The Cole Smithey Thread

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SigueSigueSpergnik said:
Speaking of original opinions: I fucking love this photo of Cole, largely because he doesn't know how much of a stereotype he is:

View attachment 6947562

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the douchebag (usually) American tourist who is attempting to show the enlightened Europeans just how much he's unlike other Americans. The dead giveaway: the Bernie Sanders T-shirt, as worn at the Cannes Film Festival in 2016.

The type has existed long before that, but these are the people who go to Europe and whine to everyone within earshot about how crap America is and how much better everything is in whatever country it is that they're currently visiting, thinking that this is absolutely the path to acceptance amongst the locals. The reality is that Europeans generally don't give a flying fuck, at least in the necks of the woods I've lived in. Sure, they may have a common like or dislike of specific political personalities and / or policies, but when you live in, say, Estonia, Bernie Sanders means jack-shit to your daily life because you don't live in America. It is a good way to bore everyone around you to death, however.

This is basically the easiest way to paint a target on yourself that says two things: one, I know nothing about the culture, customs, history, language, or people of the country I'm visiting, but I'm totes one of you guys because I'm such an Alternative American; two, mug me and take everything I have.

Don't be like Cole.
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He's Chris's brother.

You can't expect much.
 
AnOminous said:
I know it's a joke but even if you're full price it's something like $25-30 and there are tons of discounts you can get. I'd bet Cole has a membership too if he does that often.
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Right, but that wasn't the point. Related to it, sure, but not the point itself.

SigueSigueSpergnik said:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the douchebag (usually) American tourist who is attempting to show the enlightened Europeans just how much he's unlike other Americans. The dead giveaway: the Bernie Sanders T-shirt, as worn at the Cannes Film Festival in 2016.
Click to expand...

This was the point. Cannes was just the setting in which he chose to show off his enlightenment. It could just as easily have been a Calcutta slum; the point would still stand.

King Kiwi said:
He's Chris's brother.

You can't expect much.
Click to expand...

Believe me, I have absolutely zero expectations where any member of that family is concerned.
 
Terrorist said:
Cole is balling the fuck out at the Guggenheim on his rich wife’s money and the brokies ITT are absolutely seething. SAD!
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1739140791536.png
 
One good thing about Cole is you can’t really troll him, he doesn’t even entertain it.

I don’t think he’s ever publically mentioned his brother or his mom. Or told trolls to fuck off.

With the pure ego of Cole, he could have been a Patrick thomlinson and stalker childing everyone. But he has some self restraint.
 
SigueSigueSpergnik said:
Speaking of original opinions: I fucking love this photo of Cole, largely because he doesn't know how much of a stereotype he is:

View attachment 6947562
Click to expand...
I’ve seen this type of man a million times working at art museums I probably talked to cole without even knowing
08903248752 said:
There are a few more pictures of him in and around the Guggenheim wearing the exact same outfit:

View attachment 6934745
View attachment 6934751

I can't say for certain, but I speculate it's related to his walking tours:

View attachment 6934772
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ah, yeah a Guggie curator everything makes sense.
 
I was a Teenage “JA”-man said:
ah, yeah a Guggie curator everything makes sense.
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Don't believe he's a curator, at least not as far as anyone knows. His walking tour starts at the Met and ends at the Guggenheim, but he doesn't actually work for either museum.

The pictures of him inside the museum were mostly taken from events happening there for which he was hired to play Bossa Nova guitar, IIRC.
 
SigueSigueSpergnik said:
Speaking of original opinions: I fucking love this photo of Cole, largely because he doesn't know how much of a stereotype he is:

View attachment 6947562

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the douchebag (usually) American tourist who is attempting to show the enlightened Europeans just how much he's unlike other Americans. The dead giveaway: the Bernie Sanders T-shirt, as worn at the Cannes Film Festival in 2016.

The type has existed long before that, but these are the people who go to Europe and whine to everyone within earshot about how crap America is and how much better everything is in whatever country it is that they're currently visiting, thinking that this is absolutely the path to acceptance amongst the locals. The reality is that Europeans generally don't give a flying fuck, at least in the necks of the woods I've lived in. Sure, they may have a common like or dislike of specific political personalities and / or policies, but when you live in, say, Estonia, Bernie Sanders means jack-shit to your daily life because you don't live in America. It is a good way to bore everyone around you to death, however.

This is basically the easiest way to paint a target on yourself that says two things: one, I know nothing about the culture, customs, history, language, or people of the country I'm visiting, but I'm totes one of you guys because I'm such an Alternative American; two, mug me and take everything I have.

Don't be like Cole.
Click to expand...
He's lesser Moviebob who unfortunately carries the Weston "don't give a fuck" gene. His only legacy is "Chris chan's brother who hated toy story 3" because he refuses to make an actual name for himself in the world of film/critique out of a paradoxical fear of the sonichu shaped shadow encompassing him,thus ironically allowing himself to sink futher into it. Alot of reviewcows on the farms are considered "The real life Brian Griffin" but he might just be that. Brian whoring himself out for a free dinner because he thinks his wisdom is that indispensable sounds perfectly in character.
 
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I was watching A Bucket of Blood the other day and saw this as a review for it on the movie's info psge i
on plex.

I was surprised as i expected more of a review from him. That's my fault really.
 
D is for Stupid said:
View attachment 7416613

I was watching A Bucket of Blood the other day and saw this as a review for it on the movie's info psge i
on plex.

I was surprised as i expected more of a review from him. That's my fault really.
Click to expand...
Do you think Chris will go see Lilo and stitch remake?

I mean he can relate he is a (formerly) blue (presently) monster who has repressed his monstrous impulses for a weird outcast girl who is doing goodness lessons to keep him a viable money maker.

That last part would be Disney of course but the weird outcast girl herself probably wants Chris to behave... I mean you know the kind the girl that thinks she's going to "save him". Which in itself is a pretty outdated thing to harp on both the girl trying to save the guy and it being something to laugh at.

I mean I would say that Caden would be the cross dressing alien but you know that's also Chris.

Actually I can't believe I just compared Chris to Stitch that's terrible to Stitch. An insult really.
 
JackoVerde said:
One good thing about Cole is you can’t really troll him, he doesn’t even entertain it.

I don’t think he’s ever publically mentioned his brother or his mom. Or told trolls to fuck off.

With the pure ego of Cole, he could have been a Patrick thomlinson and stalker childing everyone. But he has some self restraint.
Click to expand...
It's the application of that age-old Internet wisdom: Simply just don't engage.

It also helps that Cole is really only a tangential figure in Christory and hasn't even talked to Chris in well over a decade. He was never an obvious target in the same way Snyder or Borb or Megan were. Nobody really gave much of a shit even when Chris was sperging about him during the Financhu crisis. He may has well just been some random guy. Other than being related to Chris and Barb, there's nothing very interesting about Cole. Cringey egotistical movie reviewers are a dime a dozen on the Internet, even back during the Classic era.
 
King Kiwi said:
Do you think Chris will go see Lilo and stitch remake?

I mean he can relate he is a (formerly) blue (presently) monster who has repressed his monstrous impulses for a weird outcast girl who is doing goodness lessons to keep him a viable money maker.
Click to expand...

No, his ego is too inflated(like his waist line) to go see a movie about him acting like s little shit at first.


King Kiwi said:
That last part would be Disney of course but the weird outcast girl herself probably wants Chris to behave... I mean you know the kind the girl that thinks she's going to "save him". Which in itself is a pretty outdated thing to harp on both the girl trying to save the guy and it being something to laugh at.

I mean I would say that Caden would be the cross dressing alien but you know that's also Chris.
Click to expand...

Disney and caden have things in common... they take classics and water them down and ruin them to try and sell to the masses and the mass are too dumb to know they are getting an inferior storytelling.

King Kiwi said:
Actually I can't believe I just compared Chris to Stitch that's terrible to Stitch. An insult really.
Click to expand...

Lilo and stitch is modern Disney classic that breaks disney's mold of princes and princesses. At the end the crazed alien learns the value of love, care, and true and honest friendship. Chris and caden have both been to jail and think it's better to hold the insides of one's pocket then to be respected.
 
When's the last time Cole posted online or showed any sign of life? I looked through his site and couldn't find any updates from the last few years. Does he have a Twitter or something?
 
CFC-12 said:
It's the application of that age-old Internet wisdom: Simply just don't engage.

It also helps that Cole is really only a tangential figure in Christory and hasn't even talked to Chris in well over a decade. He was never an obvious target in the same way Snyder or Borb or Megan were. Nobody really gave much of a shit even when Chris was sperging about him during the Financhu crisis. He may has well just been some random guy. Other than being related to Chris and Barb, there's nothing very interesting about Cole. Cringey egotistical movie reviewers are a dime a dozen on the Internet, even back during the Classic era.
Click to expand...

In all seriousness, Cole Smithey is not a lolcow. He is, at best, occasionally marginally interesting to talk about.

Now take a look at the freaks with threads on the Lolcow subforum and you'll see Cole is not even in the same solar system as the likes of Jack Scalfani or BossmanJack
 
Jonny Greenwood said:
In all seriousness, Cole Smithey is not a lolcow. He is, at best, occasionally marginally interesting to talk about.

Now take a look at the freaks with threads on the Lolcow subforum and you'll see Cole is not even in the same solar system as the likes of Jack Scalfani or BossmanJack
Click to expand...
That is true of everyone who is known only for interacting with Chris Chan so it's not just Cole specific. Borb, Megan, Mike Snyder, Cole- none of these people are interesting at all in their own right. They're only interesting because of how they relate to Chris. Literally no one here would care about those people in their own right.
 
Hey I know that Chris you know did that Cole throwing money to a fireplace and not giving it to him and Barb thing one time...

But is Cole actually well off financially?

I think I read somewhere that he lives with his rich successful wife in New York in a penthouse or something but I wasn't sure.

I mean he just has his band and movie reviews right? It's his wife that makes the most money but I don't know does Cole really have money to burn?
 
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