I was convicted because I unwisely decided to spare said third party embarrassment by not speaking in my own defense. I made a very serious mistake. I could have cut the case to shreds very easily since the prosecutor was relying on a two second audio clip as primary evidence, but did not wish to continue the litigation.
Oops.
To be clear I did not beat my wife, I did not assault said third party, I did not point a gun at anyone, etc, etc, etc. Everything will be exposed shortly. When it is there are a lot of people who will be proven wrong, and most of them will get cognitive dissonance, refuse to admit they were wrong, and quickly forget all about the issue because it is mentally inconvenient.