Shitty Etsy Products

[Autistic-No-Yari]

I wish this listing was still up, but it was basically a full on high quality picture of Chrom from Fire Emblem Awakening with all props, listed for a literal 5000 dollars, with fine print "Nothing included, sword, Fire Emblem, but costume"

God, why didn't I cap it? But yeah, beyond just shitty quality products, you always gotta read the fine print.

 

[Reynard]

Ceck out this item! I can only imagine how bad it would be if that thing broke during use.

Spoiler: Glass in you Snatch

Honestly, this is similar to a fucking bachelorette party with how dick-centric it is.

Not etsy, but close enough. Feels like it belongs here. There's lots of awful crafts to be had on Facebook buy/sell/trade pages. Found these delightful hats today.

I'm really not sure this woman knows what steampunk is...
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Spoiler: The Hat

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Also, for just $50 you can have your very own raccoon bones hat.
Now who wouldn't want that?
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Spoiler: Dem Bones

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Edit: looks like she's been busy.
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Also, a bag.
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Spoiler: Bag

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She could probably scuff it up and sell it as post-apocalyptic, but that's not steampunk.

 

[ScrewTheRules]

Ceck out this item! I can only imagine how bad it would be if that thing broke during use.

Spoiler: Glass in you Snatch

Eh, glass is actually one of the most common materials for dildos, and any adult store worth visiting should stock glass. Its hygenic, easy to clean and DOESN'T break easily. This one isn't even a weird shape, especially not compared to what mainstream manufacturers put out. Try and find me one shaped like a tentacle or something, or one that is obviously low quality or seriously overpriced.

 

[Reynard]

Eh, glass is actually one of the most common materials for dildos, and any adult store worth visiting should stock glass. Its hygenic, easy to clean and DOESN'T break easily. This one isn't even a weird shape, especially not compared to what mainstream manufacturers put out. Try and find me one shaped like a tentacle or something, or one that is obviously low quality or seriously overpriced.

This shows how little I know about dildos. Well, at least I know now.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Spoiler: Butt sex, now with more autism

Listing link

 

[Smarmy]

Spoiler: Butt sex, now with more autism

Listing link

I like this shop owner's sense of humor. Who wouldn't want a Googley Eye Butt Plug?

 

[Jaded Optimist]

I like this shop owner's sense of humor. Who wouldn't want a Googley Eye Butt Plug?

I agree when the name includes "wtf i dont know anymore" im more amused and intrigued.

 

[neverendingmidi]

I like this shop owner's sense of humor. Who wouldn't want a Googley Eye Butt Plug?

That store seems to have the idea of making every possible object a butt plug. Scrolling down I've seen a compass, a Pennywise the clown, a basketball hoop (with balls!), a magic 8 ball, and- of course- Nicolas Cage.

I really don't think I want to meet this person irl in a dark alley.

 

[Smarmy]

That store seems to have the idea of making every possible object a butt plug. Scrolling down I've seen a compass, a Pennywise the clown, a basketball hoop (with balls!), a magic 8 ball, and- of course- Nicolas Cage.

I really don't think I want to meet this person irl in a dark alley.

She also made a Kylo Ren lightsaber butt plug that doubles as a toothbrush. Pretty useful, tbh.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

They definitely have a lot of interesting wares. A+ for creativity. Many meme ones as expected, including Harambe, Bernie Sanders, and the obligatory Nic Cage ones. Their catalog not only includes butt plugs but also nunchucks and strap-ons.

Spoiler: Anyone else up for clucks and fucks?

 

[Yaks]

Found this gem from the Slaton thread and had to share

Their shop looks like they just picked random things out of the bargain pin at a thrift store and just smushed stuff together.

 

[The Great Citracett]

I've found a crazy woman who makes and sells "Squabble Plaques" which are Scrabble pieces glued to boards to form way-too-long quotes, complete with odd formatting and no punctuation.

There's a bunch. Not sure why anyone would want to hang these in their home. They're not particularly good looking, and they aren't really inspirational either.

Spoiler: "Squabble Plaques"

 

[Dysnomia]

Found this gem from the Slaton thread and had to share

Their shop looks like they just picked random things out of the bargain pin at a thrift store and just smushed stuff together.

The whole shop is hilarious. Look at this gem:

Spoiler: Alice In Wonderland Inspired Mouse Ears

I don't get what is Alice in Wonderland about it. It just looks like a big random mess.

 

[The Great Citracett]

The whole shop is hilarious. Look at this gem:

Spoiler: Alice In Wonderland Inspired Mouse Ears

I don't get what is Alice in Wonderland about it. It just looks like a big random mess.

I think it's supposed to be a reference to Alice painting the white roses red, but I really had to look at it to get it. The white things being roses, and maybe the black thing is supposed to be a bow in the middle?

And Alice reference or not, nobody's going to strap shower loofahs to their head.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

The whole shop is hilarious. Look at this gem:

Spoiler: Alice In Wonderland Inspired Mouse Ears

I don't get what is Alice in Wonderland about it. It just looks like a big random mess.

I think it's supposed to be a reference to painting the roses red? It looks like she attached two loofahs to a headband (or netting, but all I can see are loofahs)

 

[The Great Citracett]

I guess the one loofah might work fine, but the one with the paintbrush stuck to it would probably flop over the second you put it on. Paintbrushes are pretty heavy to just glue to a loofah.

"We're going to chop off her head!
For painting the loofahs red!"

 

[Paige Matheson]

I've found a crazy woman who makes and sells "Squabble Plaques" which are Scrabble pieces glued to boards to form way-too-long quotes, complete with odd formatting and no punctuation.
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There's a bunch. Not sure why anyone would want to hang these in their home. They're not particularly good looking, and they aren't really inspirational either.

Spoiler: "Squabble Plaques"

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These remind me of those stupid, trying to come off as inspirational quotes you see people post on Facebook.

 

[The Great Citracett]

These remind me of those stupid, trying to come off as inspirational quotes you see people post on Facebook.

Yeah, and unfortunately for her, everybody around here's inspiration comes in the form of those plastic wall stickers you can buy at walmart. If she had a machine to make those she'd make a fortune.

I'm sure etsy has horrid wall stickers too.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I'm sure etsy has horrid wall stickers too.

Your wish is my command.

Most of the results for "wall decals" I saw in a quick browse were mostly the sort you can get from Walmart, though. If not inspirational quotes, then mostly Disney or stick on polka dots. Nothing special.

 

[cuddle striker]

Your wish is my command.

Most of the results for "wall decals" I saw in a quick browse were mostly the sort you can get from Walmart, though. If not inspirational quotes, then mostly Disney or stick on polka dots. Nothing special.

because they're mass produced. not ever as good as the handmade loofah hats