That's pretty good but still not quite enough. Here's my idea:
Nuke them.
While I can understand the sentiment, that is a bad idea. All the poo lying in the streets, unflushed, will get kicked up in the fallout, aeresolized and activated. While LA and Portland might deserve to covered in radioactive shit dust (just another day for them, really) it would have horrific effect on the marine marine wildlife throughout the pacific ocean. Recall how the American bald eagle nearly went extinct before DDT and other organochloride chemicals were banned by the EPA. Bioaccumlation up the food chain is an insidious thing. I really enjoy the taste of wild-caught pacific salmon, and would like it to not start tasting like the radioactive remnants of India. If I want to taste radioactive butt holes, I'll go visit a bathhouse in Richland, WA.
Right? It's funny and sad because both state parties have actual competent options and both state parties have decided to inflict the worst possible choices on the state. It's just fucking bleak.
I propose a populist solution, one which, even if it ultimately fails, if it gains even a fraction of traction, will make the GOPe faggots trying to sabotage everything by forcing the shit-eater to utterly
seethe, and thus be very, very funny.
Since you're being denied your primary, get together with some like-minded friends, and hash out who you think would be the most viable candidate. Even if you don't think they'll win without the backing of the local GOP, pick the person you think has the best chances of peeling votes away from the pajeet and the Democratic candidate.
Once you and your friends have your guy picked out, organize a write-in campaign. The GOPe faggots trying to coronate a shit-eater might be able to force their candidate, but the don't have to force you to vote for him. Get your friends to agree to write in your guy, get your friends' friends to agree to write-in. Organize. Hit the ground. Pass out flyers. Canvass. Convince others. And in all of this, be like the Kiwifarms jannies: do it for free.
If you get the buy in and official support from your preferred candidate, that will make it even funnier.
You'll get pushback and criticism. Other republicans will accuse you of trying to foment a populist mutiny within the party. Be open and honest that yes, that is
exactly what you are doing. What are they going to do about it? Cry more? Donald Trump and MAGA were a populist mutiny at the federal level. Just as it was at the federal leve, it sounds like it is time the GOPe in Ohio be forced to face the fact that they can serve the interests of their consituants, or be replaced.