DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Can you imagine DSP sharing in an AA meeting about how alcohol has affected his life? Everyone that had to listen to him would be off the wagon that same day... thinking about the DSP / AA tangent, imagine trying to be DSP's sponsor, you don't even have to worry about steps #2-12, getting him to clear #1 is nigh impossible...

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable

How would you even approach getting DSP to admit anything? He's admitted some shit to PPP (DSP wishes his last name started with a P so these were his initials) but powerless over getting a real ID isn't the same as alcohol, there's a negative stigma to being a drunkard.

"I see we have a new member joining up, would you like to share your story with the group?"

"Hello, my name is Phil Burnell. I'm an on-demand content creator with a 16 year legacy who was the 4th best SF2T player in the country and I invented Let's Play's. Before I begin I should explain that there's a lot of mentally ill shitheads on the internet who make up slander about me, who I would totally sue if I had the money. Anyway, my story is thus. It all began when I was fired from my job at the helicopter company FOR NO REASON......."

 

[marlimar]

"I see we have a new member joining up, would you like to share your story with the group?"

"Hello, my name is Phil Burnell. I'm an on-demand content creator with a 16 year legacy who was the 4th best SF2T player in the country and I invented Let's Play's. Before I begin I should explain that there's a lot of mentally ill shitheads on the internet who make up slander about me, who I would totally sue if I had the money. Anyway, my story is thus. It all began when I was fired from my job at the helicopter company FOR NO REASON......."

Hi Phil...

"I see we have a new member joining up, would you like to share your story with the group?"

"Hello, my name is Phil Burnell. I'm an on-demand content creator with a 16 year legacy who was the 4th best SF2T player in the country and I invented Let's Play's. Before I begin I should explain that there's a lot of mentally ill shitheads on the internet who make up slander about me, who I would totally sue if I had the money. Anyway, my story is thus. It all began when I was fired from my job at the helicopter company FOR NO REASON......."

Thanks for sharing all that Phil, we're out of time, please hold your neighbor's hand as we say the serenity prayer... IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!


The morbid part is that DSP wouldn't be close to the most pathetic person in an AA meeting, those fuckers are depressing.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

It is very much possible he isn't an alcoholic, I think people misunderstand (because it's not taught correctly and it's not part of common knowledge let's be honest) and think that when someone says he isn't an alcoholic that they mean that he doesn't drink a lot. He absolutely is a problem drinker and I don't think anyone disputes that

I honestly did not know the difference. So, yes, Phil isn't an alcoholic. We see him daily not needing to drink for many hours. Phil can control his drinking. But, we have tangible proof he has a drinking problem (unless he's buying prepaid cards for mobile games at Total Wine, which is just another addiction he has).

It feels like we're getting into Burnell semantics here, though.

 

[Jang Joo]

Gentlemen. Because of the Metokur commentary video someone posted a few pages back I decided to watch the TIHYDP of that playthrough. (https://youtu.be/lio4AMdGJLw)

I believe I've witnessed what could be the most Phil moment of all time, the clip to end all clips, the alpha and the omega of Philstory.
Phil is gifted a rocket launcher and, not 10 seconds later, aims at the ground and shoots himself.
My sides are on their way to join the Voyagers in the lonely outskirts of our solar system.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

I honestly did not know the difference. So, yes, Phil isn't an alcoholic. We see him daily not needing to drink for many hours. Phil can control his drinking. But, we have tangible proof he has a drinking problem (unless he's buying prepaid cards for mobile games at Total Wine, which is just another addiction he has).

It feels like we're getting into Burnell semantics here, though.

That's the kicker alcoholism is such a broad term with many degrees and it affects people radically different, I've known people on extremes of functional who would kill a liter and a half bottle of jack daniels every weekend by cutting it down with coca cola and I've known people so far gone they had wet brain and if you know what that is it's pretty much a death sentence I mean this person was drinking a couple bottles of wine a day from the moment they woke up, I see Piggy more as a binger meaning he has to pack in a few hours of drinking into an hour for his gin tweets and this is every other day.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Nobody even insulted him about the cologne idea among detractors. We just said it's a stupid idea because it obviously is. Phil doesn't go anywhere. He's never pulled women other than 2 weird fangirls. His audience doesn't care about cologne.

He's pissed everyone just forgot about it and there was no drama over it so he's trying to create some.

What proof is there that Panda is pregnant?

She's not with Phail.

Can you imagine DSP sharing in an AA meeting about how alcohol has affected his life?

It would just be another stream about da trollz and how they are making it up that he's an alcoholic.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

unless he's buying prepaid cards for mobile games at Total Wine, which is just another addiction he has

why is there speculation about this, is it a tax thing? He demonstrated on stream that he just buys directly from his card/paypal/whatever.

 

[Book Thief]

Been watching 0utsyder's new TIHYDP on Mario Kart. What's fascinating to me is that Phil's comments about MK's interplay with casual and competitive elements demonstrate his inability to comprehend a game that has competitive elements, but isn't really meant to be taken that seriously. Like, he gets really close to reaching the desired conclusion, but idea just eludes him somehow. He's so catastrophically autistic that the only conclusion he can draw is that he has to be the best at a children's racing game.

Just watched some of Phil's most recent Mario Kart gameplay and the amount of times he says he couldn't see something is unbelievable, when you can see very clearly the brightly colored obstacle or item he drives into or gets hit by with ample warning and time to react. That's what you get for playing with your screen across the room I guess.

As someone who has to wear glasses to see clearly beyond a few inches, I've been taking note of all the sections where he claims to have been hit by "invisible objects," and rewatching them without my glasses. What I've found is that everything is still clearly visible, even if not readily recognizable. Even the bouncing Ice Flower balls were visible against the icy roads, showing up as bouncing teals blobs along a blurry cyan road. However, one section I believe Phil to be justified was the section where he flew across a gap and missed the giant glowing arrows pointing you in the right direction, since without them, I couldn't tell that they were arrows pointing where you were supposed to go until he got very close to them.

Now, I know Phil has poor eyesight, to the point that there's a famous story where Phil got pulled over by police and had to switch seats with Rambo because his license says he needs to wear corrective lenses, and he didn't have any at that point in time. I also know that he has sometimes been seen wearing glasses on his streams, but I have no idea if these are prescription lenses, or if they're something like the $20 reading glasses you can pick up at the grocery store which are typically dogshit for someone who needs a prescription. Has Phil ever provided an explanation as to why he doesn't regularly wear glasses while he streams? Or is it just a case of his 80's man-child ego thinking glasses are for nerds or something?

 

[Whaler]

because I'm curious about how in the world he imagined in his delusional grandoor brain this idea would be the next big revolutionary idea of content creation

He imagines it going the same way of his "closet cleaning vestival" marathon. People would show up, love it, and he make thousands of dollars and tell him how great of an idea it was and how they can't wait for the next one. He's a legend in his own mind, and is always mad when things don't go how he thinks they'll go in his head.

Just like his bad back, his supposed status as a "former alcoholic" was just a lie to get sympathy donos from dents or to avoid responsibility for his past bad behavior. He used it to avoid Jaha's wrath too. It's always about making himself into a victim so people around him will go easier on him.

Dude actually has a drinking problem. Nobody keeps that much Gin in their house or spends that much monthly at a liquer store because they don't drink. The dude throws out any food he doesn't like or won't eat but will keep alcohol he claims is awful and doesn't like around to drink.

why is there speculation about this, is it a tax thing? He demonstrated on stream that he just buys directly from his card/paypal/whatever.

That's his point. He's clearly buying a lot of alcohol at Total Wine.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

The morbid part is that DSP wouldn't be close to the most pathetic person in an AA meeting,

yes he would

 

[Elite Kipchak]

That's his point. He's clearly buying a lot of alcohol at Total Wine.

im not disagreeing with the guy, i mean in a more general sense. the same has been brought up with the exorbitant amount he spends at the pet store and grocery store in the bank leaks.

 

[Just Some Other Guy]

Or is it just a case of his 80's man-child ego thinking glasses are for nerds or something?

That's the assumption I make. Who knows how bad his eyesight really is going so long everyday having to lean in to see shit. Unless he's wearing contacts but idk, he seems to have trouble seeing a lot of stuff.

 

[woc_krava]

"I see we have a new member joining up, would you like to share your story with the group?"

"Hello, my name is Phil Burnell. I'm an on-demand content creator with a 16 year legacy who was the 4th best SF2T player in the country and I invented Let's Play's. Before I begin I should explain that there's a lot of mentally ill shitheads on the internet who make up slander about me, who I would totally sue if I had the money. Anyway, my story is thus. It all began when I was fired from my job at the helicopter company FOR NO REASON......."

The funniest part is that even this is several levels above Phil's current situation as it shows a level of humility he's incapable of.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

Unless he's wearing contacts

imagine if this lazy faggot ever wore contacts lmao. he'd absolutely sleep with them in for a month straight and then blame everyone but himself when he gets a nasty eye infection.

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

imagine if this lazy faggot ever wore contacts lmao. he'd absolutely sleep with them in for a month straight and then blame everyone but himself when he gets a nasty eye infection.

The lame brain doctor didnt email me every night to tell me to not sleep with them

 

[PenskeMaterial]

This faggot called the noise the aircon made 'blood curdling' and said he thought someone broke a window in his house.

Targeted detractor attack, dood.

 

[Comma]

He actually managed to talk about an air conditioner for almost 20 minutes straight... Imagine how uneventful the hermit-life has to be.

 

[Fapcop]

I’d suggest that Phil’s retarded spending isn’t caused by addiction per se, but by retardation. (I know! Very insightful!)

The guy has a future orientation of your average crack smoking nigger.

Anything further out than 24 hours? Welp, that’s future Phil’s problem! Which is why he spends money as soon as he gets it.

I’d like to remind everyone that Phil DOESNT EVEN HAVE SOCIAL SECURITY.

He’ll need to stream as a 70 year old if he wants a roof over his head and fast food slop in his belly.

Now anyone with even half a brain, would probably start flipping burgers OR WHATEVER one day a week, so he’ll at least qualify for social security one day. (Whatever will be left of it, that is.)

Being a starving 60 year old living on the streets? Meh, that’s future Phil’s problem.

(Though I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Phil doesn’t even realize he’s not eligible for SS. And when they tell him, he’ll just go “HUUUUNHN?! Ah been a BUSINESSOWNER for decades! What do you mean I can’t get Social Security!?”)

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

nothing like celebrating THE DAY OF AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE CALLED 4TH OF JULY yes, DSP said this today by watching a 43 year old throwing away shit while he begs for donos. also, now weens are going to pay him for booze reviews. he's just going to take your money and drink off stream. at least come up with a better troll attempts, glass tappers.
"you criticize me for anything? you don't want me succeed!" jfc nice talking down to your dents and weens. go throw him your money for him to eat some fast food.
LEAK PREVIEW OF HIS SONIC'S FOOD REVIEW FOR FRIDAY------>He's going to bitch about it and tell everyone how horrible his life is. also, give him money

He actually managed to talk about an air conditioner for almost 20 minutes straight... Imagine how uneventful the hermit-life has to be.

his contradictions always gets to me. one moment, he agrees that global warming exist. next, it doesn't. now, he admitted it with Washington summers being hot. he's brain dead.

 

[marlimar]

I’d suggest that Phil’s retarded spending isn’t caused by addiction per se, but by retardation. (I know! Very insightful!)

The guy has a future orientation of your average crack smoking nigger.

Anything further out than 24 hours? Welp, that’s future Phil’s problem! Which is why he spends money as soon as he gets it.

I’d like to remind everyone that Phil DOESNT EVEN HAVE SOCIAL SECURITY.

He’ll need to stream as a 70 year old if he wants a roof over his head and fast food slop in his belly.

Now anyone with even half a brain, would probably start flipping burgers OR WHATEVER one day a week, so he’ll at least qualify for social security one day. (Whatever will be left of it, that is.)

Being a starving 60 year old living on the streets? Meh, that’s future Phil’s problem.

(Though I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Phil doesn’t even realize he’s not eligible for SS. And when they tell him, he’ll just go “HUUUUNHN?! Ah been a BUSINESSOWNER for decades! What do you mean I can’t get Social Security!?”)

You don't have the option of not paying Social Security, it's part of your FICA tax withholdings, of which he is responsible for both halves of, as he is a sole proprietor. That's part of what his back taxes payment plan is paying.