🪦 Deceased Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Spunt said:
The ICE incident was earlier, but we don't know exactly when. Ashli was supposedly in ICE custody for a month. (Link) It came to light in 2020 but appears to be from much earlier. The Goon posting in the thread said that they had to FoIA the record after it was sealed (the "kidnapping" incident wasn't sealed) but you can't FoIA sealed records so far as I know so I dunno. The allegation this time was of assault (on Lowtax by Ashli), not kidnapping, Lowtax said this happened twice but it's Lowtax so who knows. This Goon also said that the arrest record turned up on the Farms, but I don't remember ever seeing it or having anyone mention it, at least not until Ashli was in the DV shelter after the second incident, which is why the two get mixed up. A lot of these threads got deleted so it's hard to work out exactly what happened. But it's definitely a separate, earlier incident. The problem is that the only three people who have ever said they have knowledge of it are Lowtax, Ashli and some random Goon, all of whom give differing accounts and none of whom can be trusted.
Click to expand...
The ICE incident occurred supposedly in 2018. According to the police report, Ashli struck Rich in his neck and he called the cops. According to Rich's statement he provided, Ashli had actually struck him on multiple previous occasions and he only called the cops this time because the last time she had done so he had threatened to call them if she chose to do it again. According to the police report, Ashli had a detainer on her given her status as an illegal immigrant and that is why she was turned over to ICE after being booked for domestic violence. Rich's statement also mentioned that he didn't want to see her deported and that he was going to contact an immigration attorney.

The police report was posted on here. It was actually posted by Null, the reason why it often gets brought up with the parental kidnapping and divorce stuff is because that is when it was sent to Null. For those who don't remember what happened, Null received it via an anonymous entity sending it via a throw-away email right as Rich's divorce was getting underway. Per the domestic violence masterpost that covers all of Rich's allegations with his partners, evidence was later uncovered by members on here that Rich had likely been the one who had sent the document to Null hoping that it would help discredit his wife in the public eye.

That is everything that happened in regards to this. The ICE incident was a separate thing from Ashli later fleeing from their house, the only reason we know about it however is because Rich was trying to use it as ammunition against Ashli when their separation began.
 
Big Nasty said:
Lowtax has a Grokipedia.com article. It erroneously claims Ashli being the mother of all his children.

Also gives the location of his death as Plano, TX.

Says FYAD stands for "Fashion Your Avatar's Dad"

https://grokipedia.com/page/Richard_Kyanka
Click to expand...
This is a good example of the limitations of AI when it comes to creative subject matters. Humans are able to think on a case by case basis and really figure out what needs to be said.

The opening OP to this thread obviously has a deliberate comedic slant to it, but the people who wrote it really did the best job of summing up Rich's life and why things fell apart for him. You need people who can seriously evaluate and tell you the story.
 
1762196542684.png
1762196605483.png
 
Well I firmed up on what I’m gonna do for Lowtax’s deathaversary - purple flowers (hyacinth and chrysanthemum) and a dedication in memory of those who “have struggled with mental illness” because being frank that I’m donating flowers in memory of suicides hits too close to home with other parishioners who have had family members commit suicide or who have family members at risk of joining the 41%.

I could write another remembrance but I’m running out of stuff to remember. I carry on and his memory grows ever more distant and the stuff I talked about before would be a retread. It’s actually difficult to write a yahrzeit for someone every year. They keep being dead and you move on.

Maybe we can have some funeral games? I’m open to suggestion.

The Noise said:
Another very important note is that during the fundraiser he did to move the site over to XenForo, Null said he could do the full transfer for $20,000 USD and reached out to Richard to offer to help. It was apparently going to happen until Richard reportedly "gave up and collapsed" and just used all his fundraiser money to acquire more pills.

It would've been a big project but it'd definitely be doable. Writing import scripts to transfer accounts from one database to another isn't uncommon and the biggest pain point would be the custom stuff. Null is probably the only person alive who is familiar enough with XF to integrate a payment gateway so it's unfortunate that Lowtax was so fucking lazy that he couldn't even be arsed to pay someone to do the work for him.
Click to expand...
The kicker here is that Null is very good at XenForo because he has to be and Rich never updated SA because his users were content to use a shitty outdated UI; so Null’s >>> Lowtax on any reckoning
BlueSpark said:
Lowtax's essence still roams the earth, antagonizing fags on Bluesky:

View attachment 8001511
Click to expand...
He lives he dies he lives again in us. Mangosteen 4ever; it’s a real Easter miracle.
 
Stan said:
Well I firmed up on what I’m gonna do for Lowtax’s deathaversary - purple flowers (hyacinth and chrysanthemum) and a dedication in memory of those who “have struggled with mental illness” because being frank that I’m donating flowers in memory of suicides hits too close to home with other parishioners who have had family members commit suicide or who have family members at risk of joining the 41%.
Click to expand...
Looks like Null is getting in on the Lowtax commemoration action too
Null said:
For $20 you can just buy an account that has full access to the forum and comes with the green banner.
Click to expand...

Null

Thread 'The Gay Pedophile at the Gates'

TL;DR: There is a persistent threat to the forum which I believe to be UnrealSkybox. Until I have a better plan, registrations will be closed when I am not actively monitoring the forum.

Read more: https://kiwifarms.st/threads/james-r-conrad-unrealskybox-leto-unicodefag-david-hoffman.128989/

I believe his name is James R. Conrad based off the posts in that thread and I believe it is him because (1) he has a history of doing this and (2) he took credit.
Apparently the name James Conrad is some faggot from Steam trolling clique Gamerfood that UnrealSkybox hates. His real name...
Reactions:Informative x 399 Feels x 337 Like x 152 Semper Fidelis x 10 Winner x 5 Lunacy x 4 Mad at the Internet x 2 DRINK! x 2 Islamic Content x 2 Agree x 2 Horrifying x 166 Thunk-Provoking x 9 Autistic x 1 Optimistic x 1
 
Stan said:
Well I firmed up on what I’m gonna do for Lowtax’s deathaversary - purple flowers (hyacinth and chrysanthemum) and a dedication in memory of those who “have struggled with mental illness” because being frank that I’m donating flowers in memory of suicides hits too close to home with other parishioners who have had family members commit suicide or who have family members at risk of joining the 41%.

I could write another remembrance but I’m running out of stuff to remember. I carry on and his memory grows ever more distant and the stuff I talked about before would be a retread. It’s actually difficult to write a yahrzeit for someone every year. They keep being dead and you move on.

Maybe we can have some funeral games? I’m open to suggestion
Click to expand...
I would celebrate Rich's death date by doing all his favorite things in life: eating junk food, losing your cool on other people for no reason, pay a hooker to give you a footjob and pass out on your couch in a drug-induced state while watching a movie no one has ever heard of.
 
BlueSpark said:
Lowtax's ex wife (the Canadian one) is whining on Bluesky about ICE and reveals that Lowtax actually did something funny when he was alive:
Click to expand...
The main reason Ashli was able to be captured by ICE is because she overstayed to begin with. She came over to visit Richard, got pregnant and then said "oops guess I'm not going back to Canada now!". She didn't have a legal visa and marrying Richard wouldn't have made her any more legal than she was. But I've heard of immigration lawyers suggesting you just overstay on a visit and then apply for change of status.

The problem is, if you are going to try and make the marriage the basis for your being in the US - you need a sponsor to support your application for the green card. Richard originally promised to help her get her green card, then got too busy being drunk/high/ seducing other women to make it happen.

I remember her whining to Null or someone else who posted in this thread that because of being in limbo, she couldn't do anything - which is true. No AOS means you can't work and can't get social security.

Unfortunately there are always scummy guys out there that woo a lady and encourage her to come to America and then withhold documents or threaten to deport them like Richard did. This is covered under the VAWA act - which is why MapleWife could hang out in the shelter.

I understand why she feels the way she does - but if she had been less impulsive then she wouldn't have been in that situation.
 
LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2 said:
This is a good example of the limitations of AI when it comes to creative subject matters. Humans are able to think on a case by case basis and really figure out what needs to be said.

The opening OP to this thread obviously has a deliberate comedic slant to it, but the people who wrote it really did the best job of summing up Rich's life and why things fell apart for him. You need people who can seriously evaluate and tell you the story.
Click to expand...

We went back and edited the OP to cover pretty much everything that happened here. Glad you like it!
 
RisingPhoenix said:
I understand why she feels the way she does - but if she had been less impulsive then she wouldn't have been in that situation.
Click to expand...
MapleWife was a pill head and a retard. Cryanka had a knack for finding broken bitches, as we see with Marge the Barge remembering the day he died just upthread. Despite being a drunk and an opiate addict who talked about his giant opiate shits, he always had some woman he was banging.
 
The Hardest R said:
Despite being a drunk and an opiate addict who talked about his giant opiate shits, he always had some woman he was banging.
Click to expand...
He always had women to bang specifically because he targeted dumb broads. They were all either morons, mentally-ill, drug-addicted or simply had nothing else going for them in their lives. Part of it was too that he did have a facade of being a successful human being. He had money to spend, he a business he could namedrop. If a woman googled Something Awful they wouldn't find any of the finer elements about the website being in ruins, they would have just find the glowing praises of how it was a major website and brand online.

More stable women would have realized the reality surrounding him far sooner. For other women it took them getting deep into the relationship to realize they had fucked up.
 
LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2 said:
He always had women to bang specifically because he targeted dumb broads. They were all either morons, mentally-ill, drug-addicted or simply had nothing else going for them in their lives. Part of it was too that he did have a facade of being a successful human being. He had money to spend, he a business he could namedrop. If a woman googled Something Awful they wouldn't find any of the finer elements about the website being in ruins, they would have just find the glowing praises of how it was a major website and brand online.

More stable women would have realized the reality surrounding him far sooner. For other women it took them getting deep into the relationship to realize they had fucked up.
Click to expand...
Lowtax had charm and was quite intelligent. Anyone who talked to him (and didn't just find him passed out on boxed wine and "blood pressure meds") says that he had a decent brain when he wasn't killing it with pills. He was just extremely lazy and the charm was just an act that he'd stop once he got what he wanted (goonette feet)

This ability to charm people temporarily is common in addicts because they need to convince friends and family members that they are turning their lives around and they need a 2nd chance.

So all he needed to do was target the low-self esteem 20s thot crowd and give them the attention they crave and give them the tools they need to lie to to themselves.

Maplewife's sign of utter concave brain isn't that Lowtax was allowed to slide up and hit that, its that she let him rawdog her.
 
Last edited:
Happy anniversary, let's do somthing fun

I've been reading a lot of alt history stories lately like a weirdo, so let's make our own alt history

What if back when lowtax joined the farms during the shmorky debacle he actually grew a backbone and teamed up with null to improve SA?

I would imagen the crying from troons would of been tasty and there would of been another golden age of SA content as all the faggots run in terror of funny people who say slurs
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom