Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

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"The child Rocco." If I were a normal person like Joe, that's totally how I'd refer to my kid.
That is his TITLE, bigot. And The kInG oF bAbIeS doesn't enter. He commits INGRESS. This is how you know his mental case failure of a man father is an educated, well bred, member of the Clown World Algonquin Round Table.
 
More on the "fermentation room":
Screenshot 2025-08-25 125313.webp
 
Mallory has talked about being in recovery as an alcoholic.
Probably more like Wil Wheaton's "I was bad at drinking and don't enjoy it, but forced myself to choke down a pint every time a round was ordered to my table in my 20s because I'm too much of a pussy to do what I actually want instead of whatever my roommates are doing, then woke up feeling horrible and decided that this is what is meant when alcoholics say drinking ruined their lives" with a bit of "controlling abusive husband makes me join in his games so now instead of 'Mal dislikes beer' we are 'sober together' ".
 
Probably more like Wil Wheaton's "I was bad at drinking and don't enjoy it, but forced myself to choke down a pint every time a round was ordered to my table in my 20s because I'm too much of a pussy to do what I actually want instead of whatever my roommates are doing, then woke up feeling horrible and decided that this is what is meant when alcoholics say drinking ruined their lives" with a bit of "controlling abusive husband makes me join in his games so now instead of 'Mal dislikes beer' we are 'sober together' ".
Mallory was sober first, pretty sure she was already sober when she and Joe met. I agree that whatever she was calling "alcoholism" must have been pretty damn mild, but whatever, be sober if you want to. Joe by all accounts was a genuine shambolic drunk and cokehead. They have both discussed the fact that Joe tried to get together with Mallory and she refused because he was an active addict. Then he got sober.

Anyway, new Instagram post from our lumberjack dad. That body language from Lily, oof/lol:
Screenshot 2025-08-26 213822.webp
540495699_18501749872067089_4457424740900143409_n.webp

Joe detransition confirmed? He looks like Ozzy Osbourne.
Screenshot 2025-08-26 213716.webp

Side note: I just checked on Chez Lily. Still under contract.
 
More on the "fermentation room":
View attachment 7829757
What the fuck is a tEpAcHe?

He just fucking HAS to use whatever words to sound like the smartest asshole in the room.

Nevermind. Looked it up. Penitentiary TERLET wine. Probably used one of his own filthy britbomg used sweatsocks as a filter. Hopefully he has Lily burping it for him. Without instructions.
 
So is the fermentation hobby Joe's way of continuing to drink while pretending not to? I'm sure the other people in the house have no desire to touch his little science experiments, so they wouldn't know what the ABV of his various concoctions was. Alcoholics can be very sneaky and make a lot of effort to keep their closest family from knowing they're off the wagon.
 
So is the fermentation hobby Joe's way of continuing to drink while pretending not to? I'm sure the other people in the house have no desire to touch his little science experiments, so they wouldn't know what the ABV of his various concoctions was. Alcoholics can be very sneaky and make a lot of effort to keep their closest family from knowing they're off the wagon.
Incredibly unlikely. Nothing he’s ever posted would have significant alcohol levels. Yeast only produce alcohol in an anaerobic environment, and he’s never posted pics of those — we’d have to see airlocks on his jars. Aerobic ferments like the lacto ones Joe describes rarely produce alcohol in excess of .5% or so, about the same as store-bought OJ (kombucha and other carbonated ferments can be slightly higher, 2% or so, since you have to create an airtight environment to carbonate).

It’s not very hard to make a liquid that contains alcohol around 5-8% ABV. It is quite hard to make a consistent product that you would willingly drink when cheap, delicious alcohol abounds in stores. Lots of novice home brewers give up when they realize it takes a long time and a lot of effort to make beer that is more expensive and worse tasting than the vast majority of beer you can walk into any corner store and buy.

Not to mention, hiding a bottle from your family would be much easier than hiding a home brewery.
 
Incredibly unlikely. Nothing he’s ever posted would have significant alcohol levels. Yeast only produce alcohol in an anaerobic environment, and he’s never posted pics of those — we’d have to see airlocks on his jars. Aerobic ferments like the lacto ones Joe describes rarely produce alcohol in excess of .5% or so, about the same as store-bought OJ (kombucha and other carbonated ferments can be slightly higher, 2% or so, since you have to create an airtight environment to carbonate).

It’s not very hard to make a liquid that contains alcohol around 5-8% ABV. It is quite hard to make a consistent product that you would willingly drink when cheap, delicious alcohol abounds in stores. Lots of novice home brewers give up when they realize it takes a long time and a lot of effort to make beer that is more expensive and worse tasting than the vast majority of beer you can walk into any corner store and buy.

Not to mention, hiding a bottle from your family would be much easier than hiding a home brewery.

Why go to the trouble when you can just add a bunch of alcohol to your nastiest-sounding flavor of whatever that nobody wants, and take from it when you feel like it? I'm not saying Joe has a winemaking operation or moonshine distillery. Just that one of the big problems alcoholics have in hiding an addiction is where to stash the bottles in a place where they won't be discovered but are easy to access when desired. That's an even harder problem in a small house where everyone's (metaphorically and literally) on top of each other, but the fermentation room solves that problem handily.
 
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