), Jack has fear in his eyes as he's talking here. It's because he knows he's regurgitating and has no first-hand thoughts or original conclusions about this incident. And he knows that's how a lot of his smackdowns start online: with him stating stuff as absolute fact when (ironically) he has not done any of his own research.
Jimmy recovers by asking us to think about what if the agent had been sucked under the car and dragged because his uniform or something got caught in the bumper. Jack, nervous, admits this would mean the agent was not in life-threatening danger. He then stops talking for 30 seconds as he recalibrates how to bring things back to his safe space: Everyone bad and dumb except me. He finds a way.
Love how he can't even be arsed to finish the insult (which otherwise is so vivid, lol). Some ideas: "Well, the cat looked like it belonged to an ICE agent!" "Well, the cat listened to Tim Poole!" "Well, the cat didn't believe in the birthright of Jews to Israel!" See? Not hard. Weird and not all that fun or interesting or funny, but not hard, and clearly the direction he was headed in.
Instead, he conjures this extreme hypothetical to ridicule his 'enemies' in the livestream, then can't even put a proper bow on it. Just trails off before insisting again that all the world is so evil it would punt a cat for some reason. As if the straightforwardness of that scenario relates to the lethal interaction between an American citizen, an agent of the state, and a deadly weapon that was technically moving.
But, of course, a cat-punt is much, much easier for a dying imbecile to posture about.
* And again, the point here isn't to question if Jack is or is not entitled to believe whatever he believes -- he is. The point is he is one of the most braindead and inarticulate motherfuckers you will ever hear speak, and he's convinced all the same that he's the only Real Man of Genius who truly understands the world.
More importantly (based on this NYT article):
Jack, the beacon of non-divisiveness who insists that our differences don't matter and he does not care about them, replies: "I don't know what they're allowing going on [sic] in New York. They literally must be smoking paella."
Yes. Paella. New Yorkers smoke paella! Sounds delicious. (Presumably, of course, he means "peyote" -- but you know. The retardation.)
It's the same person who bitterly said he couldn't wait for the Olympics to be over when everyone else in America just soaked up the summer sun and happily watched their countrymen dominate. Who insulted people over the phone if they didn't like his barbecue sauce. Who lied to friends from church about the real reason (i.e., narcissistic rage) he chose to violently choke his son, who "didn't fight back," to the point of epistaxis.
Who gleefully belongs to a church whose founder murdered a Sunday school teacher with a buck knife. Who fantasizes about home intruders so he can use the loaded gun he keeps in his bedside drawer. Who not only showed viewers how to poison themselves with plastic-leeched omelettes but also (and far more egregiously) doubled down 15 years later, insisting what he did was safe despite indisputable proof it can't be, given the melting point of the plastic bags used.
Who plagued and mocked and pestered his elderly, handicapped mother on multiple occasions. Who then abused her memory by falsely claiming her 'recent' death had caused him to suffer his televised humiliation -- when she'd really died four years prior. Who fed the elders and children of his congregation rotten meat and then pretended (angrily and unconvincingly) on various livestreams that he had no idea what people were talking about when they referred to it.
Who white-knighted against a female boxer in the Olympics because he thought she was secretly "a dude" punching out women for an easy medal -- but now loves to pontificate about women getting beat the fuck up by men with his brother Charles, who proudly hates all women except his own daughter.
Romans 2:3
When you, a mere human being, pass judgment on [others] and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?
2 Timothy 3
Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.
If you come to this corner of the Farms to avoid politics... well, condolences. Jack, in his advancing dementia, is irrepressibly political -- often by some miracle finding the exact, improbable stance that almost everyone would think is disingenuous and poorly informed. I press on his beliefs when relevant and, in so doing, slightly expose a small part of my own; I'm not sure how to avoid that, but if it's overbearing, please tell me.
I ridicule Jack because I hold him to the same standard I hold myself to, in matters both spiritual and secular: verse 1 Peter 3:15 tells us we should always be able to defend and explain the beliefs we hold.
"The global games market will generate $188.8 billion in 2025, a +3.4% increase year-on-year." (Source)
Also, you've gotta love how Jack vacillates randomly between (a) acknowledging the word "woke" is so overused it's meaningless now and (b) overusing it himself with no sense of irony or self-reflection.
In addition, Jack here is doing something that many forever wounded narcissists do: expressing pity for someone or something that is doing just fine. The most pitiful among us love to elevate themselves by making a show of pitying others.
The Fable series launched in 2004, so Jack is not only expressing pity for an industry (you know, a congealment of corporate entities that exist solely to take
This is roughly equivalent to someone saying, "You're a fan of New York City. I hear it's a really busy city to live in." Jack would say he's been a professional interviewer for more than 20 years, and this is what it looks like for him to ply his craft.
This might as well be published as Jack's Theory of Everything, because it's his view on all parts of the human experience. What's the point of doing anything if it's extremely hard? It's not possible to have fun while being challenged! There is no reward to be had in the journey of failing, improving your skills, and then succeeding in the end.
Surely this has nothing to do with the fact he hosts a "cooking" show where all he's ever done is poison himself.
No matter where you land on this topic, what is the point of broaching it in this way? Of hosting a live show, with a live co-host, and a live chat, where you claim to want to discuss timely topics -- just to hand-wave away an intense geopolitical situation with the vocabulary of a(n extremely dumb) six year old?
Most people, even when they're being irrational and wrong, believe they're being rational and correct. And most of us keep this in mind when we consider other people's opinions. Not Jack. He can't even fathom why some people, somewhere, might disagree with a government's decision to capture a foreign leader (and his wife) against their will.
Hell, he can't even move beyond thinking, Well, if all the people there like it, then it must be good, which even if true (and it can't be, because no population unilaterally likes anything) would not make the liked thing a good thing necessarily.
No, Jack is content to merely not "get" why anyone would ever disagree with him -- mouth agape to catch some flies from his egg jar.
If you heard a child say this, there's a small part of your brain that would be alarmed. Like, I know this kid is a kid but... isn't this stupid, even for a kid?
Right. Because when presented with a chance to stockpile a natural resource, countries -- especially superpowers -- are known for being maximally cool about it.
He is engaged in magical thinking and on some level knows he is.
True, so...?
Can't believe anybody or anything, yet Jack believes without question that all of the people in a given country are overjoyed about a massive political event -- mainly because the folks that caused the event are telling him they are.
kk gg no re
One, something isn't meaningful or even true just because Steven Crowder (or some other "conservative" commentator) says it is.
Two, even if we were to grant that a crap-ton more Venezuelans are watching Crowder's show than before, it doesn't explain why they're watching. It doesn't prove they're watching because they're "not upset." The viewing patterns for Louder with Crowder are not evidence for the collective sentiment of an entire country.
Everyone on earth agrees with Jack Scalfani. Anyone who seems not to is a paid actor.
I'm not going to get (too far) into the specifics of this incident. Not only because details continue to emerge but also because (a) that's not the point of this post and (b) I'm no expert on what transpired, as I've found it hard and sad to engage with a death video.
It's Jack's right to think the killing was justified. But on his show he claims to share objective facts and common sense with us. Why not discuss the fact that all of the agent's bullets were discharged in under one second, yet some of them entered through a side window? Is that not even a discussion-worthy challenge to the narrative that a man's life was at risk because he was sufficiently 'in front' of the car?
It's also Jack's right to think the agents are good people. But why not talk about how the ones on that particular scene denied this citizen medical treatment -- despite the presence of a self-identified physician -- which is unconstitutional?
We already know the answer: Jack is not interested in real, honest conversation. He wants to lecture us based on the glop of facts that he hamster-drinks from biased sources which affirm his worldview. This, and he's a nasty avatar for all seven deadly sins (lust includes homosexuality), and to his last curdled breath will just root for "his team" to annihilate anyone he thinks is not on it. Which is rich given he looks like this:
How is this relevant? Why did he say this with such gravitas?
Are car draggings the opposite of lightning strikes? If you've been hit and dragged by a car before, odds are you'll be hit and dragged in the future by more cars?
So someone with PTSD that expresses itself violently and at a moment's notice is the kind of person we want capturing live human beings who might not speak English on the streets of our most famous and economically productive cities. Got it.
No one says this, because it's a combination of two different R*ddit-tier sayings. But Jack would know a lot about FAFO, wouldn't he? For a few decades he used cheeseburgers to dry his tears, and now he's a paraplegic larping as a biped -- who'll be dead and buried (in the cheapest coffin his porcine helpmeet can find) before his grandson leaves middle school.
As of this writing, this is misleading at best and inaccurate at worst. Multiple outlets have examined the footage from all angles and distances. Some have concluded there was no contact; some have concluded there may have been slight or incidental contact; some have concluded it's not possible to tell; none have concluded the threat level necessitated killing.
Also, for whatever it's worth (nothing), Jack has fear in his eyes as he's talking here. It's because he knows he's regurgitating and has no first-hand thoughts or original conclusions about this incident. And he knows that's how a lot of his smackdowns start online: with him stating stuff as absolute fact when (ironically) he has not done any of his own research.
Jack and Jimmy are caught off-guard and start to stammer.
Jimmy recovers by asking us to think about what if the agent had been sucked under the car and dragged because his uniform or something got caught in the bumper. Jack, nervous, admits this would mean the agent was not in life-threatening danger. He then stops talking for 30 seconds as he recalibrates how to bring things back to his safe space: Everyone bad and dumb except me. He finds a way.
Is strangling a child wrong?
Mr. Toastmaster, as always, argues his point eloquently.
Love how he can't even be arsed to finish the insult (which otherwise is so vivid, lol). Some ideas: "Well, the cat looked like it belonged to an ICE agent!" "Well, the cat listened to Tim Poole!" "Well, the cat didn't believe in the birthright of Jews to Israel!" See? Not hard. Weird and not all that fun or interesting or funny, but not hard, and clearly the direction he was headed in.
Instead, he conjures this extreme hypothetical to ridicule his 'enemies' in the livestream, then can't even put a proper bow on it. Just trails off before insisting again that all the world is so evil it would punt a cat for some reason. As if the straightforwardness of that scenario relates to the lethal interaction between an American citizen, an agent of the state, and a deadly weapon that was technically moving.
But, of course, a cat-punt is much, much easier for a dying imbecile to posture about.
* And again, the point here isn't to question if Jack is or is not entitled to believe whatever he believes -- he is. The point is he is one of the most braindead and inarticulate motherfuckers you will ever hear speak, and he's convinced all the same that he's the only Real Man of Genius who truly understands the world.
Mamdani was elected on November 4, 2025 and was sworn in on January 1, 2026. Bus fare rose 10 cents three days later. But that's a technical quibble.
More importantly (based on this NYT article):
- The fare increase was approved in September 2025 -- two months before Mamdani was elected and officially during the tenure of his predecessor, Eric Adams.
- To quote the article: "The 10-cent increase is modest — less than 4 percent of the current fare — at a time when other public transit systems in the United States are adopting double-digit percentage increases."
How demure! Very ladylike.
To quote Jack's own words from a different livestream: "You literally never took a history class? Ever? In, like, your whole life?"
At 40:40, Jimmy asks Jack, "What do you think about Mamdani swearing in on the Quran?"
Jack, the beacon of non-divisiveness who insists that our differences don't matter and he does not care about them, replies: "I don't know what they're allowing going on [sic] in New York. They literally must be smoking paella."
Yes. Paella. New Yorkers smoke paella! Sounds delicious. (Presumably, of course, he means "peyote" -- but you know. The retardation.)
This is the same person who ignored his brother Jim in real time as Jim admitted on three separate occasions in the span of about a minute that he contemplated suicide when he was a teenager, partially because he knew his own brothers hated him. It's also the same person who "wants to watch all of New York City crumble beyond belief." His maternal family is from New York and his sister currently lives there.
It's the same person who bitterly said he couldn't wait for the Olympics to be over when everyone else in America just soaked up the summer sun and happily watched their countrymen dominate. Who insulted people over the phone if they didn't like his barbecue sauce. Who lied to friends from church about the real reason (i.e., narcissistic rage) he chose to violently choke his son, who "didn't fight back," to the point of epistaxis.
Who gleefully belongs to a church whose founder murdered a Sunday school teacher with a buck knife. Who fantasizes about home intruders so he can use the loaded gun he keeps in his bedside drawer. Who not only showed viewers how to poison themselves with plastic-leeched omelettes but also (and far more egregiously) doubled down 15 years later, insisting what he did was safe despite indisputable proof it can't be, given the melting point of the plastic bags used.
Who plagued and mocked and pestered his elderly, handicapped mother on multiple occasions. Who then abused her memory by falsely claiming her 'recent' death had caused him to suffer his televised humiliation -- when she'd really died four years prior. Who fed the elders and children of his congregation rotten meat and then pretended (angrily and unconvincingly) on various livestreams that he had no idea what people were talking about when they referred to it.
Who white-knighted against a female boxer in the Olympics because he thought she was secretly "a dude" punching out women for an easy medal -- but now loves to pontificate about women getting beat the fuck up by men with his brother Charles, who proudly hates all women except his own daughter.
Romans 2:3
When you, a mere human being, pass judgment on [others] and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?
2 Timothy 3
Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
In their defense they also need to cater to the "local market" of white trash like the Scalfanis. Not like they'll know the difference.
Tammy ordered crab rangoon FFS, which is as Chinese as a hotdog!
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
This is nothing new. Jack once said literally the singular, only reason he could not vote for Barack Obama, who he otherwise admired and supported, was his middle name. The worst, most ludicrous foreign caricature of an uninformed, knee-jerk American voter never reaches as low as Jack. Jack is the liberal's ideal straw man opponent, but he actually exists.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
This is the place that gives you painful screaming diarrhea and war flashbacks whenever someone suggests seafood. But to Jack that just helps given his refusal to eat anything with fiber.
That means it's going to be fucking terrible if you are a dumb enough fuck to buy sushi or sashimi here. Asian fusion places are usually run by Chinese who want to branch out, and their quality control is very questionable outside of their base cuisine. There's a reason there's memes about getting noro and gut pains from the sushi there.
I'd trust a Chinese place with fried rice and delicious stir-pots with velveted meat. I'd not trust them to make me raw fish.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
Yeah these are at the same level of Chinese human trafficking as Asian massage parlors. But full of dudes.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2022
The real crazy thing is that he had to specifically signal out his middle name as if "Barack" or "Obama" alone aren't ethnic names.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
Bison and Jesus alike.
The "Barack HUSSEIN Obama" was a dumb right wing boomer thing when he was president. It's not because Hussein is anymore ethnic than Barack or Obama, it's because morons only know it because of Saddam Hussein. It's the equivalent in their minds of saying Barack Evil Satanic Muslim Man Obama
Hamburger Detractor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2025
Jack saw that for the most difficult and painful memories in his life,
there was only one set of scootypuff tracks.
Turning to the Lord, he said,
"Y u no stay and give gud MEATZ?"
And Jesus said to him
"Because you're too goddamn fat to carry."
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
And ironically, it's actually flat out wrong to call teppanyaki "hibachi." It might not even be teppanyaki.
Really, the only place to get sushi is somewhere that focuses on it. That doesn't mean it can't have other dishes like tempura but this kind of random pan-Asian bullshit usually sucks. I'd rather eat at a strip mall sushi joint that focused solely on the sushi than one of those places.
The best are when it's run by one specific sushi chef with a personal style. Like one place I used to go had a dude who seemed totally obsessed with poker and had a selection of the traditional rolls but also poker-themed rolls and did things like using different colored fish roe on the surface or inside the roll to form spades, hearts, clubs and diamonds.
Anyway I wouldn't dream of getting sushi at a place like that. If I had to, maybe a California roll or something grocery store sushi like that. But this is Jagoff. He'll eat raw seafood from a place that might as well be a gas station. Seafood poisoning is so bad I'm not going to mess around with anywhere it's treated as a side item.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
Egghead Jack is unusually quiet. Did he get bitch slapped and told to be quiet? He's basically whispering.
tamham flipping the menu for him.
3:00 those noodles look mid as fuck. I love a good lo mein. This chinese place I frequent makes the best lo mein. Guilty pleasure.
3:30 Tams is pissed.
3:53 4:26 4:49 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
5:40 Jacko's favorite
7:20 basic white bitch.
Tammy two hands didn't use chopsticks.
A+? I'm thinking B at best.
Hungry Homeless Handjob
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2021
I want to rep White Trash Adventures, which does Jack's schtick of reviewing local restaurants without his blatant retardation. This slightly dysgenic couple visit spots in the Midwest and give their honest reviews of the food.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Half the things on that menu weren't Chinese. They're, at best, American versions of Chinese dishes.
He's also the type that would use Obama's full name emphasizing the "Hussein" part because, you know, that other Hussein guy was a baddie so you have to make that connection. And yet the people that do this never called Biden by his middle name or Trump for that matter making the whole thing just weird as hell.
I was being generous. If it's cooked on a flattop then fine I'll accept that it's at least an attempt at teppanyaki. After all to be teppanyaki it needs to be cooked on a teppan or iron / steel plate. The whole flipping things and banging the implements though that's purely American and done for show. Have it in Japan and the guy is still cooking it in front of you but it's the skill with how he does it that is impressive.