Science Nutmaxxers: The Men on a Quest for More Aesthetic Sex

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Nutmaxxers: The Men on a Quest for More Aesthetic Sex​

Every so often, I use the precious internet real estate I’m allotted here on VICE to tell you to go read something from a different website. This is one of those times.

Go read Charlie Sosnick’s article in GQ about men who have made doing big cumstheir life’s work. It’s titled “Meet the Nutmaxxers Obsessed With Shooting Bigger Loads.” It will be at least one of the highlights of your day, depending on how adventurous a life you live.

Sosnick dove into the thick of viscous pools of a subreddit called r/CumBiggerLoads, a place filled with jizz mad scientists who are constantly testing out new and exciting combinations of supplements that can hopefully get them firing the most oversized, most monstrous loads of cum possible. Why? Mostly just cuz.

One guy interviewed says he felt the pressure to cum bigger and more after his girlfriend told him she liked being cum’ed upon, and had a voracious sexual appetite, meaning he had to up his loads just to keep up with her.

That dubious justification is the most rock-solid provided by anyone interviewed for the piece. Other influencing factors include that the unreality established by porn has some men thinking that fire-hosing cum is a baseline sexual performance metric that, if they aren’t meeting, then they aren’t quite masculine enough.

They’re all wrapped up in the aesthetics of sex and seemingly less concerned about whether or not a partner even wants to be slimed like presenters at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.

THOUSANDS OF NUTMAXXERS ARE ON A QUEST FOR MORE AESTHETIC SEX​

The article also mentions a lack of scientific consensus on what constitutes a normal amount of semen volume. Some guys assume they aren’t coming as much as they should, while others have partners who are reportedly disappointed in the amount of semen they’re producing, so they feel an urge to max their cum output.

There’s a market for every microscopic niche of self-obsession. So, of course, there is a growing array of products and supplements available to men that promise to have them really turning out just oodles of cum.

While clinical trials backed by actual real science say that there is no objective evidence to support the idea that anything could increase semen volume, plenty of r/CumBiggerLoads most devout cummers swear that supplements like zinc and selenium, along with a handful of others, are part of a well-balanced cum-rocketing diet.

I haven’t even scratched the surface on the joys this article brought me, a person who thinks these deep dives into the absurdities of masculine subcultures are the peak of human achievement.

I didn’t even get to tell you about the “tummy pancake,” which I won’t. I have to leave a little bit of mystery, though I’m sure you can figure it out and are already gagging—either from disgust or delight.
 
I still have no idea what is even the "aesthetic" they're looking for when it comes to their seminal production. I was thinking they were adding more autumn motifs because hurr-hurr nuts, and that would mean squirrels and great oaks.

Then again, I just don't understand this obsession with aesthetics...
I assume something like this

CmFaB7AWKjFjDs00GyTApPGSq6zh-Nf4T7PAnzGI3qM.jpg
 
Wrong. Male orgasm is intensified and increased in duration by larger ejaculations- orgasm is the mechanism under which it occurs.
Who wouldn't want longer, more intense orgasms?

In the kink community there is a device called a 'parachute'. Think of it like the surgical collar used to stop a pet licking stitches, except weighted, and the testicles are the pet's head. These prevent (or reduce) the testicles' ability to contract upwards in orgasm, a critical physiological mechanism in ejaculation, and orgasm is therefore prolonged and intensified.

I used to have a girlfriend who would gently pull my balls down as I finished, any time she could reach them. It was... rewarding.

Increasing seminal volume does the same thing. It requires a longer orgasm to, um, 'clear the chamber', and is a noble and worthy goal towards which to strive for all red blooded men. Plus, many women instinctively judge virility on seminal quantity- a man that hoses like a horse will almost always be seen as more manly than a man that pushes out a teaspoon full in two meager squirts.

I now expect my full complement of almost every sticker there is.


You should see the market for useless crap , horrible surgeries, ugly clothes and expensive makeup that caters to female self-obsession, Luis Prada. I'd guess that four out of every five dollars spent globally on worthless ego supplements is spent by women (source: married for 12 years and almost every fucking day another parcel of Chinese garbage or the lastest potion of youth gets hurled at my front door by a pissed-off nigger in an Amazon shirt).
My nigga, that sounds like a great way to get testicular torsion, "in my quest for a bigger nut I accidentally detached one"
 
Pineapple juice is supposedly for flavor. Zinc is part of the "stack" but a common one is 6 pills each day:
View attachment 8058441
This is apparently the brainchild of Kyle and Taylor of the PKA podcast.
>5 to 10 times more than DV on several vitamins and trace elements
this seems concerning
some vitamins are toxic in overdose. idk about these ones in particular but i wouldn't take this without first doing extensive research on each of them

the description is hilarious though:
load.png
>bolstered projectile range
:story:
 
What kind of pervert cares that much about their jizz after it's left their bodies? This is the gayest heterosexual behavior I've ever heard of.

Just bust in her and roll over and go to sleep you weirdos.
>5 to 10 times more than DV on several vitamins and trace elements
this seems concerning
some vitamins are toxic in overdose. idk about these ones in particular but i wouldn't take this without first doing extensive research on each of them
You can totally poison yourself, but still, DVs are extremely underestimated.

Do your homework but still, 5x or 10x inaccuracies aren't remotely unheard of.
 
>5 to 10 times more than DV on several vitamins and trace elements
this seems concerning
some vitamins are toxic in overdose. idk about these ones in particular but i wouldn't take this without first doing extensive research on each of them
I guess I should mention, they emphasize on the plugs on the podcast to stay hydrated. Reading between the lines that tells me that's going to be taxing on the kidneys.
 
In the kink community there is a device called a 'parachute'. Think of it like the surgical collar used to stop a pet licking stitches, except weighted, and the testicles are the pet's head. These prevent (or reduce) the testicles' ability to contract upwards in orgasm, a critical physiological mechanism in ejaculation, and orgasm is therefore prolonged and intensified.
So it's a Balldo?
 
I remember seeing the "ultra nut smoothie" or whatever floating around from 4chan that was a bunch of vitamins and supplements to nut more, but I always thought it was kind of a meme more than something anyone actually cared about.

Wrong. Male orgasm is intensified and increased in duration by larger ejaculations- orgasm is the mechanism under which it occurs.
Who wouldn't want longer, more intense orgasms?

In the kink community there is a device called a 'parachute'. Think of it like the surgical collar used to stop a pet licking stitches, except weighted, and the testicles are the pet's head. These prevent (or reduce) the testicles' ability to contract upwards in orgasm, a critical physiological mechanism in ejaculation, and orgasm is therefore prolonged and intensified.

I used to have a girlfriend who would gently pull my balls down as I finished, any time she could reach them. It was... rewarding.

Increasing seminal volume does the same thing. It requires a longer orgasm to, um, 'clear the chamber', and is a noble and worthy goal towards which to strive for all red blooded men. Plus, many women instinctively judge virility on seminal quantity- a man that hoses like a horse will almost always be seen as more manly than a man that pushes out a teaspoon full in two meager squirts.

I now expect my full complement of almost every sticker there is.


You should see the market for useless crap , horrible surgeries, ugly clothes and expensive makeup that caters to female self-obsession, Luis Prada. I'd guess that four out of every five dollars spent globally on worthless ego supplements is spent by women (source: married for 12 years and almost every fucking day another parcel of Chinese garbage or the lastest potion of youth gets hurled at my front door by a pissed-off nigger in an Amazon shirt).

You are truly a dickpilled nutmaxxer.
 
Hope she never sneezed and jerked her hand down
No, thank god. Although who knows, had she done so I may have experienced a world of pleasure heretofore unexplored by mortal man.
My nigga, that sounds like a great way to get testicular torsion, "in my quest for a bigger nut I accidentally detached one"
I guess it depends on whether the weights used are the traditional tiny leather two-ounce sandbags or a Chevy small block.
You are truly a dickpilled nutmaxxer.
Those days are over for me. I’m married now and she gets what she gets, I don’t need to blast a Chobani tub’s worth so she leaks like the Titanic between the bed and the bathroom.
 
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