🍔 Quarterpounder Jeremy Hambly / The Quartering / MTGHeadquarters / Unsleeved Media / Midwestly - Buttblasted alcoholic manchild upset he was banned from a childrens' card game, Grifter, supporter of the cancel culture, cucked by a Jewish bull (Adam Sellers), pisses in basement, shits himself, FLAGGOT, stalks little girls in public, scammer, sex pest

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How long will Jer stay off Twitter?

  • <1 day.

    Votes: 428 30.3%
  • More than 1 day but less than 3 days.

    Votes: 569 40.3%
  • Around a week.

    Votes: 247 17.5%
  • Two weeks or more.

    Votes: 24 1.7%
  • Less than a month!

    Votes: 38 2.7%
  • He's gone, forever. Enjoy oranges, stalker.

    Votes: 107 7.6%

  • Total voters
    1,413
Trying not to go bald is the dumbest thing to me. Just be man. Stop talking about hair plugs or transplants. Shave that shit or wear a hat 24/7. You're a man, act like it.
Hambly isn’t just a man. He’s a 6 foot 5 autistic man whose entire early career success came from literally being the tall guy in the sales room. Normally, all our short guy cope is just seething, but trust me, if you’ve ever been the sales goblin to a 6 4+ partner, holy shit, you could sell hunger to an African child.

He’s big, he’s fat, he’s balding, the moment it all catches up to him he stops being the big quiet guy and starts being the ugly bastard. His knees start hurting. His heart starts pounding. He hits the wall. A short king, still jogging at age 50, passes him by, squeaking in manlet rage. “They’ll be no pity for you, you hear it? No pity!”
 
The fact that fat ass is going to such great lengths to lie about being build really highlights why it is so pointless even attempt to engage with people like him. If he can't even be honest about something as simple and noticeable as him going bald, he is obviously not going to be honest about anything else.
 
screaming about star wars or marvel or whatever tranny in pop culture media or videogame
I feel that's one of the few things that the Kino Casino hits the mark on. Personally, I'm tired of the culture war. I'm tired of dealing with terminally online individuals who want to infect everything I want to relax and enjoy. The only problem is, those people are going to get in my face, whether I like it or not, and try to change my hobby.

So in a weird way, we have to deal with it, and it will be dealt with; but there's some fatigue. Despite this, we're in a good position to help stomp this out once and for all I feel; luckily Ham boy will also go the way of the dinosaur once this current round of samsara-esque suffering is done.
 
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Magic card guys are rich, until they try to liquidate their cards and find out their $1K+ cards are proxies. Sad!
 
Is this guy serious? I don't follow Quartering at all so I only get the highlights, I really am struggling to figure it out at this point. Is he telling these stories to come across as more interesting and he's just so retarded that he doesn't understand how disconcerting they are to anyone who's even somewhat well-adjusted? Or is this a bit of some kind? He just spills more and more absurd stories about sharting all over a public restroom and drinking breast milk at the office?
It's been brought up here and there, but he has a really retarded understanding of "guy talk with the fellas" where he'll just autistically blurt what he thinks is locker room talk, completely oblivious to what an autist he looks like. "The Guys" talk about farts and irreverent sexual things, so I should try that. And then what comes out is this monsoon of retarded bullshit that would immediately get you goofed on if you actually said it in front of a group of men. He did the same thing when he kept making "Can't wait to fuck your daugher when she's legal!" jokes to Dankula not picking up that his buddy wasn't playing along with the bit. I'd be willing to bet money dude had very few "guy friends" in his youth, and the ones he has now are likely the wifes family members who are nice to him out of obligation.

And the breast milk thing was probably stolen from that Blizzard or whatever company that had a controversy over some employee doing it that he just thought enough time had passed where he could use it as his own. Again, too autistic to realize that it was a controversy in the first place due to how fucking bizarre it is for an adult to do such a thing.
 
Jeremy tells the story of how he drank a girl's boob milk at work
Since when did he work for Blizzard?

The whole post makes me wonder how anyone can stand being around this guy. All of his stories are vile.

Magic card guys are rich, until they try to liquidate their cards and find out their $1K+ cards are proxies. Sad!
I remember when Boogie tried to sell his cards to his local store and got offered way less than he expected. Most people who have a ton of money in collectibles don't realize how hard it is to sell that shit.
 
How did a fat retarded basement pisser become rich?
I'm pretty sure I've asked this repeatedly, but wasn't it eventually figured out the wife was the breadwinner? Jer Bear had a string of business ventures that couldn't possibly have been lucrative given how brief each one was prior to being a professional Culture Warrior, while the wife was constantly traveling presumably for work. I don't remember if the mystery was ever solved, but I had always just assumed he was more or less "stay at home dad" to dogs while she ran around making the majority of the income prior to his online big break.
 
"Coffee brand coffee" is so fucking generic for a name, too. I can imagine myself watching a TV show and that would be the coffee they use because of trademark lmao. Like when you see somebody drinking a beer on TV and it's just a white can that says "beer" in block letters.
His two biggest mistakes were that he didn't focus on regular and decaf. He went the route of 50 different custom flavors.
His second mistake was he obviously appeals to right-wing people, he should have made the coffee for them, but his dumb ass didn't commit. That probably really fucked him after the 2024 election proved we were the definitive majority.
The “generic” look was huge a long time ago in like the 80s there’d be beer and other stuff that would just say “Beer” or “Beans”, etc. with grey labels. Hamplanet was 100% trying to pander to Gen X and failed miserably.
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Magic card guys are rich, until they try to liquidate their cards and find out their $1K+ cards are proxies. Sad!
I work at a boarding school and got into MTG as a way to kill time with the students. During Covid I moved into 300 a month faculty housing and was getting hazard pay so I was flush with cash and ended up getting way too into it and spent like 15k-20k on Magic over a few years. I do actually look at my multiple decks that are over a thousand dollars as potential emergency funds. Especially when MTG is turning into Fortnite the card game and I have to run Spider Man, Avatar, and TMNT cards to have optimized decks now so I'm kind of getting sick of it
 
I'm always baffled by guys like this, for years I've wondered "why do people fuckin watch Hambly?" and I can never come up with an answer, he lacks any Charisma, he has butthole eyes, he delivers all his commentary in a bored deadpan way, he doesn't even smile or make jokes.

yet he raked in a decent cut for quite a while, doing FUCK all but regurgitate stories or news poorly.
I think the thing that gets me the most is that there is absolutely no reason he should be famous versus literally anybody else.
Maybe it's just like you said, he has no charisma, but it feels like it's more than that.

IMO every single time I see something with quarterpounder in it, it feels like I'm watching a loser who knows he's a loser, and who knows the viewer knows he's a loser.

I work at a boarding school and got into MTG as a way to kill time with the students. During Covid I moved into 300 a month faculty housing and was getting hazard pay so I was flush with cash and ended up getting way too into it and spent like 15k-20k on Magic over a few years. I do actually look at my multiple decks that are over a thousand dollars as potential emergency funds. Especially when MTG is turning into Fortnite the card game and I have to run Spider Man, Avatar, and TMNT cards to have optimized decks now so I'm kind of getting sick of it
"Mr. Anon, some of the cards you use are like... really expensive.... and you have like, several decks full of expensive cards... I thought teachers didn't make any money, so how are you affording them?"

"Well kid, there's this thing called a mortgage, people my age used to get them so we could live in houses, but.... those days are gone... so now I live in a 300sqft studio apartment and share a bunk bed with the social studies teacher. But ya know, at least I got my cards"
 
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I'm always baffled by guys like this, for years I've wondered "why do people fuckin watch Hambly?" and I can never come up with an answer, he lacks any Charisma, he has butthole eyes, he delivers all his commentary in a bored deadpan way, he doesn't even smile or make jokes.

yet he raked in a decent cut for quite a while, doing FUCK all but regurgitate stories or news poorly.
People who still post in Kotaku in Action/Gamergate related spaces have absolutely atrocious standards as long as the creator is on their side of the culture slop war.
 
I don't know if there's a thread about her or if this was discussed before but is Melonie Mac a fake/poser Christian? That woman has a lot of tattoos(I know it's acceptable by christians but some of the more radical people don't) ignores and laughs at Jeremy being anti-christian and more,
 
I think the thing that gets me the most is that there is absolutely no reason he should be famous versus literally anybody else.
Maybe it's just like you said, he has no charisma, but it feels like it's more than that.
Watching someone repeat all your opinions back to you feels good, it feels even gooderer when it comes from someone uglier and fatter than you.
 
I think the thing that gets me the most is that there is absolutely no reason he should be famous versus literally anybody else.
Do you actually think he's famous? He's "e-famous" but that doesn't mean anything other than memorable because of a controversy. Which is his origin story, le humble Magic youtuber only made videos about Magic until he got publicly banned from organized WOTC Magic tournaments for criticizing Ms. Sprankle's cosplay and inserting herself into a neckbeard hobby for money & views.

He may be the butt of jokes from people like H3 but it's only because he's a visible neckbeard doing neckbeard things. Since he was (unjustly) forced out of his cardboard dungeons, it's reasonable he became a culture warrior and collected ad revenue from Susan Wojcicki for years. The hypocrisy of being pretty wealthy compared to working stiffs vs. e-begging definitely makes him a lolcow grifter, but he's as much a right to exist in the dumb space as other retards like YellowFlash or Nerdrotic. If you're just visibly repulsed by his face and mannerisms, that we can agree on. He's the type of guy that shocks you to realize someone wanted to marry him and share the same bedroom.
 
I believe the begging is genuine. Most fatties are addicted to pop-slop and drowning in debt for the same reason they're fat - low impulse control and poor future planning. I'll bet that from various financing options and good ol' credit card misuse, over half of what he earns is eaten at by payments. If he's pulling 30k a month (before paying people) he's probably got 15k or more in misc payments. This is how you end up a retard blindsided by taxes, you simply don't have much leeway. This is how you "have so much" and yet need to beg to pay your employees. It's a wonderful house of cards, because they're walking a tightrope and one downturn and it's all over. It's not even a question of if, it's when.
 
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Bro the Casino is hitting him over the head with the hair transplant shit and i am all for it. 1 hour 23 minutes. A fucking movie worth of view time. Just pounding this fat ass into the dirt for his grift. I love it so much.
 
I don't know if there's a thread about her or if this was discussed before but is Melonie Mac a fake/poser Christian? That woman has a lot of tattoos(I know it's acceptable by christians but some of the more radical people don't) ignores and laughs at Jeremy being anti-christian and more,
I've been focusing on clipping episodes containing Melonie and Hannah, because I personally very much enjoy watching Jeremy offend, disrespect and gross them out, and looking for the signs they exhibit when they can't deny this is going on, but keep the mask up because they want their paycheck. So, I've seen a decent amount of Melonie at this point (not on her own show, mind you, just in the context of Jeremy's show).

My take on her is that she does have a genuine heart to try and be a Christian person. There are a number of things holding her back from, let's say, looking like she's honest about it, but I am willing to extend her the charity of saying she's trying her best. I'm also a hard-liner and of the belief that all Protestants (which she clearly is) are on very questionable ground regarding the validity of their claims to be 'Christian', and I still say this of her.

Yes, it is true she's a former woke cultist, she's divorced, she has tattoos, she doesn't dress modestly, etc. etc. We can spend all day finding new ways in which she doesn't live up to the Christian standard, whether that be Protestant or not, but at the end of the day, it's important to remember that none of us live up to this standard. There's not a clip of her or a video she's made that I can show you that is evidence of this, I'm just sharing my general intuition and analysis of having watched her a decent amount lately, that I believe that if her intellect was capable of being further educated on the Christian moral system, she would attempt to try to live up to it. She's just too stupid to find an understanding of that on her own, and she's not in the company of people who are capable of doing that for her, so although in reality it doesn't seem like she's making very much progress very fast, I do believe that if her circumstances were to change, she would be doing much better. This is the kind of person for which Jesus died - they are sinful, sometimes extraordinarily so, but redeemable.

If you're interested in putting a magnifying glass on fake Christianity, focus that shit entirely on Jeremy. I have seen absolutely ZERO signs that he has even asked himself the question of whether he should try to live up to any sort of moral standard, let alone try, knowing that he will fail. Melonie is significantly farther on her journey, compared to that. Frankly, the most productive thing that could happen in Melonie's Christian journey would for Jeremy's channel to fail, as that would not only remove what is probably the most anti-Christ influence in her life, but also force her to grapple with certain truths about the nature of life that she seems hesitant to get into.
 
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