I like JD Vance, but you guys ever wonder sometime? I'm like, thinking if I had a time machine, I could just picture it.
Hop back in time, there is Young JD listening to his Walkman and trying to skateboard poorly at some skatepark. I want something else - To get me through this semi-charmed life, baby, baby - and as he does a kick flip and once again can't get the skateboard to pop right, you come up to him.
"Listen, JD. I got dire news. In the future, you marry a jeet and you have jeet children. I'm not even kidding, JD. Like, kids with bowl cuts and shit JD. So Indian, that your children will be like 'Father, may I have a dollar to cut the lawn?" and you will give him that dollar, JD - And that little jeet will then proceed to cut a diagonal nonsensical circle in the lawn, poop in the grass and then start selling lemonade tainted by his poop hands to other kids getting them sick. You can't let this happen, JD!"
And he would be like "Whoa, dude, in the future I smash puss? That's awesome."
"No! JD! They are Indian! You can't!"
"lol awesome, in the future I smash box."
Then, as you are ripped back into the future, you scream "Nooo! JD! The Indians! The smelly brown rapist Indians, JD! They will infiltrate America with cons and steal evy-" before getting blasted back to our future. Sadly, you look around your apartment windows and outside, you see a U-Haul truck with another grotesque, pudgy, brown Indian family already throwing their garbage outside, littering everywhere, and you let out a sigh.