💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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The bee just wants to get drunk instead of sniffing Rick's foul beer-battered greasy body.
 
The fuck is a reinforced motorcycle jacket? Is that like an extra extra fat guy motorcycle jacket, with a built in cummerbund girdle thing to compress and restrain your gut or something? They already make biker jackets pretty goddamned big, and they're plenty reinforced because leather be thick yo.

Is he bragging about the double paneled ones that protect against road rash like it's some kind of tough guy flex? Isn't that like bragging about wearing a helmet around 24x7 like a retard making you technically tougher in a fight? WTF even is this machismo shit?

Him posting that 14 beers at Chilis choose your own adventure cover is the kind of stuff that makes me circle back around to wondering if this is all some elaborate Kaufmanesque performance piece to some ends we cannot possibly yet fathom. It's way too on the nose, it's like a joke someone else would post mocking him, but there he is posting it himself.

Also brass knuckles are gay and cowardly. Posting about them like you have them and would use them in a fight, is some 14 year old 3edgy5u shit. Is he gonna post about his CIA wristwatch with the garrote wire in the crown next?
 
Prince Alexander said:
The fuck is a reinforced motorcycle jacket? Is that like an extra extra fat guy motorcycle jacket, with a built in cummerbund girdle thing to compress and restrain your gut or something? They already make biker jackets pretty goddamned big, and they're plenty reinforced because leather be thick yo.

Is he bragging about the double paneled ones that protect against road rash like it's some kind of tough guy flex? Isn't that like bragging about wearing a helmet around 24x7 like a retard making you technically tougher in a fight? WTF even is this machismo shit?

Him posting that 14 beers at Chilis choose your own adventure cover is the kind of stuff that makes me circle back around to wondering if this is all some elaborate Kaufmanesque performance piece to some ends we cannot possibly yet fathom. It's way too on the nose, it's like a joke someone else would post mocking him, but there he is posting it himself.

Also brass knuckles are gay and cowardly. Posting about them like you have them and would use them in a fight, is some 14 year old 3edgy5u shit. Is he gonna post about his CIA wristwatch with the garrote wire in the crown next?
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The real high tech motorcycle suits automatically inflate like an airbag when you hit the pavement. He doesn't need one of those though, his blubber works just as well.
 
The Taco Santo! said:
He's going to be an 800 number, briefly, before the coronary. Call it, and you get a Jeet threatening you with eternal incarceration. Does Ashy Jaqkie know what a big fan Pat is of the carceral system? Prison or his basement, either one grinds up young black men.
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The BMI number is going to be gnarly as fuck. Snackie Jaqkie's a close call to become another fatso. Fat is so fat, his fat could break all prison cells because he's FAT like how he consumes his niggeroni from the fresh pepperoni basement from Milwaukee. He's already Class III Obese, so it's just getting fatter there, stlaker child :tomlinson:
 
An automatic clown said:
"Pot supplier"
Further proof Patrick has never ever bought drugs and grew up extremely sheltered and anti social. No one says "pot supplier" you fat dope.
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No child. Patrick says it, and by weight he is at least 12 people. So at least 11 other people say it.
 
The following is commentary from FUCKING 1966:

"Kids are different today"
I hear every mother say
Mother needs something today
To calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill

She goes running for the shelter
Of her mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way
Gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today"
I hear every mother say
Cooking fresh food for her husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake
And she burns a frozen steak

And goes running for the shelter
Of her mother's little helper
And two help her on her way
Get her through her busy day

"Doctor, please
Some more of these"
Outside the door
She took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear every mother say
"They just don't appreciate that you get tired"
They're so hard to satisfy
You can tranquilize your mind

So go running for the shelter
Of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night
Help to minimize your plight

"Doctor, please
Some more of these"
Outside the door
She took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Life's just much too hard today"
I hear every mother say
The pursuit of happiness
Just seems a bore
And if you take more of those
You will get an overdose

No more running for the shelter
Of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way
Through your busy, dying day
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AirdropShitposts said:
Well, at least his followers will be spared his takes on those other topics.

edit: lmao
View attachment 7434026

Shit, if only anybody had ever made any backups of those lawsuits! Damn Musk outhinking everyone yet again!

"Did you file that lawsuit with the court yet?"
"We can't, sir, every time we go to print it Teslalawsuit.doc has been deleted!"
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Elon was like
Bash: 
sudo rm -rf lawsuits/{trump,elon}/*
 
Prince Alexander said:
Him posting that 14 beers at Chilis choose your own adventure cover is the kind of stuff that makes me circle back around to wondering if this is all some elaborate Kaufmanesque performance piece to some ends we cannot possibly yet fathom. It's way too on the nose, it's like a joke someone else would post mocking him, but there he is posting it himself.
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That’s an outlier of a theory, but it could be true.

He might have had some kind of avant-garde idea of a performance art as this unbelievable character followed by a novel series as a sequel of sorts.

Like “A confederacy of dunces” meets Borat meets Review.

This could easily have backfired though as while “Tiny Tim Christmas Carnage” is his cover story for the first novel about Patrick Tomlinson, the gluttonous Buffoon and sci fi author, the publishers who see this think it is fucking mental and nothing to do with Scrooge or whatever the crazy man is blathering about.

So he is now stuck in his method acting of this insane fat man character and he can’t drop the act until someone publishes it.
Kaufmanesque? Perhaps.

Kafkaesque? Certainly so!
 
Let's hope this performance doesn't end like Tiny Tim, Space Trainee, where the end scene is Pat (Tiny Tim) in a shed with hanging human corpses dressed out for meat, masturbating furiously in the gut dump.
 
reptile baht spaniard rid said:
lol i fucked up and posted this in the wrong thread, oh well
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Felony Thread Misidentification, stalker. This is no laughing matter. The CIA knows it's no laughing matter. They know you're going to enjoy prison.

Enjoy, uh, prison.

For real though, I think Patrick is a morbidly obese closeted homosexual. I bet he'd get a lot more dick in his holes the way he wants if he 1) moves into @Judge Holden neighborhood and 2) didn't have such a feminine figure, complete with big ol' titties. Turns out gay men take steps to not have sex with women.
 
Dean Pentel said:
I think Patrick is a morbidly obese closeted homosexual.
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I think this is pretty damn spot on, which is even more hilarious because he's in bed (literally!) with the side that doesn't give a fuck about closeted or not.

The only person keeping Ricky T in the closet is himself! he's too fat to get back out
 
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