🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[cigint]

A crosspost from the Vtuber thread, but a depressed anime nurse with big tits took time to shit on mald on his birthday and it has made me laugh so hard.

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/threads/...youtubers-vtubers-chuubas.69525/post-22013841

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jmWijN6sk8c:3539It's just a short section of the stream so I don't really know if its possible to archive JUST that part so my apologies for not archiving it.

I'll play itogi's advocate. Video downscaled to potato because who cares.

 

[Roachbound]

I need the VOD of his 2025 hype train attempt on april fools(april 1st), does anyone have that? I think there is very damning stuff in that vod that mald accidentally showed onscreen, making him delete it instantly afterwards.

 

[Stickplant]

Jason's dad code is better than his

View attachment 7655749

View attachment 7655774

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

 

[MercuryMan]

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

Some on the side is much more than someone who barely writes code at the last day of every month.
The difference is night and day.

 

[米津玄師]

he HITS IT OUT OF THE PARK for normies

He's like a perfect storm of hateable traits for normies. This has been elucidated upon way better earlier in the thread, but so far (and as far as I've picked up from this thread), he has:

• Displayed narcissistic tendencies
• Lied about his competence while being completely incompetent at what he does for a living
• Fucked up other streamers'/influencers' livelihoods (mana gem incident and SKG drama)
• Refused to own up to the above mistakes and keeps doubling down
• Never stopped bringing up how his dad works at Blizzard or how he's "in the know" with other people at Blizzard
• Spent 8 years developing a shitty game with nothing to show for it and keeps making excuses for his lack of progress
• Emotionally manipulative towards his pooner wife (big no-no for the left)
• Coerced a much younger person into furry ERP sex with him
• For those who know the ferret lore, he preaches animal love while killing animals out of carelessness behind the scenes

Adding all of that up, he's narcissistic, prone to lying and bragging, uncooperative, unapologetic, nepotistic, procrastinating, manipulative, sexually deviant, and abusive to loved ones and animals. Excluding the last one (abusive to animals), these are all common personality traits that almost everyone in the world has encountered once in their lives. Most of the time, you'll encounter only a couple of these traits in others. Hell, some of the people hating him might have those traits themselves. And with Mald, all of them are present at the same time, while he consistently refuses to apologize. Look through any sloptuber video and the point that they bring up most often with Mald is that he quintuples down on everything. That's why half-assed apology videos are constantly made fun of. We all want to see the bad guy apologize.

Personally—you can all hit me with your scouter reactions for this—but I think the fact that he hasn't done anything with his game in eight years would hit the hardest for a lot of people (myself included) 'cause there's a lot of people who are like that. Always putting your shit on the backburner or being stuck in a certain point in your life because of depression, lack of motivation, laziness and bad work ethic that you're aware of but have trouble overcoming, etc. For those people, it's a very grim reminder of what people like this can end up becoming as Mald is almost 40 and has done nothing except lie, grift, and take advantage of people who know nothing about him. But, as we all know, although Mald is lazy as fuck, he's (probably) not depressed or unmotivated. So take those sympathetic motivations away and you're just left with a lazy slob who realized that keeping your game forever in early access makes more money than actually releasing it.

But it's not just that he's hateable on a personal level for a lot people; it's the fact that he's also a very acceptable target to hate/laugh at. He can be a streamer who's a big whiny nepo baby who shoves garden gnomes up his asshole and he'd pass under everyone's radar. But add "spent 8 years developing a game with less progress than Yandere Sim" and "bullied the underdog (Ross/SKG)" (while adding a pinch of "never apologizes ever") and that's a guaranteed recipe for becoming Lolcow of the Year.

TL;DR: Mald isn't just a faggot but he's an exceptional breed of superfaggot with almost cherry-picked levels of commonly-hateable traits.

 

[A T.V. Hating Mutant]

And he admitted that he was never a coder and just learned some of it on the side and would have to learn GameMaker from scratch. Which he did, and this is where he is at now.

I don't know if he did this to spite Jason but he sure as hell is making him look even worse every single time he actually works on his game - on stream even.

It might sound stupid, but depending on the timeline of Joeyray picking up Gamemaker and learning how to use it, that might actually be the reason he didn't call his dad for his birthday.

Narcissists really are that petty. "He's copying me and doing better at it. I hate him! "

Dude this stupid nigger just said on stream that it would be masturbatory to update to GML 2.0 because the game can "run on a smart fridge", and doesn't need a performance boost. This is the same guy who defended his array because it's "20% faster".

1.x. jason already updated heartbound to gamemaker 2.0 a while ago.

Honestly I thought I was losing my mind for a second.

Does this guy not remember fucking saying this shit, or does he know most people in his chat probably never even played his dogshit game, and are only there because dad never came back with the milk?

 

[Mr. Johnson]

At 420 days, Jason is the 6th fastest individual cow to hit 1000 pages. He comes in behind DSP (112 days), Keffals (147), emoboyfucker69 (290), Brianna Wu (321), and The Bossman (32. He managed to beat some heavy hitters like Nick Fuentes (457), Russel Greer (463), Jonathan Yaniv (48, Dobson (542), and Chantal (666), and he's surpassed his longtime role model: YandereDev (683).

I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:

• Karl Jobst - 5K replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
• Pippa - 3K replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
• AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
• r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
• Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
• IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
• Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
• Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
• Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
• Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
• Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023

Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.

I've mostly been a lurker on kf, but why don't people list the Bella Janke thread in these examples? Because it was a special case of concentrated godspeed autism related to CWC?

 

[A ghoul teaching his son]

20 minutes in you can see Dr. K struggling to hold back. He knew almost immediately.

Even back during his first interview with Jason, where Jason still kept his wholesome chungus persona, I think Dr. K mentions there's something off. It's been a while since I saw it, and from memory there's a lot of talk about perceptions and stuff like that. Definitely not as fun as the most recent one so I won't be rewatching it soon.

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

But it's not just that he's hateable on a personal level for a lot people; it's the fact that he's also a very acceptable target to hate/laugh at. He can be a streamer who's a big whiny nepo baby who shoves garden gnomes up his asshole and he'd pass under everyone's radar. But add "spent 8 years developing a game with less progress than Yandere Sim" and "bullied the underdog (Ross/SKG)" (while adding a pinch of "never apologizes ever") and that's a guaranteed recipe for becoming Lolcow of the Year.

TL;DR: Mald isn't just a faggot but he's an exceptional breed of superfaggot with almost cherry-picked levels of commonly-hateable traits.

He also had, even if not for long, a relatively high degree of normie acceptance and trust, especially compared to a typical lolcow. That adds to the downfall and backfire power, and of course our enjoyment.

 

[Burnt Effigy]

literally any dedicated gpu made after 2004 and any integrated gpu made after 2010 (probably even earlier, i remember i managed to run hotline miami 2 on a laptop with an integrated gpu released before "intel hd integrated graphics" were even a thing) can build shaders. the fixed function pipeline way of drawing shit to the screen was effectively abandoned in ~2004 with directx 9 and above (yet it still works and it is usable for legacy reasons).

The last gpu without Vertex shaders from Intel was the GMA X3000, released in 2006. It came in chipsets associated with Pentium D, and Core 2 Duo.

The last CPU with igpu support for non-Vertex-shaded gpus was the Pentium 4, which was out of sale in 2008.

When heartbound started, it would have been at least 8 years since the last sale of a new Pentium 4 system, and by the time of early access (late December 2018 ) it would have been 10.

And, remember, that's for vertex shaders. Pixel shaders were supported as far as 2000, and Intels's last non-pixel-shaded gpu was back in 2002, with the GMA 900.

Quite literally zero excuse.

 

[Brain Problems]

TL;DR: Mald isn't just a faggot but he's an exceptional breed of superfaggot with almost cherry-picked levels of commonly-hateable traits.

That's a good write-up but I think to reduce it even further/make it more relatable: we all know someone like JayJay. We've all been around some smart ass fucking nerd cunt who you instinctively want to just slap and combined with his stupid voice, dumb hair, retarded game, and stance on SKG you've got yourself the creme-de-la-creme of easy hates out.

 

[Gas Snake]

As much as I find all the endless coding talk in this thread autistic, boring and gay, I also know deep-down that code-trashing is 100% the most mentally damaging attack vector to hit Jason with. His faux-expertise is the foundation that his bullshit castle rests on.

Godspeed, code autists. Pick the bones clean.

 

[DefinitelyNotMe]

i kinda love the fact that Maldy deleted the VOD when he criticized SKG so everyone who wants to talk about it have to use the clip from Ross' video with all the disappointed "noooo..." from Ross
shit makes me smile every time

 

[Freezing Blue Gnu]

I need the VOD of his 2025 hype train attempt on april fools(april 1st), does anyone have that? I think there is very damning stuff in that vod that mald accidentally showed onscreen, making him delete it instantly afterwards.

He probably deleted it out of pure embarassment. He'd been promising since Vedal broke the record that he'd take it back on April 1st, and leaving the failed attempt up would have been a constant reminder that he failed.

 

[Mad_Dog]

That's a good write-up but I think to reduce it even further/make it more relatable: we all know someone like JayJay. We've all been around some smart ass fucking nerd cunt who you instinctively want to just slap and combined with his stupid voice, dumb hair, retarded game, and stance on SKG you've got yourself the creme-de-la-creme of easy hates out.

He's the archetypal "Being smart is my entire identity" type, even though he's not that smart, and nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is. That's why he's never wrong and always finds a way to be "technically" right. He uses debate tactics to always appear correct despite being wrong, which is ultimately a mix of intellectualization and deflection, stemming from a need to protect his ego and self-image.

As you've noticed, he argues semantics, redirects blame, and employs rhetorical strategies to dodge responsibility. Psychologically, I think this might be a typical reaction to his own insecurity, fear of vulnerability, and a need to control how others perceive him.

Some people use humor to deflect accountability, which he tries to do sometimes, but he prefers his more aggressive "debate tactic" approach to dominate and manipulate the narrative. He thinks the consequences of admitting fault will lead to a loss of status or credibility, but the opposite would happen, people would respect him more.

If you've ever seen his father on stream, you can see where this comes from. It's a minor example but exemplifies Thor's behavior perfectly:

The dad made an insignificant mistake but externalizes the blame, even if it is just a joke. If you assume this is common behavior on his part, based on how quickly he comes up with the excuse for his minor failure, it's not much of a stretch to think that Thor naturally picked up on this pattern and found success with it, eventually trapping himself into this easy "winning strategy."

I know a self-diagnosed "smart person" whose life is in complete shambles because he's autistic as hell and won't admit it. From his perspective, everything is beneath him because he values intellect as the highest possible stat, so he's effectively soft-locked his life. Since he's already at the top of the mountain of life in his mind, he no longer does anything. He thinks he's won the game and is basically waiting for death.

He refuses to pass the mensa test for fear of failure and having to deal with the bleak reality that, no, he's not as smart as he thinks he is. He even refuses to play simple games with kids in case he loses. And I thought my life was depressing...

Anyway, I remember watching a video where very successful jew explained how he never told his objectively gifted child he was smart and never congratulated his intellect. Instead, he only valued and praised his son's hard work. That son became wildly successful in life.

Be humble, work hard. Therein lies the winning combo.

"Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him." – Proverbs 26:12

 

[kiwifarms net]

The dad made an insignificant mistake but externalizes the blame, even if it is just a joke. If you assume this is common behavior on his part, based on how quickly he comes up with the excuse for his minor failure, it's not much of a stretch to think that Thor naturally picked up on this pattern and found success with it, eventually trapping himself into this easy "winning strategy."

I believe narcissism is a much worse problem caused by more than just a slightly cowardly dad. I blame Malding's literally flat brain for the majority of his retardation, though I do accept that his cowardly nurture absolutely did not help his flatbrain nature. I'm pretty sure that narcissism can be genetic - who knows which side passed it down to him - though I'd be delighted to be informed otherwise.

 

[Kiislova]

Karl Jobst

He's not even in the same league as Idubbbz or Mald. He's a very minor lolcow in comparison. LOTY has to fall into eitheor the other 2.

so, he's either lying or stupid enough to actually believe what he's saying here.
- if he's lying, it again exposes just how fucking stupid he is and how little idea he has about his own game and the game engine it uses. not surprising, but still funny and noteworthy.
- if he's not lying, he's delusional enough to think that his pixel by pixel algorithm runs faster than doing this with a shader, which is basically a hard requirement of his own fucking game. (keep in mind, the gpu is literally made for pixel by pixel calculations)

He just makes shit up as he goes. He doesn't do shaders because he can't write one, it takes some unusual way of thinking about programs that "programming 101" can't teach, just the same way he doesn't use SSE on his highly optimized raytracing code, and SSE is *ancient* in comparison to shaders.

I also know deep-down that code-trashing is 100% the most mentally damaging attack vector to hit Jason with. His faux-expertise is the foundation that his bullshit castle rests on.

Even a bottom of the barrel jeet can do better code than Jason.

 

[Aurellia Spaghettellia]

I also know deep-down that code-trashing is 100% the most mentally damaging attack vector to hit Jason with.
His faux-expertise is the foundation that his bullshit castle rests on.

An issue is that even if you destroy the bullshit castle, he'll try to insta-build another fake one using other people's work. It's his main move. Press "B" to Build Bullshit.
And while I surely hope the code-trashing hurts him, I think dismantling his game maker/master/expert might hurt even more.

So that made me wonder.
Out of his 16 game jams and years of streaming GO mAkE gAyMEs!1, how many quality projects from the community went on to do well?

I COULD BE WRONG (I just did some quick research), but I think these were the top 3 projects ever, all quite recent:



Maybe I'm being too demanding; it's a harsh industry, and the process can be productive even if the end result doesn't do well. But it feels underwhelming.

I bet Mald would have loved to net some bright/lucky titles to leech on. I'm glad there aren't.

 

[Ducks Sorted in a Row]

The last gpu without Vertex shaders from Intel was the GMA X3000, released in 2006. It came in chipsets associated with Pentium D, and Core 2 Duo.

The last CPU with igpu support for non-Vertex-shaded gpus was the Pentium 4, which was out of sale in 2008.

When heartbound started, it would have been at least 8 years since the last sale of a new Pentium 4 system, and by the time of early access (late December 2018 ) it would have been 10.

And, remember, that's for vertex shaders. Pixel shaders were supported as far as 2000, and Intels's last non-pixel-shaded gpu was back in 2002, with the GMA 900.

Quite literally zero excuse.

the kicker is that he's already using pixel shaders, he's just using the built in GMS ones. it's just another shitty excuse to not know wtf he's doing.

y'know with all the dogpiling that's been going on lately i almost feel bad for mald. sure he's an insufferable ass and only seems to get worse and worse and has bloomed into a fully fledged lolcow but man it is brutal just logging into youtube or xitter and seeing another 100k+ view video ripping him a new one almost every day for well over a week now. i can't imagine being him.

 

[my penis is on fire]

I still think Lolcow of the Year should be split into two divisions so that the brightest up-and-coming stars don't have to directly compete with the established legends. Whether you call them "pro" and "semi-pro", "absolute legends" and "rising stars", "major league" and "minor league", or "lolcow of the year" and "lolcalf of the year" doesn't really matter.

That's basically what they're doing this year, Thor is one of the four nominees for Lolcow of the Year, Jobst is nominated for Rookie of the Year, and all the Emeritus candidates have their own vote. The Julays discussion thread was started earlier than usual to account for cows who had happenings early in the year that would have otherwise been forgotten by December.