💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Studies have shown that if you give your kid a unique name, they're more likely to do poorly in life. So this kid has that going against them as well as being a Scalfatty.
I wonder if a lot of the data in those studies are due to people like Chirquita and Quadarious not doing great, but probably because of other factors in their life holding them back, more than their actual names. The whole 'correlation does not imply causation' thing.

Unique names that have actual etymological backgrounds, that have developed over time, and are real names, but just rare, aren't something that usually hold a kid back, I think, at all. But I'm not a fan of the ones parents make up out of nowhere, that defy the rules around how language develops and works. Those names usually give the first impression of: 'My parents lack education beyond primary school.'
 
Posted on instagram by Jack Jr. and provided by a helpful source,

Jack has just become a grandfather
View attachment 7762608
Awesome; that name is going to fuck that kid over for the rest of his life. Odd names like this often come off as untrustworthy, and kids will mock the name. Especially if Jason is spelled with an 'I' like that too. I mean I know neither Fatty or Jr. give a shit if the kid struggles with a career with that fucktastic name, but it's a thing.

Also the only reason they had to pray was because Jr. had to think of Yeebus to even fuck his wife due to his latent urges for young sweaty men.
The sound of Jack Jr's fist pounding the table silences his son. "Yeah and I spent half my childhood on a toilet because of all the illnesses I got from his cooking. I'm not making the mistakes that man made. Do you understand?"
Oh please; he'd scream, scaring the kid, and then punch the wall. Though besides that, I could see it given how much of an abusive piece of shit Jack was to Jr.
 
Not really, he's no Trisha Paytas or other crazy cow.
He's one of the most significant "normal cows" and this means the story of scalfani's will likely continue with jr. This thread attracts tons of specific people and there are hundreds of videos made about him.

But then again it would mean 10 pages of retardation so maybe it's best to not have a feature.

Edit: the latest feature is a vtuber (who I've never heard of and only literal faggots watch that shit) has turned their voice changer off. Jack is absolutely way more famous.
 
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Awesome; that name is going to fuck that kid over for the rest of his life. Odd names like this often come off as untrustworthy, and kids will mock the name. Especially if Jason is spelled with an 'I' like that too. I mean I know neither Fatty or Jr. give a shit if the kid struggles with a career with that fucktastic name, but it's a thing.
They should have named him Dontavius Omali Yeshitela Uhuru Dolezal McMasterson Salmeonellus Scalfani, so he can choke out his pregnant girlfriend at 16 and fuck off to Colorado, larp as a black man with a shitty spray tan, and start a black-owned business/commune recruiting underage communist college students and pull off a Jonestown-style mass suicide via poorly cooked chicken thighs.
 
Late replying, but in regards to Jack talking about having a minor on video, I don't think that's YouTube specific. I live in MN and there was a law passed that limits putting minors in monetized videos regardless of the platform.

'The law, which took effect July 1, entitles minors ages 14-18 to compensation when they are consistently featured in paid content, while those under 14 are barred from appearing in the content entirely.'
 
Someone Who Isn't Me was given a difficult to pronounce name. Let me tell you, it fucks with your adolescence.
Someone Who Definitely Isn't Me is in the middle of a bureaucratic shitshow over the DMV being too retarded to print the correct last name on their ID, I would imagine "Jasin" is going to cause similar issues which can be a nightmare to fix later in life.
 
Edit: the latest feature is a vtuber (who I've never heard of and only literal faggots watch that shit) has turned their voice changer off. Jack is absolutely way more famous.
I'm gonna have to echo this statement.
A retarded jew larping as an anime girl saying nigger got not one, but two features, with the latest one being "lol he turned his voice changer off". Those are really low standards. It is debatable whether he should have gotten even one.
 
Let me know if im posting this in the wrong spot (sorry if i am) - is anyone aware of similar horrible youtube chefs to Jack? Think stuff like party cheese salad or that one godforsaken video where jack is boiling meat and it looks like a radiated grey bubble. Just downright horrific content of someone who is bold-faced cooking an abomination two steps away from qualifying as a homonculus. Odd request but I think theyre fascinating, maybe a general thread of dogshit chefs can be made some day,
 
Let me know if im posting this in the wrong spot (sorry if i am) - is anyone aware of similar horrible youtube chefs to Jack? Think stuff like party cheese salad or that one godforsaken video where jack is boiling meat and it looks like a radiated grey bubble. Just downright horrific content of someone who is bold-faced cooking an abomination two steps away from qualifying as a homonculus. Odd request but I think theyre fascinating, maybe a general thread of dogshit chefs can be made some day,
There are Kay and Masaokis (although I am pretty sure that guy is taking the piss). The thing is they're both just awful at cooking. Kay is kind of nice. Masaokis is a phenomenal weirdo. Neither has the thing Jack has where he's such a completely repulsive asshole personally that he makes you hate his guts personally.
 
My pooner radar is activated.
Kid was wrapped in a blanket with the troon colours on it, then it was wearing a hat in the troon colours.
The shirtless thing also screams pooner.
Yes, skin to skin is a thing for fathers, but why clart your child in troon regalia if not troon, hmm?
 
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