📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

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cybertoaster said:
If short girls are as lazy as the lazy-ass short pooners in this thread that's why they are not taken seriously in the workplace.
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That, and the fact that in any real workplace, men have to constantly drop fucking everything to help them do shit that they physically can't do, like grabbing shit off shelves that we can reach no problem or lifting stuff that the job description said they shouldn't bother applying if they can't lift.

I don't give a shit what HR Karens say, 4'10" 100lb women have no place in a physical labor environment, and synthetic hormones are never going to change that.
 
I know someone who isn't a pooner, but she's deep in fujoshi la-la land. It's telling that even the road to troonery is blatantly maladaptive. You know a girl who spends an inordinate amount of time gushing about her gayboy shipping fantasies as she heads into her thirties has something up with her. The discord-groomed crowd has a similar smell about them. You can just tell that something is *off* about them and it's getting worse.
 
Candidate No 7 said:
Legaltweetz has flipped again, or whatever.

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It's now several days after leagtweetz promised to expose the evil terf underworld, tomorrow after she decompresses from.. Uh being on vacation.

That's gonna be one hell of a multi day hangover. She'll be cowering from her switched off phone I reckon.
She is so chronically manic she might be one of the rarer pooners who succeeds in that most masculine of fields, successful suicide out of shame.

She ahs, for whatever reaosn, an enormous ego, and is constantly trying to battle for it, seemingly unaware that noone takes her seriously, as a matter of course. She mistakes her embarrassment as temporary rather than chronic, empirical.
Whatever sparked this spook out.. She's now gotten rid of any avenue for backout.
She'll probably consider death the only genuine option, and not much bigger stakes than deleting twitter.
 
Kerry Benton said:
Good news farmers… t-boy wrestling is BACK, and this time, trannies are going to be wrestling too!

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Local archive as below



Injection said:
Seeing a person with a Metalocalypse profile picture not be a pooner feels unnatural… i swear, everyone with a Metalocalypse is a woman/pooner for some reason
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A good rule of thumb for determining whether someone with a Metalocalypse PFP is a woman/pooner is to consider the character(s) they're using and the context of that avatar.

By far, the most popular Metalocalypse character for women to use in their PFPs is Toki Wartooth. Obviously, to be expected; he's not a bumblebee, after all. Other close contenders: Nathan and Pickles, especially toward the end of Season 4 and before Doomstar Requiem, where Nathan and Pickles took on the role of "most responsible" Dethklok members. Autistic fan theory breakdown as below.
  • Nathan is the straight man to the band's antics in later seasons (mostly Toki and Murderface). He's got a great relationship with his dad, and he's also emotionally constipated; a seme contained within an Adult Swim show.
  • Pickles is an unrepentant drug user who has a terrible relationship with his father (i.e. "Get out of here, you belong in a garbage can.").
    • He and Toki both bond over their mutual daddy issues, and kick Murderface's ass in that episode where Skiwsgaar looks for his father. Despite this, he's also the most "grounded" member of Dethklok.
    • In the pilot episode, Pickles was quick to say, "It's called a grocery store, you douchebags!" when Skwisgaar and Toki were calling the grocery store a "food library."
    • Nathan and Pickles got shipped together hardcore by female Metalocalypse fans, with Pickles being the uke to Nathan's seme.
  • Skwisgaar is contentious.
    • He is the band's sex symbol, and I've definitely seen slash art of him and Toki in the past when I was an unsupervised minor on the internet.
    • However, the general perception of Skwisgaar has soured over the years. Some chicks will still gravitate toward Skiwsgaar, but nowhere near as many as in the past.
    • He's jealous of Toki, unjustly criticising his guitar skills, and let's not forget the dude's a G-MILF chaser with a ton of mommy issues.
  • No one likes Murderface. At all. There are no William Murderface fans in existence, and if there are, it's because they made like bass guitars and went inaudible.
  • No one loves Dr. Rockso; people love to hate him. He's a drug-addled diddler who abuses Toki's good nature, and let's not forget the infamous Dory McLean episode.
  • Sometimes you see Charles Offdensen used as a PFP by chicks/pooners, but strictly in the context of "hey, that's my bread and butter you're fucking with," where he's the band's overprotective surrogate father.
  • I've never once seen a chick with a Tribunal PFP. No Salacia, no Crozier, no Vater Orlaag, no Cardinal Ravenwood, not even so much as a Senator Stampingston.
 
Injection said:
Seeing a person with a Metalocalypse profile picture not be a pooner feels unnatural… i swear, everyone with a Metalocalypse is a woman/pooner for some reason
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The show is tailor made for autistic girls with ready made, safe edgy, and easily distinguishable husbandos. Further, it ran its course ages ago. The normal fans of the show have moved on and found new things to enjoy. It's normal for any particular fandom to be represented by holdouts the older they get.

All that said, I can't say I've seen too many women/pooners talking about metalocalypse. Do you have some examples offhand?
 
Kerry Benton said:
Good news farmers… t-boy wrestling is BACK, and this time, trannies are going to be wrestling too!

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I looked into indie wrestling at complete random the other day and it was like 1 troon per 8. You'd have buzzcut John Killa next to Roze Roiguzzi with the superior jawline. There's something hilarious about choosing THE most physical male sport of all fucking things. I remember the Olympics having blonde girls with pink rifles shooting, but hell no, we must dress up in sparkled clothing and toss each other around - like women!
Hamplanet Fitness said:
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"Can". Troonism is a cult built on forcing a mindset onto other people, except rather than leading to gassing jews, it's about ~love~ but the kind that is forced.

Like the love uncle Jerry forced on Mike that made him into Michelle 12 years later.
 
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Dread First said:
  • Nathan and Pickles got shipped together hardcore by female Metalocalypse fans, with Pickles being the uke to Nathan's seme.
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In the uncensored Rehabklok he didn't have a visible penis so now Pickles is eternally the first one headcanoned as a pooner. (h/t @glass_houses) Also probably because of the dynamic where Seth is the family's golden child.
 
This is absolute nonsense. Troonery requires other people to particpate in the delusion. It stops being a bodily autonomy issue the moent you impose duites and obligations on other people.

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Shots are coming from inside the house: pooners are now saying yaoi Mpreg is transphobic.
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"Men can get pregnant and it's a normal thing"
No it isn't, you chink bitch. Only females get pregnant. What sex are trans men?
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Gee I wonder why they'd think that.

For some reason, they think "gay trans men" were driven off Twitter. Very masc to run away crying.
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"Cishet women are the good cops of patriarchy"
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"Fetishization of us is transphobia 101" My dood, YOU ARE THE FUJOS
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"It must be terf"
"The Mpreg is better with trans men" - yeah because you're female.
"Mpreg is trans" and which sex gets pregnant?
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"Mpreg tends to be transphobic?"
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"Mpreg is trans" - and which sex gets pregnant?
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More shots coming from inside the house. The people writing about trans men...are other trans men. They'll straight up admit it.
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Someone mentions Metal Gear. Raiden and Ocelot are commonly pooned out.
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Someone brings up Arcane. Having read many of those fics, I can tell you that the "trans man" is always the tradwife, the bottom and someone reduced to their reproductive organs. Again, pooners are the ones writing it. They call you a transmed if you point this out.
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"A very feminine trans guy" - a woman.
"I WON'T READ IT IF THE AUTHOR ISN'T TRANS" - MOST OF THE AUTHORS ARE TRANS, RETARD
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That's quite a candid confession.
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The original tweet:
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"Couldn't trust himself to make him into a glorified fleshlight" and it's the one with female genitalia considered a fleshlight 🤔

Casually admitting heterosexual sex is best:
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Noted pedophile VeeForVindicta shows up, offering to write a fic for it:
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Just in case you want to feel pity:
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I can see why they're considered transmed. The fuck you mean a vagina is compatible for a penis? That's TERF talk.
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Because they know what a man is when he is sexually attractive to them, and they would never let the muscular male be cucked like that. Artists have admitted they only do it to the smaller man as part of a humiliation kink.

And what happens when other ftms notice these trends? This:

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Friendly fire.
 
Not Dr. Evil said:
This is absolute nonsense. Troonery requires other people to particpate in the delusion. It stops being a bodily autonomy issue the moent you impose duites and obligations on other people.

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Exactly. Also they expect everyone else to pay for their cosmetics surgeries and cross-sex hormones, and for the many complications and medical issues that comes from this transition. No. If you insist on ruining your body and health, pay for it yourself.

If you claim the reason government/insurance companies should pay for it is that it alleviate gender dysphoria then this is not "body autonomy" issue, this is mental health issue. Now show me compelling evidences that this is the best treatment for gender dysphoria, and also give me a reason as to why this should be prioritized over mefical treatments for strictly medical issues. The often ping-pong between the two, choosing the one that fits them at the moment. Is this a body autonomy issue or a mefical treatment for mental health issue? Decide which one. It can't be both.
 
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