Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

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>implement new feature N
>feature was specified to do one thing
>specification fixed a month ago based on feedback from clients
>put it in front of sales guy for some retard testing
>"i just tried using feature N to do !N and it didn't work the way I expected. this is clearly an error and the clients will be mad."
>tell him it's only meant to do N
>"but i want to do !N with it"
>tell him it can only do N
>"but why?"
>tell him that's how it was specified and he was there when the specification was fixed
>"but i want to do !N with it"

John Andrews Stan said:
No shit lol. I just think it’s hilarious (yet sad) when people genuinely believe a famous multimillionaire needs money from them.
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Scams like that are always pitched to filter out anyone with basic critical thinking skills, either deliberately, or because the people who come up with them are also stupid enough to fall for them.

BABANGUIDE64 said:
So... Is this the India Menace thread?
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Anything involving IT inevitably becomes about indians by proxy.
 
There are benefits to a job where your management is so incompetent and scatterbrained that they barely pay attention to what everyone is doing. Jingle some keys in front of their faces and you can get away with a lot. The downsides appear when they decide to actually pay attention to you; then it's all bad. I've had two large projects follow a similar theme this year.

> "Do the...thing!"
> Uh. Do you have any specifications or requirements for this? Have you gathered any of this?
> "Yeah of course!" *pastes link to folder of disorganized miscellaneous notes mostly taken from barely-technical "we need this done! There are gaps! Gaps!" meetings*
> Okay, so you guys have had meetings about this for three months but still barely have any idea what you want me specifically to do. Let me start writing something then.
> "No not that way! Why would you do it that way? We had a meeting yesterday (that you weren't invited to) and completely changed direction, you need to be up to speed with this."

Please, continue paying me lots of money and go...be an instrument of chaos at someone else this month.
 
Moral plague said:
Anyway I hate working with niggers too, some of them are even too stupid to open up computers and printers. I once had to open one for a nig, had him watch me do it, and then 10 minutes later I saw him trying to put it back together backwards.
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I had one black woman in her 30s with a $1500 iPhone that was scammed for money. She refused to follow through my instructions as "she didn't know anything about computers," yet was consistently demanding to fix her fuck up.

How hard is it to go on a website and click on a couple of links?
 
Moral plague said:
I hate working with Indians. I ask them for details, they lie and say they don't know, and tell me to ask another indian, who does the same shit. Bitch, one of you broke this and you all know who did it, just tell me who, when, and when you started fixing it. I'm going to start bullying these fucking contract jeets until we get a new set of contract jeets. REEEEEEEEE.
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Git blame is your friend.
 
found out the other day one of our critical servers is still running Server 2008 so that's cool i guess
 
Disdainer of the Plebs said:
Git blame is your friend.
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You're lucky if git blame can actually assign blame through the you->supervisor->indian 1..N->his supervisor->unwillingness to listen to anyone non-indian chain.

SouthernBitchBob said:
We had a meeting yesterday (that you weren't invited to) and completely changed direction, you need to be up to speed with this."
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FWD: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Urgent project
Can you get this done by EOD tomorrow thanks
 
teriyakiburns said:
Scams like that are always pitched to filter out anyone with basic critical thinking skills, either deliberately, or because the people who come up with them are also stupid enough to fall for them.
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Nah, it’s intentional. You make the first part of the scam deliberately bad to filter away anyone clever enough to see through the second part of the scam. It’s better three people including one potential mark hang up immediately when ”McAfee” asks to remote control their computer in an obvious Indian accent, than to spend an hour on one person only to have them hang up when ”McAfee” asks them to go buy iTunes gift cards.
 
>Employee nearing retirement
>Hands in work laptop + accessories
>Keyboard is crusted over with food bits and god knows what else

how delightful, what a way to end the day. I need a drink.
 
Gleam said:
>Employee nearing retirement
>Hands in work laptop + accessories
>Keyboard is crusted over with food bits and god knows what else

how delightful, what a way to end the day. I need a drink.
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can you disassemble the laptop enough to remove the keyboard and wash it in the sink?
 
sodaboard said:
found out the other day one of our critical servers is still running Server 2008 so that's cool i guess
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That's nothing, at a previous employer in the last 5 years, I found out there was a 2003 server running important stuff. Somehow, it was also responsible for Internet, so I was forbidden from touching it in any fashion, because the previous IT director took down the site one time. boomer shit.
 
Our team was recruiting a DBA and one of the applicants stated on his CV that he was “One of the Top Ten DBAs in Europe.” We all had a laugh about wanting good stadium seats for the next European DBA championships.
 
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Isopropanol soak. Fill a tub/tray with enough alcohol to submerge the computer, then drop it in there and wiggle it around to make sure it soaks. After a minute the food stains and other grub should come off very easily with a normal dishbrush. Just make sure you use 100% isopropanol. It's not conductive, so it's quite safe to do this.
 
Raise your hand if you've ever had an "engineering" meeting, created originally with a description similar to, "engineers sharing cool stuff they found and/or are working on", get eaten by the Blob. Hello fellow engineers, it's time for our weekly team cohesion and fun meeting! Manny the Manager here will be joining us today! And next week, and the week after. He's going to use it as the upper level management announcements power hour, or order you to present something on your project with slides. By engineers for engineers!
 
Just in the last week
  • One subnet for everything. Clients, servers, printers, weird IoT devices. You name it, it's all in the same subnet. Literally using big boy Cisco switches, and yet the network is being run like a normalfag home network.
  • Active Directory nesting to the extreme. Not only do they do amateur hour bullshit like creating department-specific OUs, they created an OU for each position within a department. The Finance director literally has his own special OU just for him!
  • Random bullshit applications running on domain controllers that nobody knows about
  • Using OneNote as an IPAM
  • Client has no clue whether M365 content is being backed up, just trusting an MSP and has never tested recovering anything
  • Literally no naming scheme whatsoever for servers
Worst part is they're unbelievably deluded and think they have NSA-tier security and push back on any suggestion saying it'll make things too hard. Going to be a long road ahead dealing with all this.
 
We move data from airgapped server to a "secure location" network drive everyone can access if they would bother looking through directories It's all extremely secure because the drives we use for moving data are locked in a safe bolted down and with thick walls.
 
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in this thread, but in one role I was in, the company got hit with Adobe licensing audit.

Talk about a nightmare.
 
Samuel Fuller said:
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it in this thread, but in one role I was in, the company got hit with Adobe licensing audit.

Talk about a nightmare.
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How does that even work? What, do they check to see if the accounts linked to the license are legit? Or we talking "make sure every copy of Adobe isn't a pirated one" kind of check?
 
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