Now as I sit in my friends spare bedroom, the quiet and stark shift is every day eating away at me. Just a week ago my life looked SO different. I'd be at home (even though sleeping downstairs in the basement), wake up with the kids. Give our youngest her breakfast bottle, give our oldest breakfast when he wakes up. Playtime, bath time, seeing them, everything. I was used to this schedule where really I only had maybe 1-2 hours of solo time a day to myself. Honestly at the time, it was exhausting and I wanted nothing more than what I have right now. Some escape from the stresses and emotional tasks of fatherhood and parenthood. But now, in the quiet, in the silence. Its crippling. I don't know who I am anymore. I miss my kids and my wife more than anything. I keep waiting for this to be some dream that I wake up from. It doesn't feel real.