💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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(Un-locks gun safe)
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A better internet tough guy would talk about keeping his PS90 next to his bed while he jacks off his rage erection. Wow this guy is somehow a bigger pussy that Fatrick.
 
Meriasek said:
I'm wondering if he maybe stole some valour and hopes nobody will be able to tell because it's all classified, of course.
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I'd bet money on it. From what I know, most Special Forces soldiers are intentionally very vague about their service and don't tend to brag about what they did, whereas if someone is thumping their chest about being a Green Beret or SOCOM or whatever, odds are they were actually a box-kicker or otherwise never saw combat and are desperate to pretend otherwise because they need to feel like a badass. There are exceptions, but even then those guys tend to be looked down on by their fellow soldiers. The guy who claimed to have domed Bin Laden, for instance, has had his account disputed by other SEALs and the Naval Special Warfare leadership said, basically, that he needed to shut up because bragging about it violated the SEAL ethos of quiet professionalism. I once knew a Vietnam vet who just referred to his tours as his "overseas vacation from Uncle Sam", and then much, much later I found out that he'd been in Army intelligence and was part of a CIA project to train the locals to assassinate Viet Cong leaders and had been in some incredibly hairy situations. Never said a word about it to me or anyone else I knew who knew him. He was just a quiet, chill guy, not like this clown at all.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
I'd bet money on it. From what I know, most Special Forces soldiers are intentionally very vague about their service and don't tend to brag about what they did, whereas if someone is thumping their chest about being a Green Beret or SOCOM or whatever, odds are they were actually a box-kicker or otherwise never saw combat and are desperate to pretend otherwise because they need to feel like a badass. There are exceptions, but even then those guys tend to be looked down on by their fellow soldiers. The guy who claimed to have domed Bin Laden, for instance, has had his account disputed by other SEALs and the Naval Special Warfare leadership said, basically, that he needed to shut up because bragging about it violated the SEAL ethos of quiet professionalism. I once knew a Vietnam vet who just referred to his tours as his "overseas vacation from Uncle Sam", and then much, much later I found out that he'd been in Army intelligence and was part of a CIA project to train the locals to assassinate Viet Cong leaders and had been in some incredibly hairy situations. Never said a word about it to me or anyone else I knew who knew him. He was just a quiet, chill guy, not like this clown at all.
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Thankfully for SEALs, selling a workout program guaranteed to help to pass BUDS is not against their ethos.
 
Anonymus Fluhre said:
Ah this guy. His books are shit. He likes to pretend he knows how use a sword but his books show otherwise.

I should point out that the best word he can use when someone is talking is "said". There's next to no emotion or anything.
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The whole 12 people who gave a shit will really help you out
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Your books aren't worth the paper they're written on. Oh wait! You only do digital, they're not worth the 498kbs.
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No, my donations can go some place else.
This guy really is just like Patrick and Shane. At least he supposedly sold more books than Patrick so I guess there's that.
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He sounds so cool. I bet he can punch you with both hands while simultaneously kicking you with both feet.
 
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! said:
Non-medical nudes of Leslie will only help her reputation because it would mean that somebody, anybody, actually wanted to see her naked. I can understand some negroid deciding to bang her bonus hole in a moment of blackout drunkenness, but certainly we can all agree that the chance of another human getting sexual gratification from her malformed hair-lipped visage is near zero. I hope the funsters consider that in the unlikely event one of them gets a hold of her sexy time photos. Posting her nudes will not hurt her one bit and may well render any man impotent who accidentally sees them.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go puke.
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My day is worse for having read this
 
Judge Holden said:
Countdown to the next craigslist ad starting now...
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This is why your life is already over. Enjoy Gallitep
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As of twenty minutes ago he is now threatening his new whiskey barrel with prison
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Something Awful said:
This guy seems to be an absolute giga-faggot, akin to Rick before he was buck-broken. He's not really part of the Rick Show yet, but I hope he joins the cast soon. Lots of potential. (He's a member of the SFWA, and he and Rick follow each other on Bluesky, so it's not totally unrelated)

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This guy's an unholy fusion dance of Rick, Snackie, Butter Knife Butt and the Navy Seal Copypasta. I can see him coming to Fat's defense soon, as only the most autistic retards gunt-guard the pig.
 
A.P. Hill said:
This guy's an unholy fusion dance of Rick, Snackie, Butter Knife Butt and the Navy Seal Copypasta. I can see him coming to Fat's defense soon, as only the most autistic retards gunt-guard the pig.
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His friend that's a "blacksmith" is also shit at making swords. There's visible welds. He's welding them together!
 
that Joseph Malik faggot writes and reads just like The Dark Id (a notoriously mentally ill moron and Let's Player from SomethingAwful) when he was writing about how he was behind enemy lines in Russia smoking ziggers as part of a PMC.
 
Malik was an admin clerk or something else he doesn't want to specify. I'd put money on it. He'd at least say he was Ranger or Special Forces if he actually did anything. We had a Security Forces guy come to us, they have to do the last year of their contract in the Fleet at an infantry battalion, who re-uppsed and got a duty assignment with MARSOC doing admin shit. They were just standing up at the time. We quickly determined he was not cut out to be a squad leader. He eventually figured that out as well and got the fuck away from leading Marines.

He was a fag, but I doubt even he puffs his chest out as a former member of Marine Special Operations Command. Most guys don't go blabbing on about what they actually did while deployed, but Malik's weasel words about how he served is a yuuuge red flag. Just say you did maintenance for 160th SOAR. The fact that he doesn't even say that means he worked at the chow hall for the SF indoc course or something.
 
Useful_Mistake said:
Not if you're @Judge Holden . He's into some weird shit.
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He's the soulmate of Patrick S. Tomlinson, Actual Tough Guy who's well known to be "into things." Why would we expect him to be any closer to normal?
YouTube Autist said:
As long as no one releases Patrick's nudes, we'll be okay.
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Bitch tits that big aren't particularly erotic and there's almost no chance to see twig and berries. If anything the danger of his nudes is entrancing viewers with just how incredibly fat he is.
Useful_Mistake said:
the anally raped Shane the CD stealer.
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Do you mean Shane "Butter Knife Butt" Nokes?
Dizzyuntildeath said:
Oh we all have that one weird thing.

What's yours, Princess Azula?
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Hey, he's a good boy who dindu nuffin! He only has sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation!


Something Awful said:
an Internet tough guy named Joseph Malik, whom they aptly describe as "blending Pat, Jackie, and Shane Nokes into a single person".
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What would be worse, the smell, the voice/screechy lisp, or the faggotry?
Second Missing Primarch said:
From what I know, most Special Forces soldiers are intentionally very vague about their service and don't tend to brag about what they did
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I assure you this is not true. If anything it's the inverse
 
break these cuffs said:
Malik was an admin clerk or something else he doesn't want to specify. I'd put money on it. He'd at least say he was Ranger or Special Forces if he actually did anything. We had a Security Forces guy come to us, they have to do the last year of their contract in the Fleet at an infantry battalion, who re-uppsed and got a duty assignment with MARSOC doing admin shit. They were just standing up at the time. We quickly determined he was not cut out to be a squad leader. He eventually figured that out as well and got the fuck away from leading Marines.

He was a fag, but I doubt even he puffs his chest out as a former member of Marine Special Operations Command. Most guys don't go blabbing on about what they actually did while deployed, but Malik's weasel words about how he served is a yuuuge red flag. Just say you did maintenance for 160th SOAR. The fact that he doesn't even say that means he worked at the chow hall for the SF indoc course or something.
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He stated he was S2, but had to be able to perform like an operator, which is bullshit.

S2 is as pencil pushing as it gets
 
moseph.jartelli said:
He stated he was S2, but had to be able to perform like an operator, which is bullshit.

S2 is as pencil pushing as it gets
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I always felt sorry for the PFC Joe Blows who signed up to play GI Joe but got stuck being the S2's driver. Who knew one could leverage making coffee and loitering around the motor pool into a writing career?
 
moseph.jartelli said:
He stated he was S2, but had to be able to perform like an operator, which is bullshit.

S2 is as pencil pushing as it gets
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We had a 2 shop guy come out with us every once in a while and it was always a counter-intel cat, but it was never on hits and always for a specific purpose. Malik was prepping mission packages or giving briefings to shiny shoulders. As long as he did his job, just be proud of that.

Everyone who did it knows someone who did more. There's no shame in it. I knew oper8ors, guys awarded a Silver Star or a Bronze + V, guys who didn't get shit but everyone knows what they did. Feeling like you gotta puff your chest of over some shit means you're feeling inadequate.
 
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