🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[limbdiction]

Here's some Mald lore

*opens mspaint*

"So I was at Amazon making a whole bunch of money using a high level programming language called Python to develop their game engine. Don't use that engine. It sucks, no reason. Yeah, so anyway then I got my sixth black badge and this one was with honors. And so the President asked me if I wanted to single handedly hack nuclear power plants for the Department of Energy. Well there were seven of us on the team, but I did most of the work. And we mostly ran reports. For a contractor, ten weeks out of the year. It was actually pretty boring, and the contract got cancelled. But then I got famous because a Youtuber played my kickstarter abandonware, and the rest is history."

*switches back to ferretfucker.games*

 

[Burnt Effigy]

Dear Kiwis, Dear Lurkers, Dear Ross, Dear Mald,



Today is a resounding day of victory.
Mere moments after the birthday of our favorite retard, Jason "Maldavius Figtree" Hall, we have reached our objective.
One point four million of you, your friends, your family, and even complete strangers, have gotten together to claim, together:

"Fuck off, game corponiggers."

All the way from Ross' initial videos, a decade ago, to the start of the petition, it was, unfortunately, not the most successful.
Mald, nigger that he is, managed to use his artificial clout to try to close the movement's casket. And, for a while, he succeeded.

Ross, desperate after yet another limp response to his movement, was about to throw in the towel, and ranted on youtube.
But, if any of you have been anywhere on the farms, you'll know: a lolcow always acts against their better judgement, and always lands us in the funniest timeline.
Mald, the biggest, most retarded gorilla nigger one may have ever seen, couldn't stop himself, he had to speak out once again.

And, on that day, something incredible happened. Mald's sheer fucking retardation inspired the rest of the planet.
Especially the Finns, with a resounding "Perkele!" from 1% of the entire country, and the Krauts, 300 000 of them remembering that, actually, Hitler was a socialist.
Everybody, small and large, both in body and in audience, came together to add a sentence to the original claim:

"And fuck you too, Mald."

May this remain a lesson for all involved: We live in the funniest timeline, and the funniest outcome will always succeed, especially at the expense of a lolcow.
Godsneed, y'all. Godsneed.


"This image was created by @DefinitelyNotMe "

P.S.: I've retrieved anAI GENERATED message from a different version of Mr mAIldAIvius fAIgtree from another, alternate universe, using advanced quantum AI GENERATION to get this statement:

Do note that any similarity between this audio and any real person or action is purely incidental, and nothing said in this AI generated audio clip by F5-TTS claims that anything may or may not have happened in our current reality.

 

[Frightened Rabbit]

I would like to thank Mald, for taking us this far.

 

[cigint]

Off topic, but is there any proof of Jason cheating in the Witness

Of course not, there's never any proof of him looking up solutions, because that would basically require him to out himself by accidentally streaming his guide.

But for example in Animal well, he travels across the entire map because he's suddenly decided to solve the puzzle of the "wombat", which just happens to be the next step he needs to do in a series of puzzles. "Actually chat, we've been calling it a wombat the whole game, but I believe it's actually a groundhog, because it refuses to come out of his hole." umm okay. "Wait a minute guys, wait a minute. I just got a crazy idea. I'm going to change my system time to February 2nd, which I do believe is Groundhog Day. And now we reload the game... AHA, I solved it. It's such a clever puzzle guys!"

I mean you are the ultimate niggercattle if you think that's organic.

 

[Gromit the Claymation Dog]

I’m

Every time the flames start to die down, he finds some way to reignite them it feels like.

He’s on a downward spiral hype train. Gotta keep that hate going, he’s looking to break the record.

 

[Pierre D'Olnique]

Get fucking destroyed, Mald.

 

[Maeis]

Ross is live with The Act Man, notable gaming commentator.

 

[hand holding faggot]

But for example in Animal well, he travels across the entire map because he's suddenly decided to solve the puzzle of the "wombat", which just happens to be the next step he needs to do in a series of puzzles. "Actually chat, we've been calling it a wombat the whole game, but I believe it's actually a groundhog, because it refuses to come out of his hole." umm okay. "Wait a minute guys, wait a minute. I just got a crazy idea. I'm going to change my system time to February 2nd, which I do believe is Groundhog Day. And now we reload the game... AHA, I solved it. It's such a clever puzzle guys!"

The best example in Animal Well is how he notices a poster in the background and says "It's a map". The whole Albino vid about it is pretty good.

 

[Seedling]

Is there an apology form I can fill for slandering yandere dev's coding skills?

Mald vindicated Yandere dev coding skills and work ethic, the only line Mald still has to cross to outgun him is chasing after minors in his audience.

 

[Jester Who Didn't Laugh]

Good Animator, James Lee /NOX posted an nice video about SKG and have nice Maldy tumbnail:

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

P.S.: I've retrieved anAI GENERATED message from a different version of Mr mAIldAIvius fAIgtree from another, alternate universe, using advanced quantum AI GENERATION to get this statement:
Do note that any similarity between this audio and any real person or action is purely incidental, and nothing said in this AI generated audio clip by F5-TTS claims that anything may or may not have happened in our current reality.

I wasn't expecting much but this was great, it almost healed my hate for a moment

 

[BigPeanut]

Mald vindicated Yandere dev coding skills and work ethic, the only line Mald still has to cross to outgun him is chasing after minors in his audience.

“Dude insane behavior in this post. I fuck ferrets, gnomes, Huskies, pooners, and Little eighteen year old gay Chinese boys. I don’t fuck kids, why would you ever even think that, eat my entire ass.”

 

[Trogspawn]

I've been playing Far Cry 2 lately and I noticed when you open it up on steam you get an option to launch a multiplayer server. Ubisoft has always had the ability to stop killing their games, they just decide not to do it.

Im gonna pour a drink when Malding Faggotry inevitably kills himself. In fact, I'm gonna buy a bottle and label it specifically, "Drink this when Malding Faggotry commits suicide."

That bottle is gonna sit there forever.

You're forgetting that he is a complete narcissist, and narcissists rarely kill themselves. The only time they do is when their ego is injured badly enough that they can't cope anymore. And, honestly, I don't see that happening unless a compounding factor of a twitch perma ban combined with his father starting to openly shit on him.

 

[Fat Nigga Fella]

Mald vindicated Yandere dev coding skills and work ethic, the only line Mald still has to cross to outgun him is chasing after minors in his audience.

Honestly, I think that will never happen, unless Shaye goes rogue and leak some degenerate shit, I think if Jason being a pedo was a thing, it would have already happened at this point.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I'm wrong.

 

[True Boss of this Gym]

Is there an apology form I can fill for slandering yandere dev's coding skills?

Congratulations, you've apologized to Yandev.

You may continue slandering both his and Mald's code anyway.

 

[Deus Exica]

Are you telling me serial liar, manipulator, social engineer, narcissist, and homosexual Pirate Software would manipulate Twitch's system and lie to his audience for personal gain?

I am SHOCKED! Shocked, I say!

 

[Forklift Certified]

What? There is a problem with your own paid mods buying subs in the dozens?

Fuck me I'm touching grass for 2 days and+20 pages on KF... Anyway while I catching up, this replay triggered my autist alarm so I had to respond feel free to autis or late me...

So the problem what mald done in his hype train is exactly what crypto bros doing with their shitcoins, namely "sock pupeting"



"Socks pupeting" is basically chronos putting his found in one pocket (his own) to an other (his affiliate in this case) creating an inflated value ( in this case hype train lvl)... why it's a scam may you ask ?

Because longer hype train means more "fear of missing out" sucker gifting subs and more sucker means bigger payday... Mald self reportedly splitted the train revenue among the moderators... So Chronos allegedly 82% return + the bonus form an elongated hype train means net monetary gain from a deceiving practice...

 

[SlyVMan]

Ross is live with The Act Man, notable gaming commentator.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=CnRXpP0guXo

I would laugh if this got more viewers watching it than Maldy's stream.

 

[Maeis]

Fuck me I'm touching grass for 2 days and+20 pages on KF... Anyway while I catching up, this replay triggered my autist alarm so I had to respond feel free to autis or late me...

So the problem what mald done in his hype train is exactly what crypto bros doing with their shitcoins, namely "sock pupeting"



"Socks pupeting" is basically chronos putting his found in one pocket (his own) to an other (his affiliate in this case) creating an inflated value ( in this case hype train lvl)... why it's a scam may you ask ?

Because longer hype train means more "fear of missing out" sucker gifting subs and more sucker means bigger payday... Mald self reportedly splitted the train revenue among the moderators... So Chronos allegedly 82% return + the bonus form an elongated hype train means net monetary gain from a deceiving practice...

This isn't even that complicated, it's fraudulent representation of value. I don't actually get why people are so obsessed with hype trains when it's just giving money to someone, but then I don't watch all that much twitch, mainly one streamer.

 

[Mio Naganohara]

He's still banning tons of people for everything from valid criticism to simply asking what he is doing.


Banned for not knowing that he was configuring, not coding

of course his chat is often full of a bunch of retards spamming ferret ass emotes

"Yeah dont mind my ferret ass and ahegao emotes, I'm a totally normal super1337haxorman"

Also he just bragged that he made a puzzle in which it is possible to softlock yourself. Don't most softlock situations come from oversight? Like, its not something a dev would want to intentionally put into their game to waste the time of the players?
(Sorry for lack of video and banned messages, am mobilefagging right now)

Edit: Chatter asked "is the blockgame server gonna take a decade to develop?"
Mald reads it out loud and then suddenly realizes, "oh, oh is this what youre doing now? Flush." *ban*