💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
McMitch said:
Generally, avid readers develop a cycle of loved books they revisit
Click to expand...
Jacques Derrida once said that the mark of a truly great text was its returnability, i.e. how often do you go back to it. Not just coming back to the same experience, but coming back and picking up new things time and time again. That book we reread every so often, that movie we've seen a dozen times. The only thing in Pat's life with returnability is Chubby's Cheesesteaks.
 
What is with Rick's head anyway? How is a head shaped like that? What kind of skull does it take to have a fat face like that? Even his SKULL is fat as all hell.
 
RollingRock2 said:
He never read the books. He writes Gollum's name as Golem because that's what he heard in the movies. Professional author by the way.
View attachment 7879413
Click to expand...
Imagine being so mentally ill that you think this is funny.

Spelling not one, but two of the characters wrong.

He is fake nerd.
He is a fake tough guy.
He is a fake conservative.
He is a fake comedian.

He is a fake everything he presents himself as.

In reality, he is a fat fake with no discernable talents except amusing sick fucks like us by complete accident.
 
You will never be a real tough guy. You have no muscles, you have no fight, you have no skill. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your flabby appearance behind closed doors.

Real tough guys are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even Internet tough guys who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a real tough guy. Your bone structure and morbid obesity is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a real tough guy home with you, he’ll beat the shit out of you the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected gunt.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your weight, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a fat weak man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably fat.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
 
1757255399314.webp
God in heaven, PLEASE make it so Rick actually trots down to Chicago once Drumpf invades it. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know he'll most likely just oink out from the safety of the hovel, but it would just be so funny if he followed through with this for once.
 
S.C.U.D. said:
Jacques Derrida once said that the mark of a truly great text was its returnability, i.e. how often do you go back to it. Not just coming back to the same experience, but coming back and picking up new things time and time again. That book we reread every so often, that movie we've seen a dozen times. The only thing in Pat's life with returnability is Chubby's Cheesesteaks.
Click to expand...
Wrong in every delusional detail as always, child. There is one piece of Tomlinsonian media that has returnability - the final Josiah Tape. Fatrick's FFWBT rage and the lamest comebacks known to man never fail to make me laugh, and I return to relisten to it at least once a year just like I do with my other favorite pieces of media, like the Sopranos, Goodfellas, Texhnolyze, a game in the Yakuza series, a campaign in a Total War game etc.

Some of my favorite lines include (but aren't limited to):
"Your problem, child, is that we already figured that out", "You figured out that you are a fat faggot with bitch tits?"
"YouR ProBleM, chilD, is ThaT you aRe noT lisTeninG To whaT I am saYing!"
"NoooOOOooo, child, I haven't! NoooOOOooo, child I haven't! NoooOOOooo, child I haven't"
"Shuuuush, child. You; have nothing; to say; and you; never had; anything intelligent; to say."
"SHUT. YOUR. FUCKING. MOWLTH, CHILD!"
 
Something Awful said:
Yes, it's pretty weird to suddenly bring it up like that. Almost feels like the lead-in to a villain's "That's right, I did it!" speech.
Click to expand...
Well, it's Pat we're talking about, isn't it? If he really HAS done it, keeping it quiet must be a struggle worthy of Fatlas. Imagine having to endure people calling you fat, impotent and unthreatening all day, knowing that you are in fact a legitimate, cold-blooded murdered but being unable to boast about it the way you'd like.

(I don't think he neccessarily did do it, but I'll also say that I would hate to be in a position where I have to fall upon Patrick Tomlinson's tender mercies for anything. The ability to murder somebody else out of spite is probably depressingly common - most people are simply never in a position to get away with it.)
 
IsaacShraeder said:
View attachment 7881071
God in heaven, PLEASE make it so Rick actually trots down to Chicago once Drumpf invades it. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know he'll most likely just oink out from the safety of the hovel, but it would just be so funny if he followed through with this for once.
Click to expand...
The year 2027 has arrived.
A herd of fuckin' ugly MAGA childs.
are rushing from the
red states.

Deportation rate skyrockeded!
Chicago is ruined!
Therefore, The Chicago
government called Jake Raven's
relative "Fatrick"
for the massacre of the MAGA childs.

Fatrick is a killer machine.
Wipe out all 100 million of
the MAGA nazi childs!

However, in white house
there was a project
in progress! A project to
transform the deceased Leslie
Varney into an ultimate
weapon!
 
Something Awful said:
View attachment 7869449

Patrick has been fighting head lice for seven years... and losing. He gives them a stern talking-to every day, though.

***

In other news, the pests have found a new "special boy", an Internet tough guy named Joseph Malik, whom they aptly describe as "blending Pat, Jackie, and Shane Nokes into a single person".

View attachment 7869514

This guy seems to be an absolute giga-faggot, akin to Rick before he was buck-broken. He's not really part of the Rick Show yet, but I hope he joins the cast soon. Lots of potential. (He's a member of the SFWA, and he and Rick follow each other on Bluesky, so it's not totally unrelated)

View attachment 7869512
View attachment 7869513

View attachment 7869518
View attachment 7869517
Click to expand...
Is there a KF thread for this guy?
 
Judge Holden said:
Figures this rotund fruitbowl would be a PizzaCakeComic fan. Probably saw the name of the series and his jowls started tingling and drooling like Nikkki's snatch during a home invasion
View attachment 7881255
Click to expand...
Fat sociopath doesn't understand the difference between sympathy and empathy, colour me surprised.

Empathy can absolutely be detrimental, you utter mongoloid. If you are suffering, sympathy others feel towards you will make them want to help you. On the other hand, if they felt excessive empathy towards you, they'd simply be crying on the floor by your side and just as helpless as yourself, Mr. Author.

The absolute damage 2 bad pussies in 45 years and a "D" in English can do to a motherfucker, holy shit.
 
IsaacShraeder said:
View attachment 7881071
God in heaven, PLEASE make it so Rick actually trots down to Chicago once Drumpf invades it. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know he'll most likely just oink out from the safety of the hovel, but it would just be so funny if he followed through with this for once.
Click to expand...
“The Midwest isn’t your stage, Donald trump. It’s mine.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom