UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Muad'Dick]

Come on lads. The Yanks are watching.

Carry on.

 

[Pholidota]

Hello Kiwis, if you would indulge me I'd like to share an anecdote with you all.

Spoiler: Nature Spergery

I volunteer a decent amount of my time to conserving my local ancient woodlands and nature reserves. Absolutely beautiful, serene places that, to me, encapsulate everything magical about British wildlife; a diverse mix of organisms that have each found a niche and do their part to uphold the delicate balance of the ecosystem. Tempered by the fires of competition and time, but still retaining their British quaintness and charm, nature has reached a peaceful harmony despite the coldness of natural selection. There is a sense of cooperation rather than competition. You half expect Mr. Toad to pop out from under a brash hedge at any moment.
This is the way it would have been for millennia, but like with everything humans thought they could do better. The Victorians loved travelling, searching for exotic looking specimens and bringing them back to their gardens. Gardens which eventually crumble into disrepair and release the invasive flora, which in turn outcompete our native plants with no natural defenses against the foreign invader. These plants can be ruthless, they can reproduce faster and more readily, they can smother the native population, and even reshape the land they live on. There are dozens of examples of these, but the one I'd like to draw your attention to today is Himalayan Balsam.

Himalayan Balsam is a nasty piece of work from the extremities of the subcontinent, and I spend a lot of my summer trying to eradicate it. However, to someone less knowledgeable, it looks like a harmless, even desirable flowering plant.
The nature of Himalayan Balsam is to spread and smother. It takes shallow roots in the land it invades and reproduces and grows faster than the native species. It survives and thrives in harsh conditions, growing twice as tall twice as fast as indigenous flora, blanketing the forest floor and stealing all the light from the undergrowth.
It is also nigh-on indestructible, able to reroot from any of multiple nodes along it's stem. It can also survive on residual soil left attached to its roots, and even with no soil it can use it's remaining water and energy to flower, go to seed, and reproduce. The only way to stop it is with total destruction. Crushing, shredding, burning, poison, whatever, but you must be as ruthless as it is.
Once Balsam has established, no natural pressures will be able to stop it, and then it sets about ruining the foundations of the land it has conquered. Due to its shallow roots, the soil becomes loose and more readily eroded, leading to landslides and further habitat destruction. It takes resources and nutrients from the land and gives little back.

One day, while pulling balsam in a steep ditch, a man walked by on the adjacent footpath. We exchanged hellos and he asked what I was doing. I explained I was getting rid of an invasive and destructive weed. He looked perplexed by this, and revealed that he was a local beekeeper, and that his bees loved foraging for pollen in the attractive flowers of the balsam. Indeed, they are industrious pollen producers. I attempted to explain that although there may be a superficial benefit to their existence, they were doing more harm than good and a healthy, diverse ecosystem would be far superior. The man seemed unconvinced and went about his walk.
This interaction brought to mind countless of conversations I've had with people about immigration, how many people's first thoughts are to bring up the benefits of bringing in non-native populations, namely their food and their work ethic, without much thought to the effects on the system as a whole. Most people simply aren't educated on how damaging it can be, how it can completely change the environment of a place until it is completely alien.
Human culture, like all other things that exist in nature, is beholden to natural selection, it is trial and error of what works and what doesn't, and different populations and environments settle on different balances, different relationships, different competition and cooperation. In this way culture can be compared to an ecosystem.
Non-native species have no investment in the ecosystem they are entering. They are not a part of the delicate balances that have to be maintained so it doesn't all come crashing down. They spread and take shallow roots in the land. Easily uprooted and transplanted elsewhere, unaware of the unique and special identity of the ecosystem they have destroyed, and why would they care? They've won. They can siphon from a well established and mature environment, and then move on just as readily as they arrived. It is the onus of the invaded to not allow this to happen, so why then would the invaded invite the invaders in? Why would the invaded run defense for the invaders, and actively demonize the ones pushing back? Because the invaders present pretty flowers and abundant pollen, and it seems that's enough to fool us.
Thanks for reading this essay <3

EDIT: adding an appeal to all British kiwis. Please, take some time to familiarise yourself with how to identify and dispose of balsam, and whenever you are on a walk in our green and pleasant lands and spot some, KILL MAIM DESTROY ERADICATE please and thank you

 

[ghj123]

Apologists ought to be the first ones to get the rope, no exceptions.

View attachment 7834602

https://x.com/AnnaZ/status/1960362538840801648

I am not holding my breath, but I'd really like for it to happen.

Those weapons look AI.

How long before hanging a britflag becomes like passover? Lamb-blood St George flag painted door, I shall pass.

 

[Hoi Polloi]

Non-native species have no investment in the ecosystem they are entering.

I've got a similar interest in invasive species. Few people know this, but the native shrew population in Ireland has been absolutely fucked by an invasive shrew species. That same species has made it's way to England and is very likely going to do the same over the next few years. I believe its already approaching a point where the horses have bolted and we're just going to have to bow down to our new continental shrew overlords. We haven't got a fucking clue how they got here as they've only been spotted fairly inland.

Similarly, American mink that were brought over from the long abandoned fur trade have had a very solid foothold in our waterways, generally eating water shrews and bank voles into oblivion. However since they're much larger, easier to spot, and need to expose themselves to hunt there's projects all over the UK trapping and killing them wholesale - pretty sure they've been completely wiped out in parts of England.

Most people simply aren't educated on how damaging it can be, how it can completely change the environment of a place until it is completely alien.

Its the same for plants and animals, but it's far easier to explain to people that an animal that doesn't fit into the ecosystem will just hoover up resources until there's nothing left for the native animals, resulting in decline. Good example would be cats. Outdoor cats have been a staple in Britain for centuries, but they've absolutely fucked the populations of many native birds and small mammals - that's an obvious concern. But what about the other, less bloodthirsty predators? Our mustelid populations have dropped immensely due to out-competition by cats (plus urbanisation but that's not relevant here). Cats barely eat what they hunt to boot.

Of course, this is all animal and plant ecology, and has nothing to do with humans. As we know, all humans are completely interchangeable blank slates for which these concepts have no bearing.

@Pholidota thank you for your effort. I also care a lot about UK wildlife and it's reassuring to hear that there are people putting a graft in to at least try and unfuck it.

 

[teriyakiburns]

My point is just that more of your fellow voters may be friends of convenience than you'd like.

It doesn't take many actually driven people to foment a revolution. A lot of those friends of convenience become friends of necessity fairly sharpish, once the bullets start flying, as the mere act of flying their colours on the rebel side, however mealy-mouthed their support may be, makes them part of the group to be targeted by the state. Some may denounce and deny, but enough will realise that they will never be left alone from that point forward, so they may as well go all the way.

Its the same for plants and animals, but it's far easier to explain to people that an animal that doesn't fit into the ecosystem will just hoover up resources until there's nothing left for the native animals, resulting in decline.

Grey squirrels. They eat everything reds eat, but also eat a bunch of other stuff. They carry a disease they're immune to, but that decimates reds. They're larger, more prone to violence, and a potential vector for diseases that affect humans. The only reason they're not treated like the vermin they are is because they have big eyes and little hands.

I hear they taste good, though.

 

[Trig.Point]

Asmongold God bless him talked about the UK and his editor release a 2 min compilation clip. Sadiq Khan's rage inducing take on the grooming gangs was included.

Regarding the female police posing as Joggers. In theory it's a great idea, and could have some genuine impact. However everyone knows they're going to be selective about who they go after.

Also here's some rage bait from BBC online. Showing an example of the typical person who causes a nuisance on public transport.

https://x.com/wayotworld/status/1960647004645626346

 

[Failed Lurker]

Asmongold God bless him talked about the UK and his editor release a 2 min compilation clip. Sadiq Khan's rage inducing take on the grooming gangs was included.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fwD2cl5O6BQ
Regarding the female police posing as Joggers. In theory it's a great idea, and could have some genuine impact. However everyone knows they're going to be selective about who they go after.

Also here's some rage bait from BBC online. Showing an example of the typical person who causes a nuisance on public transport.

View attachment 7837668

https://x.com/wayotworld/status/1960647004645626346

Similar concept to the Nord Vpn ad that keeps appearing on YouTube of the black/brown guy on the sofa on his phone needing to be protected from online scams from the white hoodie wearing guys that appear from behind him, as if the Nigerian Prince or Do Not Redeem don't exist...

 

[Pholidota]

Also here's some rage bait from BBC online. Showing an example of the typical person who causes a nuisance on public transport.

Here's another representative photo of a typical day on the tube. I tell you it's about time someone put a stop to the old white men loudly practicing their freestyle raps, or the middle aged white women watching tiktok at full volume, or the white teens having a loud conversation over speakerphone in another language.

 

[Hoi Polloi]

Grey squirrels. They eat everything reds eat, but also eat a bunch of other stuff. They carry a disease they're immune to, but that decimates reds. They're larger, more prone to violence, and a potential vector for diseases that affect humans. The only reason they're not treated like the vermin they are is because they have big eyes and little hands.

Can't believe this one slipped my mind. The disease you're referring to is Squirrelpox (SQPV) and I'm very familiar with it. People are still trying to work out if it's present in Scotland or not and may explain why there's a few unmolested enclaves of reds there. Once again, it's too late to do anything about it for now, but if the ones in Scotland are protected we could very slowly bring them back in the same way we have red kites.

I'd also like to see lynxes make a return, but too many farmers are convinced they kill livestock (they don't).

 

[ChefKiss]

The possibility that a migrant rapist happened upon a teenage girl carrying a knife and hatchet while attempting his next rape and then filmed it and thus proof of his guilt to post on facebook knowing the globohomo police would arrest said teenage girl seems to be significantly lower likely than this being another instance of a batshit feral teenager chimping out in public while waving around some kind of weapon and the focus of said chimpout filming them to both have something to show the police and also cover their own ass.

It could well eventually be shown to be some variant or permutation of the former but I think it would be prudent to temper expectations and let this sit until a follow-up emerges before engaging in any kind of rage masturbation like the aforementioned e-jeets lest it come out this kid has a record for this kind of shit and that this whole thing has handed the left a talking point to crow over for the next ten years.

Buddy there are literally hundreds if not thousands of videos of these savages that they post THEMSELVES talking about how they want to rape and murder, how they are planning to rape and murder and giving tips on how to rape and murder. they never get punished for this and they happily record videos like this because THEY KNOW the girl will be the one punished, not them. They know they have the governments full support in their raping and murdering because they've had it for fucking years, they were protected and covered up for a long time

 

[Judge Holden]

Buddy there are literally hundreds if not thousands of videos of these savages that they post THEMSELVES talking about how they want to rape and murder, how they are planning to rape and murder and giving tips on how to rape and murder. they never get punished for this and they happily record videos like this because THEY KNOW the girl will be the one punished, not them.

Seems like the kind of thing you should probably link some examples of to prove your point or maybe an article or two that details them as this is shit even the jeet swarms don't cite when jerking off over any suggestion of interracial/muslim rape in europe

They know they have the governments full support in their raping and murdering because they've had it for fucking years, they were protected and covered up for a long time

And again I note that if this is the case then its kinda fucked up you are wasting time arguing with people on kiwifarms about it instead of going out and fighting the decades long violent race war that's happening outside your door. If you got time to be waxing lyrical about it, you got time to go out and patrol the streets for rape gangs.

This goes for anyone and everyone. If you regularly spend your time typing down all the genocidally evil things you think are happening in your community and all the edgy things you think should be done about them without doing anything beyond tugging yourself off online about what you wish would happen, you are every bit the LARPing fraud as the archetypical leftist troon with a pastel marx profile pic who spends every waking hour ranting about how everything bad is the fault of capitalism and white people while seething about the coming revolution and how they will create a non binary polycule to hunt down suspected capitalist sympathisers while doing nothing but collecting disability and waxing their carrot to Deltarune porn

 

[Otterly]

Please, take some time to familiarise yourself with how to identify and dispose of balsam, and whenever you are on a walk in our green and pleasant lands and spot some, KILL MAIM DESTROY ERADICATE please and thank you

I volunteer with the local group who balsam bash (and clean and generally spruce up) along a specific bit of local nice greenery/river. Well worth doing and good excercise.
Total invasive species death. Thank you

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Irn Bru has brought out a new advert bringing back it's famous "Made from Girders" catch phrase.
The main character is a little Scottish boy (you may need subtitles if you're of the superior countries in our Great union)
The shop keeper is a paki
There's a negro the kid gives a pep talk to
There's a blue haired woman while the kid talks about being ginger

It's so beautifully Scottish. It's so modern and inclusive.

Spoiler: Iron Brew

I hope Scotland boycotts that shite until they do a proper new advert with only ginger cunts.

 

[EddyRooney]

PURPLE AKI IS DEAD

I only know a few facts about this character.

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way ( is there an appropriate one ? )
He was so black he was purple.
He was the stuff of nightmares. A true urban legend.

BBC's take on him

 

[Elysian]

PURPLE AKI IS DEAD

I only know a few facts about this character.

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way ( is there an appropriate one ? )
He was so black he was purple.
He was the stuff of nightmares. A true urban legend.

BBC's take on him

He went to prison at one point because in his eternal quest for muscle molestation he chased a teenage boy into the path of an oncoming train.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

PURPLE AKI IS DEAD

I only know a few facts about this character.

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way ( is there an appropriate one ? )
He was so black he was purple.
He was the stuff of nightmares. A true urban legend.

BBC's take on him

Get Elton on the phone, time for Candle in the Wind 2025. Tributes to a pioneering LGBTQ+ BAME figure in British bodybuilding.

 

[Crunkle]

PURPLE AKI IS DEAD

I only know a few facts about this character.

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way ( is there an appropriate one ? )
He was so black he was purple.
He was the stuff of nightmares. A true urban legend.

BBC's take on him

Oh shit, RIP Barney

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way

It was way weirder than that, he used to approach young men and ask them specifically. He even did it if they were in a group of friends.

Anyone got that video of him getting chased down the street as a car full of lads shoot fireworks at him?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Oh shit, RIP Barney


It was way weirder than that, he used to approach young men and ask them specifically. He even did it if they were in a group of friends.

Anyone got that video of him getting chased down the street as a car full of lads shoot fireworks at him?

 

[Crunkle]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xT9ud8iTL7Q

Thanks, was just trying to upload this as I found it right after posting that. Site being a bit slow with attachments at the mo.

Local archive:

 

[FedPostalService]

PURPLE AKI IS DEAD

I only know a few facts about this character.

He liked to squeeze people's muscles in a weird and inappropriate way ( is there an appropriate one ? )
He was so black he was purple.
He was the stuff of nightmares. A true urban legend.

BBC's take on him

Squats are no longer happening, lads.

Good night, sweet prince