- Joined
- Feb 10, 2019
wow dood so manly | Archive
With a side of r/thathappened.
Here's the thing: She's 30, and of course she's an e-beggar 
With a side of r/thathappened.
So, imagine you're me, out on a walk at the park with a friend and my wife. I say, hey, I gotta go pee. I enter the men's and find that there is only one stall, and a guy is in there making it his personal throne. There are no sounds of, yk, using the bathroom or anything. Five minutes pass. Cis men effortlessly enter and use the urinal and leave. Ten minutes. I feel bad making my wife and friend wait. Fifteen minutes, not only am I bored, but my bladder starts yelling. Twenty minutes - piss is imminent. I had meta and have yet to be able to pee standing up - part of is it my muscles refuse to understand I can do this, and the other part is my d is small and often can get pinched and piss everywhere. But, I think I'll give it a try, and I'm not in front of the urinal five seconds before a dad and his son come along and the kid is just staring at me. Welp, sure as hell can't piss now. To embarassed to call throne man out. Have to pee NOW.
In desperation, I peek inside the women's room. Four entire stalls, entire bathroom completely empty. Score. I think, if I can beeline for the stall before anyone sees me and leave when no one is there and return to the men's to wash my hands, all will be well! Wrong.
I've barely emptied my bladder before a woman comes in and somehow, idk, is looking under the stalls? I guess they're higher than I thought. She declares "there's a man in here!" and starts guarding the door, letting unsuspecting women know a man is in their bathroom. Someone comes in and says "oh yep wow thats definitely a man!" I'm right there - they could just ask me why I'm there, right? Hell, maybe I didn't see the sign on the door right and made a mistake. This is Illinois, so I don't have any defense that I'm legally required to use it, either.
I furiously text my wife to come save me, and she has already walked across the park with our friend. She comes back and stands in front of my stall, but I'm freaking out. This lady apparently takes out her phone and starts trying to film over the top of the stall while my pants are around my ankles in order to "gotcha" me, I guess. Again, at no point does she address me in any way. My wife, bless her, was like excuse me wtf are you doing? Yeah this is my husband, he had an emergency? What's your problem?
And the lady says ohh, oh, I'm so sorry. You see, I have experience in these things, and I was just trying to take care of it.
My wife says she regrets not going off on her more, but the lady leaves and I sneak out when the other stalls are full.
My friend and my wife both tell me I did absolutely nothing wrong, that even a cis man could've found himself in this situation. But I feel horrible. Not only do I feel guilty for causing women to feel uncomfortable and, as a man, encroaching on what I guess is a safe space, I feel horrible for having a dick that isn't able to just use a urinal easily. I feel ashamed and disgusting. I feel like a complete idiot, too, who never should have done what I did. I also have that feeling again that, as a man, I'm always considered dangerous and predatory until proven otherwise, usually with a woman to back me up. All of it makes me feel like a monster.
This was Saturday and I haven't been able to shake it. Any ideas how to shake this feeling?
In desperation, I peek inside the women's room. Four entire stalls, entire bathroom completely empty. Score. I think, if I can beeline for the stall before anyone sees me and leave when no one is there and return to the men's to wash my hands, all will be well! Wrong.
I've barely emptied my bladder before a woman comes in and somehow, idk, is looking under the stalls? I guess they're higher than I thought. She declares "there's a man in here!" and starts guarding the door, letting unsuspecting women know a man is in their bathroom. Someone comes in and says "oh yep wow thats definitely a man!" I'm right there - they could just ask me why I'm there, right? Hell, maybe I didn't see the sign on the door right and made a mistake. This is Illinois, so I don't have any defense that I'm legally required to use it, either.
I furiously text my wife to come save me, and she has already walked across the park with our friend. She comes back and stands in front of my stall, but I'm freaking out. This lady apparently takes out her phone and starts trying to film over the top of the stall while my pants are around my ankles in order to "gotcha" me, I guess. Again, at no point does she address me in any way. My wife, bless her, was like excuse me wtf are you doing? Yeah this is my husband, he had an emergency? What's your problem?
And the lady says ohh, oh, I'm so sorry. You see, I have experience in these things, and I was just trying to take care of it.
My wife says she regrets not going off on her more, but the lady leaves and I sneak out when the other stalls are full.
My friend and my wife both tell me I did absolutely nothing wrong, that even a cis man could've found himself in this situation. But I feel horrible. Not only do I feel guilty for causing women to feel uncomfortable and, as a man, encroaching on what I guess is a safe space, I feel horrible for having a dick that isn't able to just use a urinal easily. I feel ashamed and disgusting. I feel like a complete idiot, too, who never should have done what I did. I also have that feeling again that, as a man, I'm always considered dangerous and predatory until proven otherwise, usually with a woman to back me up. All of it makes me feel like a monster.
This was Saturday and I haven't been able to shake it. Any ideas how to shake this feeling?
Oh, sorry, a gay little cowboy.
