DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

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Is DSP taking Ozempic/GLP-1 to lose weight?

  • Yes

    Votes: 183 82.4%

  • No

    Votes: 39 17.6%
  • Total voters
    222
  • Poll closed .
Hamburger Detractor said:
God help us if this faggot is still streaming when he finally gets his first prostate exam. He'll never stop retelling the story, exaggerating every minor detail while clown laughing so hard he can barely get through it. Then weens would keep donating with messages asking if he told the doctor to use a spoon and EAT IT which will trigger him into telling the story again from the beginning. Maybe he'll even get brave and make gay jokes about the doctor.
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You will live to see this. When he was playing San Andreas talked about some old musician from the 80s. I want to say it was Rush but I am very confident that is wrong because it's been so long, so some of my personal bias has leaked in. He praises them for still performing in their 70s and then talks about switching to political streams in his 60s. It's not an if he has every intention.
 
BPD Gunt Rider said:
Phil said he fixed the tire himself originally. He's the guy you go to for ahnesty.
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I originally wanted to say that even if Phail knew how to change a tire it'd be a non-starter because his twig arms are too weak to loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron, then I remembered that the Big Bitch was there so he could've just made her stand on the tire iron and let gravity (and her massive girth because THE BITCH IS FAT! FAT KAT!) do the rest.
 
Big Brown Schlub said:
I originally wanted to say that even if Phail knew how to change a tire it'd be a non-starter because his twig arms are too weak to loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron, then I remembered that the Big Bitch was there so he could've just made her stand on the tire iron and let gravity (and her massive girth because THE BITCH IS FAT! FAT KAT!) do the rest.
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If the lug was seized, doing that would just result in a bent tire iron!
 
After all of his massive, public, deeply humiliating (to him, per him!) fuckups, Phil still thinks he can give advice to Wings.

Yes, this is a core element that makes him a lolcow. Also, it makes me mad on the Internet!!!
 
Well, whether he can keep up the succesful streamer façade is up to the whales propping up the show. If he loses a couple he'll go back to the black shirt begging. It's just that for now, the failed streamers propping him up would rather see him as someone succesful. Hey, if Phil made it, there's hope for all of us!

Still, this thing with Wingo and the fact that we've been phonebooking a lot of his failed streamer followers makes me think he's had a lightbulb go off. He's gonna become a streamer guru. One that's at least 15 years behind the curve, but still. Also, he wants to be the reverse Keemstar. Yeah nip it in the bud Phil, it's a stupid fucking idea, plus your delusions of grandeur would keep you from interacting with any meaningful lahlcaus. What life advice are you gonna give them? "Eat better, powerwalk, wear boomer shirts"? Pretending like we didn't start doing these things because our desired BBC won't give us the time of day, huh Phil?

Phil REALLY isn't in a spot to give Wings advice. Phil is the reverse Wings. Sure, a lot of Wings' issues were brought upon himself, but he's had to endure fuckloads worse than Phil ever has. Phil's been coddled since birth, by his mham, dad, now the dents, even Panda made an effort to take care of him. Wings has been pretty much thrown to the wolves, his family straight up screwed him over, multiple times. As another poster said, a lot of business and self help slop but no insight to duo stream Battlefield 6 BR? And Youtube has just implemented collabs.

Phil's loving this shit because he smells another do-nothing nontent avenue he can slime into. Streaming advice. He's not gonna give insight on what to stream, or technical advice on how to stream it, he's just gonna say the most obvious milquetoast non commital bullshit he can think up and then wonder why it's not working.

"Do it for the love of the game, not for money!"
"Gaming has to be your passion. And the money will come!"
"Stream what you like, don't stream what's popular!"
"You don't need to be good, most of the time stream watchers just want to chat to the streamer!"

All pretty fucking terrible advice, all in all. Worked for him, cause he got in the ground floor and was massively autistic. Dude gathered a following completely by accident. Hell, for the first few years the question was whether he was faking his stupidity.

I can already hear it. And he will ignore the fact that he's not even applying any of it to himself. Even when streaming/gaming content creation in current year is so complex and cutthroat you need to be extremely good at it to see measly returns. But of course, you can't expect much else from the guy with the level 1 Copecast.
 
This comment on a recent Snort Hogan video made me lol, they really nailed the essence of Phil.
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SauceRyuKen said:
Hell, for the first few years the question was whether he was faking his stupidity.
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It still happens, although I get that it was far more common back then. This is a large part of why Phil will never not be a lolcow. You see it everywhere when he's brought up to people who don't know much about DSP. It's either that he's "that guy who jerked it on stream" or it's people thinking that he's playing some character. Humans naturally don't want to think that someone like Phil actually exists so they try and doubt that he's the way he is. Surely he's playing it up, doing a bit, nobody can possibly be this bad. It has to be a character. He cannot be this way, nobody can genuinely think like he does. He's not real. It's impossible.

And yet he is.
 
Only one goal guys?! C'mon, it's good, yes, but we can do better guys. We hit two goals last day stream, are we losing momentum again! I'm not letting silksong go down to penultimate money maker, but I will if I have to and I will also shut down moral support! Ack ack! Snort. I'm joking guys, but not really
 
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