🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

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Which will happen first?

  • Jason Hall finishes developing his game

    Votes: 38 0.7%

  • YandereDev finishes developing his game

    Votes: 597 10.6%

  • Grummz finishes developing his game

    Votes: 148 2.6%

  • Chris Roberts finishes developing his game

    Votes: 170 3.0%

  • Cold fusion

    Votes: 2,084 37.1%

  • The inevitable heat death of the universe

    Votes: 2,576 45.9%
  • Total voters
    5,613
Mettaur said:
you don't need a degree to know the smug asshole saying "everyone else is wrong I'm the only correct one" is full of shit.
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It takes a VERY well versed person to even manage to get a single crack into it. Doctor k managed that, but didn't manage to actually get jason to actually recognize it as something beneficial and thus jason patched it up and went with his old ways.
 


He 100% took some of Shaye's prescription testosterone supplements to alter his voice. And these old clips really drive home the fact that the things he says have always been these same kind of inane Redditisms, but the voice change just hypnotizes people.
 
So I just saw this on a video UNRELATED to Mald in any way shape or form. Just a video of a solo indie dev talking about progress on his passion project.

1752830584010.webp


 
Gish said:
Getting back on topic, I have a feeling the only reason Maldy wants to do some ARG related bullshit with Heartbound is because in his endless pursuit to skinwalk as Toby Fox, he wants to try and ape the Spamton Sweepstake stuff Toby did for Deltarune. The key difference being that Toby had a decent budget and team, and the event had the gimmick of being able to find sneak peeks for future Deltarune stuff on the website. Of course nobody gives a shit about Heartbound’s future updates (especially not Mald with how glacial his progress working on it is), so whatever he shits out, if anything, will be dead on arrival.

Feel free to give me late stickers if someone already pointed this out earlier.
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Thats probably a big part, also its easier for him to sit in ferret rape dunegon and think of "cleaver" ways to do ARG than sit down and code, his problem is that the hype is long dead, last spike in popularity HB got was most likely thanks to Harmfull buying and playing it. If Jason were smart enough to do ARG 7-6 years ago, sure, it would probably work great, but you can't update your game/arg once every 2years and expect hype to stay at high lvl, he shitted on Coding Hesus for using profound name, yet in his mind im sure he sees himself on similar lvl.
 
late react me if someone already mentioned this but i've just noticed yet another retarded claim of his relating to his dogshit ""raytracing"" lighting algorithm
1752830741489.webp

- gamemaker 2.0+ hard requires your system to be able to compile shaders, as far as i can tell they flat out dropped the option that enabled cpu vertex processing from gamemaker 1.x. jason already updated heartbound to gamemaker 2.0 a while ago.
- if your computer can't compile shaders, you can't even run windows 10, which is a hard dependency of steam, the only storefront where he actively distributes his game (he abandoned every other platform as soon as he released on steam and gave everyone that bought on itch/whatever else a steam key).
- literally any dedicated gpu made after 2004 and any integrated gpu made after 2010 (probably even earlier, i remember i managed to run hotline miami 2 on a laptop with an integrated gpu released before "intel hd integrated graphics" were even a thing) can build shaders. the fixed function pipeline way of drawing shit to the screen was effectively abandoned in ~2004 with directx 9 and above (yet it still works and it is usable for legacy reasons).

so, he's either lying or stupid enough to actually believe what he's saying here.
- if he's lying, it again exposes just how fucking stupid he is and how little idea he has about his own game and the game engine it uses. not surprising, but still funny and noteworthy.
- if he's not lying, he's delusional enough to think that his pixel by pixel algorithm runs faster than doing this with a shader, which is basically a hard requirement of his own fucking game. (keep in mind, the gpu is literally made for pixel by pixel calculations)

and of course he mentions the POOR POOR BRAZILIANS that totally exist and don't have 5 bucks for a used second hand GPU that can compile shaders but somehow have enough money to buy his dogshit undertale clone.
 
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Aurellia Spaghettellia said:
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Imagine being such a filthy degenerate that when you have dog plushies made to promote your shit game, you make sure the design includes a puckered butthole.

30+GameOvers said:
I got some bad news, the voting is rigged. There is a certain Minnesota non-practicing lawyer that is going to win, the best I see Thor doing is winning the Internet Famous category.
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I still think Lolcow of the Year should be split into two divisions so that the brightest up-and-coming stars don't have to directly compete with the established legends. Whether you call them "pro" and "semi-pro", "absolute legends" and "rising stars", "major league" and "minor league", or "lolcow of the year" and "lolcalf of the year" doesn't really matter.
 
AN/ALR56 said:
, or CWC in terms of sexual shit for example,
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I dunno, I think there's a dark hole with this guy on sexual shit.
I guess people would have come out about it after SKG if so unless they're no longer with us.
But man I get the feeling he's done some nasty things.

30+GameOvers said:
I got some bad news, the voting is rigged. There is a certain Minnesota non-practicing lawyer that is going to win, the best I see Thor doing is winning the Internet Famous category.
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I dunno Nick would need the footage to come out this year. I think that's gonna be slogged through the courts.
And I say this as a person who really thought we were gonna have Nick having the Hat Trick.
 
TrainWreckWatcher said:
I dunno Nick would need the footage to come out this year. I think that's gonna be slogged through the courts.
And I say this as a person who really thought we were gonna have Nick having the Hat Trick.
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Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.
 
I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:
  • Karl Jobst - 5k replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
  • Pippa - 3k replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
  • AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
  • r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
  • Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
  • IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
  • Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
  • Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
  • Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
  • Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
  • Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023
Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.
 
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Unimaginative Username said:
Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.
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It's really a race between who can destroy themselves the fastest while Bossman jack does crack and gambles in the background.
 
Disastrously Dumb said:
Have there been anything about Chronos?
the head moderator or moderator of Pirate Software
the guy who is at his beck and call to "sue" everyone he dislikes,
the british copyright lawyer.
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That's the problem with Maldo's walking talking fleshlight. He's so fucking boring that everyone forgets him. Dude is a shitter unworthy of his own thread. He's relegated to being a sidepiece in Maldo's life forever (always the bridesmaid...).

Which is unfortunate for him, because I think he's given up his job as a 'legal aid' in the citizen's advice bureau and became a full time paid mod for the Maldster. So when that ship sinks, he's going down on it like a Wop immigrant on the Titanic.

Looks like he's also trying his hand at full time streaming (youtube and twitch), mirroring his master for similiar time periods. That's around 11 hours, during the normal UK working day which kind of backs up him handing in his notice/getting fired, or he's spending his vacation time streaming to 10 people instead of booking a holiday to Spain like every other normal fucking person.

Khronsvii_Live_Page_Youtube_07182025.webp Khronsvii_Videos_Page_Twitch_07182025.webp

I hope, for his own sake, he at least works part-time irl, cos his audience appears to be veiwer crumbs that Maldo graciously flicked off his own table. Khronos here is real grateful for this benevolance and shows how much he loves his master in subtle ways like this:

Khronsvii_Starting_Soon_Slide_Twitch_07182025.webp

At this point, the guy is memeing on himself.

Meanwhile in Maldoland: Men wanna fuck him, Women want to BE him!

Preserve tube failed me...
 
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kiwifarms net said:
And the extra funny part is that the textbox portrait assets never needed the artist to manually add 30px top padding, 10px bottom padding. If Jason had any fucking idea of how to code UI, he could just align every portrait himself and never ever have to annoy the artist about it. Absolutely worthless little man he is, as always
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This is the insane part about the padding. Shit man you should be able to do custom padding for any of these portraits if this dumbfuck doesn't have an actual style guide. I can't believe his fans found this amusing this is so fucking inept on his part.
 
Rockzo said:
I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:
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We shouldnt't even look at the number of posts or pages as a metric. Number of views per capita instead, or maybe Null can track outgoing referrals and do some kind of sticker count math magic. Stressing the number of posts just generates garbage replies that drowns out content; we've just had over a page of replies that essentially just say "yay 1000 pages".

You the reader are exempt of course, your reply was great.
 
Massive Retard said:
i've just noticed yet another retarded claim of his relating to his dogshit ""raytracing"" lighting algorithm
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The CLAIM ITSELF he made is late, but your insight is not. Honestly his weird ass fucking claim about being usable for obscure shit PC's who somehow can handle thousands of checks but NOT run shaders I kinda shrugged off but I suppose I could fucking believe this (im not super tech literate mind you), but this does make this look way dumber, since it doesn't even accomplish its goal whatsoever.

And I can't help but point to the intravenous comparison again as far as lighting goes, as this was brought up before his thread even had 100 pages. that even for "any" raytraced lighting, its pretty pathetic.

I'm also realizing now, early in the thread I GUESSED at a way he did it with a lower gamma shadow sprite that NORMALLY blends into the shadows, but shows up in the light section because of the gamma difference....and I just realized I, a man with literally no programming skills, probably suggested a MORE EFFICIENT shadow method for that, which would leave 0 discernible difference.

Unimaginative Username said:
Even if the bodycam footage isn't released this year, there's still plenty of time for him to murder Aaron Imholte and/or his own family and try to use "Aaron ate my goo" as his defense. The rate at which he's losing any and all inhibitions against self-destruction is impressive, though Mald might actually be beating him on that front at the rate he's actively banning his sycophantic audience for not being sycophantic enough.
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you aren't wrong, but I'm fucking sick of him winning. Nick rekieta fucked his life up, what else is new.

I ALMOST wish there was a degree of julays affirmative action, like previous year winners face a voting DISADVANTAGE, like 25% less votes counted, so they can still WIN, but nick winning year after year (probably) wont happen. I know the lifetime achievment awards helped, but its a shame when just 1 cow owns the spotlight too much.

I also hope voters really consider the normie hate, as crazy as nick is, most don't know him, less knew about his fall, or care. I pray the voters really consider that, because that really is special.

Rockzo said:
I was taking a look at the stats for this thread on the subforum: 20k replies, +4M views. To put this in comparison:
  • Karl Jobst - 5K replies, 891K views. Thread created: April 7, 2025
  • Pippa - 3K replies, 542K views. Thread created: July 22, 2024
  • AVGN - 10k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Dec 31, 2018
  • r/livestreamfail - 5k replies, 902k views. Thread created: July 24, 2023
  • Mr Beast - 3k replies, 439k views. Thread created: July 26, 2024
  • IP2 community - 21k replies, 3M views. Thread created: Dec 2, 2020
  • Linus Tech Tips - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: May 12, 2022
  • Wings of Redemption - 12k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Oct 28, 2014
  • Jim Sterling - 30k replies, 6M views. Thread created: Nov 22, 2016
  • Youtube commentary - 9k replies, 2M views. Thread created: Mar 1, 2021
  • Fish Tank - 81k replies, 10M views. Thread created: April 19, 2023
Jason's thread growth has been amazing for this year. Not only is he beating anything made in the past few years, he's also pass community threads like IP2 and youtube commentary. He's also rivaling old threads like Wings and Sterling.
4 million views too also suggests a higher number than average people who've viewed the thread but not commented in it.
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This too. IRONICALLY ENOUGH, hes a lot like the crew, the game which kicked all this in motion.

Remember the part where ross says the crew is mediocre BS EXCEPT for the scale, which is astronomical????


I feel like some could say this applies to mald to a degree. Hes NOT the most insane lolcow, or the most disgusting, Nor does he constantly make new content which is insane like bossman jack (IM GONNA FUCK A DUDE) but he HITS IT OUT OF THE PARK for normies and kiwi farms being roughly on the same page.
 
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